FEMALE- 
IMPERSONATORS 


WERTHEft-JUNS 


GfqEZlAJ 


Digitized  by  the  Internet  Archive 
in  2011  with  funding  from 
Duke  University  Libraries 


http://www.archive.org/details/femaleimpersonatOOwert 


O 


X 


o 


a 

« 
bo 

"> 


5h 
0) 

O 


o 


<J 


A  sequel  to  the  AUTOBIOGRAPHY  OF   AN  AN- 
DROGYNE and  an  account  of  some  of  the  author's 
experiences  during  his  six  years'  career  as  in- 
stinctive female-impersonator  in  New  York's 
Underworld;  together  with  the  life  stories 
of    androgyne   associates    and   an   outline 
of  his  subsequently  acquired  knowledge 
of     kindred     phenomena     of     human 
character  and  psychology. 


BY 

RALPH   WERTHER— JENNIE    JUNE 
("EARL  LIND") 

Author  also  of 
The  Riddle  of  the  Underworld 

edited,  with  introduction 

BY 

ALFRED  W.  HERZOG,  Ph.B.,  A.M.,  M.D. 

Member  of  the  New  York  and  the 
New  Jersey  Bar 

Editor  of  the  Medico-Legal  Journal 

NEW  YORK 

THE    MEDICO-LEGAL   JOURNAL 

1922 


Copyright,  1922 
By  ALFRED  W.  HERZOG 


First  edition,  1,000  copies.  Sold  only  to  physicians,  lawyers, 
clergymen,  teachers,  writers,  psychologists,  sociologists,  and 
legislators;  by  Medico-Legal  Journal,  123  West  83d  Street,  New 
York  City. 


This  is  copy  Number and  is  sold 

to    


Inscribed  to  Nature's  Step-Children — 
the  sexually  abnormal  by  birth — in  the  hope 
that  their  lives  may  be  rendered  more  toler- 
able through  the  author's  efforts  to  enlight- 
en thinking  men  on  these  step-children's 
psychology  and  life  experience. 


"But  this  is  a  people  robbed  and  spoiled ; 
they  are  all  of  them  snared  in  holes,  and 
they  are  hid  in  prison  houses;  they  are  for 
a  prey,  and  none  delivereth;  for  a  spoil, 
and  none  saith,  Restore. 

"Who  among  you  will  give  ear  to  this? 
Who  will  hearken  and  hear  for  the  time  to 
come?"— Isaiah  XLII,  v.  22,  23. 


CONTENTS 


Introduction,  by  Dr.  Alfred  W.  Herzog VII 

Part  One  :    The  Third  Sex 

I.  How  This  Book  Came  to  Be  Written 1 

II.  The  Place  of  the  Androgyne  in  the  Male  Sex- 

Scale  7 

III.  Androgynes  of  Mythology  and  History 25 

IV.  Man  Is  a  Passional,  Rather  Than  a  Rational, 

Being 39 

Part  Two  :  How  the  Author  Came  to  Be  a  Female- 
Impersonator 

I.  Reveries  Suggested  by  My  Infancy 53 

II.  School   Days 63- 

III.  An  Androgyne's  Youth 70 

IV.  I  Grow  into  The  Fairie  Boy 82 

V.  The  Boy  Who  Never  Grew  to  Be  a  Man 89 

Part  Three:    The  Fairie  Boy 

I.  Female-Impersonation 97 

II.  A  Typical  Female-Impersonation  Spree 103 

III.  The  Gambler 114 

IV.  A  Stuyvesant  Square  Pick-up 130 

V.  Evenings  at  Paresis  Hall 146 

VI.  Thoughts    Suggested    by    the    "Hermaphro- 

ditoi"  in  General 164 

Part  Four:    Frank — Eunice 

I.  Debut  as  Adult  Female-Impersonator 170 

II.  The  Pug  Heaven 175 

[iv] 


Contents. 

Page 

III.  A  University  Friendship 178 

IV.  The  Masked  Ball 182 

V.  Frank — Eunice's   Indiscretion 191 

Part  Five:    Angelo — Phyllis 

I.  Angelo  Angevine's  Debut  as  Public  Female- 

Impersonator  198 

II.  Jailed  for  Wearing  Petticoats 209 

III.  George  Greenwood 214 

Part  Six:     Newspaper  Accounts  of  Murders  of 
Androgynes 

I.  Two    Murder    Mysteries    Which,     Strangely 

Alike  in  Many  Ways,  Baffled  All  Efforts 
to    Solve 223 

II.  Z  Mystery  Baffles  Inquiry  at  Every  Angle ....  237 

III.  College  Student's  Death  Is  Unexplained 259 

Part  Seven  :  Medical  Writers  on  Androgynism 

I.  What  a  New  York  Official  Physician  Has  to 

Say  about  Fairies 262 

II.  What   One   of    America's    Foremost    Medical 

Writers  Has  to  Say  about  Fairies 266 

Part  Eight:    Androgyne  Verse 

I.  Emotion 271 

II.  Recollection 275 

III.  Memories 278 

IV.  French  Doll  Baby 280 

Announcement   of   The   Riddle  of  the   Under- 
world   283 

Index 286 

[v] 


ILLUSTRATIONS 

Page 

I.  The  Author — A  Modern  Living  Replica  of  the  Ancient 

Greek"  Statue,  "Hermaphroditos"  (Photo  by  Dr.  A. 
W.    Herzog) Frontispiece 

II.  Ancient  Greek  Statue  of  an  Androgyne,  Called  "Her- 

maphroditos," Now  in  the  Uffizi  Gallery,  Florence, 
Italy 25 

III.  Alexander  the  Great — An  Androgyne  of  the  Mild  Type  31 
rV.       Julius  Cassar — An  Androgyne  of  the  Mild  Type 31 

V.  Raphael — the  Most  Gifted  Ultra-Androgyne  the  World 

Has   Known 33 

VI.  The  "Fairie  Boy"  Ready  to  Set  Out  on  Life's  Journey  53 

VII.  My  Garden  of  Gethsemane 78 

VIII.  Front  View  of  Author  at  Thirty-three  (Photo  by  Dr. 

R.  W.  Shufeldt) 82 

IX.  Rear  view  of  Author  at  Thirty-three   (Photo  by  Dr. 

R.   W.   Shufeldt) 89 

X.  Fourteenth    Street    Rialto,    Stamping-Ground    of    the 

Hermaphroditoi 105 

XI.  Stuyvesant   Square,   One  of  Jennie  June's   Stamping 

Grounds 105 

XII.  Neighborhood    Where    Harvey    Green    Thought    He 

"Finished"  Jennie  June 140 

XIII.  The  Author  at  Thirty-four  (Amateur  photo) 164 

XrV.     Bowery,  in  the  Nineteenth  Century  America's   Main 

Red-Light  Street,  and  Stamping-Ground  of  Frank- 
Eunice,  Angelo-Phyllis  and  Ralph  Werther-Jennie 
June 169 

XV.  Michelangelo's    Adam 216 

XVI.  Whitestone  Railroad  Station   ("Holy  Ground") 

271,  272,  273 

XVII.  "The  Boy  of  the  Piave"  (America's  gift  to  Italy  in 

1921) , 277 

[vi] 


^xdxobnctian 
******* 

When,  in  1918,  I  agreed  to  publish  the  author's 
Autobiography  of  an  Androgyne,  I  did  so  because 
persuaded  that  androgynism  was  not  sufficiently  un- 
derstood and  that  therefore  androgynes  were  unjustly 
made  to  suffer. 

Owing  to  the  subject  matter,  or  rather  on  account 
of  the  way  in  which  it  was  presented  by  the  author, 
I  was  obliged  to  restrict  the  sale  of  the  book  to  phy- 
sicians, lawyers,  legislators,  psychologists,  and  soci- 
ologists. 

The  sale  of  the  book,  while  not  as  large  as  it 
ought  to  have  been,  showed  however  that  the  interest 
of  the  professional  man  could  be  awakened,  and  he 
be  made  to  realize  that  the  androgyne  is  no  more  to 
be  punished  for  his  harmless  sexual  transgressions 
than  a  congenital  physical  cripple  for  the  latter's 
unaesthetic  physique. 

Hardly  had  the  Autobiography  of  an  Androgyne 
been  published,  when  the  author  (who,  it  must 
be  understood,  belongs  to  that  despised  class  of 
sexual  cripples)  started,  £o  use  his  own  words, 
"to  peddle  the  script"  of  The  Female-Impersonators 
around  to  general  book  publishers,  and  continued  to 
do  so  for  two  years,  until  ten  publishers  had  returned 
it  to  him  as  unsuited  for  general  circulation. 

It  must  be  understood  that  the  author  wrote  The 
Female-Impersonators   for   the   general   reader   as 

[vii] 


viii  Introduction. 

he  felt  that,  although  propaganda  among  scientists 
was  necessary,  and  would  undoubtedly  do  some  good, 
really  to  help  the  suffering  androgyne  quickly,  it  was 
necessary  to  reach  the  general  public. 

In  this  idea  the  author  was  not  wrong.  During 
the  last  few  years  several  suicides  and  murders  of 
androgynes  have  come  to  my  personal  notice,  and 
although  a  change  of  laws,  which  would  do  away  with 
the  punishment  of  androgynes  for  their  harmless 
sexual  lapses,  would  do  a  great  deal  to  ameliorate  the 
conditions  surrounding  their  lives  (particularly  pre- 
vent much  blackmail,  from  which  they  continually 
suffer)  yet  the  suicides  of  androgynes  are  almost 
always  due,  not  to  fear  of  punishment  by  the  law,  but 
to  fear  of  exposure,  which  would  cause  the  loss  of  their 
positions  and  insure  their  being  shunned  by  "decent" 
society. 

As  to  the  frequent  murders  of  androgynes,  these 
surely  have  not  been  committed  by  members  of  the 
medical,  legal  or  other  learned  professions,  but  by  men 
belonging  to  "the  general  public" — men  more  or  less 
"civilized,"  but  altogether  brutal. 

It  can  not  be  doubted  that  a  repeal  of  those  laws 
which  prescribe  punishment  for  sexual  lapses  of 
these  "pseudo-men"  would  do  good,  as  it  would  not 
only  save  them  from  prison  terms,  but  also  enable  the 
braver  of  them  to  prosecute  and  stop  blackmailers, 
who  make  a  regular  business  of  draining  the  resources 
of  androgynes.    . 

It  is  however  impossible  to  achieve  all  that  is 
desirable  until  the  general  public  has  been  thoroughly 
impregnated  with  the  fact  that  androgynism  (as  well 


Introduction.  ix 

as  its  correlative,  gynandrism)  is  a  psychopathic/, 
sexualis,  a  mental  twist,  as  harmless  to  society  as  any- 
thing can  be,  because  it  is  neither  infectious  nor  con- 
tagious, and  can  not  be  induced  in  anybody  through 
either  association  with  androgynes  or  through  quasi- 
philosophical  (that  is,  sophistical)  teachings  or  cults. 

It  must  be  understood  that  a  normal  man  can  not 
develop  sexual  feelings  or  desires  for  another  man, 
although  it  must  be  admitted  that  homosexuality  is 
occasionally  practiced  under  conditions  where  access 
to  the  opposite  sex  is  impossible  (or  next  to  impos- 
sible), as,  for  example,  among  soldiers  on  campaigns, 
among  sailors  during  long  voyages  on  sailing  vessels, 
in  boarding-schools  for  adolescents,  etc.  This  species 
of  homosexuality  is  indulged  in  only  from  "necessity" 
— so  to  say — and  is  not  considered  by  those  indulging 
as  much  different  from  self-manustupration.  It  is 
gladly  abandoned  as  soon  as  access  to  the  opposite  sex 
has  become  possible. 

An  ultra-androgyne  however,  although  he  has  the 
male  primary  physical  attributes,  never  feels  himself 
to  be  a  real  male,  but  a  female  incarnated  in  a  male 
body  (often  with  feminine  earmarks),  and  would  no 
more  be  able  to  develop  sexual  feelings  for  a  female 
than  a  normal  man  for  another  male. 

It  is  therefore  a  consummation  devoutly  to  be 
wished  that  a  book  setting  forth  the  facts  of  andro- 
gynism  could  be  distributed  among  the  general  public. 
The  author  tried  to  write  a  compendium  for  such 
readers,  and  The  Female-Impersonators  is  the  re- 
sult. 

That  he  has  failed  in  his  attempt  is  to  me  not 
only  very  apparent,  but  also  quite  natural. 


x  Introduction. 

To  the  author  nothing  that  he  has  written  about 
the  practices  of  androgynes  seems  what  we  call  im- 
moral or  revolting.  Because  their  own  congenital 
sexual  tendencies  appear  to  androgynes  as  the  full- 
fledged  man's  appear  to  the  latter. 

To  the  author  of  The  Female-Impersonators  it 
is  as  natural  to  fall  in  love  with  another  male  (bearing 
in  mind  however  that  the  androgyne  is  only  a  "pseudo- 
male")  and  write,  what  he  calls  poems,  dedicated  to 
his  "hero-boys"  (who  to  me  appear  nothing  but  low 
ruffians,  blackmailers,  and  grafters)  as  it  would  be 
for  a  normal  man  to  fall  in  love  with  some  good-look- 
ing female,  and  write  "poetry"  about  her,  perhaps  in 
some  of  his  later  "poems"  to  bewail  the  fact  that  she 
has  proven  herself  "faithless,  truthless,  and  makes  a 
sale  of  that  which  men  call  love,  to  him  who  bids  the 
highest." 

It  is  therefore  but  natural  that,  since  the  author 
sees  human  beings,  as  it  were,  distorted  through  his 
own  mental  astigmatism,  namely  females  as  belonging 
to  his  own  sex  and  males  to  the  opposite,  his  second 
book,  The  Female-Impersonators,  contains  a  great 
deal  which  to  the  average  reader  would  be  "shocking", 
and  thus,  instead  of  accomplishing  the  result  which  he 
intended,  would  cause  disgust,  and  make  the  treat- 
ment of  the  androgyne  even  worse  than  at  present. 

After  the  author  had  submitted  the  manuscript  of 
his  book  to  numerous  publishers,  trying  in  vain  (as  I 
had  predicted  to  him)  to  induce  one  of  them  to  bring 
out  the  book  for  general  circulation,  I  agreed  to  pub- 
lish it  for  restricted  sale. 

Not  because  I  really  felt  that  the  book  presents 
a  great  deal  of  new  material  of  scientific  interest,  but 


Introduction.  xi 

because,  by  describing  the  life  experience  of  various 
other  androgynes,  their  viewpoints,  their  sufferings, 
it  continues  the  missionary  work  begun  by  the  author 
in  his  Autobiography  of  an  Androgyne  and  thus 
helps  in  keeping  up  the  good  work.  For,  to  achieve 
results,  it  is  not  only  necessary  to  awaken  interest  in 
a  subject,  but  also  to  keep  that  interest  alive. 

Gutta  cavat  lapidem,  non  vit  sed  saepe  cadendo. 
"A  drop  of  water  wears  a  hole  in  a  stone,  not  by  force, 
but  by  frequently  falling." 

That  the  author  is  really  doing  missionary  work 
can  not  be  doubted  by  me,  for  I  know  that  he  does 
not  derive  any  financial  benefit  from  the  publication 
of  his  Autobiography  of  an  Androgyne,  nor  do  I 
expect  he  will  from  the  publication  of  the  present 
sequel. 

Every  cent  which  I  have  turned  over  to  him  as 
royalties  from  the  sale  of  his  Autobiography  he  has 
returned  to  me  to  be  expended  for  advertisements  in 
various  medical  journals  and,  owing  to  the  slight 
interest  in  the  subject  which  exists  among  physicians, 
I  am  sorry  to  say  that  those  advertisements  have  not 
been  financially  remunerative. 

As  the  author  however  feels  that  he  has  a  mission 
to  fulfill;  that  he  has  been  created  by  Providence  one 
of  the  despised  androgynes  for  the  purpose  of  taking 
up  their  cause  and  ameliorating  their  state  of  almost 
unparalleled  sufferings,  the  missionary  work  will  go 
on,  as  it  has  begun. 

As  in  the  case  of  the  first  of  the  present  trilogy, 
The  Female-Impersonators  is  published  practically 
as  its  author  wrote  it. 


xii  Introduction. 

For  my  impressions  of  the  author's  personality, 
I  refer  to  my  Introduction  in  his  Autobiography  of 
an  Androgyne. 

ALFRED  W.  HERZOG. 

March,  1922 


Weft  (Sfmrak-^mpersimators 

fart  One: 

I.     How  This  Book  Came  to  Be  Written. 

My  motive  was  humanitarian.  My  aim  was  to 
save  thousands  of  innocent  stepchildren  of  Nature 
from  an  aggregate  of  tens  of  thousands  of  years  in 
prison,  and  bring  about  a  repeal  of  the  laws  under 
which  they  are  incarcerated  and  which  are  still  in  the 
codes  because  civilized  man  has  not  yet  entirely 
emerged  from  the  prejudice  and  superstition  of  the 
Dark  Ages.  My  second  aim  was  to  put  a  stop  to  the 
continuous  string  of  murders  of  these  stepchildren,  the 
assassins  laboring  under  the  delusion  that  homosexu- 
ality is  due  to  deepest  moral  depravity,  and  feeling 
that  they  are  mandatories  of  society  in  ridding  the 
world  of  these  "monsters."  My  third  aim  was  to  save 
hundreds  of  these  superlatively  melancholy  sexual  in- 
termediates from  suicide  as  the  result  of  bitter  perse- 
cution by  those  who  pride  themselves  on  the  fact  that 
in  their  own  case,  sex  has  been  thoroughly  differ- 
entiated. 

[l] 


2  The  Sexual  The  Worst  Crippling. 

The  problem  of  the  bisexual  girl-boy  or  androgyne 
has  been  presented  for  the  learned  professions  in  my 
Autobiography  of  an  Androgyne  and  The  Riddle  of 
the  Underworld.  But  to  accomplish  my  three  aims, 
it  is  necessary  that  the  general  reader  have  instilled 
into  his  mind  that  sexual  intermediates  are  not  to 
blame  for  their  cross-sex  idiosyncrasies.  Such  knowl- 
edge could  not  besmirch  the  soul  of  the  general  reader, 
but  only  benefit  him  morally. 

In  the  present  work  I  have  a  message  for  the  gen- 
eral reader  such  as,  in  nearly  every  individual  case, 
has  never  yet  reached  him.  My  God-given  mission 
is  to  be  one  of  the  first  to  cry:  "Child  of  English 
culture,1  reflect  a  moment,  and  ask  yourself  whether 
you  are  at  last,  in  this  the  most  enlightened  century 
of  man's  existence,  willing  to  grant  justice  and  humane 
treatment  to  the  androgyne  and  gynander?  Do  you 
still  insist  that  these  sexual  cripples  continue  to  suffer 
physical  and  mental  torture  for  another  century  be- 
cause your  own  pleasure  bulks  too  large  for  you  to  hear 
and  bear  the  truth  about  the  despairing  cross-sexed? 

Why  should  the  Christian  and  the  Jew  have  al- 
ways regarded  as  the  one  unpardonable  sin  the  union 
in  one  human  body  of  the  distinctive  physical  and 
psychic  earmarks  of  the  two  recognized  sexes?  Why 
should  they  have  pitied  and  assisted  the  club-footed 
and  the  deaf-mute,  but  always  endeavored  to  grind 
sexual  cripples  to  powder  under  their  heels? 

There  is  indeed  no  worse  crippling  than  the  sex- 
ual.     This  is  because  sex,  with  all  that  it  implies,  is 

1  Continental  European  civilizations  are,  on  this  subject,  a 
half -century  ahead  of  Anglo-American. 


Author's  Trilogy.  3 

the  principal  physiological  factor  in  life.     Any  abnor- 
mality of  sex  is  truly  the  greatest  of  tragedies. 

Reader,  what  would  have  been  your  own  attitude 
on  this  question  if  God  had  created  you,  or  your  son 
or  daughter,  a  sexual  intermediate,  instead  of  some 
stranger  about  whose  banishment,  suicide,  or  murder 
you  have  read  in  the  paper?  Would  you  have  driven 
the  ill-starred  son  or  daughter  from  home,  and  hence- 
forth treated  them  as  dead?  Or  would  you,  when 
their  dead  body  was  fished  out  of  the  river,  be  able 
to  feel  pity  as  did  a  father  I  read  about  in  a  New  York 
paper,  who  exclaimed  at  sight  of  it:  "Poor  Jimmie! 
How  you  must  have  suffered  I"1 


My  first  three  books  on  sexology  form  a  trilogy. 
They  together  set  forth  all  phases  of  the  life  experience 
of  a  bisexual  university  "man."  To  only  a  trifling 
extent  do  they  overlap.  Thus  the  scientist  wishing 
a  full  account  of  my  unique  life  experience  must  read 
the  entire  trilogy.  For  I  was  predestined  to  an  un- 
usual role  in  the  great  drama  we  call  "life."  I  was 
brought  into  the  world  as  one  of  the  rare  humans  who 
possess  a  strong  claim,  on  anatomic  grounds  as  well 
as  psychic,  to  membership  in  both  the  recognized  sexes. 
I  was  foreordained  to  live  part  of  my  life  as  man  and 
part  as  woman. 

The  first  of  the  trilogy,  the  Autobiography  of 
an  Androgyne,  was  published  in  January,  1919.  In  the 
following  June,  I  began  a  supplement,  The  Female- 
Impersonators.  Before  September,  I  began  to  sub- 
mit it  to  publishers.    But  they  refused  to  do  anything 

iSee  Part  VI,  chapter  III. 


4  Enemies  of  Truth  and  Justice. 

toward  ameliorating  the  condition  of  the  world's  most 
oppressed  class.  It  seemed  to  be  their  opinion  that 
the  world  must  have  its  scapegoat — to  punish,  vicari- 
ously, for  the  world's  own  sins.  For  centuries,  sexual 
intermediates  had  served  the  world  in  that  capacity. 

After  I  had  peddled  the  script  around  for  two 
years  to  a  total  of  ten  regular  book  publishers,  the 
Medico-Legal  Journal,  publisher  of  my  first  book, 
consented  to  make  the  work  available  for  those  inter- 
ested. The  long  delay  in  publication  was  utilized  by 
myself  in  improving  the  form. 

The  third  of  the  trilogy,  The  Riddle  of  The  Un- 
derworld, has  been  elaborated  simultaneously  with 
The  Female-Impersonators.  Into  the  latter,  I  put 
the  "milk  for  babes"  (in  St.  Paul's  language)  ;  into  the 
former,  the  "meat  for  strong  men."  I  wrote  the  lat- 
ter in  a  popular  style  because  addressed  primarily  to 
the  general  reader ;  the  former  more  in  the  style  suit- 
able for  scientists. 

In  my  Autobiography,  I  was  almost  exclusively 
occupied  with  a  frank  exposition  of  what  life  meant 
to  me  personally.  In  the  two  supplements,  I  have 
been  chiefly  occupied  in  depicting  characters  with 
whom  I  associated  in  the  Underworld.  The  Bible  says : 
"Man  is  altogether  born  in  sin !"  But  in  Christendom 
this  is  really  true  of  only  the  one-tenth  of  the  race 
who  people  the  Underworld.  The  other  nine-tenths 
are  comparatively  saints.  But  there  exists  no  reason 
for  the  latter's  prevalent  Phariseeism.  For  the  most 
part  their  moral  superiority  is  hereditary  and  environ- 
mental. 

Because  of  my  innate  appetencies  and  avocation 
of  female-impersonator,  I  was  fated  to  be  a  Nature- 


Author  Repository  for  Underworld's  Secrets.        5 

appointed  amateur  detective.  I  enjoyed  entree  to  the 
hearts  of  both  male  and  female  denizens  of  the  Under- 
world, my  stamping-ground  when  I  surrendered  my 
bisexual  body  to  the  feminine  side  of  my  dual  psyche. 
They  would  whisper  into  my  ears  their  innermost 
secrets.  Those  who  happened  to  be  Roman  Catholics 
(because  some  whom  I  met  in  the  Underworld  were 
only  chance  and  rare  visitors,  and  ordinarily  able  to 
live  up  to  high  ideals)  have  doubtless  revealed  the  mys- 
teries of  their  inner  life  to  their  priest  in  the  vaguest 
terms.  But  with  me,  because  as  a  rule  ignorant  of  the 
confessor's  identity  and  not  likely  to  meet  him  in 
Overworld  life,  the  confessions  of  Roman  Catholic. 
Protestant,  Jew,  and  atheist  were  detailed  and  exhaus- 
tive. Surely  my  having  been  thus  favored  by  Provi- 
dence ought  to  qualify  me  to  depict  little  known  human 
types  for  those  who  have  missed  the  opportunity  of 
meeting  all  kinds  of  people. 

Of  course,  after  the  lapse  of  more  than  a  score  of 
years,  I  can  not  recall  verbatim  the  individual  confes- 
sions and  conversations.  I  remember  only  their  gen- 
eral drift.  As  outlined  by  me,  they  are  merely  repre- 
sentative. But  Nature  has  endowed  me  with  a  rare 
memory.  The  earliest  ascertainable  date  is  the  age 
of  two  years  and  three  months,  when  I  recall  having 
seen  the  coffin  of  a  great-grandmother  carried  out  of 
the  house.  I  still  preserve  earlier  memories,  such  as 
being  held  on  my  mother's  lap  and  contemplating  her 
mountainous  bare  breast.  I  remember  hearing  the 
moon  whistle  shrilly  (the  six  P.  M.  factory  whistles  as 
I  gazed  at  the  crescent  moon) . 

No  reader  should  conclude  from  my  trilogy  that 
New  York  has  been  particularly  immoral.     Conditions 


6  Why  an  Underworld. 

are  about  the  same  in  all  great  cities,  except  that  those 
of  the  United  States  are  puritan  towns  compared  with 
Europe.  I  have  explored  the  Underworld  in  many- 
cities  of  both  continents,  being  temperamentally  quali- 
fied. But  in  America's  smaller  cities  west  of  the  merid- 
ian of  Kansas  City,  the  sexual  Underworld  is  more 
bold  and  wields  more  political  power  than  anywhere 
else  in  the  United  States  or  Europe. 

An  Underworld  exists  in  all  cities  of  any  size  be- 
cause human  nature  is  what  it  is,  and  because  of  the 
social  usages  decreed  by  the  blind  Overworld,  which 
happens  to  include  the  vast  majority  of  mankind. 
Man  is  descended  from  the  beasts,  and  still  retains 
many  of  their  instincts — particularly  true  of  the 
atypic  or  atavic  who  throng  the  red-light  districts. 

As  the  Medical  World  said  of  my  Autobiogra- 
phy of  an  Androgyne,  the  present  work  also  "will 
be  found  a  revelation  of  things  undreamed  of  by  most 
people.  It  is  a  contribution  to  the  almost  unexplored 
field  of  abnormal  psychology," 


The  Third  Sex. 


II.    The  Place  of  the  Androgyne  in  the  Male  Sex  Scale. 

Throughout  the  ages  that  mankind  have  trod  the 
earth,  a  broad  and  endless  stream  of  masculinity  has 
coursed  along  until  swallowed  in  the  ocean  of  eternity. 
In  all  streams — whether  of  water,  lava,  or  manhood — 
the  particles  at  the  center  flow  most  rapidly  and  the 
speed  gradually  decreases  toward  the  banks.  At  oc- 
casional points  along  the  latter,  the  particles  are  sta- 
tionary, or  there  is  even  an  eddy. 

(1)  The  Tremendously  Virile  cause  the  surg- 
ing rapids  at  the  center  of  the  masculine  river.  Their 
pre-eminent  characteristic  lies  in  excessive  venery  and 
excessive  promiscuity.  Sex  holds  by  far  the  chief 
place  in  their  thoughts.  A  large  part  of  their  waking 
hours  is  spent  in  the  torture  of  unsatisfied  longing. 
Their  conversation  with  business  intimates  tends  to 
sexual  lines.  They  are  the  "black  sheep"  of  families, 
never  letting  an  opportunity  go  by  without  improving 
it.  They  are  the  seducers  of  girls  under  puberty. 
They  are  largely  instrumental  in  securing  a  continuous 
flow  of  recruits  to  the  rapidly  decimating  demimonde. 
Indeed  the  tremendously  virile  constitute  the  latter's 
chief  raison  d'etre. 

Their  ambition  being  to  be  "the  husbands  of  all 
women,"  the  tremendously  virile,  among  Christian 
nations,  often  do  not  marry.  If  they  do,  a  separation 
or  divorce  follows  within  a  few  years. 

As  a  rule,  only  these  free  lances — as  long  as  under 
thirty — appeal  to  androgynes  as  "heroes."      To  them 


8  The  Tremendously  Virile. 

alone  do  these  pseudo-men  yearn  to  devote  themselves 
as  slaves. 

As  a  rule,  the  tremendously  virile  are  not  gentle- 
men.  For  they  possess  not  even  a  vestige  of  mild  or 
semi-feminine  traits.  They  are  overbearing,  quar- 
relsome, and  pugnacious.  They  will  not  take  a  back 
seat  for  any  one.  They  constitute  the  raw  material 
for  the  roughest,  rudest,  and  most  death-defying  oc- 
cupations, as  volunteer  soldiers  and  sailors,  pugilists, 
highwaymen,  and  burglars.     They  abhor  prosaic  work. 

As  a  rule,  the  tremendously  virile  are  men  of  only 
three  interests  in  life:  fighting  (including  the  slaugh- 
ter of  dumb  beasts,  in  their  inability  to  give  the  same 
treatment  to  their  fellow  man)  ;  sport  in  the  usual 
sense  of  that  word;  and  the  sexual  instinct.  But  a 
mere  handful,  whom  Nature  endowed  with  unusual 
brain  power,  have  been  leaders  in  war  and  politics. 
In  the  United  States,  I  dare  instance  only  Mohammed, 
Henry  the  Eighth,  Louis  the  Fourteenth,  and  Bis- 
marck. But  leaders  of  the  American  nation  have  be- 
longed to  this  tremendously  virile  class.  I  dare  not 
name  them  because  cultured  society,  with  their  present 
mediaeval  ideas  on  sex,  severely  censure  men  of  this 
class  as  "bestial."  But  the  latter  are  fundamentally 
irresponsible. 

In  absolute  monarchies  and  aristocracies  almost 
throughout  history,  the  tremendously  virile  have  been 
at  the  helm  of  the  ship  of  state.  Because  they  have 
been,  by  birth,  the  greatest  fighters.  They  thus  forged 
to  the  front  and  pre-empted  for  themselves  and  their 
posterity  the  best  things  of  life.  Their  constituting 
themselves  the  ruling  class  has  rendered  history,  for 
the  most  part,  a  record  of  wars.     Tremendous  virility, 


The  Ultra-Virile.  9 

combined  with  unusual  brain  power,  makes  the  born 
leader  of  men,  before  whose  will  the  masses  bow  un- 
questioningly  and  they  blindly  turn  themselves  into 
"cannon  fodder"  at  his  beck  and  call.  Only  since  the 
dawn  of  the  nineteenth  century  have  the  mildly  virile 
been  coming  into  their  own,  and  brain  and  science  be- 
ginning to  get  the  upper  hand  over  brute  force.  The 
recent  World  War  was  the  final  resurgence  of  the  tre- 
mendously virile  as  moulders  of  the  destinies  of  na- 
tions, as  well  as  the  death  blow  to  their  ambitions  in 
this  direction. 

As  the  status  of  peoples  descends  from  the  en- 
lightened to  the  savage,  the  proportion  that  this  class 
forms  of  the  entire  male  sex  gradually  increases. 
Among  enlightened  nations,  I  estimate  it  at  five  per 
cent  on  the  basis  of  my  intimate  mingling,  in  the  role 
of  a  soubrette,  with  several  thousand  young  bachelors 
belonging  exclusively  to  either  the  tremendously  or 
ultra-virile  class,  while  nearly  all  my  every-day  asso- 
ciates have  belonged  to  the  mildly  virile. 

On  the  basis  of  my  reading  in  anthropology,  I 
estimate  the  proportion  among  savages  at  seventy- 
five  per  cent.  Among  the  adult  males,  I  have  read 
that  women  constitute  almost  the  sole  topic  of  conver- 
sation. Fighting  and  sport  fill  up  the  rest  of  life. 
When  an  explorer  has  visited  a  savage  or  barbarous 
tribe,  the  outstanding  hospitality  is  the  provision  of 
a  bed-fellow  belonging  to  the  gentle  sex. 

(2)  The  Ultra- Virile,  on  either  side  of  the  sex- 
ually fastest  flowing  particles  just  described,  take 
their  less  rapid  course  in  the  stream  of  masculinity. 
Sex  occupies  their  thoughts  to  a  much  less  extent. 
But,  like  the  tremendously  virile,  they  are  naturally 


10  Natural  Polygamy. 

polygamous.  Only  these  two  classes  of  males,  to- 
gether with  ultra-androgynes  and  a  small  proportion 
of  the  mildly  androgynous,  sow  wild  oats,  beginning 
in  their  later  teens  and  ending  usually  in  their  later 
twenties.  Prior  to  settling  down  in  marriage,  the 
ultra-virile  secretly  do  not  care  a  fig  for  the  sexual 
mandates  of  Christian  society.  But  for  the  sake  of 
appearances,  they  hypocritically  chime  in  with  the 
regnant  note  and  openly  condemn  in  the  harshest  terms 
the  least  infraction  of  the  conventions  by  another  than 
themselves.  After  marriage,  however,  their  infideli- 
ties are  few  and  far  between.  Perhaps  a  score  in  a 
life-time,  as  compared  with  a  thousand  upward  for  the 
tremendously  virile. 

The  ultra-virile  make  excellent  husbands  and  di- 
vorce is  rare.  The  wife,  however,  while  herself  occu- 
pying first  place  in  the  husband's  affections,  has  much 
cause  for  jealousy. 

While  the  ultra-virile  do  not  regularly  choose  an 
occupation  free  from  prosaic  toil  and  ministering  to 
love  of  sport  and  adventure,  they  are  usually  averse 
to  intellectual  pursuits,  favoring  the  manual.  If 
possessing  unusual  brain  power,  the  ultra-virile  man 
heads  some  engineering  or  construction  enterprise. 
The  ultra-virile  build  our  railroads,  great  bridges, 
leviathans,  and  sky-scrapers.  A  handful  arje  dis- 
tinguished by  a  knack  for  political  leadership  and 
have  contributed  the  vast  majority  of  such  leaders. 

Both  the  tremendously  and  the  ultra-virile  tend  to 
excel  in  physique  and  comeliness.  Some  athletes, 
however,  are  only  mildly  virile.  "Virility"  refers 
only   to   sexual   power.  More   than   the   ordinary 

erotic  ardor,  however,  usually  goes  hand  in  hand  with 


The  Mildly  Virile.  11 

brawn,  just  as  intellectual  tastes  and  spirituality  do 
with  brain.  With  the  evolution  of  the  race  in  cul- 
ture, erotic  ardor,  together  with  the  animal  side  of 
man's  nature  in  general,  is  declining.  The  goal  for 
which  the  race  is  headed  is  the  minimum  of  sexual 
consciousness,  coitus  for  procreation  only,  just  enough 
offspring  to  keep  the  number  of  the  human  race  on 
earth  stationary,  lengthened  life,  and  ever  increasing 
expansion  of  the  intellectual  in  man  at  the  expense  of 
the  physical.  With  this  evolution,  the  proportion  of 
sterile  bisexuals  will  also  increase. 

The  fighting  forces  of  a  nation  are  almost  entirely 
made  up  of  the  two  more  virile  classes,  although  to- 
gether constituting  only  about  twenty-five  per  cent  of 
the  total  manhood  of  civilized  nations.  It  is  dangerous 
for  the  world's  peace  when  these  two  classes  get  con- 
trol of  a  great  nation's  government.  Of  the  five 
classes  of  males  being  described,  these  two  alone  love 
war  and  seek  occasion  for  it. 

(3)  The  Mildly  Virile  constitute,  among  so- 
called  "Christian"  nations,  about  seventy-five  per  cent 
of  all  males.1     Only  on  rare  occasions  do  thoughts 

1  A  physician  of  wide  experience  who  read  the  above  before 
publication  argued  that  in  the  United  States,  only  five  per 
cent  are  mildly  virile.  I  stand  unconvinced  that  my  proportion 
is  in  error.  The  proportion  surely  differs  with  racial  types  and 
environment.  The  physician  has  always  lived  in  New  York  City 
and  practiced  among  liberal-minded,  non-church,  pleasure-lov- 
ing people  of  Teutonic  or  Latin  parentage.  My  own  every-day 
associates,  particularly  in  the  village  where  I  was  brought  up 
and  which  I  still  frequently  visit,  have  been,  almost  entirely, 
ultra-puritan  Anglo-Saxons.  When  I  maintained  their  sexual 
temperance,  the  physician  declared  them  hypocrites,  whose 
secret  practice  is  the  same  as  "worldlings'."  I  have  been  inti- 
mately acquainted  with  hundreds  of  these  male  puritan  church- 
devotees,  and  am  convinced  they  are  hypocrites  solely  in  sup- 
posing their  sexual  moderation  due  to  their  own  superior  morals. 
Sex  has  naturally  small  place  in  their  lives. 


12  Natural  Monogamy. 

about  sexual  congress  enter  their  minds.  That  is,  if 
married,  they  desire  it  only  about  once  a  fortnight  or 
so,  and  up  to  the  date  of  marriage,  the  incentive  is  so 
weak  that  they  never  gratify  it.  Thus  up  to  the  bridal 
night,  this  class  three  have  usually  been  as  chaste  as 
their  better  halves.  They  have  usually  never  indulged 
even  in  masturbation,  while  the  generality  of  classes 
one  and  two  have  indulged  frequently  from  around 
the  age  of  ten  to  the  period  in  which  opportunities 
cum  femina  or  cum  androgyna  become  plentiful.  In 
the  mildly  virile  man's  ignorance  of  the  force  of  sex 
in  classes  one  and  two,  however,  he  has  been  known  to 
be  obsessed  with  the  delusion  that  sex  in  himself  is 
strongly  developed.  The  mildly  virile  always  marry, 
although  a  few  postpone  it  until  much  past  thirty. 
Subsequently  they  have  at  most  only  negligible  desires 
to  drink  water  at  a  strange  cistern.  They  are  content 
to  go  to  their  graves  having  been  absolutely  faithful 
to  the  lawful  wife,  or  several  successive  ones,  that  God 
gave  them.  Divorce  is  almost  unknown,  since  its  cause, 
in  nearly  every  case,  is  de  facto  polygamy  in  the  hus- 
band, or  his  excessive  demands  on  the  frigid  wife — two 
faults  absent  from  the  psyche  of  the  mildly  virile. 

The  sexual  life  of  the  latter  flows  on  gently  and 
smoothly.  It  is  called  humdrum  by  the  tremendously 
virile,  continuously  wafted  up  and  down  in  a  dizzy 
fashion  in  the  rapids  at  the  center  of  the  masculine 
river.  But  what  the  mildly  virile  miss  of  the  "pep"  of 
life  is  more  than  compensated  by  the  blissful  peace 
that  characterizes  their  earthly  journey. 

Their  abhorrence  of  androgynism  is  many  times 
as  intense  as  in  the  case  of  the  more  virile.  While  not 
a   single   mildly  virile   man   would   ever   succumb  to 


Anaphrodites.  13 

androgyne  allurements,  I  have  ascertained  through 
many  years'  association  with  thousands  of  tremen- 
dously or  ultra-virile  that  at  least  seventy-five  per  cent 
readily  suffer  capture  providing  their  sexual  needs 
are  not  already  abundantly  gratified.  The  chief 
reason  for  the  bitter  antagonism  of  the  mildly  virile 
is  that  they  know  androgynism  only  by  hearsay. 
They  have  not,  like  the  more  virile — to  whom  alone 
androgynes  gravitate — been  eye-witnesses  of  the  en- 
tirely innocent,  innocuous,  and  even  pitiable  sexuality 
of  these  pseudo-men. 

The  mildly  virile,  constituting  the  vast  majority 
of  all  males  in  "Christian"  countries,  seek  to  impose 
the  dictates  of  their  own  sexual  natures  upon  all  men 
whatsoever.  The  sexual  mandates  of  "Christian" 
society  and  of  the  New  Testament  express  the  sex 
feelings  in  part  of  the  mildly  virile,  and  in  part  of  the 
anaphrodites.  Whatever  harmonizes  with  these  feel- 
ings is  right;  whatever  fails  to,  is  "bestial." 

The  mildly  virile  are  inclined  toward  the  less 
strenuous  occupations,  as  agriculture,  manufacturing, 
and  trade.  They  also  include  ninety-five  per  cent  of 
intellectuals. 

(4)  The  cold  Anaphrodites  are  the  particles 
that  cling  immovably  to  the  banks  of  the  masculine 
river.1  They  neither  progress  nor  regress.  They 
number  about  one-half  of  one  per  cent  of  all  adult 
males.  Like  the  ultra-androgynes,  they  have  a  horror 
of  women  from  the  sex  point  of  view.    But  unlike  the 

1  Do  not  confuse  with  anaphrodites  the  excessively  rare 
men  who  are  attracted  by  female  beauty  and  manners,  marry, 
but  then  desire  merely  Platonic  relations.  Such  are  rather 
cases  of  impotence.  The  genuine  anaphrodite  never  even  courts 
a  woman. 


14  St.  Paul's  Sex  Teachings. 

former,  their  minds  are  devoid  of  hero-worship  and 
they  shudder  violently  at  the  very  thought  of  any  kind 
of  association  grounded  on  sex  differences.  Their 
anaphroditism  is  either  an  after-effect  of  an  illness  in 
childhood  or  congenital. 

For  the  most  part,  anaphrodites  are  intellectuals. 
The  exquisite  joys  associated  with  courtship  and 
marriage  that  they  are  predestined  never  to  know  are 
more  than  compensated  by  Providence  in  the  way  of 
extra  allotment  of  intellectual  enjoyment.  Herbert 
Spencer  is  the  shining  example  of  anaphroditism  of 
the  nineteenth  century.1 

Since  anaphrodites  are  not  suffused  with  ador- 
ation for  any  type  of  human,  the  vast  majority  are  the 
more  inclined  to  lift  their  thoughts  to  their  Creator. 
Some  great  religious  leaders  have  been  anaphrodites. 
St.  Paul,  in  his  epistles,  shows  little  patience  even  with 
normal  sex  phenomena.  He  advises  that  every  man 
imitate  his  own  absolute  celibacy.  "But  if  they  can 
not  contain,  let  them  marry.  For  it  is  better  to  marry 
than  to  burn  [to  lust]." 

It  is  impossible  for  the  tremendously  or  the  ultra- 
sexed  to  live  up  to  the  sexual  ideals  of  an  anaphrodite. 
And  yet  St.  Paul's  epistles  bind  them  upon  Christians. 
It  is  infinitely  easier  for  an  anaphrodite  to  be  a  saint 
than  for  the  ultra-virile  to  be  even  decent.  St.  Paul's 
sex  teachings  constitute  the  greatest  stumbling  block 
of  the  church.      They  have  caused  the  human  race  a 

1  The  author  has  always  preferred  to  read  biography  to 
fiction.  If  his  life  is  spared,  he  will  write  an  extensive  work  on 
the  sexuality  of  noted  men  and  women.  An  unusually  large 
proportion  of  geniuses  have  been  either  anaphrodites  or  andro- 
gynes. For  example,  Sir  Isaac  Newton  and  Immanuel  Kant 
appear  to  have  been  anaphrodites. 


Androgynes.  15 

world  of  woe.  Belief  in  St.  Paul's  inerrancy  makes  it 
impossible  to  reconcile  Christian  ethics  with  the 
incontrovertible  teachings  of  Nature.  While,  in 
respect  to  value  to  the  human  race,  I  give  St.  Paul's 
epistles  first  place  among  all  published  documents  (the 
woe  they  have  occasioned  being,  a  thousand  times  over, 
outweighed  by  the  light  they  have  given  man  on  the 
greatest  questions  that  puzzle  his  brain)  I  must,  par- 
ticularly because  of  their  false  sex  doctrines,  deny 
their  inerrancy.  If  inerrant,  the  human  race  ought 
to  have  ceased  existence  eighteen  hundred  years  ago. 

Jesus  made  no  such  blunders  in  his  sex  teaching. 
He  was  the  only  biblical  teacher  apparently  to  recog- 
nize the  existence  of  androgynes  without  thundering 
against  them.  As  "eunuchs  from  their  mother's 
womb,"  he  may  of  course  have  had  in  mind  only 
anaphrodites.  But  apparently  he  was  aware  of  the 
existence  of  androgynes,  St.  John  the  Divine, 
apparently  his  favorite  disciple,  having  possessed  the 
earmarks,  particularly  "softness"  of  disposition. 

(5)  Androgynes  are  the  eddies  along  the  banks  of 
the  masculine  river.  Their  movement  is  retrograde. 
They  are  instances  of  arrest  of  development.  In  the 
early  f cetus  sex  is  not  apparent.  Only  later  does  differ- 
entiation begin.  In  more  than  ninety-nine  out  of  a 
hundred  humans,  it  is  completed  at  puberty.  But 
the  individual  androgyne  or  gynander  remains,  down 
to  death,  to  a  greater  or  less  degree  bisexual.  Just  as 
a  mule  is  part  horse  and  part  donkey,  so  an  androgyne 
or  gynander  is  part  man  and  part  woman.  To  quote 
from  Krafft  Ebing:  "They  [androgynes]  are  neither 
man  nor  woman:  a  mixture  of  both;  with  secondary 


16  Acquired  or  Congenital? 

psychic  and  physical  characteristics  of  the  one  as  well 
as  the  other  sex."1 

Androgynes  tend  to  occupations  having  to  do  with 

1  I  take  no  stock  in  the  theory  advanced  by  some  medical 
writers  that  androgynism  (generally  termed  male  sexual  inver- 
sion) is  acquired  and  not  congenital.  The  exceptional  method 
of  sexual  expression  can  be  acquired  only  by  individuals  con- 
genially on  the  very  borderline  between  androgynes  on  the  one 
hand  and  anaphrodites  or  mildly  virile  on  the  other.  The  latest 
proponent  of  the  "acquired"  theory,  Dr.  P.  M.  Lichtenstein,  in 
the  August,  1921,  issue  of  MEDICAL  REVIEW  OF  REVIEWS, 
suggests  that  masturbation  in  boyhood  may  produce  in  adult- 
hood a  fairie  or  ultra-androgyne.  In  my  physical  prime,  I  was 
a  fairie  of  extreme  type.  I  never  masturbated  as  a  child  or  as 
an  adult  because  of  acute  horror.  My  own  pudenda  never  had 
any  part  in  my  sexual  ardor — any  more  than  had  my  vermiform 
appendix. 

Dr.  Lichtenstein's  suggestion  of  the  correction  by  parents 
of  feminine  predilections  in  small  boys  is  futile.  Those  femin- 
esque  traits,  when  congenital,  as  I  believe  they  always  are  in 
ultra-androgynes,  can  not  be  suppressed.  Likewise  his  advice 
that  the  adolescent  girl-boy  seek  the  company  of  the  gentle  sex 
as  a  cure  is  as  futile.  In  my  teens,  I  forced  myself  to  it,  but  it 
had  not  the  least  curative  value. 

Note  Added  in  Galley:  I  just  came  across  a  scrap  of  a 
recent  NEW  YORK  WORLD  Sunday  magazine,  containing 
"Glands  That  Govern  Our  Lives",  name  of  author  missing.  I 
quote:  "The  not  uncommon  phenomena  of  the  smooth-faced 
man  with  a  feminine  voice  and  a  figure  resembling  that  of  a 
woman,  and  of  the  deep-voiced,  hairy-faced  masculine  woman, 
are  produced  by  abnormalities  in  the  development  of  these 
glands."  Only  in  the  third  decade  of  the  twentieth  century  is 
the  comparatively  new  branch  of  medical  science,  endocrinology 
(the  study  of  glands,  particularly  the  ductless)  coming  forward 
to  maintain  the  irresponsibility  of  "homosexualists"  for  their 
indiosyncrasy.  It  has  also  only  just  been  brought  into  the  lime- 
light that  the  testicles  are  invigorating  (as  well  as  masculiniz- 
ing) to  the  individual  possessing  them  and  the  prime  reason 
for  man's  being  physically  stronger  than  woman.  I  myself, 
for  several  years  after  castration  at  the  age  of  twenty-seven, 
observed  a  marked  diminution  in  mv  stamina.  (For  details, 
see  my  AUTOBIOGRAPHY  OF  AN  ANDROGYNE.)  My  own 
testicles  were  abnormal  judged  by  the  fact  that  I,  though  al- 
ways having  intense  horror  of  self-manustupration,  suffered 
from  acute  spermatorrhea  from  the  incidence  of  puberty  up  to 
castration,  while  I  was  totally  devoid  of  the  propensity  natural 
to  full-fledged  adult  males  for  emptying  the  seminal  vesicles. 


Androgynes  Are  Aesthetes.  17 

art — in  the  widest  sense  of  that  word.  They  are  ex- 
treme aesthetes.  I  quote  from  Edward  Carpenter's 
Love's  Coming-of-Age  (published  by  Boni  and  Live- 
right)  page  135,  where  he  speaks  of  male  urnings, 
called  by  myself  "androgynes":  "At  the  bot- 
tom lies  the  artist-nature,  with  the  artist's  sensibility 
and  perception.  Such  a  one  is  often  a  dreamer,  of 
brooding  reserved  habits,  often  a  musician,  or  a  man 
of  culture, ....  almost  always  with  a  peculiar  inborn 
refinement.  De  Joux ....  says .  .  .  .  :  'They  are  enthusi- 
astic for  poetry  and  music,  are  often  eminently  skilful 
in  the  fine  arts,  and  are  overcome  with  emotion  and 
sympathy  at  the  least  sad  occurrence ....  The  nerve 
system  of  many  an  urning  is  the  finest  and  the  most 
complicated  musical  instrument  in  the  service  of  the 
interior  personality  that  can  be  imagined.'  "  (R.  Ws 
comment:  An  androgyne  is  usually  a  bundle  of 
nerves.) 

In  my  university  course  in  aesthetics,  the  pro- 
fessor lamented  that  art  tends  to  make  its  devotees 
immoral.  He  probably  had  in  mind  the  notorious 
frequency  of  homosexuality  among  aesthetes.  But 
he  got  the  cart  before  the  horse.  The  aesthetes  affect- 
ed were  born  bisexual  and  their  devotion  to  art  was  a 
consequence. 

Androgynes  are  clearly  of  two  types,  each  of 
which,  the  author  estimates,  constitutes  in  the  United 
States  about  one  out  of  every  three  hundred  humans 
possessing  the  male  primary  determinants:1     (a)  The 

1  Other  authorities  make  them  more  numerous.  I  quote 
from  Love's  Coming  of  Age,  page  125:  "Dr.  Grabowsky.  .  .  . 
quotes  figures.... as  high  as  one  man  in  every  22,  while  Dr. 
Albert  Moll  (Die  Contraere  Sexual-Empfindung,  chapter  3) 
gives  estimates  varying  from  one  in  every  50  to  as  low  as  one 


18  The  Mildly  Androgynous. 

mildly  androgynous,  of  whom  Oscar  Wilde  is  the  best 
known  of  contemporaries;  and  (b)  the  ultra-andro- 
gynous, of  whom  the  present  writer  is  the  most  widely 
known  of  his  generation. 

(a)  The  anatomy  of  the  mildly  androgynous  is 
not  conspicuously  feminine.  Only  a  few  feminine 
traits  appear  in  the  psyche.  The  mildly  androgynous 
always  mingle  with  full-fledged  males  and  seek  to  pass 
as  such  themselves.  As  a  cloak,  they  are  prone  to 
fabricate  about  excesses  cum  femina.  But  while  se- 
cretly preferring  homosexual  romance,  they  are  cap- 
able of  espousing  a  woman  and  begetting  children. 

in  every  500.  These  figures  apply  to  such  as  are  exclusively 
of  the  said  nature  [excluding  the  psychic  hermaphrodites.  In- 
cluding the  latter]  the  estimates  must  be  greatly  higher.... 
Some  late  statistical  inquiries  (See  Statistische  Untersuchungen, 
Dr.  M.  Hirschfeld,  Leipzig,  1904)  yield  1.5  to  2  per  cent  as  a 
probable  ratio." 

I  myself  have  fixed  upon  the  median  of  ratios  I  have  read, 
as  well  as  the  frequency  that  has  occurred  to  me  as  a  result 
of  a  half-century's  unusually  intimate  mingling  with  all  social 
types  in  many  nations,  having  possessed,  at  the  time  I  lived 
in  the  foreign  nations,  some  speaking  ability  in  seven  foreign 
languages.  But  the  frequency  is  greater  than  I  have  given  in 
the  text  rather  than  less.  But  the  extreme  German  estimates 
are  too  high  for  the  United  States.  It  is  my  conclusion  from 
intimate  intercourse  with  the  natives  in  many  countries  that 
the  frequency  of  bisexuality  per  thousand  is  proportional  to 
the  density  of  population.  Nature  puts  a  break  on  over-popu- 
lation by  increasing  the  proportion  of  sterile  bisexuals.  When 
a  population  is  regularly  underfed,  the  number  of  bisexuals 
born  appears  to  increase.  But  that  is  not  the  only  factor.  An- 
other law  is  that  when  a  consanguineous  multifamily  (a  group 
of  families)  multiplies  with  exceptional  rapidity,  bisexuals  are 
born  in  that  family  even  though  the  food  supply  is  undiminished. 
The  author  believes  the  latter  to  be  the  reason  he  himself  was 
born  bisexual.  It  was  because  the  generic  womb  (i.  e.,  those 
of  my  grandmothers  for  several  generations)  had  been  over- 
taxed. 

The  ratio  is  probably  much  higher  among  the  cultured — 
particularly  art  devotees — than  among  the  "hoi  polloi." 


The  Ultra- Androgynous.  19 

Sexologists  have  therefore  called  them  "psychic  herm- 
aphrodites." 

(b)  In  ultra-androgynes  alone,  the  physique  is 
noticeably  feminesque,  and  the  psyche  predominantly 
feminine.  As  a  rule,  they  alone  have  a  craze  to  dec- 
orate themselves  in  feminine  finery  and  spread  paint 
and  powder  on  their  faces.  They  tend  to  avoid  the 
society  of  full-fledged  males  except  to  display  to  a 
tremendously  virile  coterie — to  whom  they  are  gen- 
erally incognito — their  skill  in  female-impersonation. 

Unless  otherwise  indicated  I  shall  use  the  terms 
"androgyne"  and  "pseudo-man"  only  in  reference  to 
the  ultra-androgynous.  All  my  androgyne  associates 
whom  I  shall  portray  in  this  book  belong  to  this  class, 
because  with  a  few  exceptions  they  alone  are  Female- 
Impersonators.  In  my  Riddle  of  the  Underworld 
I  describe  some  mild  androgynes. 

There  exists  vast  diversity  in  the  anatomy  and 
psyche  of  androgynes — just  as,  from  the  standpoint 
of  size  and  shape  of  the  genitalia  and  sexual  tastes,  any 
two  full-fledged  males  or  any  two  full-fledged  females 
differ  more  or  less.  In  one  androgyne,  the  only 
conspicuous  external  feminine  stigma  may  be  absence 
of  beardal  growth;  in  another,  mammary  glands;  in 
another,  the  complete  skeleton  or  the  complete  mus- 
cular system  of  the  female.  The  one  physical  fem- 
inine stigma  that  is  indispensable  to  the  possession  of 
a  decidedly  feminine  psyche  and  the  quasi-female 
method  of  sexual  expression  is  the  female  variety  of 
brain  protoplasm.  For  there  have  probably  lived 
naturally  beardless  men,  males  possessing  milk  glands 
or  sissie  voices,  etc.,  who  have  nevertheless  not  been  at 
all  homosexual.     But  such  are  exceptions  to  the  rule. 


20  A  Medical  Superstition. 

While  an  earmark  of  ultra-androgynism  is  sexual 
passivity,  the  mildly  androgynous  may  be  active  ped- 
erasts or  mutual  onanists.  Only  in  the  case  of  ultra- 
androgynes  are  the  individual's  genitalia  entirely 
divorced — as  a  rule — from  the  sexual  life.  For  them, 
Nature  has  substituted  other  organs. 

Ultra-androgynes  are,  by  birth,  practically  iden- 
tical with  males  castrated  in  early  childhood,  except 
that  adult  artificial  eunuchs  are  usually  overlarge. 
Adult  ultra-androgynes  tend  merely  to  plumpness  as 
a  result  of  their  dwarfed  genitalia. 

I  have  heard  of  ultra-androgynes,  who,  in  their 
early  twenties,  on  their  physician's  advice,  married  a 
woman,  when  Nature  intended  they  should  marry  a 
man.  All  high-minded  "homosexualists,"  soon  after 
arrival  at  puberty,  consult  a  medical  man  for  a  cure. 
From  time  immemorial  it  has  been  one  of  the  pro- 
fession's superstitions  that  marriage  would  cure 
homosexual  tendencies.  Some  unsophisticated  ad- 
olescent androgynes  put  faith  in  their  physician's 
positive  assurance  that  marriage  is  a  sure  cure.  If, 
as  a  matter  of  conscience  alone,  the  androgyne  prom- 
ises the  physician  to  marry,  he  sometimes  goes  insane 
over  the  dread  of  it,  or  else  commits  suicide,  either  on 
the  eve  of  marriage,  or  a  few  days  afterward.  But  even 
if  the  marriage  ceremony  is  performed,  the  consumma- 
tion never  takes  place  in  the  case  of  ultra-androgynes, 
and  the  wedded  state  proves  very  unhappy  for  both 
parties.  At  least  in  the  case  of  the  ultra-androgynes, 
such  marriage  possesses  no  curative  value.  Chronic 
and  extreme  homosexuality  is  congenital  and  incurable. 
It  is  monstrous  to  advise  even  a  mild  androgyne  to 
marry,  and  thus  contribute  to  propagating  a  line  of 


Hermaphrodites.  21 

unhappy  and  unwelcome  bisexuals  down  through  the 
centuries. 

The  two  classes  of  androgynes  do  not  mix  well. 
Just  as  the  full-fledged  man  is  averse  to  attendance  at 
a  ladies'  sewing-circle.  Particularly  the  mildly  an- 
drogynous fear  suspicion  of  their  secret  if  they  asso- 
ciated with  ultra-androgynes.  Coteries  of  ultra-an- 
drogynes naturally  form.  Knowing  their  own  nature, 
they  readily  recognize  one  another,  although  down  to 
1921  at  least,  the  sexually  full-fledged  have  usually 
been  blind  to  the  androgynism  of  daily  associates,  be- 
cause  never   permitted   to   learn   of   their   existence. 

(6)  Pseudo-Hermaphrodites  are  humans  pos- 
sessing in  part  both  the  male  and  the  female  genitalia, 
or  else  organs  so  deformed  that  even  sexologists  are 
unable  to  determine  the  sex  until  puberty.  In  half 
such  cases,  the  physician  then  pronounces  the  individ- 
ual to  belong  to  the  sex  other  than  that  with  which  he 
or  she  has  identified  him  or  herself.  As  a  rule,  they 
subsequently  live  and  clothe  themselves  per  prescrip- 
tion. But  some,  accustomed  to  the  dress  and  usages 
of  their  first  sex,  choose  to  identify  themselves  with 
it  throughout  life. 

Pseudo-hermaphrodites  are  the  limit  toward 
which  the  ultra-androgynous  approach  by  slight  gra- 
dations. Their  frequency  is  not  greater  than  one  in 
a  million  to  ten  million  humans. 

(7)  Full  Human  Hermaphrodites — possessing 
both  complete  male  and  complete  female  genitalia — 
have  never  been  encountered.  There  exists  in  medical 
annals,  however,  a  pseudo-hermaphrodite  who  so  near- 
ly approached  full  hermaphrodism  that  at  one  period 
he-she  claimed  to  have  lived  as  husband  and  father, 


22  The  Sex  Scale. 

and  at  a  later,  as  wife  and  mother.  This  reputed  trans- 
position is  in  accord  with  the  observed  phenomenon1 
of  an  individual's  passing  over  from  one  sex  class  to 
another  at  the  climacteric  corresponding  to  menopause 
in  woman. 

*  *  *  *  *  *  * 

I  have  a  theory  that  the  sex  class  of  an  individual 
male  depends  on  the  size,  but  particularly  the  vigor, 
of  his  physical  reproductive  apparatus.  I  have  ascer- 
tained such  variety  to  be  practically  infinite,  and 
psychicly  as  well  as  physically. 

There  exist  no  sharp  dividing  lines  among  the 
six  classes  of  males.  While  the  bulk  of  a  particular 
class  correspond  closely  to  the  description,  there  are 
individuals  on  each  side  of  such  mode  who  constitute 
slight  gradations  over  to  the  next  class.  Thus  each 
class  gradually  and  almost  imperceptibly  shades  off 
into  the  next.  There  exists  indeed  a  sex  scale  along 
which  all  human  beings  can  be  theoretically  arranged. 
At  one  pole  stands  the  tremendously  virile  man — for 
example,  the  rough  volunteer  common  soldier,  as  a  rule 
intensely  polygamous;  at  the  other  the  petite,  cry- 
baby species  of  woman.  Androgynes  and  gynanders 
occupy  exactly  the  middle  section,  looking  toward  both 
the  male  and  the  female  side. 

It  is  quasi-instinctive  with  each  sex  class  to  scorn 
members  of  another  class  just  because  they  happen  to 
be  built  on  a  different  plan.  It  is  the  same  phenome- 
non prevalent  in  the  religious  domain  in  past  centur- 
ies, when  the  Roman  Catholic  yearned  to  murder  the 
Protestant  and   vice   versa.      Which   intolerance  the 

i  See  later  chapter:   THOUGHTS   SUGGESTED   BY   THE 
HERMAPHRODITOI  IN  GENERAL. 


Sex  Animosity.  23 

gradual  conquest  of  human  affairs  by  reason  is  push- 
ing further  and  further  into  the  background.  But 
still  in  the  twentieth  century,  reason  is  a  nonentity  in 
the  domain  of  sex.  There  all  is  illogical  instinct  and 
bigotry.  Each  sex  class  still  revels  in  calling  the 
others  bad  names.  The  tremendously  virile  "fellow" 
bellows  out  at  the  mildly :  "You  milk-sop!"  The  latter 
calls  back:  "You  rake!"  The  ultra-virile  hisses 
through  his  teeth  at  the  anaphrodite:  "You  dried 
tree!"  The  mildly  virile  points  his  finger  at  the 
androgyne :  "Unclean !  Unclean  !  Child  of  the  devil ! 
Monster!"  And  even  if  I  do  not  say  so  here,  the 
reader  will  conclude  after  finishing  this  book:  The 
androgyne  calls  back  at  the  mildly  virile :  "You  hypo- 
crite !  You  Pharisee !"  For  the  outstanding  earmark 
of  the  mildly  virile  is  Phariseeism.  They  think  they 
themselves  are  the  only  moral  and  God-fearing  men 
in  the  world,  and  that  all  other  men  are  sexually  vile. 

Is  it  right  to  chastise  a  horse  because  he  prefers 
to  munch  hay  out  of  a  manger  instead  of  walking  into 
his  owner's  dining-room ;  throwing  himself  backwards 
into  an  enormous  chair;  squeezing  with  difficulty  a 
spoon  between  his  two  front  hoofs ;  and  with  it  carry- 
ing to  his  mouth  ice-cream  and  French  pastry?  The 
average  man  (who  is  of  the  mildly  virile  type)  says 
that  the  latter  is,  for  every  creature,  the  superior 
method  of  taking  nourishment,  and  insists  on  all 
others  conforming  to  what  is  right  in  his  own  eyes. 
If  they  do  not,  he  ostracizes  and  even  imprisons  and 
murders  those  who  dare  to  offend  his  aesthetic  sense. 

In  general,  man  is  a  free  agent.  But  his  sex  class 
is  imposed  by  Providence.  Just  as  he  is  not  responsi- 
ble for  the  face  he  has  to  carry  through  life. 


24  Poultry  Bisexuality. 

Why  should  not  every  human  be  at  liberty  to  live 
out  his  life  in  the  way  Nature  ordains  for  him  so  far  as 
he  does  not  thereby  transgress  against  any  one  else?1 

1  Bisexuality  occurs  also  in  animals  and  birds,  but  far  less 
frequently  than  among  humans.  Perhaps  this  difference  is  due 
to  the  fact  that  the  human  male  and  female  differ  much  less  in 
respect  to  secondary  sexual  determinants  than  do  most  birds  and 
animals.  Several  times  in  my  life  I  have  come  across  a  news- 
paper item  such  as  the  following.  I  inquired  of  a  poulterer,  who 
informed  me  that  he  has  had  numerous  hens  that  crowed  and 
possessed  secondary  male  determinants. 

CROWS  AND  LAYS  EGG.  IS  IT  COCK  OR  HEN? 

Copyright  by  Press  Publishing  Co.  (NEW  YORK  WORLD),  1921 

(Special  cable  despatch  to  the  WORLD) 

LONDON,  Dec.  9. — A  Buff  Orpington  cock  at  a  poultry 
show  in  the  agricultural  hall  at  Islington  has  laid  an  egg.  This 
bird  began  its  career  with  all  the  attributes  of  a  sure-enough 
hen.  It  laid  eggs  and  cackled  over  them  in  time-honored  fash- 
ion.    Its  head,  plumage,  and  habits  were  all  hen-like. 

As  it  grew,  its  conformation  underwent  a  subtle  change. 
It  began  to  grow  a  cock's  comb,  sprouted  a  cock's  tail,  developed 
spurs  and  crowed  on  appropriate  occasions — but  continued  to 
lay  eggs.  When  its  owner  exhibited  it  as  a  "cock-hen"  and 
claimed  despite  its  male  affiliation,  that  it  produced  eggs,  all 
the  poultry  fanciers  derisively  nicknamed  it  "Bluff  Orpington." 

One  doubter  offered  to  pay  one  hundred  pounds  if  the  bird 
laid  an  egg.  It  was  watched  day  and  night  for  the  coming  of 
the  marvel,  and  yesterday  duly  presented  its  watchers  with  an 
excellent  egg Physiologists  are  dumbfounded 


The  Third  Sex.  25 


III.     Androgynes  of  Mythology  and  History. 

APOLLO  is  the  pre-eminent  androgyne  god.  He 
was  always  represented  with  a  feminine  face  and 
coiffure,  and  therefore  worshipped  as  the  god  of 
beauty. 

In  conformity  with  his  semi-femininity,  he  was 
the  life-giving  and  light-giving  deity — both  physical 
and  figurative  life  and  light.  He  was  the  leader  of 
the  muses — the  spirits  presiding  over  all  human  in- 
spiration in  the  fine  arts. 

The  artistic  instinct — the  poetic  temperament, 
"sentimentality"  in  its  highest  sense — goes  hand  in 
hand  with  a  rounding-off  of  the  sharp  corners  of  mas- 
culinity. Artistic  or  poetic  decades  have  been  con- 
spicuous because  of  a  semi-slumbering  of  fundamental 
masculine  traits,  that  is,  the  instinctive  relish  for 
wrangling  and  war.  The  sterner  sex  has  temporarily 
laid  aside  its  primal  fighting  function  ordained  by 
Nature  and  become  to  some  degree  effeminate. 

As  a  rule,  abstract  beauty's  devotees — "aesthetes" 
in  the  highest  sense,  that  is:  poets,  novelists,  painters, 
sculptors,  and  superior  musicians — have  been  char- 
acterized by  more  or  less  effeminacy.  They  have  been 
particularly  prone  to  homosexuality.  While  among 
full-fledged  males,  the  proportion  that  has  achieved 
proficiency  in  one  of  the  fine  arts  is  something  like  one 
in  a  thousand,  among  androgynes  (the  two  varieties 
combined),  it  has  been  one  in  about  twenty.  I  will 
later  point  out  that  the  pinnacle  in  poetry,  sculpture, 
and  painting  has  been  achieved  by  androgynes. 


26  Apollo. 

But  the  feminesque  Apollo  was  the  god  not  only 
of  beauty,  but  of  adolescence — the  period  of  life  dur- 
ing which  human  beauty  is  at  its  culmination.  He 
possessed  eternal  youth.  He  is  even  referred  to  as 
"the  boy  god."  Adoration  of  him  sprang  out  of  man's 
delight  in  the  semi-womansouled  and  quasi-woman- 
bodied  stripling  just  before  arrival  at  puberty. 

And  ultra-androgynes  remain — to  a  large  extent 
— in  that  pre-puberty  period  down  to  thirty-five. 
Their  development  has  been  arrested.  Full-fledged 
male  associates  absolutely  ignorant  of  the  existence 
of  androgynism  have  described — in  the  author's  hear- 
ing— androgynes  even  close  to  fifty  years  old  as  "still 
mere  boys." 

But  an  adolescent  androgyne  or  boy  god  was  also 
worshipped  by  the  Semite  nations  (other  than  the 
Jews)  under  the  name  Ablu,  and  by  the  Celts  under 
the  name  Maponus. 

Philologists  will  recognize  that  "Apollo,"  "Ablu," 
"Maponus,"  and  "boy"  are  descended  from  the  same 
vocable  in  the  language  used  by  the  Asiatic  tribe  from 
which  most  of  the  civilized  nations  of  the  ancient  and 
modern  world  derive.  B  is  only  a  strengthened  p ;  the 
liquid  I  has  often  been  transmuted  into  the  kindred  n ; 
and  the  diphthong  oij  indicates  the  elision  of  a  liquid. 
We  have  here  etymological  evidence  that  an  adoles- 
cent-androgyne deity  was  worshipped  before  the  dawn 
of  history. 

To-day,  among  some  primitive  races,  as  the 
aborigines  of  America,  androgynes  are  the  central  fea- 
ture of  the  most  sacred  rites. 


Hermaphroditos  and  Ganymede.  27 

Hermaphroditos  stands  secona  among  androgyne 
gods.  The  myth  is  that  "he-she"  was  originally  a  full- 
fledged  human  adolescent  and  an  entirely  separate 
nymph  in  the  full  flower  of  feminine  charm.  The 
nymph,  falling  in  love,  besought  Zeus  that  the  adoles- 
cent and  herself  might  be  forever  amalgamated.  Ex- 
cepting the  pudenda,  the  body  remained  that  of  the 
nymph.  The  psyche  became  a  compound  of  the  mas- 
culine and  the  feminine.  This  myth  was  a  poetic 
recognition  of  the  existence,  at  the  very  dawn  of  his- 
tory, of  androgynes  such  as  exist  to-day. 

A  picture  or  statue  of  Hermaphroditos  adorned 
nearly  every  Greek  and  Roman  home  of  the  better 
class.  This  was  because  the  ancients  held  the  andro- 
gyne in  honor  as  the  super-human — man  and  woman  in 
one  individual. 

Ganymede  ranks  third.1  Originally  a  human  ado- 
lescent of  extraordinary  feminesque  beauty,  Zeus 
snatched  him  up  into  the  heavenly  zone  and  conferred 
immortality  that  the  feminesque  youth  might  be  his 
cup-bearer.  The  latter's  statues  represent  him  with 
a  mademoiselle's  chevelure,  hips,  and  legs,  but  with 
male  breasts  and  pudenda.  The  fact  that  the  father- 
god  of  the  classic  world  entered  into  this  most  intimate 

1  "Catamite"  is  the  Latin,  as  well  as  modern,  corruption  of 
the  vocable  "Ganymede."  For  the  relation  between  Jupiter  and 
Ganymede,  see  Dr.  Wm.  Lee  Howard's  Pederasty  vs.  Prostitu- 
tion in  Journal  of  the  American  Medical  Association,  May  15, 
1897.  Also  Plato's  Phaedo.  Greek  literature  in  general  is  suf- 
fused with  pederasty.  I  read  Greek  six  years  in  "prep"  and 
university.  My  observation  is  that  androgyne  scholars  have 
a  penchant  for  that  language  and  drift  into  teaching  it.  Prior 
to  the  twentieth  century,  the  Greek  and  Latin  masterpieces — in 
all  "preps"  and  colleges  read  unexpurgated  because  the  sexually 
full-fledged  have  not  generally  understood  the  homosexual  de- 
scriptions— were  the  only  publications  affording  androgynes  an 
inkling  of  the  secrets  of  their  sex  life. 


28  Socrates. 

union  partly  explains  why  the  androgyne  was  held  in 
honor  by  the  Greeks  and  Romans. 

Socrates  is  the  earliest  historic  character  whom 
sexologists  have  declared  an  androgyne.  For  centur- 
ies, a  common  designation  of  male  homosexuality  has 
been  "Socratic  love."  In  Plato's  "Dialogues,"  Socrates 
is  the  teacher.  His  remarks  of  extreme  affection  to  his 
youthful  disciples  are  sickening  even  to  me,  though  an 
androgyne  myself.  Present-day  scholars  who  close 
their  eyes  to  the  facts  of  androgynism,  who  cling  to 
mediaeval  sex  ideas,  and  hence  hold  homosexuality  to 
result  from  deep-eyed  moral  depravity,  have  denounced 
Socrates  as  the  greatest  moral  leper  that  ever  lived. 
But  from  Socrates'  own  generation  down  through  the 
nineteenth  century,  he  was  universally  recognized  as 
the  greatest  saint  of  the  classic  world. 

That  Socrates  was  a  married  man  and  father  and 
wore  a  beard  does  not  disprove  the  sexologists'  claim. 
The  mildly  androgynous — psychic  hermaphrodites, 
like  Oscar  Wilde — occasionally  marry  and  procreate; 
chiefly  for  social  reasons,  not  from  the  sexual  incen- 
tive. Secondly,  the  razor  was  practically  unknown  in 
Socrates'  generation.  Even  to-day,  some  of  the  less 
extreme  androgynes  wear  a  full  beard  because  of  hor- 
ror of  a  razor. 

One  of  the  three  charges  on  which  Socrates  was 
condemned  to  death  was  that  he  was  "a  corrupter  of 
youth ;"  the  identic  charge  that  landed  Oscar  Wilde  in 
prison.  But  neither  of  these  geniuses  ever  corrupted 
any  youth.  The  prevalent  idea  that  the  association  of 
an  older  androgyne  with  a  sexually  full-fledged  young- 
er man  corrupts  the  latter  is  absolutely  groundless. 
The  androgyne  only  benefits,  in  several  ways,  the  ado- 


Plato.  29 

lescent  whom  he  loves  far  more  than  a  father  loves 
an  only  son.  Socrates'  two  most  brilliant  disciples, 
Plato  and  Xenophon,  wrote  books,  still  extant,  one  of 
the  purposes  of  which  was  defence  of  Socrates  from 
the  charge  mentioned. 

Plato,  the  St.  Paul  of  the  pagan  classic  world — as 
was  its  Jesus  (Socrates) — was  an  androgyne.  His 
voluminous  "Dialogues" — one  of  the  world's  two  score 
of  literary  masterpieces — are  permeated  with  homo- 
sexuality. In  the  Symposium,  Plato  confesses  himself 
a  homosexualist.  In  his  day,  homosexuality  was  not 
regarded  a  disgrace  any  more  than  heterosexuality. 
The  charge  against  Socrates  was  largely  a  pretext,  the 
politicians  having  to  give  some  plausible  reason  for 
ridding  themselves  of  him. 

Plato's  falsetto  voice — a  common  characteristic  of 
androgynes — is  commented  on  in  writings  of  his  day 
still  extant.      He  never  married  nor  procreated. 

Alexander  the  Great  has  been  adjudged  by  sex- 
ologists an  androgyne  of  the  mild  type.  He  was  the 
first  prominent  Greek  to  dispense  with  hirsute  decora- 
tions. The  probability  is  that  he  was  naturally  beard- 
less. But  in  imitation  of  the  genius  and  leader  of 
their  generation,  all  the  men  who  wished  to  be  some- 
body started  to  shave  clean.  Knowledge  of  the  razor 
first  became  common  in  Greece  because  Alexander  the 
Great  happened  to  be  congenitally  beardless! 

As  a  monarch,  Alexander  was  compelled  to 
espouse  a  woman.  But  he  spent  nearly  all  his  married 
life  absent  from  his  legal  spouse,  and  was  incapable  of 
procreation.  All  the  evidence  is  that  his  real  soul- 
mate  was  a  young  warrior  of  his  entourage.  The  two 
were   inseparable.      His   strange  affection  for  other 


30  Alexander  the  Great. 

young  men  of  his  entourage  is  remarked  by  contem- 
poraries. He  bewailed  the  death  of  favorites  in  battle 
as  only  a  wife  can  mourn  a  husband. 

Androgynes,  because  they  possess  the  feminine 
psyche  in  greater  or  less  degree,  are  generally  very 
much  opposed  to  war.  But  it  is  possible  for  a  less 
extreme  androgyne — of  the  psychic  hermaphrodite 
type — to  be  a  great  general  when  the  leadership  of 
armies  is  thrust  upon  him.  Genius  occurs  far  oftener 
in  connection  with  androgynism  than  with  full-fledged 
masculinity.  The  rare  keenness  of  mind  of  an  andro- 
gyne like  Alexander  would  enable  him  to  plan  success- 
ful campaigns.  But  his  feminine  cowardice  would 
always  keep  him  far  from  the  battle-front,  where  there 
was  no  danger  of  a  hair  of  his  head  ever  being  touched. 
And  that  is  what  happened  with  Alexander.  Above 
all  things  else,  he  was  a  sybarite. 

Androgynes,  though  never  mixing  in  a  fight  them- 
selves, are  particularly  attracted  toward  the  war-loving 
"hero."  Much  more  than  half  of  my  own  associates 
during  my  female-impersonation  sprees  belonged  to 
a  profession  whose  object  was  to  kill  their  fellow  man. 
For  almost  twenty  years  of  my  "youngmanhood,"  I 
was  an  habitue  of  barracks,  etc.,  and  a  worshipper  of 
swords  and  rifles,  although  I  would  have  been  horrified 
if  required  to  take  them  into  my  own  hands.  I  have 
known  other  androgynes  whose  female-impersonation 
sprees  were  staged  before  professional  common  sold- 
iers. A  young  androgyne  acquaintance  actually  en- 
listed in  the  hospital  corps  in  the  war  with  Germany 
because  he  wished  to  be  surrounded  continually  with 
warriors — the  type  of  manhood  which  androgynes  in 
general   most   servilely  worship.      Walt  Whitman   is 


Julius  Csesar. 


31 


celebrated  for  his  work  among-  the  wounded  in  Amer- 
ica's War  of  the  Rebellion.  I  read  in  a  medical  jour- 
nal that  during  the  World  War,  a  problem  with  the 
Italian  army  heads  was  to  debar  androgynes,  who  were 
said  to  demoralize  the  army  because  of  their  cowardice 
and  seductive  influence  on  their  sexually  full-fledged 
comrades.  I  heard  of  an  androgyne  who  received  a 
dishonorable  discharge  from  the  American  conscript 
army  because  wrongly  judged  to  be  the  incarnation  of 
deepdyed  moral  depravity. 

Perhaps  the  reason  why  Alexander  and  the  next 
mild  androgyne  to  be  described  were  two  out  of  the 
three  greatest  generals  and  conquerors  of  history  was 
their  craze  to  pass  practically  all  their  adult  lives  sur- 
rounded by  warriors ! 


Alexander  the  Great 

(Ancient  Coin  J 


Julius  Caasar 

(Bust  in  Louvre) 


Julius  Caesar  has  been  adjudged  by  sexologists 
an  androgyne  of  the  mild  type.  He  married,  as  social 
custom  demanded  of  aristocratic  Romans,  but  spent 
nearly  all  his  wedded  life  absent  from  his  legal  spouse. 
His  offspring  is  said  to  have  consisted  only  of  a  single 
daughter.  History  says  he  had  a  son  by  Cleopatra. 
But  this  is  doubtful  because  that  queen  was  every 


32  Michelangelo. 

man's  wife.  But  even  if  Caesar  had  offspring,  he 
would  merely  be  proved  a  psychic  hermaphrodite. 

Caesar  was  always  clean-shaven,  if  not  naturally 
beardless.  He  even  had  his  body  depilated — as  is 
customary  to-day  with  "fairies."  Like  the  latter  also, 
he  was,  in  dress,  notoriously  fussy  and  feminine — in 
order  to  prove  attractive  to  his  lieutenants.  He  was 
an  instinctive  female-impersonator.  His  entourage 
were  accustomed  to  refer  to  him  as  "the  queen."  Of 
all  historic  characters,  Caesar  excels  in  respect  to  the 
sensational  stories  of  homosexual  excesses  found  in 
contemporary  authors  still  extant. 

Caesar  was  a  great  conqueror  merely  because  cir- 
cumstances, largely  beyond  his  control,  placed  him  at 
the  head  of  an  army.  As  in  the  case  of  Alexander, 
Caesar's  genius  enabled  him  to  plan  successful  cam- 
paigns. Others,  however,  had  to  expose  life  and  limb, 
while  he  kept  himself  safe  in  the  rear  passing  his  days 
and  nights  as  an  extreme  voluptuary. 

Michelangelo,  with  the  renaissance  of  civiliza- 
tion after  the  Dark  Ages,  heads  the  list  of  the  mildly 
androgynous.  He  never  married  or  was  known  to  have 
a  mistress.  He  left  behind  many  hitherto  unpublished 
homosexual  sonnets  of  such  merit  that  his  nephew- 
executor  gave  them  to  the  world  after  radical  expurga- 
tion. Angelo's  statues  and  paintings  are  pre-eminent 
in  their  consummate,  although  sensual,  outlines  of  the 
nude  adult  male,  the  principal  subject  of  his  art.  His 
statues  of  the  nude  youthful  Bacchus,  Cupid,  and 
David  of  his  middle  twenties  point  the  direction  of  his 
sexuality  .  Before  thirty  he  also  produced  the  picture, 
"The  Battle  of  Cascina,"  288  square  feet  crowded  with 


Raphael. 


33 


nude  male  figures.     His  favorite  Greek  sculpture  was 
a  statue  of  Hercules. 

Raphael  was  an  ultra-androgyne.  He  was  al- 
ways beardless  (probably  natural)  and  boylike  in  ap- 
pearance. Instead  of  choosing  a  Roman  mademoiselle 
to  be  mistress  of  his  mansion  in  the  then  most  aris- 
tocratic residence  district  of  the  world,  he  took  two 
young  men  to  live  with  him  as  "sons", — a  common 
practice  with  well-to-do  twentieth  century  androgynes. 


Raphael,  the  Most  Gifted  Ultra-Androgyne  the  World 
Has  Known 


The  Shakespeare-Author  was  an  androgyne. 
The  proof  lies  in  the  numerous  homosexual  passages 
of  his  sonnets.     The  authorship  of  the  Shakespeare 


34  The  Shakespeare- Author. 

literature  is  still  undetermined  after  close  to  three 
hundred  publications  on  this  question.  If  Providence 
grants  me  time,  I  will  finally  prove  beyond  the  shadow 
of  a  doubt,  by  the  homosexual  argument  original  with 
myself,  that  Francis  Bacon  was  the  Shakespeare- 
author.  I  give  below  an  outline  of  my  proposed 
thesis. 

The  young  actor,  Shakespeare,  was  a  tremendous- 
ly virile  male,  but  estranged  from  his  wife  and  living 
apart  during  most  of  his  married  life.  Bacon  was 
an  androgyne  several  years  older  than  Shakespeare. 
He  married  only  in  middle  life  and  solely  for 
money.  He  was  a  great  statesman,  but  sorely  in  need 
of  money  to  meet  his  extravagant  tastes.  Apparently 
he  was  incapable  of  procreation.  Both  men  lived  in 
London,  and  were  at  least  acquaintances,  during  the 
dozen  years  which  saw  the  creation  of  the  Shakespeare 
literature. 

Bacon  was  the  foremost  scholar  and  one  of  the 
foremost  statesmen  of  his  generation.  He  and  the 
Shakespeare-author  are  recognized  to-day  as  two  out 
of  the  three  greatest  intellects  which  have  ever  blos- 
somed forth  in  England — even  by  those  who  deny  the 
identity  of  the  two,  and  hand  the  palm  of  Shakespeare- 
author  to  the  obscure  actor,  Shakespeare. 

Numerous  literateurs  believe  that  evidence  exists 
that  the  incomparable  Bacon's  fad  was  writing  plays, 
the  theatre  in  his  day  being  comparatively  a  new  craze 
(that  is,  for  modern  times) — as  are  the  "movies"  in 
the  first  quarter  of  the  twentieth  century.  It  would 
then  have  been  regarded  as  incongruous  for  the  dig- 
nified statesman,  Bacon,  to  write  plays  as  for  an  ex- 
president  of  the  United  States  to-day  to  write  see- 


The  Shakespeare  Problem.  35 

narios  for  the  "movies."  Through  covering  his 
authorship,  Bacon  was  spared  the  jests  of  his  upper- 
crust  entourage. 

Whatever  credit,  too,  the  plays  had,  Bacon  would 
wish  his  adored  soul-mate  to  reap — just  as  the  present 
writer  has  sacrificed  his  own  interests  fundamentally 
that  his  soul-mate  might  be  benefited.  But  if  Bacon 
had  thought  the  Shakespeare  literature  would  survive 
his  own  generation,  he  would  doubtless,  on  his  death- 
bed, have  confessed  himself  its  author.  But  even  for 
many  years  after  his  death,  everybody  considered  it 
would  be  forgotten  by  man  as  soon  as  the  shredded 
leaves  of  the  first  printing  were  thrown  into  the  fire 
place. 

Another  reason  why  Bacon  would  never  confess 
his  authorship  is  that  in  his  age  the  law  condemned  to 
burial  alive  any  one  guilty  of  such  homosexual  sen- 
timents as  he  was  constrained,  by  passion,  to  express 
in  the  "Shakespeare"  sonnets. 

Francis  Bacon  published  extensively  under  his 
own  name.  He  published  extensively — as  a  large  body 
of  literateurs  believe — under  the  name  of  "William 
Shakespeare."  Just  as  the  present  writer  has  quite 
a  number  of  publications  under  his  legal  name,  and  a 
number  under  the  name  "Ralph  Werther — Jennie 
June."  And  no  one  suspects  the  identity  of  the  two 
present-day  authors. 

The  actual  Shakespeare — behind  whose  skirts 
Bacon  hid — was,  down  to  his  death,  only  an  obscure 
actor,  not  known  personally  to  any  writer  of  his  own 
generation  except  (by  supposition)  Bacon.  The  actor 
Shakespeare  has  achieved  immortality  through  having 
been  Bacon's  soul-mate. 


36  Walt  Whitman. 

Walt  Whitman  stands  foremost  among  Amer- 
ican androgynes.  But  he  was  of  the  mild  type. 
Many  passages  of  Leaves  of  Grass  and  Drumtaps  ex- 
ist as  proof.  He  never  married,  although  closely  pur- 
sued by  even  wealthy  women  desiring  him  as  husband. 
In  middle  age  he  spent  his  hours  for  recreation  in  the 
society  of  adolescents — as  I  was  informed  by  Whit- 
man's so-called  "adopted  son".  That  is,  he  courted 
them,  as  a  normal  man  courts  a  woman.  Chance 
made  me  intimate  with  the  "adopted  son"  in  his  seven- 
ties. All  three  of  us  happened  to  belong  to  New  York 
City. 
*         *        *  *         *  *         *  *  *         * 

Surely  we  androgynes,  who  for  two  thousand 
years  have  been  despised,  hunted  down,  and  crushed 
under  the  heel  of  normal  men  because  they  have  mis- 
understood biblical  condemnations  of  homosexuality, 
have  no  reason  to  be  ashamed  of  our  heritage. 
America's  foremost  poet;  the  world's  greatest  sculptor 
subsequently  to  Athens'  golden  age;  the  two  greatest 
ethicists  and  two  out  of  the  three  greatest  intellects  of 
ancient  Greece  and  Rome;  two  out  of  the  three  great- 
est conquerors  of  history;  the  greatest  painter  of  all 
ages;  and — to  cap  the  climax — the  greatest  intellect 
that  the  English-speaking  world  ever  produced  and  the 
greatest  literary  genius  of  all  time  (these  two  distinc- 
tions united  in  Francis  Bacon)— ALL  WERE  ANDRO- 
GYNES.1 

And  to  you  full-fledged  males  I  say:  "What  God 
hath  cleansed  [through  endowment  with  sublime  tal- 
ents] call  not  ye  'Unclean !'  " 

1  For  twenty-five  years,  the  author  has  combed  the  medical 
press    for   information   on   androgynism.      This    chapter    is    the 


Are  Androgynes  Super-men?  37 

fruit.  I  made  no  notes,  never  expecting  to  publish  the  results. 
At  the  present  writing,  I  lack  the  necessary  month  for  research 
to  the  end  of  making  a  complete  list  of  my  sources.  For  So- 
crates, see  Plato's  Symposium  and  Phsedo,  Xenophon's  Sympo- 
sium, and  Haller's  Die  Rede  des  Sokrates  in  Platon's  Symposium. 
For  Plato,  see  his  Dialogues,  particularly  the  Symposium; 
Grote's  Plato;  Ellis's  Sexual  Inversion,  page  229;  The  Sexuality 
of  Plato  in  Journal  of  Urology  and  Sexology,  1916,  page  201. 
For  Caesar,  see  Dr.  Wm.  Lee  Howard's  Pederasty  vs.  Prostitu- 
tion in  Journal  of  the  American  Medical  Association,  May  15, 
1897,  and  Suetonius'  Lives  of  the  Csesars,  written  about  A.  D. 
120.  The  latter  work  is  a  revelation  of  the  pederasty  with 
which  the  best  Roman  society  was  honeycombed.  I  believe  con- 
ditions are  about  the  same  to-day  in  all  civilizations  above 
the  barbarous,  although  in  Christian  nations  one  has  not  been 
permitted  to  publish  the  facts.  They  are  really  not  horrible, 
nor  portentous  of  ruin  for  society;  merely  imagined  to  be  so. 
They  are  not  really  conducive  to  the  detriment  of  society,  and 
have  existed  practically  as  now  throughout  history.  It  is  all 
because  Nature  has  created  the  phenomenon  of  androgynism, 
really  beneficent  to  society,  but  sorely  misjudged  by  writers 
grossly  ignorant  of  the  phenomenon.  Its  final  investigation  in 
the  twentieth  century  can  do  no  hurt;  only  a  world  of  good. 

For  Michelangelo,  see  his  Sonnets  and  his  biography  by  J. 
A.  Symonds.  For  the  Shakespeare-Author,  see  his  Sonnets  and 
Oscar  Wilde's  The  Portrait  of  Mr.  W.  H.,  published  in  Black- 
wood's in  1889,  as  well  as  that  same  article  expanded  in  a  mono- 
graph published  by  Mitchell  Kennerly  in  1921.  For  Whitman, 
see  his  Leaves  of  Grass  and  Drumtaps. 

Mrs.  Havelock  Ellis,  in  her  New  Horizons  in  Love  and  Life, 
says:  "Inversion  [sexual]  and  genius  have  a  sort  of  affinity. 
They  certainly  both  tend  to  belong  to  the  neurotic  group."  [R. 
W's  comment:  As  a  rule  both  androgynes  and  gynanders,  but 
particularly  the  former,  are  bundles  of  nerves.] 

The  valuable  popular  exposition  of  the  philosophy  of  sex, 
Edward  Carpenter's  Love's  Coming-of-Age  (published  by  Boni 
and  Liveright)  did  not  come  to  my  attention  until  after  THE 
FEMALE-IMPERSONATORS  was  written.  The  following  are 
excerpts  from  the  chapter,  The  Intermediate  Sex,  the  bracketed 
words  being  my  own:  Page  124:  "Charles  G.  Leland  ("Hans 
Breitmann")  in  his  book,  The  Alternate  Sex  (1904),  insists 
much  on  the  frequent  combination  of  the  characteristics  of  both 
sexes  in  remarkable  men  and  women,  and  has  a  chapter  on  "The 
Female  Mind  in  Man,"  and  another  on  "The  Male  Intellect  in 
Woman."  [I  once  read  the  statement  in  a  medical  journal,  name 
not  recalled:  "Homosexualists  are  particularly  common  among 
authors."] 

Page  139:  "The  instinctive  artistic  nature  of  the  male  of 
this   class    [urnings    or    androgynes],    his    sensitive    spirit,    his 


38  Androgynes'  Angelic  Disposition. 

wavelike  emotional  temperament,  combined  with  hardihood  of 
intellect  and  body....  may  be  said  to  give  them.  ..  .through 
their  double  nature,  command  of  life  in  all  its  phases,  and  a 
certain  freemasonry  of  the  secrets  of  the  two  sexes  which  may 
well  favor  their  function  as  reconcilers  [of  the  full-fledged  males 
with  the  full-fledged  females]  and  interpreters  [of  human  na- 
ture, particularly  from  the  standpoint  of  sex].  Certainly  it  is 
remarkable  that  some  of  the  world's  greatest  leaders  and  ar- 
tists have  been  dowered  either  wholly  or  in  part  with  the  Uran- 
ian  temperament  [that  is,  either  ultra-androgynes  or  ultra- 
gynanders  or  else  psychic  hermaphrodites] — as  in  the  cases  of 
Michael  Angelo,  Shakespeare,  Marlowe,  Alexander  the  Great, 
Julius  Caesar,  or,  among  women,  Christine  of  Sweden,  Sappho 
the  poetess,  and  others." 

It  is  noteworthy  that  tremendously  virile  males — who  alone, 
as  a  rule,  have  been  intimate  with  the  extreme  type  of  andro- 
gyne— have  named  him  "fairie"  in  English-speaking  countries 
and  "petit-jesus"  (Little  Jesus)  in  France,  largely  because  of 
his  having,  innate,  the  disposition  of  an  angel;  while  the  most 
common  scientific  term  for  androgynes  in  general  has  been 
"urning",  from  Greek  ouranos,  meaning  "heavenly  being." 
The  originator  of  the  term  "urning",  however,  was  himself  a 
bisexual,  K.  H.  Ulrichs,  an  Austrian,  the  originator,  about  1880, 
of  the  scientific  study  of  sexual  intermediates,  and  author  of 
several  published  papers  on  the  theme. 

A  lesser  historic  character  than  those  listed  in  my  text, 
Lord  Cornbury,  cousin  of  Queen  Anne  and  colonial  governor  of 
New  York,  had  the  fad  of  attiring  himself  in  feminine  finery 
for  a  stroll  on  the  capital  city's  principal  promenade.  One  of 
the  most  prominent  judges  (now  deceased)  of  the  Atlantic  coast 
was  declared  to  me,  by  a  citizen  of  his  own  town,  to  be  a  psychic 
hermaphrodite.  An  official  once  high  up  in  the  government  at 
Washington  was  declared  to  me,  by  a  citizen  of  his  native  place, 
to  be  an  androgyne.  One  of  the  greatest  factors  in  world  poli- 
tics to-day  is  merely  a  grown-up  infant  and  an  androgyne, 
though  at  the  same  time  a  genius. 


The  Third  Sex.  39 


IV.     Man  Is  a  Passional,  Rather  Than  a  Rational, 
Being. 

Twentieth-century  psychologists  are  coming 
around  to  the  view  that  even  the  leaders  of  thought  are 
governed  by  instinct  and  mores  rather  than  reason. 
Even  for  intellectuals,  truth  is  what  is  intuitive  or 
what  satisfies  their  prejudices  and  instincts.  Still  in 
the  twentieth  century,  the  leaders  of  thought  bow 
down  before  intellectual  idols,  although  other  than 
those  overthrown  by  Francis  Bacon.  Still  to-day — as 
in  the  generation  of  Roger  Bacon  (13th  century)  — 
conservatives  yearn  to  imprison,  or  even  burn  at  the 
stake,  those  in  whom  a  purer  reason  than  their  own 
operates 

My  own  is  thus  a  Herculean  task :  To  be  an  in- 
tellectual iconoclast.  To  break  down  the  last  remnant 
of  cultured  man's  savage,  criminal  instincts  and 
mores.  But,  like  Roger  Bacon,  I  may  comfort  myself 
with  the  thought  that  my  views  are  centuries  in  ad- 
vance of  my  time ;  but,  like  him,  I  am  therefore  bitterly 
persecuted.  1 

1A  confidant  who  read  these  paragraphs  commented  in 
substance:  "'Physician,  heal  thyself!'  Your  book  shows  that 
you  yourself  are  governed  by  instinct  and  prejudice.  'Those 
that  live  in  glass  houses  should  not  throw  stones.'  Therefore 
omit  these  paragraphs." 

If  I  am  governed  by  instinct  and  prejudice,  I  am  conscious 
of  being  ruled  only  by  reason.  Perhaps  those  who  advocate  the 
suppression  of  intermediates  without  investigation  equally  feel 
they  are  governed  by  pure  reason.  Granted  that  both  they  and 
myself  are  ruled  by  instinct  and  prejudice  and  that  it  is  impos- 
sible for  mankind  to  exercise  pure  reason,  nevertheless  inter- 


40  Prudery  Triumphant. 

"Away  with  any  one  who  attempts  to  bring  out 
the  truth  about  sex !"  cry  the  conservatives.  "Crucify 
him!  Crucify  him!  Sex  is  a  theme  too  disgusting 
for  discussion!" 

In  the  university  I  took  an  extended  course  of  lec- 
tures on  physiology.  But  not  a  word  was  said  about 
sex.  The  professor  would  not  have  thus  befouled 
his  mouth,  nor  corrupted  the  morals  of  his  students. 
Martin's  Human  Body,  the  standard  text-book  of  the 
time,  had  to  be  published  in  two  editions:  (1)  That 
which  treated  of  human  sexuality  as  viewed  in  the 
Dark  Ages,  and  (2)  that  which  imagined  the  genus 
homo  to  be  asexual. 

One  presumed  male  out  of  every  three  hundred 
belongs  to  the  third  sex,  strictly  speaking.  That  is, 
the  ultra-androgynes — the  pseudo-men  who  possess 
only  undersized  and  non-functional  male  pudenda, 
whose  body  otherwise  tends  toward  feminesqueness, 
and  whose  psyche,  predilections,  tastes,  gestures,  and 
postures  remind  one  of  a  female. 

The  third  sex  is  a  commonplace  topic  in  the 
Underworld,  which  comprises  about  one-tenth  the  pop- 
ulation of  "Christian"  lands.  -  The  Underworlders, 
however,  generally  fail  to  understand  the  cause  of  the 
effeminacy.  The  nine-tenths  of  the  unlearned  who 
have  never  entered  a  more  immoral  place  than  a 
"movie"  theatre  are  almost  entirely  ignorant  of  the 
third  sex.  What  hazy  ideas  they  have  are  criminally 
incorrect.      And  except  for  a  handful  of  sexologists, 

mediates  should  finally  have  their  day  in  court.  They  number 
700,000  in  continental  United  States  alone,  including  some  of 
the  brightest  minds  and  most  useful  members  of  society. 


Benighted  Leaders  of  Thought.  41 

the  learned  still  cling  to  views  handed  down  from  the 
Dark  Ages. 

In  the  seventeenth  century,  when  a  cyclone  demol- 
ished a  hamlet  or  an  epidemic  broke  out,  a  council  of 
physicians,  lawyers,  and  clergymen  was  called  to  de- 
termine which  semi-bearded  old  hag  had  wished  the 
catastrophe  upon  the  community.  After  prayer  for 
divine  guidance  and  an  exhortation  by  a  parson  that 
the  Bible  taught  that  witches  ought  to  be  ferreted  out, 
the  high-brows  would  seek  to  determine  who  of  the 
several  bags  of  bone  known  to  all  of  them  presented 
the  most  loathsome  appearance,  and  who  should  there- 
fore be  burned  at  the  stake  as  the  tvitch  responsible  for 
the  catastrophe — as  the  necessary  human  sacrifice 
to  appease  the  anger  of  the  Unseen  Powers.  For  even 
down  to  the  twentieth  century  there  survives  in 
Christendom  the  pagan  superstition  of  the  necessity 
of  a  human  sacrifice  now  and  then. 

But  in  the  twentieth  century,  leaders  of  thought 
have  evolved  from  the  belief  in  witchcraft.  They 
must  look  elsewhere  than  to  semi-bearded  hags  for 
their  sacrificial  victims  on  whom  to  load  the  sins  of 
mankind,  and  the  blame  for  the  decline  and  fall  of 
nations.  Since,  next  to  hags,  they  consider  sexual 
cripples  as  the  most  loathsome  of  humans,  they  make 
the  latter  the  scape-goats  of  present-day  society. 
While  they  no  longer  burn  them  at  the  stake  or  bury 
them  alive  (as  provided  in  old  European  law)  they  are 
permitted  by  twentieth  century  statutes  to  imprison 
inoffensive  androgynes  for  twenty  years.  And  these 
archaic  statutes  are  still  frequently  enforced.  Only  a 
few  months  ago  I  read  of  a  Boston  clergyman  who  was 
sentenced  to  prison  on  the  testimony  of  a  young  ex- 


42  Banishment  of  Androgynes. 

soldier.  But  to-day  these  statutes  serve  chiefly  as 
ground  for  extensive  blackmail  of  Nature's  step-child- 
ren, hardly  one  of  whom,  if  belonging  to  the  middle  or 
upper  class,  but  has  had  to  pay  out  considerable  sums, 
occasionally  running  into  the  thousands. 

Instead  of  imprisonment,  public  opinion  has  gen- 
erally substituted  banishment  of  the  disclosed  andro- 
gyne forever  from  all  he  loves. 

During  the  few  months  of  composing  this  book, 
the  New  York  papers  have  told  of  the  abrupt  flight  to 
parts  unknown  of  three  intellectual  leaders  in  their 
communities,  two  just  over  the  city  line  and  the  third 
within  a  hundred  miles.  They  had  to  flee,  not  because 
they  had  done  the  least  real  harm  (all  three  were 
pastors  of  churches)  but  because  of  the  mediaeval 
ignorance  and  bitter  hatred  that  their  communities 
immediately  manifested  toward  a  "man"  (reputedly) 
all  of  a  sudden  disclosed  to  be  a  "monster"  (though  in 
reality  a  harmless  and  pitiable  sexual  cripple).  The 
populace,  ignorant  that  he  had  probably  practiced  a 
thousand  times  more  self-denial  than  any  one  of  them- 
selves, but  had  at  last  been  able  to  withstand  Nature's 
demands  no  longer,  chased  him  out  of  his  community 
for  good  and  all  with  the  feeling  that  he  was  the  lowest 
scoundrel  that  ever  contaminated  it. 

I  admit  that  these  unfortunates  did  show  bad  judg- 
ment in  remaining  in  the  ministry  when  they  knew 
they  were  afflicted  with  a  powerful  instinct  abhorred  by 
the  sexually  full-fledged,  and  they  showed  the  worst 
kind  of  judgment  in  having  recourse  to  boys  under 
puberty.  But  they  were  in  a  tight  place,  and  besides 
felt  that  they  were  doing  no  one  any  harm.  For  the 
androgyne  generally  comes  at  last  to  the  view  that 


Most  Androgynes  Ultra-Religious.  43 

what  Nature  demands  can  be  no  sin  and,  if  properly 
fulfilled,  no  transgression  against  any  human. 

The  newspaper  devotee  runs  across  a  similar  item 
every  once  in  a  while,  and  nearly  always  the  "monster" 
is  a  clergyman  or  a  teacher.  But  the  abhorred  pen- 
chant (fellatio)  is,  of  course,  not  peculiar  to  these 
professions.  Simply  their  high  ethical  standing,  and 
the  common  fancy  that  they  should  therefore  be  proof 
against  what  is  incorrectly  regarded  as  the  worst  of 
vices,  attract  greater  attention,  and  give  news  value  to 
the  occasional  disclosures. 

But  it  is  probable  that  among  the  occupations, 
those  two,  together  with  all  having  to  do  with  art  of 
any  kind,  have  the  largest  proportions  of  androgynes. 
As  a  rule,  male  bisexuals  are  goody-goody  boys  who 
develop  into  ultra-religious  adolescents.  They  are 
enthusiastic  to  better  the  race  morally  and  spiritually. 
The  robes  commonly  worn  by  clergymen  are  also  a 
powerful  drawing  card,  since  androgynes  yearn  for 
apparel  that  conceals  that  they  are  bipeds.  Thus 
quite  a  number  who  were  born  intellectual  and  whose 
sexual  ardor,  during  adolescence,  is  comparatively 
weak,  gravitate  into  the  two  professions  standing 
highest  ethically  and  religiously.  When  making  his 
choice,  the  adolescent  is  filled  with  religious  fervor  and 
possessed  of  a  strong  determination  to  crucify  his 
"homosexual"  tendencies.  The  androgyne  already 
yielding  would  never  put  on  "the  cloth,"  although  he 
would  go  into  pedagogy.  But  the  puritan-minded 
regards  these  tendencies  as  his  "besetting  sin"  and 
fights  them  for  years  in  the  strenuous  manner  de- 
scribed in  my  own  Autobiography  of  an  Androgyne. 
Throughout  his  teens,  and  perhaps  even  his  twenties, 


44  Abstinence  Induces  Melancholia. 

he  never  expects  to  be  overmastered.  But  later  in 
life  many  a  one  of  these  sexual  cripples  who  have  put 
on  "the  cloth"  disgrace  it  notwithstanding  his  prior 
unparalleled  mental  struggles  against  Nature's  be- 
hests. 

Or  if  coming  out  victor  in  the  lifelong  struggle, 
the  pitiable  woman-man  lives  down  to  death  under 
the  obsession  (due  to  misinterpreted  biblical  texts) 
that  the  gratification  of  his  unusual  instinct  is  the 
most  heinous  of  sins,  and  spends  all  his  days,  in  which 
God  meant  that  he  should  rejoice,  in  mourning  over  his 
sexual  ardor  (for  which  he  does  not  realize  he  is  ir- 
responsible), in  crucifying  his  body  continuously,  with 
its  affections  and  lusts  (as  commanded  by  the  anaph- 
rodite,  St.  Paul),  and  is  thereby,  throughout  adult 
life,  en  the  borderline  of  insanity.  I  have  heard 
sermons  from  such  clergymen  and  was  moved  to  pity 
as  they  were  shedding  tears  in  the  pulpit  and  render- 
ing themselves  unpopular,  both  with  their  fellow 
preachers  who  are  sexually  full-fledged  and  with  the 
laity,  because  their  aspect  was  always  that  of  tragedy. 
I  advise  that  all  such  melancholiacs  immediately  ask 
that  they  be  honorably  deposed  from  the  ministry. 
As  a  result  their  lives  would  be  happy  and  satisfying. 

The  vast  majority  of  preachers  are  manly.  I 
have  3.  higher  respect  for  that  profession  than  for  any 
other.  If  it  had  not  been  for  my  androgynism,  I 
would  have  myself  entered  it.  It  would  be  well  for  the 
Church  authorities  to  question,  as  to  their  sexuality, 
all  candidates  for  beginning  a  theological  course,  and 
in  the  kindest  manner  advise  adolescents  in  the  least 
bisexual  to  choose  some  other  profession  because  of 
the  public's   misunderstanding  of  this   phenomenon. 


Why  Androgynes  Are  Hated.  45 

Sexual  conduct  is  not  primarily  a  voluntary  matter  or 
an  ethical  question,  but  rooted  in  anatomy,  physiology, 
and  psychology.  The  androgyne  who  yearns  to 
preach  the  Gospel  can  do  so  through  the  printed  word. 
Because  of  St.  Paul's  sex  teaching  (that  of  an  anaph- 
rodite)  the  profession  of  "the  cloth"  is  rightly  open 
only  to  anaphrodites  and  the  mildly  virile.  The  more 
virile  are  likewise  excluded  because  it  is  next  to  im- 
possible for  them  to  abstain  from  adultery. 

Why  are  androgynes  so  hated?  Primarily  be- 
cause the  leaders  of  thought  have  always  identified 
them  with  the  men  of  ancient  Sodom  (mistakenly, 
because  the  Sodomites  were  full-fledged  males)  and 
historians  have  mistakenly  (because  they  never  met 
androgynes  personally  and  were  taught  in  their  boy- 
hood to  hate  them  with  all  their  heart,  soul,  mind,  and 
strength)  laid  upon  them  all  the  blame  for  the  decline 
and  fall  of  nations,  and  declared  that  therefore  effem- 
inacy or  androgynism  is  a  type  of  moral  depravity  to 
be  crushed  mercilessly.  Better  that  some  thousands 
of  androgynes  be  deprived  of  life,  liberty,  and  the 
pursuit  of  happiness  than  that  the  general  welfare  of 
the  nation  be  imperilled !  Androgynes — they  argue — 
are  unavoidably  the  scape-goats  of  the  race. 

I  answer :  In  the  first  place,  such  imperilment  is 
only  a  figment  of  the  imagination.  This  superstition 
can  be  disposed  of  by  merely  asking  to  what  extent 
the  welfare  of  humanity  was  imperiled  by  the  sex 
functioning  of  the  arch-androgynes  listed  in  chapter 
III?  In  the  second  place,  androgynism  is  not  moral 
depravity  or  degeneracy.  I  myself — an  extreme  type 
of  androgyne — spring  from  the  most  puritan  stock. 
I  was  brought  up  to  consider  that  on  Sunday,  reading 


46  Androgynism  Not  Degeneracy. 

anything  but  Christian  doctrine  or  walking  a  hundred 
feet  for  mere  pleasure  were  heinous  sins.  In  ad- 
dition to  springing  from  the  most  puritan  stock,  both 
my  paternal  and  maternal  stock  are  of  unusually 
strong  build.  A  paternal  and  also  a  maternal  uncle 
were  professional  athletes.  A  brother  was  the  cham- 
pion athlete  of  my  native  village.  My  stock  and  early 
environment  are  indeed  the  last  that  any  one  would 
pick  out  as  likely  to  bring  into  the  world  a  homosexual 
or  androgyne  as  a  result  of  moral  degradation.1  My 
androgynism  has,  however,  made  me  myself  rather 
lilliputian.  With  one  exception,  I  grew  up  to  be  the 
smallest  man  of  my  paternal  and  maternal  families. 

It  is  not  necessary  to  crush  androgynes  in  order 
to  guard  against  the  spread  of  effeminacy.  Effemina- 
cy, in  the  sense  of  androgynism,  does  not  spread  by 
example.  It  is  entirely  congenital.  Only  a  physical 
male  born  with  quasi-feminine  predilections  would 
adopt  the  role  of  a  female  after  becoming  adult.  An 
androgyne's  predilections  and  practices  are  regarded 
with  such  repugnance  by  all  full-fledged  males  that 
none  would  stoop  to  them  unless  constrained  by  in- 
stinct. 

Why  imprison  and  murder  the  androgyne  any 
more  than  the  deaf-mute?  The  former  is  no  more 
abnormal  than  the  latter;  no  more  degenerate;  no 
more  depraved.     It  is  unfortunate  that  the  human 

i  My  own  case  indicates  that  Nature  creates  androgynes 
and  gynanders  as  a  brake  on  too  rapid  multiplication.  Both 
paternal  and  maternal  stock  have  averaged  eight  children  to  a 
marriage.  It  seems  that  Nature  wishes  to  preserve  to  as  many 
of  her  children  as  possible  the  joys  of  courtship.  Often,  instead 
of  making  cold  anaphrodites  or  female  icebergs  out  of  the  men 
and  women  not  needed  to  perpetuate  the  race,  she  brings  into 
the  world  androgynes  or  gynanders — as  a  rule,  sterile. 


Not  Cause  of  Decline  of  Nations.  47 

race  is  handicapped  with  either  of  these  defective 
classes.  But  the  androgyne  deserves  only  pity,  the 
same  as  the  deaf-mute. 

Effeminacy  in  an  entirely  different  sense,  and  a 
kind  that  spreads  rapidly  through  example,  is  the 
actual  cause  of  the  decline  and  fall  of  nations;  in  the 
sense  of  the  weakening  of  the  moral  fibre  of  the  males 
of  the  upper  crust  or  ruling  class  through  their  hav- 
ing grown  overfond  of  ease  and  pleasure  and  lost 
their  joy  in  industry  and  justifiable  fighting.  A  neigh- 
boring nation  of  superior  moral  fibre  is  quick  to  learn 
of  such  effemination  and  subjugates  the  decadent  one. 
But  these  effeminates'  fondness  for  the  gentle  sex  has 
in  no  way  declined.  Generally  it  has  greatly  augment- 
ed. Witness  the  decline  and  fall  of  the  Greek,  Roman, 
and  Turkish  empires. 

Where  has  androgynism  been  more  prevalent  than 
formerly  among  the  American  aborigines?  Probably 
because  the  tribes  were  constantly  underfed.  When- 
ever a  male  arrived  at  puberty,  the  weapons  of  the 
warrior  and  the  cooking  vessels  of  the  squaw  were 
ceremoniously  placed  before  him  that  he  might  choose 
his  future  social  status.  A  not  inconsiderable  number 
of  adolescents  (because  congenital  androgynes)  al- 
ways chose  the  culinary  utensils  and  passed  the  rest 
of  their  lives  as  squaws,  the  hair  of  the  beard  being 
plucked  out  as  fast  as  it  showed  itself,  and  the  costume 
being  that  of  the  female  sex.  Surely  savage  tribes 
continuously  on  the  war-path  can  not  be  accused  of 
degenerative  effeminacy ! 

About  one-third  the  soul-mates  of  androgynes 
who  have  come  under  my  observation  have  been  vol- 
untary common   soldiers  or  blue- jackets.     I  am  far 


48  Androgynism  Nationally  Healthful. 

from  being  the  only  androgyne  who  has  gravitated 
toward  the  "supreme  men"  whose  voluntary  profes- 
sion has  as  its  aim  the  killing  of  their  fellow  man. 
Androgynism  appears  to  go  hand  in  hand  with  militar- 
ism rather  than  vice  versa.  Havelock  Ellis  says  that 
homosexuality  is  particularly  common  among  the 
Sikhs,  the  most  military  of  the  Hindustan  races. 

It  is  more  likely  that  the  emergence  of  andro- 
gynism is  a  sign  of  national  health.  The  ultra-brilliant 
Age  of  Pericles  surpassed  all  other  periods  in  the 
recognition  and  influence  of  androgynism,  which  pro- 
motes art  and  general  culture.  The  androgyne,  being 
a  combination  of  man  and  woman  in  a  single  individu- 
al, has  a  wider  view  of  life  than  the  full-fledged  man 
or  woman.  He  possesses,  in  a  measure,  the  mental 
qualities  peculiar  to  each  sex.  That  is  why  the  Shakes- 
peare-Author knew  both  the  masculine  and  the  fem- 
inine mind  better  than  any  other  writer.  Such  duality 
is  the  reason  artistic  genius  crops  out  far  more  fre- 
quently among  androgynes  than  among  the  sexually 
full-fledged.  The  amalgamated  man-woman  nature 
gets  nearest  to  sentiment  and  emotion — to  the  soul  of 
art.1 

Why  do  cultured  androgynes  carefully  conceal 
their  quasi-feminine  sexual  predilections?  Why  did 
Angelo  not  publish  any  of  his  homosexual  sonnets? 
Why  did  Raphael  not  proclaim  on  the  housetops  the 
happenings  in  his  house  at  night?  Androgynes  hide 
their  sexual  predilections  and  practices,  not  because 
of  consciousness  of  personal  degeneracy,  but  because 

1  I  wrote  this  paragraph,  so  much  like  that  quoted  (at  close 
of  preceding  chapter)  from  Carpenter's  Love's  Coming  of  Age, 
before  I  had  heard  of  the  existence  of  the  book  named. 


Race  Suicide.  49 

grossly  misunderstood  by  the  sexually  full-fledged. 
By  exception,  Oscar  Wilde  was  open  and  above  board, 
and  was  therefore  shut  up  in  prison. 

Only  bigoted  pseudo-scientists  have  pronounced 
androgynes  degenerates.  Only  mediaeval  medicine, 
not  modern  medicine.  Androgynism  is  merely  an  in- 
stance of  arrested  development ;  or  possibly  of  atavism 
— an  attempt  on  the  part  of  Nature  to  return  to  the 
original  hermaphrodism  of  man's  early  antecedents. 
The  androgyne  who  follows  the  dictates  of  Nature 
is  not  a  whit  more  degenerate  morally  than  the  full- 
fledged  man  who  marries.  It  is  only  the  fallible  mores 
which  make  the  full-Hedged  think  that  a  person  with 
apparently  male  pudenda  who  impersonates  a  female 
is  infinitely  below  themselves  morally.  Were  Socrates, 
Plato,  Angelo,  Raphael,  and  Francis  Bacon  monsters 
of  depravity?  Ought  the  Shakespeare- Author  to 
have  been  buried  alive  by  his  hare-brained  fellow  citi- 
zens before  he  had  a  chance  to  pen  a  line? 

The  chief  charge  against  androgynes  is  that  they 
are  guilty  of  "the  awful  crime  of  race  suicide."  But 
it  is  the  fault  of  Nature  alone  that  the  ultra-androgyne 
is  incapable  of  doing  his  part  in  the  perpetuation  of 
the  race. 

The  cultured  androgyne,  knowing  his  irresistible 
instincts  are  harmless  to  his  soul-mate,  is  unable  to 
discern  in  them  any  transgression  against  ethics  or 
against  God. 

But  a  very  small  proportion  of  adult  androgynes 
have  been  guilty  of  a  lamentable  transgression  be- 
cause finding  themselves  in  a  tight  place :  that  is,  re- 
course to  boys  under  puberty.  The  prudery  of  full- 
fledged  men  has  hitherto  prohibited  androgynes  from 


50  Androgynes'  One  Offence. 

scientific  knowledge  of  themselves.  Until  thirty  years 
ago,  American  and  British  public  opinion  would  not 
tolerate  the  publication  of  the  facts  about  androgynism 
even  for  circulation  among  the  medical  profession. 
Havelock  Ellis's  Sexual  Inversion,  the  earliest  pub- 
lished book  in  the  English  language  on  androgynism, 
was  promptly  suppressed  by  the  British  government 
thirty  years  ago.  I  myself  had  to  bend  the  knee  for 
eighteen  years  to  medical  publishers  before  my  Auto- 
biography of  an  Androgyne  was  fed  into  the  print- 
ing-press in  1918. 

Thus,  because  full-fledged  men  have  interdicted 
to  cultured  androgynes  the  means  of  understanding 
themselves  and  knowledge  of  how  they  ought  to  pass 
their  lives,  some — particularly  those  who  have 
achieved  places  of  honor,  because  androgynes  of  lower 
rank  do  not  need  to  be  so  crafty  in  hiding  their  ter- 
rible secret  from  the  heartless  world — have  ultimately 
been  revealed  guilty  of  recourse  to  the  immature  (be- 
cause they  could  not  screw  up  their  courage  to  dis- 
close their  abnormality  to  an  older  and  wiser  male) . 
But  on  account  of  the  tyranny  of  the  full-fledged, 
these  erring  androgynes  merit  mercy.  Their  offences 
have  probably  not  been  at  all  harmful  to  the  immature. 
They  are  merely  asserted  to  be  so  by  men  unable  to 
accept  any  scientific  results  except  those  inculcated 
by  mediaeval  savants.  But  this  one  offence  of  andro- 
gynes will  be  a  thing  of  the  past  when  they  are 
permitted  recourse  to  books  which  explain  the  riddle 
of  their  lives,  and  when  full-fledged  men  read  such 
books  in  order  that  they  may  do  justice  to  Nature's 
step-children. 

As   already   stated,    ultra-androgynes,   having   a 


Androgynes  Are  Goody-Goodies.  51 

woman's  psyche,  are  goody-goodies.  Indeed  goody- 
goodiness  may  be  regarded  as  their  most  marked  char- 
acteristic. For  this  reason,  in  France,  they  are  called 
"little  Jesuses"  (petite  jesus)  notwithstanding  that  the 
more  extreme  are  public  female-impersonators  in  re- 
sorts of  ill  repute.  Ultra-androgynes  are  incapable  of 
doing  any  real  harm.  If  all  the  human  race  were  as 
harmless,  this  world  would  be  a  far  better  place  in 
which  to  live. 

The  cultured  androgyne  is  a  desirable  citizen  and 
a  desirable  member  of  any  circle.  While  ultra-andro- 
gynism  makes  its  victims  physically  weak — like  a 
woman — it  has  no  deteriorating  effect  morally  or  men- 
tally. The  usual  charge  of  gross  immorality  is  merely 
a  relic  of  mediaeval  bigotry. 

It  matters  not,  however,  that  androgynes  are  ab- 
solutely innocuous  practically  and  ethically.  Do  they 
not  offend  the  aesthetic  sense  of  the  majority  of  man- 
kind? What  better  cause  for  grinding  them  under 
one's  heel? 

And  this  bitter  persecution  that  has  been  the  lot 
of  some  androgynes  has  rendered  them  misanthropes. 
Not  their  androgynism  per  se.  A  mildly  androgynous 
acquaintance — an  intellectual  giant  of  the  highest 
moral  character  except  for  his  irresponsible  and  in- 
nocuous passive  pederasty — is,  as  a  result  of  society's 
shutting  him  up  in  prison  for  the  five  years  of  his  in- 
tellectual prime,  a  chronic  and  bitter  reviler  of  the 
Church.  Because  zealous  churchmen  were  responsible 
for  the  wrecking  of  his  life  through  their  misunder- 
standing of  the  biblical  teaching  on  homosexuality. 

But  in  general  we  androgynes,  possessing  the 
long-suffering  feminine  psyche,  are  resigned  to  being 


52  God  Will  Avenge  Androgynes. 

ground  to  powder  by  the  hypocritical  world.  It  is 
better  to  suffer  than  to  inflict  suffering.  Though  the 
world  despise  and  ostracise  us,  the  All-Knowing  is 
still  our  refuge,  and  another  life  awaits  us  where  con- 
ditions will  be  more  just.  The  bigoted  and  Pharisaical 
judges  and  juries  who  have  haled  hundreds  of  innocent 
androgynes  off  to  prison  should  remember  the  Old 
Testament  doctrine:  "  'Vengeance  is  mine!'  saith  Je- 
hovah." Those  who  incarcerate  the  innocent  in  this 
world  will  in  the  next  have  to  serve  time  in  the  darkest 
dungeons  of  a  just  God. 
********* 

Note  to  Illustration  Facing  Page  53. 

My  father  was  a  reversionary  pure  Alpine,  but  his  broth- 
ers were  decidedly  Nordic.  My  mother  is  a  reversionary  pure 
Nordic,  while  roost  of  her  brothers  and  sisters  were  predomi- 
nantly Alpine.  Evidences  of  Mediterranean  blood  in  my  pater- 
nal or  maternal  stock  are  doubtful.  I  myself  am  predominantly 
Alpine,  particularly  evident  in  my  short  stature  and  generally 
brunette  features.  But  the  Nordic  cross  has  given  me  a  rather 
ruddy  complexion  and  "browned"  my  chevelure.  My  beard 
hair  is  jet  black,  but  always  clean-shaven,  if  not  eradicated.  I 
am  of  English,  Scotch,  Dutch,  German,  and  French  descent. 
During  adulthood,  I  have  always  considered  the  highest  human 
beauty  to  reside  in  adolescent  Irish-Americans  or  Italian-Ameri- 
cans of  approximately  pure  Mediterranean  stock. 


The  "Fairie  Boy"   Ready  to  Set  Out  on  Life's  Journey 

(See  note  on  page   52.) 


faxfOfaaz 
jJlofci  the  JVutfyor  (Earns  to  J£e  a  Jfemab-^mpersutiaior 

(Part  Two  summarizes  my  pre-nineteen  life  and 
my  physical  and  mental  traits  for  those  not  reading 
my  Autobiography  of  an  Androgyne.  Particularly 
for  details  of  purely  medical  interest,  the  scientist  is 
referred  to  that  work,  since  the  present  volume  is  de- 
signed primarily  for  the  general  reader.  Part  Two, 
however,  presents  many  facts  not  in  mind  when  I 
wrote  the  earlier  work  over  twenty  years  ago.) 

I.     Reveries  Suggested  by  My  Infancy. 

Connecticut,  famous  for  its  wooden  nutmegs  and 
other  freak  products,  gave  to  the  world,  in  1874,  one 
of  its  half-dozen  most  widely  known  girl-boys. 

My  mother  has  said  that  I  was  the  greatest  cry- 
baby of  her  eleven  children.  I  have  really  never  out- 
grown this  characteristic.  Still  in  my  late  forties,  I 
occasionally  weep  bitterly  for  a  whole  hour. 

Up  to  my  eighth  birthday,  timidity  made  me  re- 
luctant to  leave  my  mother's  side  to  play  with  other 
children.  Sticking  very  close  to  "mother"  as  a  child, 
and  extraordinary  devotion  to  her  when  adult  are 
common  earmarks  of  androgynism.  I  have  known  of 
no  other  reputed  male  so  devoted  to  his  mother,  even 
down  to  his  late  forties,  as  I.      My  mother  is  still,  by 

[53] 


54        My  Life-Long  Soulmate   (in  Dreamland). 

a  kind  Providence,  spared  to  me.  I  frequently  weep 
bitterly  at  the  thought  of  her  dying  and  can  not 
imagine  living  when  she  is  in  the  grave.  I  knew  an 
androgyne  who,  in  his  sixties,  died  from  grief  a  few 
days  after  the  death  of  his  mother  around  ninety. 

In  my  early  childhood,  only  one  other  person 
attracted  me  in  a  comparable  fashion — a  neighbor's 
burly  boy,  F'ank,  five  years  older  than  myself.  All 
my  life  I  have  seen  him  at  least  several  times  a  year, 
since  he  has  remained  a  close  friend  down  to  the  time 
when  we  both  count  about  half-a-century  of  life.  His 
influence  is  still  strong,  although  sexual  relations 
ceased  when  I  was  seven.  He  was  one  of  the  most 
amorous  of  boys.  From  my  third  to  seventh  year,  he 
sought  me  several  times  a  week.  Perhaps  he  also  em- 
braced every  chance  for  heterosexual  relations — 
common  among  the  children  under  twelve  in  the  "best 
set"  of  the  village,  among  whom  I  was  privileged  to 
be  brought  up.  And  yet  all  these  contaminated  young- 
sters— excepting  myself — turned  out  fairly  virtuous 
adults.  The  ultra-amorous  and  active  pederast  F'ank 
became,  when  adult,  exclusively  heterosexual  and  quite 
promiscuous,  being  of  the  tremendously  virile  type. 
But  around  thirty,  he  settled  down  into  absolute  mon- 
ogamy. He,  however,  never  had  a  child.  At  past 
fifty,  he  stands  at  perfection  in  health,  strength,  and 
morality. 

I  say  they  "turned  out"!  That  is,  so  far  as  I 
ever  heard.  But  they  would  all  have  said  of  me  that  I 
passed  through  my  adult  life  a  cold  anaphrodite !  One 
can  never  know!  Some  might  secretly  have  been  ad- 
dicted to  venery  as  much  as  I.  But  they  betrayed  no 
external  sign.     Neither  have  I. 


Most  Sheltered  Two  "Went  to  the  Bad."         55 

But  while  all  those  who  indulged  in  "nastiness" 
before  reaching  their  teens  grew  up,  so  far  as  I  was 
able  to  observe,  into  men  and  women  above  reproach, 
two  of  "my  set" — those  who  were  "kids"  at  the  same 
time  within  a  radius  of  five  hundred  feet  of  my  own 
paternal  roof,  the  several  homosexualist  schoolmates 
elsewhere  described  having  lived  outside  that  radius — 
the  two  that  had  been  most  carefully  brought  up  and 
shielded  by  their  mother  from  corruption  by  other 
children,  almost  the  only  two  that  were  sexually  un- 
blemished as  children,  "went  to  the  bad"  immediately 
on  arrival  at  puberty.  They  were  brother  and  sister 
— the  only  children  of  a  wealthy,  pious  couple.  The 
brother  became  a  chronic  dypsomaniac  and  roue.  The 
sister,  a  beautiful  and  brilliant  girl  who  had  enjoyed  a 
college  education,  died  before  thirty  as  a  result  of  ex- 
cesses in  her  chosen  profession  of  fille  de  joie  in  New 
York  City.  The  mother  died  of  a  broken  heart  in  her 
early  forties.  The  father,  previously  active  in  church 
work,  became  despondent  on  seeing  both  his  children 
"go  to  the  bad,"  took  to  drink,  and  died  a  sot. 

Debauchery  was  born  in  these  two  children,  for 
they  had  never  missed  Bible  school  up  to  their  middle 
teens.  They  were  unusually  innocent  prior  to  puberty. 
But  religious  teaching  failed  to  convince  them.  They 
thought  the  "goody-goodies"  were  trying  to  rob  them 
of  the  pleasures  of  life  through  false  representations. 
I  believe  both  could  have  been  saved  from  shipwreck 
of  life  if,  at  puberty,  a  book,  scientific,  not  goody-goody, 
could  have  been  put  into  their  hands,  demonstrating 
that  alcoholic  and  venereal  excesses  bring  on  ruin  and 
often  early  death.  Children  inclined  to  dissipation  on 
arrival  at  puberty  are  far  more  likely  to  heed  the  pro- 


56  Inherited  Lechery. 

nouncements  of  a  physician  than  of  a  Bible  school 
teacher. 

*  #  *  £  ♦  ♦  ♦ 

In  that  same  immediate  puritan  circle  in  my  child- 
hood's village,  I  have  lately  observed  a  similar  case  in 
the  next  generation.  I  have  known  well  a  certain 
gentleman  of  my  own  age  since  we  were  boys  together. 
He  is  of  the  tremendously  virile  type  and  sowed  his 
wild  oats  as  hardly  another  young  blood  in  the  village. 
But  in  his  middle  twenties  he  was  "soundly  converted" 
in  a  puritan  church  (to  which  I  myself  belonged)  and 
married  one  of  its  purest  daughters.  In  his  subse- 
quent life,  he  attained  rare  success  financially  and 
socially.  He  has  had  only  two  children — both  girls 
around  twenty  years  of  age  at  the  date  of  writing.  I 
know  the  family  intimately.  I  have  direct  infor- 
mation that  both  girls  are  "fast  going  to  the  bad"  (not- 
withstanding they  have  always  been  under  only  pur- 
itan influences)  and  that  the  father  has  "backslidden," 
evidently  being  no  longer  able  to  restrain  his  de  facto 
polygamous  instincts.  The  purest  of  wives  is  heart- 
broken and  on  the  borderline  of  insanity. 

Every  one  says  the  girls  and  their  father  are  wil- 
fully depraved  and  their  puritan  community  has  al- 
ready begun  to  treat  them  as  outcasts.  /  say  the  girls 
inherited  their  craze  for  venery  from  their  father,  in 
whom  likewise  it  was  inborn.  He  is  a  noble  man  in 
every  other  respect.  All  three  are  largely  irrespon- 
sible. They  are,  by  birth,  not  fitted  for  the  puritan 
society  in  which  they  were  brought  up.  Under  present 
social  ideas  and  usages,  the  only  outlet  for  the  girls  is 
prostitution  and  the  consequent  early  loss  of  health 
soon  terminating  in  death.      But  their  only  fault  is 


Present  Social  Rules  Inadequate.  57 

nymphomania.  If  society  had  some  way  by  which  it 
could  bring  about  the  satisfaction  of  these  needs  of 
these  cultured  girls,  the  latter  could  be  saved  from  the 
shipwreck  of  life  and  be  useful  members  of  their 
community.  In  my  own  life  I  have  proved  that 
Christian  conversion  and  absorption  in  the  teachings 
of  the  Bible  can  not  save  one  from  innate  nympho- 
mania. I  could  suggest  a  means  of  salvation  for  these 
girls,  but  dare  not.  If  only  the  leaders  of  thought  did 
not  prescribe  an  identic  sex  life  for  every  daughter  of 
Eve,  although  Nature  has  created  them  with  such  di- 
versity along  these  lines!  If  only  the  leaders  of 
thought  permitted  real  sexual  problems  (as  well  as 
namby-pamby)  to  be  investigated,  as  all  other  phe- 
nomena are  searched  out  to  the  very  bottom !  If  only 
the  leaders  of  thought  permitted  the  truth  to  be  told 
about  sex  instead  of  continuing  to  propagate  the  hy- 
pocrisies  and   fabrications   regnant   down   from   the 

Dark  Ages ! 

******* 

I  have  read  statements  of  puritans  of  the  dreadful 
results  that  will  follow  the  common  sex  relations  of 
children  under  twelve  in  city  tenements.  I  have  spent 
a  large  part  of  my  life  in  rural  districts  as  well  as  in 
great  cities.  My  observations  are  that  conditions  are 
the  same  among  children  of  both  types  of  environment. 
Numerous  youngsters  receive  their  sex  initiation  be- 
fore twelve.  But,  unless  carried  to  excess,  it  does  not 
seem  to  have  any  bad  influence,  particularly  after  they 
become  adults.  The  probability  is  that  the  same 
practice  has  ruled  among  small  children  for  thousands 
of  years.     It  is  Nature. 

And  the  context  moves  me  to  remark:  It  turned 


58       Providence's  Favoritism  Toward  Author. 

out  that  of  my  several  hundred  schoolmates  (prior  to 
the  university)  I  achieved  in  adult  life  the  highest 
success.  Not  as  a  business  man  or  money-maker,  in 
which  line  I  did  not  excel.  Not  in  art  or  politics. 
But  in  the  following  fields,  both  individually  and  com- 
bined: Intellectual  and  general  cultural  development; 
enjoyment  of  (but  not  adeptness  in)  all  species  of  art; 
breadth  and  depth  of  life  and  knowledge  of  human 
nature;  enjoyment  of  the  society  of  my  fellow  humans, 
particularly  sexual  opposites;  and,  last  but  not  least, 
fame,  or,  as  some  would  prefer  to  have  me  say,  noto- 
riety. For  I  feel  that  I,  as  an  extreme  type  of  the 
bisexual,  am  doomed  to  live  in  the  minds  of  savants  for 
scores  of  years  after  every  one  of  my  hundreds  of 
schoolmates,  and  my  other  hundreds  of  university 
associates,  are  eternally  forgotten. 

[Note  Added  in  Galley:  I  omitted  to  mention  that  I  have 
also  far  excelled  in  suffering  inflicted  by  man  and  in  sorrow — 
which  two  items  together  have  about  counterbalanced  the  ad- 
vantages  enumerated..] 

But  I  have  achieved  this  last  element  (terrestrial 
immortality)  of  the  highest  success  in  life  denied  to 
all  my  wide  circles  of  childhood  and  adolescence 
through  my  "going  to  the  bad" — as  the  saying  is.  But 
though  that  was  the  fate  marked  out  for  me  by  the 
Architect  of  the  Universe,  I  was  actually  able  to  re- 
strain my  "evil"  propensities  so  as  not  to  make  ship- 
wreck of  life.  My  girl-boy  intimate  described  in  the 
early  part  of  the  second  chapter  following  did  make, 
decidedly,  shipwreck  of  his  life,  as  have  many  other 
girl-boys.     My  salvation  lay  in  practicing  relatively1 

1  For  me  it  was  extreme  temperance,  considering  my 
natural  sexual  ardor.  For  most  people  it  would  have  been  gross 
intemperance.     Extreme   temperance   might   be   defined   as   the 


Temperance  the  Only  Salvation.  59 

extreme  temperance  in  the  indulgence  of  the  sexual 
propensities  except  during  my  Bowery  period  de- 
scribed in  my  Autobiography  of  an  Androgyne  and 
Riddle  of  the  Underworld.  Extreme  temperance 
in  indulgence  of  any  fleshly  appetite  is,  for  all  human- 
ity, the  sole  means  of  salvation  from  the  shipwreck  of 
earthly  life.  Overindulgence  of  any  appetite  defeats 
its  own  end. 

Thus  while  nearly  all  other  girl-boys  are  doomed 
to  be  forgotten  by  mankind  a  few  years  after  their 
bodies  return  "dust  to  dust,"  I  myself  am — I  feel — des- 
tined to  live  in  the  memory  of  savants  primarily  be- 
cause of  my  extensive  self-restraint,  and  secondarily 
because  of  my  excelling  the  other  girl-boys  in  innate 
brain-power. 

It  was  F'ank  who  initiated  me,  at  two,  in  the 
mysteries  which  gullible  parents  think  children  do  not 
learn  before  puberty.  But  down  to  twelve,  I  consid- 
ered all  species  of  sex  relations  as  the  monopoly  of 
naughty  children.  All  adults  had  of  course  outgrown 
such  depths  of  nastiness. 

Down  to  my  present  age  of  close  to  half-a-cen- 
tury,  F'ank  has  been  the  hero  in  half  my  many  sexual 
dreams.  After  I  reached  seven,  we  ceased  to  be  con- 
fidential. I  therefore  never  confessed  to  him  that  his 
influence  prior  to  my  seventh  year  almost  wrecked  my 
adult  life — probably  consigning  me  to  an  irresponsible, 
intensive  fairie  career — and  a  thousand  times  made  me 
wish,  because  a  slave  to  fellatio,  that  I  were  dead. 
For  I  firmly  believe  that  girl-boys,  if  not  repeatedly 

denial  of  six-sevenths  of  one's  strong  fleshly  desires.  That  is 
what  it  was  with  me.  Professional  fairies  commonly  indulge 
more  than  ten  times  as  often  per  year  as  I  did.  But  as  a  result, 
they  go  early  to  the  grave. 


60  Keep  Tots  Sexually  Clean. 

seduced  before  puberty,  will,  as  adults,  have  only 
weak  and  controllable  desires  for  the  sexual  function- 
ing ordained  by  Nature  for  their  type.  While  they  are 
commonly  fellators  or  else  pathics  cong enitally ,  only 
oft  repeated  seduction  in  early  childhood  makes  them, 
after  puberty,  irresponsible  psychic  nymphomaniacs 
who  recruit  the  ranks  of  fairies.  But  for  those  repeat- 
edly seduced  in  early  childhood,  the  penchant  is  truly 
irresistible  in  adulthood  and  would  be  followed  re- 
gardless of  all  legal  penalties.  Just  as  most  men  would 
steal  a  loaf  of  bread  if  their  only  means  of  salvation 
from  death  through  hunger. 

Not  too  often  repeated  homosexual  acts  on  the 
part  of  a  small  child,  however,  are  not  likely  to  make 
him  an  adult  pervert.  An  innate  tendency  is  practi- 
cally indispensable.  Early  experiences  along  innate 
lines  merely  strengthen  a  congenital  bias,  just  as  the 
author  became  an  intensive  adult  fairie  as  a  result — I 
am  inclined  to  believe — of  my  intense  fairieship  from 
three  to  six. 

While  I  believe  sexual  relations  of  children  under 
twelve  when  not  often  repeated  will  not  render  them 
particularly  lustful  as  adults,  an  intensive  sex  life  of 
a  small  child — as  in  my  own  case — is  likely  to  render 
him  or  her  extremely  intemperate  sexually  after  puber- 
ty. Mothers  should  therefore  keep  a  watchful  eye 
over  the  whereabouts  and  associates  of  the  "angel 
child,"  and  not  allow  it  in  secluded  cosy  nooks  with 
older  children.  A  careful  watch  should  be  kept  over 
nurse-girls.  Children  under  twelve,  and  even  under 
six,  need  chaperons  almost  as  much  as  those  just  past 
puberty. 

Parents  should  take  pains    that  the  "angel  child" 


Criminal  Prudery.  61 

regards  them  as  confidants,  sharers  of  its  every  secret. 
If  this  had  happened  in  my  own  case,  I  might  have 
been  spared  a  world  of  woe  after  puberty.  To  pre- 
serve the  frankness  of  the  "angel  child,"  not  even 
a  mild  rebuke  should  ever  be  administered  for  its 
sexual  lapses;  but  kind  persuasion  alone,  and  care 
that  the  child  does  not  again  come  into  exciting  sur- 
roundings. 

My  own  parents  and  teachers  never  vouchsafed 
the  least  sex  knowledge.  I  once  asked  where  babies 
came  from.  Doctors  found  them  in  the  street  gutters 
and  brought  them  to  people's  houses.  Instinct  and 
older  boys  were  my  only  instructors.  Parents,  teach- 
ers, but  preferably  the  school  physician,  should  begin 
with  children  of  six  a  clean  initiation  into  these  myster- 
ies— absorbing  even  to  youngsters  of  that  tender  age — 
to  replace  the  hitherto  regnant  nasty  one  wrought  by 
child  lore  handed  down,  from  mouth  to  mouth,  through 
the  centuries,  and  characterized  by  unprintable  words, 
in  uttering,  seeing,  and  hearing  which  numerous 
children  seem  to  take  delight. 

Or  is  the  subject  of  sex  irreformable  and  hope- 
less?   Is  it  really  the  crying  shame  of  the  human  race? 

From  my  third  to  seventh  year,  F'ank  and  I  were 
drawn  toward  one  another.  I  yearned  to  recline  in 
his  arms.  "F'ank,"  I  once  said,  "I'm  not  af'aid  on 
your  lap.  But  I'm  af'aid  nearly  always.  I'm  af'aid, 
when  I  get  as  big  as  papa,  hair  '11  grow  on  my  cheeks, 
like  on  his.  How  could  I  ever  use  a  horrible  wazor, 
like  him !    I  hope  I'll  die  before  I  get  big !" 

I  was  destined  to  be  a  sort  of  pet  with  others  of 
the  more  stalwart  boys.  It  was  because  I  retained  my 
babyishness — like  an  idiot — at  least  down  to  the  age 


62  A  Wee  Girl-Boy's  Outlook  on  Life. 

of  seven,  and  was,  besides,  girlish.  I  commonly  felt 
myself  a  little  girl  and  told  playmates  to  call  me  Jen- 
nie. They  have  remarked  that  I  was  "more  girl  than 
boy."  Adults,  however,  were  blind  to  my  bisexuality. 
They  ridiculed  me  for  carrying  a  doll  in  my  arms 
when  I  took  a  walk ;  etc.  Because  I  was  the  only  child 
of  my  set  thus  violently  crossed,  I  was  the  most  un- 
happy. Taunts  sometimes  drove  me  to  throw  myself 
on  the  floor,  bang  my  head,  and  exclaim:  "I  wish  I 
were  dead !" 

But,  on  the  whole,  my  early  childhood  was  happy. 
With  F'ank  I  would  play  "papa  and  mamma."  He 
would  "go  to  business,"  while  I  took  care  of  the  dolls; 
etc.  I  made  and  laundered  their  wardrobes.  One  day 
a  sudden  shower  surprised  me.  Gazing  at  the  ill- 
fated  wash  on  the  line,  I  sobbed:  "Oh  it  yains!  It 
yains !    And  my  c'ose  '11  get  wet !" 

The  day  of  thoroughgoing  disillusionment  came 
early  in  my  seventh  year.  It  was  the  style  for  boys  to 
wear  skirts  up  to  that  age.  How  I  loved  them !  And 
I  never  expected  to  clothe  myself  otherwise.  Even 
down  to  my  middle  forties,  I  have  always  felt  more  at 
home  in  skirts. 

Then  I  wasn't  to  be  allowed  to  go  through  life  as 
a  girl  and  a  woman?  I  was  up  against  the  choice  of 
spending  the  rest  of  life  in  my  bedroom,  or  drawing 
on  a  pair  of  the  utterly  loathed  breeches.  At  first  it 
was  the  same  as  if  I  had  to  go  on  the  street  in  my 
underclothes.  I  would  dodge  behind  a  tree  when  an 
acquaintance  hove  in  sight.  How  poignantly  I  missed 
petticoats  as  a  screen  for  my  shameful  nether  limbs! 
Not  to  mention  the  deprivation  of  the  pleasure  of  feel- 
ing them  dangling  about  my  knees. 


How  I  Came  to  Be  a  Female-Impersonator.        63 


II.     School  Days. 

First  year:  How  terrible  the  aspect  of  the  big 
brick  academy!  How  awe-inspiring  the  smell  of  the 
newly  varnished  floor  on  the  first  day  of  my  school 
life!  How  my  heart  jumped  to  my  throat  whenever  I 
caught  the  cold,  stern  eye  of  the  school-marm  piercing 
through  my  own  little  self!  How  bold  and  bad  and 
rough  all  the  boys  were!  Why  must  I  sit  with  them 
and  enter  by  their  door  when  I  so  longed  to  be  with  the 
gentle  and  soft- voiced  girls? 

And  could  I  ever  bring  myself  to  see  what  was  on 
the  other  side  of  the  sign:  "For  boys  only"?  What 
right  had  /  there?  For  I  already  recognized  I  was 
really  not  a  boy!  At  that  age  I  gloated  over  being  a 
girl-boy. 

There  was  thus  provision  for  the  comfort  of  the 
boys.  There  was  provision  for  the  comfort  of  the 
girls.  But  architects  have  never  thought  to  make 
provision  for  the  girl-boys ! 

The  first  week  I  suffered  terribly  rather  than  in- 
vade the  retreat  barred  to  all  but  boys.  Then  an  un- 
printable experience  right  at  my  desk  afforded  the 
room  a  good  laugh  and  sent  me  home  for  dry  clothing. 
I  now  preferred  the  horror  of  the  retreat  to  being 
laughed  at  and  sent  home.  But  I  made  a  virtue  of 
haste  and  watched  for  a  moment  when  no  other  boy 
was  out. 

Second  year:  I  sat  on  a  rear  seat  with  a  boy 
whom  I  stared  at  and  touched  because  of  the  softness 
and  radiance  of  his  hair,  the  rich  red  of  his  cheeks, 


64  Sexual  Precocity. 

and  his  sturdy  build.  Now  and  then  we  kissed  when 
no  one  was  looking.  But  once  a  loud  smack  reverber- 
ated just  after  the  near-sighted  school-marm  had  re- 
quested such  stillness  that  one  could  hear  a  pin  drop. 
As  she  had  never  been  kissed  by  a  person  of  the  op- 
posite sex,  she  considered  a  smack  the  unpardonable 
sin.  My  hero-boy  took  his  whipping  with  a  cynical 
smile.    But  I  wept  for  a  half -hour. 

Third  year:  I  was  caught  in  an  immeasurably 
worse  impropriety1  under  a  desk.  The  teacher  thought 
my  parents  ought  to  know.  Violently  angry,  my 
father  hammered  my  body  with  the  heel  of  a  boot. 
In  a  dozen  years,  not  one  of  my  numerous  brothers  and 
sisters  (although  I  was  the  only  goody-goody  one) 
suffered  such  a  thrashing.  All  the  rest  of  my  home  life, 
father  treated  me  the  worst  of  all,  notwithstanding  I 
far  excelled  in  school-work.  What  a  trial  to  have  a 
girl-boy  son?  Why  had  I  ever  been  born?  Subse- 
quently there  existed  a  lifelong  coolness  between 
father  and  me. 

Fourth  year:  [A  typical  spring  afternoon.] 
After  school,  the  west  playground  was  thronged  with 
boys.  I  alone  hastened  directly  to  the  street,  embar- 
rassed as  a  little  girl  alone  with  two  hundred  boys. 
One  calls  out :  "Ralph,  hurry  to  the  girls'  yard  where 
you  belong!"  Another:  "Ralph,  your  legs  are  as 
shapely  as  a  girl's.  You  would  make  a  goodlooking 
girl !"  A  third  throws  his  arms  around  me  and  ex- 
claims :    "Kissing  you  is  as  good  as  kissing  a  girl !" 

My  embarrassment  prevented  my  relishing  these 
attentions  at  the  moment.  But  I  always  gloated  over 
them  after  I  got  to  bed. 

i  Fellatio. 


Nature  Indicated  Rearing  as  a  Girl.  65 

I  had  not  quite  reached  the  gate  when  a  ball  rolled 
to  my  feet  and  the  players  shouted  for  it.  With  beet- 
red  face  on  account  of  what  I  knew  would  be  said,  I 
gave  the  ball  an  awkward  toss.  "Hah  hah  hah !  You 
throw  just  like  a  girl!     Miss  Nancy!" 

Often  I  went  around  Robin  Hood's  barn  to  avoid 
this  particular  embarrassment. 

Arrived  in  the  girls'  yard,  I  felt  as  if  freed  from 
captivity  and  in  my  proper  element.  Shyness  and 
fright  gave  way  to  gleefulness.  Moreover,  I  cared 
only  for  the  less  strenuous  games  of  the  gentle  sex. 

Several  boys  mounted  the  high  fence  in  order  to 
tease  me.  "Ralph,  I  promise  you  my  sister's  doll  car- 
riage to  push  to  school !"....  "Heigh,  Miss  Werther, 
have  you  finished  the  mitten  I  saw  you  knitting?".  .  . . 
"Say,  Ralph,  give  me  a  kiss,  will  you  ?" 

While  with  girls,  I  liked  nothing  better  than  sucn 
bantering.  I  outgirled  them  in  our  reaction  to  the 
boys'  teasing.  We  finally  succeeded  in  provoking  the 
boys  to  chase  us — my  wish  all  along.  To  be  chased  by 
boys  was  the  highest  of  childhood's  pleasures. 

I  was  always  the  ringleader  of  my  girl  clique, 
never  reflecting  on  its  unnaturalness.  They  never  re- 
garded me  as  a  normal  boy — only  a  "girl-boy."  We 
would  even  discuss  our  boy  favorites. 

Fifth  year:  My  parents  thought  that  if  I  were 
shut  up  closely  with  boys  and  away  from  even  the  sight 
of  girls,  I  would  be  cured  of  my  effeminacy.  Thus  my 
fifth  to  eleventh  years  of  school  life  were  staged  at  a 
boys'  "prep"  several  miles  from  my  home  village  and 
numbering  about  a  hundred  students.  But  I  was  only 
a  day-pupil  except  during  my  senior  year. 


66  Childhood  Female-Impersonation. 

The  first  week,  it  was  an  ordeal  on  a  par  with 
being  forced  into  breeches.  I  was  in  a  state  of  chronic 
fright.  When  addressed,  my  reply  was  inaudible  six 
feet  away.  But  after  becoming  well-acquainted  with 
class-mates,  I  have  seated  myself  on  their  laps  right  in 
the  school-room.    For  they  appeared  demigods. 

They  would  run  a  hand  up  my  arm.  "Your  skin 
is  softer  than  velvet.  And  your  pencils  look  as  if  you 
had  chewed  them  off  with  your  teeth.  And  what 
makes  you  scream  when  a  fellow  merely  touches  you? 
Ralph,  you  certainly  ought  to  have  been  born  a  girl! 
You  will  never  make  a  man !" 

On  holidays  I  would  run  off  to  the  house  of  a  girl 
friend.  With  several  of  the  gentle  sex,  I  would  play 
hide-and-seek  in  remote  nooks,  as  hay-mows.  Later 
I  would  exchange  clothing  with  one,  and  we  would  seek 
boy  acquaintances  that  I  might  display  my  skill  in 
female-impersonation. 

Adult  intimates  would  point  the  finger  of  scorn 
in  vain.  To  pass  life  as  far  as  possible  like  a  girl  was 
the  very  essence  of  existence,  for  which  I  was  willing 
to  sacrifice  everything  else. 

The  instinctive  manner  of  coasting  is  a  criterion 
of  psychic  sex.  Every  boy  of  my  set,  excepting  my- 
self, rode  bellyflops — too  strenuous  for  the  soft- 
muscled  and  timid  girls.  As  I  possessed  their  physical 
and  psychic  softness,  I  also  coasted  upright. 

In  ascending  the  hill,  I  kept  with  the  girls.  I 
enjoyed  talking  about  only  their  interests.  As  the 
boys  passed,  they  would  call  out:  "Girl-boy!  Mollie 
Coddle!" 

One  afternoon,  two  snow  forts  were  built  fifty  feet 
apart.    All  the  boys,  excepting  myself,  took  their  stand 


Outlook  on  Life  at  Eleven.  67 

bravely  behind  the  breastworks  and  rained  snowballs 
on  the  defenders  of  the  opposite  fort.  The  girls  were 
almost  prostrate  in  the  deep  snow  behind — out  of 
danger  of  being  hit  in  the  face — packing  snowballs  for 
the  throwers.  And  I,  girl-boywise,  did  as  they,  the 
eternal  impropriety  never  dawning  on  me. 

But  one  of  the  girls  cried  out :  "Why  are  you  not 
throwing  snowballs  with  the  boys?  Afraid  of  getting 
hit,  are  you?    Why  don't  you  put  on  petticoats?" 

After  I  retired  that  night,  I  had  not  yet  recovered 
from  my  speechless  chagrin.  "Why  was  it  that  I  was 
not  taking  a  boy's  place  in  life?  Why  did  I  sit  upright 
when  coasting?  Why  did  I  feel  more  at  home  in  girls' 
attire?  Why  did  the  boys  tease  me  just  as  they  did  the 
girls?  Could  it  be  that  I  was  a  girl  imprisoned  in  the 
body  of  a  boy? 

"How  could  I  face  manhood?  Are  men  under 
compulsion  to  go  and  vote?  But  how  could  I  push  my 
way  into  the  crowd  of  rough  men  always  hanging  [at 
that  period]  around  the  polling  places? 

"How  terrible  to  be  a  boy!  Couldn't  I  take  papa's 
razor  and  in  a  minute  rid  myself  of  the  excrescence? 
A  razor  ought  to  be  sharp  enough  to  do  the  job!  0 
God,  change  my  body  this  moment  by  a  miracle !  Turn 
me  into  a  girl !"  I  sobbed. 

One  day,  being  a  goody-goody,  I  had  felt  it  my 
duty  to  tell  the  teacher  on  a  mischievous  boy.  As  I 
left  the  school  for  my  train,  I  was  seized  violently. 
"If  you  were  a  big,  strong  fellow  like  us,  we  would 
give  you  a  good  thrashing!  We'll  only  see  if  we  ccn 
lift  you  off  the  ground  by  your  hair.  The  more  you 
cry,  the  better  we  like  it.     Keep  your  hands  down! 


68  Girl-Boys'  Reasons  for  Suicide. 

Slap!      Slap!      Slap!      And  stop  carrying  your  books 
on  your  arm  like  a  girl !" 

When  they  let  go  their  grip,  I  started  off  on  a  run, 
only  one  boy  pursuing  and  shouting  out  threats.  I 
shall  now  reveal  the  girl-boy's  patented  secret  for  get- 
ting out  of  a  predicament.  I  sprinted  to  the  porch 
of  the  first  house,  gave  the  door-bell  several  violent 
jerks,  and  shrieked  for  help. 

Sixth  year :  I  was  absorbed  in  fashioning  a  doll's 
dress.  An  older  sister  angrily  exclaimed :  "Why  don't 
you  get  out  on  the  ball-field  like  all  other  boys  ?  I  hate 
effeminate  boys!  Mother,  I'm  afraid  Ralph  is  not 
normal !" 

At  the  moment  I  felt  ashamed  ever  to  look  my 
disgusted  sister  in  the  face  again.  So  ashamed  that  I 
wanted  to  kill  myself.  (One  of  my  girl-boy  playmates, 
because  bitterly  persecuted  on  account  of  his  effemina- 
cy, actually  committed  suicide  at  twelve  by  swallowing 
rat  poison.)  "I  not  normal?  What  did  my  sister 
mean?  Could  she  have  had  in  mind  my  queer  habit 
of  sitting  on  the  boys'  laps?  I  was  the  only  boy  that 
acted  so  queerly.  I  had  not  realized  it  could  be  de- 
scribed as  'abnormal.'  " 

On  another  occasion,  I  was,  with  two  brothers, 
skirting  a  creek  on  the  way  to  the  swimming-hole.  We 
came  to  a  row  of  stepping-stones.  My  brothers  trotted 
across  several  times.  But  I  lacked  the  courage  even  to 
set  foot  on  the  first. 

We  found  several  "shavers"  in  the  swimming-hole. 
My  two  brothers  joined  them.  But  I  liked  only  to 
recline  on  the  bank  and  feast  my  eyes.  I  would  as 
soon  have  stripped  before  boys  as  would  a  little  girl. 


"/  Want  to  Die!"  69 

I  only  got  a  sight  of  the  swimming-hole  because  I  had 
brothers. 

For  the  first  time  it  occurred  to  a  "shaver"  to 
strip  and  duck  me.  My  brothers  were  ashamed  of  my 
being  a  girl-boy  and  thought  it  would  contribute 
toward  making  a  man  of  me. 

"Stop  your  screeching,  Ralph!  You've  got  to  be 
stripped  so  we  can  see  if  you  are  a  real  boy!  Stop 
your  scratching,  or  we'll  give  you  a  black  eye ! . . . .  Now 
let's  dip  him  under  to  stop  his  yelling!.  .  .  .  You  can't 
come  around  the  swimming-hole  any  more  unless  you 
get  into  the  water  with  the  rest  of  us ! . . . .  Cry-baby ! 
Cry-baby !  You're  a  hopeless  case ! . . . .  Clear  out  of 
here!" 

I  half-way  dressed  and  ran  off  in  terror.  Their 
driving  home  the  fact  that  I  was  a  hopeless  sexual 
cripple  brought  on  such  melancholia  as  I  had  never 
before  experienced.  I  repeatedly  blubbered  out  as  I 
ran :    "I  want  to  die !    I  want  to  die !" 


70       How  I  Came  to  Be  a  Female-Impersonator. 


III.    An  Androgyne's  Youth. 

It  was  not  until  my  sixteenth  year  that  I  came  to 
a  full  realization  that  I  am  a  male  in  name  only.  I  had 
always  recognized  my  girllikeness  and  wished  Nature 
had  created  me  a  female.  At  the  same  time  I  had, 
during  my  early  teens,  sometimes  reflected  that  I 
would  outgrow  all  my  feminine  predilections  and  be 
a  normal  man.  But  at  fifteen  my  bust  development 
made  me  think  that  perhaps  God  at  last  was  answering 
my  fervent  prayers,  around  the  age  of  nine,  to  be 
changed  into  a  physical  girl.  For  I  was  already  one 
psychicly. 

In  my  middle  teens,  my  desire  changed  radically, 
due  chiefly  to  my  having  just  become  a  God-intoxicated 
youth,  with  the  work  of  a  missionary  in  China  as  my 
goal.  I  now  prayed  far  more  intensely  for  full-fledged 
manhood  than  I  ever  had  for  physical  femininity. 

Superficially  and  according  to  man-made  law,  ul< 
tra-androgynes  are  men.  According  to  the  unabridged 
dictionary,  they  are  neither  men  nor  women. 
That  is,  they  are  capable  neither  of  begetting  nor  con- 
ceiving. But  in  respect  to  mind  and  feelings,  in  res- 
pect to  their  protoplasm — and  thus  essentially — they 
are  women. 

Being  neither  male  nor  female,  with  whom  do  an- 
drogynes associate?  Up  to  the  dawning  of  puberty, 
pronounced  specimens — like  myself — gravitate  to- 
ward the  gentle  sex.  As  soon  as  the  sexual  life  is  fully 
developed,   the  vast  majority    (not  happening  to  be 


A  'Village  Fairie.  71 

overconscientious  and  ultra-puritan)  give  that  sex  the 
widest  berth  and  lean  on  the  bosoms  of  the  ultra  or  tre- 
mendously virile  of  their  acquaintance.  But  they 
never  join  in  the  sports  of  the  sturdy  sex.  For  in 
athletics,  they  are  as  awkward  as  girls,  and  besides 
lack  the  necessary  physique. 

But  Nature  happened  to  make  me  over-conscien- 
tious, and  my  training  was  ultra-puritan.  While,  after 
I  entered  my  teens,  I  was  ashamed  longer  to  make  my- 
self one  with  girl  acquaintances,  and  besides  was  vi- 
olently repelled  by  our  both  approaching  the  full-flower 
of  our  sexuality,  my  now  looking  upon  my  attraction 
towards  youths  as  the  most  heinous  of  sins,  together 
with  my  aversion  from  masculine  interests,  forbade 
association  with  boys  outside  the  schoolroom.  Thus 
from  the  age  of  thirteen  to  eighteen,  I  endured  an  al- 
most companionless  existence  outside  the  home,  the 
schoolroom,  and  the  church  edifice.  I  did  occasionally 
take  a  walk  with  an  androgyne  of  my  own  age,  goody- 
goodiness,  education,  and  social  standing.  He,  how- 
ever, was  not  religious  or  of  puritan  parentage,  and 
was  even  then  extensively  promiscuous  with  the  eco- 
nomically better  class  of  the  village's  youthful 
"sports." 

I  myself  turned  away  in  deep  shame  from  the 
propositions  of  tremendously  virile  youths,  although 
secretly  I  would  rather  have  yielded  than  do  anything 
else  at  all.  At  middle  life,  I  have  had  doubts  as  to 
whether  I  did  the  right  thing  in  resisting.  I  believe  my 
health  and  happiness  were  tremendously  impaired  by 
my  ultra-puritan  views  which  made  me  obstinate  be- 
fore Nature's  behests.  On  the  other  hand,  through 
yielding  I  would  have  lost  my  reputation  and  probably 


72        Mine  the  Most  Melancholy  of  Youthhoods. 

been  barred  from  "prep"  and  university.  I  was  ex- 
pelled from  the  latter  as  soon  as  the  faculty  learned 
that  I  lived  according  to  Nature's  behests.  The  uni- 
versity training  is,  of  course,  worth  erotic  pleasures 
ten-thousand  times  over.  But  during  the  first  two 
years  of  my  college  course,  my  health  and  happiness 
(as  recounted  in  my  Autobiography  of  an  Andro- 
gyne) were  sorely  wrecked  by  abstinence.  Does  the 
wrong  not  after  all  lie  in  the  groundless  intolerance  of 
"prep"  and  university  for  androgynes  who  obey 
Nature's  demands,  and  fill,  in  an  unobtrusive  manner, 
the  niche  in  the  universe  for  which  the  Great  Architect 
predestined  them? 

Thus  being  excluded  from  the  pastimes  of  both 
the  recognized  sexes  and  from  their  joint  social  inter- 
course— on  account  of  my  belonging  to  a  third  and  out- 
cast sex — I  found  my  only  recreation  from  an  ultra- 
studious  college-preparatory  life  in  long  walks  on 
country  roads,  during  which  I  often  brooded  because 
Providence  had  consigned  me  to  membership  in  the 
third  sex.  From  the  age  of  thirteen  to  eighteen,  I 
endured  the  most  melancholy  existence  I  have  ever 
heard  or  read  of.1 

1  Particularly  during  my  teens,  I  have  worried  and  grieved 
a  thousand  times  as  much  as  the  average  individual.  I  say 
for  the  solace  of  fellow  melancholiacs  who  retain  their  reason 
that  at  my  present  age  of  forty-seven,  I  show  not  the  least 
sign  of  thinning  or  whitening  hair.  But  this  may  be  due  to 
my  being  an  ultra-androgyne,  a  subspecies  blessed  with  per- 
ennial youth.  Strangely  also  in  my  own  case  intense  grief 
(except  the  agonies  in  my  Garden  of  Gethsemane,  for  which 
see  close  of  this  chapter)  has  seemed  to  put  physical  strength 
into  my  usually  weak  body.  I  feel  also  that  it  sharpens  my  wits 
and  adds  to  my  wisdom  and  literary  ability.  "There's  not  an 
ill  wind  but  blows  some  good." 

At  the  age  of  forty-seven  my  conviction  is  that  great 
sorrows,  after  the   lapse   of  a  score  of  years,  are  recognized 


Reasons  for  Melancholia.  73 

Can  the  reader  conjure  up  any  worse  fate  for  a 
youth  than  to  make  the  startling  discovery  that  he, 
though  extremely  conscientious  and  offenceless,  is  a 
type  of  sexual  cripple  that  has  always  been  regarded 
by  the  sexually  full-fledged — because  of  their  ignor- 
ance and  Phariseeism — as  the  lowest  of  the  low,  a 
monster  of  wickedness,  and  an  outcast  from  society? 

Can  the  reader  conjure  up  any  worse  fate  for  a 
girl — and  a  very  high-strung  one — than  for  Nature  to 
disguise  her  as  a  boy,  and  foreordain  that  she  should 
be  brought  up  as  a  boy  and  be,  at  school,  office,  etc.,  al- 
ways shut  up  with  the  sterner  sex? 

Can  the  reader  conjure  up  any  worse  fate  for  a 
girl  than  to  be  doomed  to  pass  through  life  incarnated 
in  a  male  body?  How  grief -provoking  for  a  made- 
moiselle to  be  cursed  with  a  slight  growth  of  hair  on  lip 

to  have  been  blessings  in  disguise.  My  life  experience  has 
demonstrated  that  "there  is  a  Providence  that  shapes  our  ends, 
rough-hew  them  as  we  will."  My  life  experience  has  demon- 
strated that  the  biblical  teachings  about  human  life  are  in 
general  true,  and  that  either  the  Christian  or  Jewish  religion 
is  practically  necessary  to  save  from  despair  and  suicide  men 
and  women  foreordained  to  drain  the  cup  of  anguish  to  the 
dregs.  My  personal  faith  in  Christian  doctrine,  and  my  habit, 
instilled  in  infancy,  of  "taking  everything  to  God  in  prayer," 
have  saved  me  from  suicide  a  thousand  times  and  made  the 
deepest  of  sorrows  tolerable. 

The  upshot  of  my  very  exceptional  life  experience  is: 
(1)  "Praise  God  from  whom  all  blessings  flow;"  and  (2) 
Even  pain,  sorrow,  and  death  are  blessings  in  disguise.  The 
heart  of  the  universe  is  beneficent. 

As  I  have  had  an  unusual  religious  experience,  one  of  the 
numerous  books  I  plan  to  write,  if  my  life  is  spared,  will  be 
entitled:  MY  SPIRITUAL  AUTOBIOGRAPHY.  I  have  made 
many  discoveries  in  religion  and  ethics  which  I  long  to  proclaim 
to  the  world.  As  already  stated,  I  have  always  been  ultra-re- 
ligious and  a  deep  student  of  the  Bible.  Another  book  I  plan 
to  write  will  be  entitled:  THE  BIBLE  AND  THE  SEXUAL  IN- 
STINCT. In  the  latter  I  will  seek  to  demolish  the  Church's 
chief  stumbling-block.  As  already  stated,  I  was  cut  out  for  a 
preacher. 


74  Early  Consciousness  of  Deformity. 

or  cheeks !  Only  a  trifling  male  stigma !  How  much 
more  heart-rending  for  a  mademoiselle  to  possess  the 
male  physique  to  such  an  extent  that  even  all  physi- 
cians (except  a  handful  of  sexologists)  with  their 
present  lack  of  knowledge — or  rather  their  closing 
their  eyes  to  all  evidence — would  declare  her  a  male, 
and  prescribe  that  she  should  in  life  fill  the  latter  role. 

Such  was  my  chronic  burden  almost  throughout 
my  teens.  (Subsequently,  with  the  exception  of  brief 
spells  of  melancholia,  I  became  reconciled  to  my  fate.) 
And  such  is  the  burden  imposed  by  Nature  on  one 
youth  out  of  every  three  hundred  in  every  social  set 
of  every  country  in  the  world.  But  because  of  my  in- 
tellectuality, high-class  environment,  and  extreme  an- 
drogynism,  my  grief  was  exceptionally  intense.  I  do 
not  believe  the  mildly  androgynous  are  melancholy 
during  their  teens.  They  have  not  yet  become  con- 
scious that  they  are  abnormal. 

My  chronic  lamentation  during  my  seventeenth  to 
nineteenth  years  was :  "Miserable  wretch !  Miserable 
wretch !  Miserable  wretch !  That's  all  I  am !  I  was 
born  with  a  deformed  nature,  despicable  in  the  eyes  of 
all  people !  I  am  a  soft  effeminate  youth  who  is  wanted 
nowhere !  I  am  ashamed  to  look  any  one  in  the  face ! 
I  feel  like  putting  an  end  to  my  life,  or  else  losing  my- 
self, to  all  who  know  who  I  am,  in  a  distant  city  where 
I  could  live  according  to  my  queer  nature.  I  have 
nothing  to  live  for !  I  may  be  disgraced,  disgrace  my 
family,  be  compelled  to  flee,  be  disowned  by  my 
parents,  be  cursed  and  be  despised  throughout  the 
land!" 

An  older  sister  frequently  vented  her  spite  on  me 
because  of  her  disgust  at  my  effeminacy.     The  Sunday 


Horror  of  Fire-arms.  75 

school  picnic  in  my  seventeenth  year  led  up  to  one  of 
the  greatest  sorrows  of  my  youth.  "You  little  cow- 
ard!" my  sister  the  next  day  began.  "Even  eight- 
year-old  George  has  more  pluck!  I  was  so  mortified 
to  see  you  the  only  boy  to  refuse  to  pick  up  the  rifle  in 
the  shooting  contest!  The  others  could  hardly  wait 
their  turn.  And  to-day  you  do  look  like  a  freak  in  that 
pink  ruffled  shirt!  And  with  your  hair  banged! 
Trying  to  doll  yourself  up  as  much  like  a  girl  as  you 
can,  are  you?" 

"I  am,  too,  so  ashamed  of  your  bangs,  Ralph !"  my 
mother  chimed  in.  "They  make  you  look  as  if  you 
didn't  know  anything!" 

"Mother,  make  him  go  to  C's  party  next  Wednes- 
day. He  stays  away  from  all  gatherings  of  young 
people.     He  will  grow  up  a  boor." 

"I  would  rather  be  thrashed  than  go  to  any  party ! 
I  do  not  like  to  pay  gallantries  to  women !" 

"You  will  never  make  a  man  unless  you  do,  son. 
I  insist  that  you  go  to  C's  party." 

Wednesday  evening  arrived,  and  with  two  score 
youngsters,  I  was  lounging  in  C's  parlors.  My  older 
sister  had  managed  to  have  me  escort  a  girl.  Unfor- 
tunate female,  to  be  attended  by  one  of  her  own  sex 
whom  Nature  had  disguised  as  a  man ! 

It  was  extreme  torture  to  have  to  go  into  society 
and  put  myself  forward  as  a  gallant.  Accordingly  I 
grasped  the  first  opportunity  to  escape  to  the  garden. 
I  could  look  into  the  brilliantly  lighted  drawing-rooms 
filled  with  the  youthful  merry-makers.  The  spectacle 
moved  me  to  tears. 

"To  think  that  Providence  permits  to  all  young 
people  excepting  myself  the  joys  of  love  and  courtship ! 


76  I  Become  a  Religious  Prodigy. 

Because  if  I  followed  my  inclinations  along  these  lines, 
people  would  call  me  a  monster  and  I  would  be  a 
pariah  I1 

"I  wish  I  might  get  away  from  the  world  and  live 
as  a  hermit !  Then  I  would  in  a  way  be  unsexed,  and 
would  be  so  regarded  by  the  world. 

"People  see  that  I  am  an  effeminate  youth!  An 
effeminate  youth !  And  my  sister  has  often  expressed 
her  disgust  for  that  type !     Who  can  like  them? 

"I  feel  that  there  is  nothing  which  can  henceforth 
give  me  interest  in  life !  I  feel  so  mortified  that  I  am 
a  girl-boy !     Oh  it  looks  as  if  there  were  no  God !" 


At  fifteen  I  developed  into  a  religious  prodigy. 
Until  my  debut  as  a  quasi-public  female-impersonator 
at  nineteen,  I,  though  the  most  melancholy  person  of 
my  community,  was  active  in  church  work.  During 
these  four  years,  I  attended  seven  religious  services  a 
week  (exclusive  of  college  chapel  every  morning  dur- 
ing two  of  these  years)  and  from  fifteen  to  seventeen, 
spent  two  hours  a  day  in  private  devotions  in  addition. 
As  early  as  fifteen,  I  was  the  leader  of  prayer  meet- 
ings. I  preached  from  the  pulpit  a  dozen  times  at 
nineteen — a  few  months  before  I  relinquished  all 
Church  work  because  instinct  drove  me  to  female-im- 
personation. All  the  ultra-pious  of  my  ultra-puritan 
entourage  predicted  for  me  a  great  career  as  a  herald 

1  After  my  conversion  at  fifteen,  I  fought  against  my 
sexual  attraction  toward  schoolmates  as  few  others  have 
struggled  against  the  ruling  passion.  I  was  no  longer  a  co- 
quette, although  desiring  as  much  as  ever  to  be  such.  My  pas- 
sion for  loud  apparel,  however,  was  not  suppressed  since  I  did 
not  recognize  in  it  any  sin. 


My  Life's  Motto.  77 

of  Christianity — to  which  vocation  I  had  already  at 
fifteen  dedicated  my  life. 

Thus  as  early  as  fifteen,  I  was  frequently  called 
upon  to  lead  the  congregation  in  extemporaneous 
prayer.  Usually  my  key-note  (for  my  private  prayers 
as  well)  was  my  life's  motto,  which  I  adopted  at  fif- 
teen: 

"My  times  are  in  Thy  hand, 

Whatever  they  may  be ; 

Pleasing  or  painful, 

Dark  or  bright, 

As  best  may  seem  to  Thee!" 

Tears  would  course  down  my  cheeks  and  my  voice 
tremble  with  emotion.  I  never  failed  to  remember 
that  I  had  the  greatest  need  of  all  for  the  rest  for 
which  I  pleaded  and  which  Jesus  has  promised  to  give 
"the  oppressed  and  heavy  laden." 

After  service,  all  other  youths  escorted  a  girl 
home  and  lingered  over  the  gate  for  blissful  conversa- 
tion. But  I  had  the  habit  of  making  my  solitary  way 
to  a  desolate  abandoned  graveyard  whose  latest  head- 
stone was  set  up  in  the  twenties  of  the  nineteenth 
century. 

Behold  my  Garden  of  Gethsemane,  where  not 
merely  once,  but  once  each  week,  I  would  throw  myself 
on  a  grass-covered  grave,  writhe  in  an  agony  of  moans, 
and  even  shriek.  All  my  muscles  seemed  to  be  rigid, 
and  my  fists  were  clinched.  I  would  dig  my  finger- 
nails into  my  palms,  and  throw  my  arms  about  wildly. 

"Change  my  nature,  0  God,"  I  would  cry.  "This 
very  moment.  By  a  miracle.  Give  me  the  mind  and 
powers  of  a  man. 


78 


My  Temptations  Hardly  Equalled. 


"Am  I  being  'tried  by  fire,'  as  the  Bible  predicts 
for  God's  children?  Are  others  so  tried  by  fire  as  I 
have  been  nearly  all  my  life?" 

[After  half-a-century  of  rare  opportunities  to 
learn  human  nature,  I  have  ascertained  that  I  was 
tried  worse  than  any  one  else  I  have  heard  of — that  is, 
by  torture  of  sexual  desire  that  must  not  be  gratified, 
and  practically  was  not  from  seven  to  eighteen,  inclu- 
sive. I  was  tried  by  fire  a  hundred  times  as  hot  as  the 
average  person  ever  knows.  Probably  so  hot  because 
of  my  intense  fairie-ism  from  two  to  six.  I  believe  I 
have,  for  years  together,  resisted  lust  many  times  as 
intense  as  the  average  person  ever  knows.] 


My  Garden  of  Gethsemane 


In  My  Garden  of  Gethsemane.  79 

"I  am  experiencing  the  enslaving  power  of  sin. 
I  now  know  how  to  sympathize  with  poor  drunkards 
and  harlots.  I  will  flog  and  starve  myself  in  order  to 
conquer  my  flesh.  [I  actually  fasted  and  flagellated 
myself  to  ascertain  the  effect  in  deadening  my  amor- 
ousness but  found  these  religious  exercises  useless.] 

"I  feel  to-night  that  I  can  never  become  a  preach- 
er of  the  Gospel.  I  feel  that  I  must  give  up  all  plans 
for  a  noble  career,  and  that  maybe  I  shall  come  to  a 
disgraceful  end ! 

"Oh  that  all  instinct  would  die  in  me!  It  makes 
my  life  miserable.  How  gladly  would  I  be  free  from 
all  desire  so  that  I  could  make  a  name  for  myself  in 
the  world!  An  extreme  girl-boy  can  hardly  become 
a  scholar  and  a  preacher. 

"Is  it  my  divinely  appointed  task  to  learn  the 
lesson  of  resignation  in  affliction?  To  feel  myself 
crushed  to  earth  by  the  Almighty  Hand?  Like  Isaac, 
to  be  tried  in  order  to  see  whether  I  am  willing  to  be 
slain  in  my  youth — in  my  own  case  morally?"  a 

1 1  had  in  mind  possible  predestination  to  be  a  fille  de  joie 
— the  career  which  haunted  me,  off  and  on,  every  year  of  my 
life  after  my  second,  even  years  before  I  heard  of  the  existence 
of  such  filles.  I  had  already  had  an  intensive  five  years 
career  (third  to  seventh  years).  Another  foreshadowing  (that 
of  my  actual  career  from  my  twenty-sixth  to  fortieth  years) 
was  a  common  dream,  from  about  my  ninth  to  fourteenth 
years,  of  being  chased  through  streets  and  fields  by  youthful 
soldiers,  who  would  finally  catch  me,  and  great  terror  would 
result.  The  dream  occurred  so  often  that  in  my  waking 
hours  I  resolved,  the  next  time  I  had  that  dream,  to  tell  the 
soldier  boldly:  "I  am  not  afraid  of  you,  because  this  is  only  a 
dream!"  Repeatedly  in  my  dreams  did  I  tell  that  to  the 
soldier  who  had  grabbed  me,  but  he  replied  (as  I  dreamt): 
"You  are  mistaken.  This  is  not  a  dream.  It  is  the  real  thing!" 
And  then  I  would  become  as  terrified  as  ever.  My  dream 
would  always  end  a  second  or  two  after  being  grabbed,  and 
generally  I  would  wake  up  as  if  from  a  night-mare. 


80  Man's  Pri'dery  Almost  Fatal. 

After  an  hour  of  bitter  tears  and  heart-broken 
pleadings  to  the  Architect  of  the  universe,  I  would  be 
in  a  state  of  mental  and  physical  collapse  for  twenty- 
four  hours.  Can  the  reader  wonder  that,  weighed 
down  by  such  a  burden,  I  repeatedly  meditated  suicide 
during  these  four  terrible  years?  And  I  realize  now 
— at  middle  age — that  I  had  to  suffer  these  four  years 
of  melancholia  only  because  of  cultured  man's  mis- 
understanding of  androgynism,  prohibition  of  any' 
one's  inquiring  into  the  facts,  and  bitter  persecution 
of  androgynes.1 

Events  have  proved  that  it  was  the  policy  of  the 
All-Wise  and  All-Good  not  to  answer  my  prayers,  not- 
withstanding their  almost  unexampled  earnestness 
and  repetition.  The  Eternal  foresaw  that  it  was  to 
the  best  interests  both  of  the  human  race  and  of  my- 
self that  I  should  leave  to  others  the  coveted  work  of 
preaching  the  Gospel  to  the  heathen  and  spend  my 
physical  prime  in  New  York's  Underworld  as  an  avo- 
cational  female-impersonator.  That  was  the  cross 
that  God  willed  that  I  should  bear.  The  role  of  fe- 
male-impersonator is  the  niche  in  the  universe  that  its 
Architect  had  created  me  to  fill. 

In  middle  life  I  have  often  thought  that  Provi- 
dence mercifully  spared  me  from  suicide — the  fate  of 
so  many  youthful  androgynes  as  a  result  of  the  world's 
persecution — and  foreordained  my  career  of  female- 

1  Anglo-Saxon  leaders  of  thought  have  hitherto  been  of  the 
opinion  that  the  domain  of  sex  is  "terra  interdicta,"  just  as 
those  of  Roger  Bacon's  time  (priests  and  monks  exclusively) 
would  have  believed  it  sacrilege  to  use  a  telescope  or  micro- 
scope— "to  see  what  God  meant  man  should  never  see."  Roger, 
although  having  invented  these  instruments,  did  not  dare  tell 
his  generation  because  the  leaders  of  thought  would  have  burnt 
him  alive  for  invading  terra  interdicta. 


Innocent  Androgynes  Now  in  Prison.  81 

impersonator  that  I  might,  through  publishing  the 
present  trilogy,  remove  the  veil  of  ignorance  and  pre- 
judice as  regards  androgynism  that  now  blinds  the 
cultured,  and  occasions  terrible  persecution  to  Nature's 
inoffensive  step-children,  who  number  one  out  of  every 
two  hundred  inmates  of  our  state  prisons,  having  been 
incarcerated  merely  on  the  ground  of  homosexuality. 


82       How  I  Came  to  Be  a  Female-Impersonator. 


IV.     I  Grow  into  THE  FAIR1E  BOY. 

At  sixteen,  I  entered  a  college  in  New  York  City. 
I  alone  was  responsible  for  the  scene  of  my  university 
training.  I  had  frequently  visited  New  York  and 
wished  to  reside  there.  But  I  had  then  no  intention  of 
ever  yielding  to  my  detested  instincts  for  female-im- 
personation. I  had  not  realized  that  residence  in  a 
great  city  would  make  temptation  far  stronger  than  in 
a  village.  My  being  fated  to  make  my  home  in  New 
York  almost  throughout  my  adulthood  has  had  a  tre- 
mendous influence  on  my  life,  particularly  from  nine- 
teen to  thirty-one. 

My  father  gave  me  every  educational  advantage 
because  in  the  fairly  large  "prep"  that  I  attended 
from  my  tenth  to  sixteenth  years,  I  attained  the 
highest  scholarship  in  the  history  of  the  school.  In  an 
address  to  the  students,  the  principal  named  me  as  the 
youthful  scholar  to  be  patterned  after  by  the  other 
boys  (!   !   !). 

I  know  I  shall  be  accused  of  exaggerated  ego  for  the 
way  I  talk  about  myself  in  this  and  the  next  chapter. 
But  seven  articles  have  been  published  about  myself 
in  medical  journals,  exclusive  of  numerous  reviews  of 
my  Autobiography  of  an  Androgyne.  How  many 
people  can  go  into  a  library,  call  for  magazines,  and 
gaze  at  pictures  of  themselves  within  their  covers? 
How  many  people  have  had  a  three-volume  autobiog- 
raphy published?  With  such  a  record,  I  suspect  that 
I  am  either  insane  or  else  one  of  the  half-dozen  most 


Front  View  of  Author  at  Thirty-three 
(Photo  by  Dr.  R.  W.  Shufeldt) 


The  Author's  Brain.  83 

remarkable  sexual  curiosities  of  my  generation.  On 
the  latter  chance,  I  am  moved  to  leave  on  record  a  full 
account  of  both  my  inner  and  outer  rare  life  ex- 
perience. 

As  to  bragging  about  my  intellect,  my  experience 
of  half-a-century  is  that  in  general,  Providence  makes 
compensations  in  the  lives  of  men  so  that  as  they,  one 
by  one,  pass  on  to  the  next  world,  all  have  fared  equally 
as  concerns  Heaven-sent  boons  and  the  opposite.  As 
a  counterweight  to  having  created  me  a  bitterly  per- 
secuted sexual  cripple  (for  His  inscrutable  but  surely 
wise  ends)  the  Architect  of  the  universe  endowed  me 
with  a  brain  of  such  capacity  as  found  in  only  one  out 
of  twenty-five  university  graduates.  I  wrote  stories 
at  eight.  At  thirteen  I  was  confident  I  would  become 
an  author  and  my  name  be  chiselled  on  the  walls  of 
fame.1 

My  college  associates  commented  on  my  fem- 
inesqueness  and  infantilism.  I  perceived  that  I  was 
looked  upon  as  a  curiosity. 

I  am  a  curiosity  in  that  while  throughout  life  re- 
maining a  species  of  moron,2  certain  cerebral  lobes 
have  nevertheless  progressed  to  a  high  development 
enabling  me  to  graduate  from  a  university  almost  at 
the  head  of  my  class  notwithstanding  my  general 
psychic  infantilism  and  my  suffering  from  acute  sper- 

i  However,  as  described  in  detail  in  my  AUTOBIOGRAPHY 
OF  AN  ANDROGYNE,  the  congenital  extraordinarily  keen 
edge  on  my  intellect  was  progressively  and  permanently  dulled 
from  the  age  of  sixteen  to  twenty-three  by  emissions  during 
sleep  twice  a  week.  It  is  necessary  to  add  that  I  always  had 
acute  horror  of  self-abuse. 

2  An  adult  who  never  surpasses  the  mentality  of  a  child 
of    twelve. 


84  The  Author  a  Curiosity. 

matorrhea  and  (during  my  freshman  and  sophomore 
years)  acute  melancholia.  If  my  physical  health  had 
been  as  good  as  that  of  the  three  men  who  outstripped 
me,  I  might  have  led  my  university  class. 

I  am  a  curiosity  in  that  down  to  twenty-five,  I 
was  a  fair  specimen  of  physical  infantilism  or  lilli- 
putianism.  I  was  said  to  possess  the  skull  and  facial 
lines  of  an  infant.  Down  to  twenty-five,  I  never 
weighed  more  than  110  pounds  on  a  height  of  five  feet 
five.  Nearly  all  my  brothers  and  uncles  have  been  six- 
footers. 

I  am  a  curiosity  in  that  I  possess  the  light  female 
osseous  structure.  Even  before  I  began  to  develop 
adipose  tissue  after  twenty-five,  I  would  float  on  fresh 
water  without  moving  a  muscle,  my  observation  being 
that  the  slim  normal  boy  must  vibrate  his  hands. 

I  am  a  curiosity  in  that  form  of  skeleton  and  con- 
tour of  body  are  mostly  feminine,  particularly  the  bust. 

Not  until  the  age  of  nineteen,  when  I  went  suc- 
cessively to  two  medical  college  professors  and  im- 
plored them  to  make  me  a  complete  male,  did  I  learn 
that  practically  all  the  tissues  of  my  body  are  of  char- 
acteristically feminine  texture.  My  muscles,  judged 
by  their  weakness  and  my  using  them  in  general 
woman-fashion,  are  those  of  a  female.  The  beardal 
growth  is  normally  male  except  that  it  could  never 
reach  the  length  of  an  eighth  of  an  inch  and  has  no 
stiffness.  If  I  had  not  shaved  or  eradicated  the  beard, 
I  would  have  been,  after  seventeen,  one  of  the  dog- 
faced  boys  of  the  circus.  Although  the  hair  cells  seem 
as  dense  as  on  my  scalp,  I  could  never  have  exhibited 
virile  whiskers. 


Coddled  in  College.  85 

Another  feminine  resemblance  is  that  at  the  age 
of  half-a-century,  I  show  not  the  least  tendency  to 
baldness. 

Several  of  my  college  associates  coddled  and 
babied  me.  They  would  throw  an  arm  around  me  and 
cry:  "Child!"  They  would  hold  me  on  their  laps. 
With  the  three  ultra-virile  with  whom  I  became  most 
intimate  and  confidential,  I  would  often  in  private 
throw  myself  into  their  arms  and  pillow  my  head  on 
their  bosoms,  while  they  would  exclaim:  "Lovesick 
boy!"  They  never  betrayed  my  strange  conduct  to 
others  or  appeared  less  friendly.  Only  one  of  the 
three  made  greater  advances  than  I  myself — the  only 
one  belonging  to  the  tremendously  virile  class.  What 
chiefly  kept  me  from  even  hinting  at  extremes  was 
fear  of  expulsion  in  case  it  should  become  generally 
known.  But  I  was  also  strongly  influenced  by  the 
dictates  of  society  and  the  teaching  of  the  Bible — as  I 
then  erroneously  understood  the  latter.1 

"You  still  possess  the  real  childlike  naivete," 
students  have  remarked.  "And  you  possess  childlike 
features  to  harmonize  with  your  decidedly  childlike 
manner  of  going  about  things.  You  are  certainly 
The  Boy  Who  Never  Grew  to  Be  a  Man." 

1  One  of  my  three  confidants  achieved  the  highest  success 
in  life  of  any  student  in  college  with  me; — one  of  the  highest 
political  offices  in  the  United  States.  Down  to  forty,  I  confided 
my  homosexual  adventures,  although  after  we  graduated,  our 
personal  relations  were  never  closer  than  shaking  hands. 
Within  two  years  of  his  honorable  name's  appearing  in  absolute- 
ly every  newspaper  of  the  Union,  he  permitted  me  to  receive 
mail  addressed  to  one  of  my  aliases  (used  only  by  those  who 
knew  I  was  an  androgyne)  in  his  care.  At  the  time  I  did  not 
realize  the  favor  I  was  asking — the  risk  to  his  reputation  that 
he  unselfishly  took.  Ungrounded  scandals  sometimes  arise 
when  a  full-fledged  man  does  favors  for  an  androgyne. 


86  Childlike  and  Womanlike. 

"I  like  to  watch  you  because  of  your  childlike 
grimaces.  That  is  why  the  fellows  are  continually 
teasing  you;  because  it  is  just  like  teasing  a  child  or  a 
girl.  You  react  with  a  sort  of  pleased  childlike  pride 
at  being  the  object  of  attention." 

"Your  voice,  though  hoarse,  has  a  feminine  timbre. 
It  possesses  the  penetrating  and  carrying  power  of  a 
child's  voice.  It  often  breaks  and  changes,  sometimes 
in  the  middle  of  a  sentence.  From  being  masculine, 
it  suddenly  changes  timbre  and  becomes  decidedly  fem- 
inine, passing  over  from  a  bass  to  a  treble.  Your 
voice  is  sentimental,  bland,  caressing.  It  is  the  kind 
of  voice  a  dying  woman  would  choose  to  hear." 

"I  never  saw  the  chevelure  [as  they  shoved  their 
fingers  through  it]  so  fine  and  silklike  in  any  one  else 
who  wore  trousers.  Your  hands  [as  they  would  hold 
them]  are  as  soft  and  hairless  as  those  of  a  girl.  And 
you  have  the  arms  of  a  woman  [when  my  sleeves 
were  rolled  back].  And  you  blush  just  like  a  woman. 
And  you  sob  like  her.  I  never  saw  tears  run  down  the 
cheeks  of  any  other  man  as  he  sat  in  the  class-room." 

I  have  jokingly  replied  with  a  smile  at  my  class- 
mate's mystification :  "You  do  not  know  but  what  I  am 
a  woman !"  But  I  shrank  from  any  serious  disclosure 
of  the  secrets  of  my  sex,  such  a  mystery  to  many  of  my 
every-day  associates. 

If  I  live  to  old  age,  I  intend  to  call  the  present 
trilogy  to  the  attention  of  some  of  my  associates  of 
early  years  who  have  indicated  great  curiosity  to  know 
the  secrets  of  my  sex  life.  I  have  permitted  only  three 
friends  (of  course  the  closest)  who  know  me  under  my 
legal  name  to  read  my  Autobiography  of  an  Andro- 
gyne, and  one  of  the  three  dropped  me  from  his  friend- 


Feminine  Figure  Recognized.  87 

ship.  Men  are  so  biassed  on  the  subject  of  sex  that  I 
can  not  let  my  friends  read  the  secrets  of  my  life  until 
I  reach  an  independent  old  age  when  they  can  not  make 
me  suffer  much  on  account  of  my  androgynism. 

In  college,  I  was  compelled  to  exercise  in  the 
"gym."  I  hid  my  form.  It  was  a  terrible  ordeal  to 
have  to  strip  before  the  physical  director,  who  remark- 
ed: "Your  figure  is  feminine."  Apparently  he  did 
not  suspect  the  sexuality  that  was  bound  up  with  that 
figure.  If  military  drill  had  been  required — as  in 
1917 — I  would  have  quit  the  university.1 

Since  nineteen  my  yearning  for  skirts  has  been 
in  part  met  by  habitually  wearing  about  my  home  an 
ornamental  dressing-gown.  Thus  clad,  I  have  often 
gazed  in  a  mirror,  imagining  myself  a  complete  female. 
I  have  taken  pleasure  in  hearing  the  gown  rustle,  like 
a  silk  dress;  in  feeling  it  strike  against  my  legs;  and 
in  holding  up  the  front  in  ascending  the  stairs. 

The  Fairie  Boy  was  my  nickname  from  nineteen 
to  thirty-one  outside  my  every-day  circle.  And  out- 
side I  was  far  more  widely  known.  Inside  I  had  the 
reputation  of  being  an  insignificant,  puritan,  unprac- 
tical bookworm  and  Mollie  Coddle  who  knew  nothing 
of  life  and  human  nature.  Outside  I  achieved  wide 
notoriety  as  an  amateur  actor — or,  properly  speaking, 
actress. 

1  Some  androgynes  of  a  less  extreme  type,  however,  tolerate 
militaries.  I  know  of  two  who  served  in  the  World  War — 
because  they  wanted,  every  day  and  hour,  to  be  surrounded  by 
adored  young  Mars.  But  if  they  ever  got  to  the  front,  they 
would  probably  malinger.  I  know  of  another  androgyne  who 
was  so  afraid  of  being  drafted  that  he  took  a  hatchet  and 
chopped  off  two  fingers  of  his  right  hand.  In  the  World  War, 
I  was  subject  to  draft  under  the  latest  law.  I  had  planned  to 
escape  by  claiming  that  I  was  not  a  man,  the  law  specifying 
that  sex  alone  as   liable. 


88  Man,  Woman,  and  Infant  in  One  Body. 

That  the  distinction,  among-  the  sons  of  Adam,  of 
being  The  Fairie  Boy  came  to  me,  is  nothing  for 
which  I  can  take  credit  to  myself.  It  was  merely  be- 
cause Providence  had  made  me,  as  an  adult,  physically 
as  well  as  psychicly,  one-third  man,  one-third  woman, 
and  one-third  infant.  Providence  endowed  me  with 
a  "small-boy"  aspect,  the  subject  of  comment  in  my 
every-day  circle  down  to  my  early  forties;  freshness 
of  complexion  down  to  thirty;  innocent  expression  of 
features  and  marvellous  absence  of  animality  (in 
appearance  only)  ;  cry-baby  mentality;  eternal  child- 
likeness  even  in  my  professional  life;  and  slender, 
lithe,  and  lilliputian  figure  down  to  twenty-five. 

The  Fairie  Boy  !  To  be  frank — I  am  proud  of  the 
pretty  nickname.  This  Providential  distinction  is 
part  of  my  compensation  for  my  almost  unparalleled 
sufferings  from  persecution  at  present  inseparable 
from  the  lot  of  an  ultra-androgyne. 


Rear  View  of  Author  at  Thirty-three 
(Photo  by  Dr.  R.  W.  Shufeldt) 


How  I  Came  to  Be  a  Female-Impersonator.        89 


V.    The  Boy  Who  Never  Grew  to  Be  a  Man. 

For  the  most  part,  the  present  chapter  covers  my 
twenty-sixth  to  thirty-second  years,  during  which  my 
most  descriptive  nickname  was  The  Soldiers' 
Friend.  For  I  was  foreordained  to  a  sort  of  army 
life  for  many  years,  detailed  in  my  Autobiography  of 
an  Androgyne,  but  omitted  in  the  present  volume. 
Here  I  limit  myself  to  some  related  personal  descrip- 
tion. 

Physique  and  Psyche  :  My  career  as  avocational 
female-impersonator  during-  the  second  half-dozen 
years  of  my  physical  prime  was  even  more  remarkable 
than  during  the  first  (outlined  in  Part  Three). 
My  quasi-public  career  as  female-impersonator  ended 
at  thirty-one — at  its  very  zenith — because  I  deemed 
myself  too  old  longer  to  play  the  part  of  "French  doll- 
baby,"  and  because  the  instinct  thereto  progressively 
weakened  from  the  age  of  thirty.  My  being  able  to 
play  that  part  down  to  thirty-one  was  possible  only  be- 
cause Nature  had  endowed  me  with  the  proper  phy- 
sique and  psyche,  already  described.  Less  extreme 
androgynes  lack  the  qualifications,  while  practically 
all  the  extreme  (commonly  known  as  "fairies",  "fags", 
or  "brownies")  lack  the  necessary  good  sense,  modes- 
ty, temperance,  and  high  grade  of  general  morality 
that  were  mine  because  of  my  puritan  childhood  and 
youth  and  university  education. 

The  proneness  of  the  eternal  feminine  greatly  to 
understate  her  age  made  me  in  my  twenty-sixth  year, 


90  Infantilism,  etc.,  a  Bar  in  Business. 

when  impersonating  a  doll-baby,  pass  as  twenty-one, 
and  in  my  fortieth,  as  twenty-eight.  An  unmarried 
female,  as  long  as  she  has  hopes  of  lassoing  a  husband, 
never  gets  beyond  the  lingering  years  of  twenty-eight 
or  twenty-nine. 

Simultaneous  "Male"  Professional  Life:  In 
my  twenties,  thirties,  and  forties,  I  have  worked  hard 
in  three  successive  learned  professions.  At  nineteen 
I  had  already  relinquished  my  amateur  work  of 
preacher  of  the  Gospel  on  being  forced  by  Nature  into 
the  avocation  of  female-impersonator.  Simultaneous- 
ly with  my  satisfying  my  frivolous  and  coquettish  in- 
stincts of  French  doll-baby,  I  also  met  the  demands  of 
my  male  intellectual  spirit  by  doing  brain  work  of  a 
high  order.  My  three  successive  professions  have 
seemingly  been  adopted  by  chance,  although  during 
"boyhood"  I  manifested  special  aptitude  for  all  three, 
besides  that  of  preacher.  I  did  not  choose  them. 
They  were  only  makeshifts  after  I  was  barred  from  my 
choice:  preaching  the  Gospel.  I  can  not  name  them 
lest  I  disclose  my  identity. 

I  have  achieved  the  average  professional  success. 
But  my  extreme  effeminacy  and  both  facial  and  psy- 
chic infantilism  have  prevented  employers  meting 
out  the  full  advancement  that  past  work  merited. 
Men  less  capable  than  myself  have  been  promoted  over 
me  because  my  chiefs  had  the  impression  that  I  was 
merely  "a  grown-up  child" — that  is,  moron-like,  al- 
though as  a  matter  of  fact  I  possessed  the  intellectual 
qualifications. 

Office  associates  have  now  and  then  commented 
in  my  hearing  on  my  feminesqueness  notwithstand- 
ing they  have  not  usually  entertained  the  least  idea 


F eminesqueness  Recognized  in  Business.         91 

that  from  nineteen  to  thirty-one,  I  impersonated,  an 
average  of  one  evening  a  week,  a  French  doll-baby. 
Some  remarks,  however,  even  down  to  my  middle  for- 
ties, indicated  that  some  suspected  the  truth  about  my 
sexual  life.  But  I  never  betrayed  that  life  to  any  of 
my  business  associates  excepting  three  or  four  confi- 
dants, who — I  must  explain — were  mere  Platonic 
friends.  I  was  too  much  ashamed  to  ape  the  woman 
before  those  acquainted  with  my  intellectual  accom- 
plishments. The  following  are  samples  of  remarks 
of  office  associates: 

"Good  morning,  Baby!" 

"Grinning  kid!" 

"You  look  like  a  frightened  bunny!"  (While  be- 
ing teased.  I  was  always  the  favorite  subject  for 
teasing  by  full-fledged  males.  In  school,  university, 
and  office  (the  latter  down  to  my  middle  forties  only) 
they  teased  me  as  they  would  a  girl.  Moreover,  my 
face  expresses  my  emotions  in  an  uncommon  manner.) 

"Your  breasts  are  certainly  beauts!  You  must 
be  half  woman !" 

"Look,  Ralph,  Ed  is  throwing  kisses  at  you !" 

"Ralph,  I  was  just  going  to  ask  you  for  a  kiss !" 

"Ralph,  you  are  nothing  but  a  child  half-a-century 
old!"  (When  impressed  by  my  childish  grimaces  and 
childlike  way  of  going  about  everything.) 

"Say,  Ralph,  won't  you  favor  me  with  the  recipe 
for  perennial  youth?  I  never  saw  such  a  contrast  be- 
tween apparent  and  actual  age!"  (During  my  early 
forties.) 

"Ralph,  you  are  a  tub  of  mush!  You  look  like  a 
fat  frau  in  the  last  stage  of  pregnancy!"  (The  reader 
will  pardon  the  vulgarity  occasioned  by  my  wish  to 


92  Simultaneous  Life  as  Three  Persons. 

give  the  exact  words  used  by  an  office  associate  to  de- 
scribe my  figure  after  the  age  of  forty-three.) 

Nearly  all  my  professional  life  has  been  under  my 
legal  name.  It  has  been  completely  apart  from  my 
avocation  of  female-impersonator.  I  have  sometimes 
thought  I  might  be  an  instance  of  the  dual  personality 
recognized  by  psychologists.  Only,  while  living  out 
either  side  of  my  own  duality,  I  have  always  had  a 
complete  memory  of  the  other  side  and  recognized  the 
oneness  of  my  ego  in  my  two  widely  opposed  careers. 

In  my  middle  twenties,  I  lived  under  three  names 
and  personalities.  I  worked  seven  hours  a  day  for  a 
legal  journal  as  "Earl  Lind."  Because  under  that 
name  I  had  called  on  its  editor  to  persuade  him  to 
publish  my  Autobiography  of  an  Androgyne,  rep- 
resenting myself  as  merely  its  author's  agent.  The 
editor  was  in  his  sixties,  and  happening  just  then  to 
need  an  assistant,  immediately  hired  me,  never  ques- 
tioning the  truthfulness  of  my  representations  as  to 
who  I  was.  He  was  at  the  time  also  one  of  the  leading 
criminal  lawyers  in  New  York  City.  He  employed  me 
in  all  sorts  of  confidential  capacities  and  let  me  into 
many  of  the  secrets  of  his  clients.  Of  course  I  would 
never  have  proved  false  to  his  trust,  even  though  he 
never  knew  who  I  really  was  and  where  I  lived.  I 
attended  court  with  him  as  his  clerk.  I  learned  all  the 
intricacies  of  establishing  a  false  alibi  for  a  wealthy 
androgyne  whom  he  represented  in  a  case  originating 
in  blackmail  by  an  adolescent.  I  was  his  assistant 
while  he  was  defending  a  client  from  prosecution  by 
Anthony  Comstock,  when  the  latter  gentleman  was 
personally  acquainted  with  me  under  the  name  of 
"Earl   Lind,"    and   knew   I   was   trying   to   get   the 


Court  Employee  Was  Ultra-Criminal.  93 

Autobiography  of  an  Androgyne  published,  which 
he  had  already  interdicted. 

Thus  I  was,  in  a  sense,  a  court  employee  of  New 
York  City,  while  at  the  same  time  one  of  its  greatest 
criminals — according  to  a  statute  that  is  a  legacy  from 
the  Dark  Ages. 

Simultaneously  with  my  career  as  lawyer's  clerk, 
I  taught  school  five  evenings  a  week  under  my  legal 
name,  and  every  Saturday  evening  took  up  my  avo- 
cation of  female-impersonator  under  the  name  of 
"Jennie  June." 

Though  I  passed  as  three  separate  personalities 
within  the  same  week,  they  had — poor  things — to 
share  the  identic  body  alternately. 

Necessity  of  Aliases  :  I  have  used  five :  Raphael 
Werther,  Ralph  Werther,  Earl  Lind,  Jennie  June,  and 
Pussie.  When  I  began  my  double  life,  I  told  the 
Underworld  my  legal  name  was  Raphael  Werther.  I 
named  myself  after  "the  Prince  of  Painters,"  because 
he  was  the  greatest  ultra-androgyne  who  ever  lived. 
He  was  my  idol — my  ideal.  I  wished  him  to  pass 
through  the  earthly  life  all  over  again  in  my  body.  I 
further  named  myself  after  "the  Prince  of  Amatory 
Melancholiacs"  since  I  was  myself  such  during  my 
teens.  Werther  was  Goethe  himself,  the  most  brilliant 
and  most  versatile  man,  "the  Prince  of  Men,"  born 
subsequently  to  the  Shakespeare-Author  (Francis 
Bacon). 

As  for  the  genesis  of  my  first  feminine  name,  I 
chose  "Jennie"  at  four.  I  have  always  considered 
it  the  most  feminine  of  names.  When  I  began  my 
double  life,  I  appended  "June."  I  adopted  that  sur- 
name because  of  its  beautiful  associations,  as  well  as 


94  Choosing  Aliases. 

because  of  the  repetition  of  the  j  and  n.  I  have  always 
considered  "Jennie  June"  as  the  most  exquisite  of 
names:  the  poetic  name;  the  magic  name;  the  "divine" 
name  (in  the  sense  that  we  speak  of  the  "divine"  or 
"godlike"  human  form) .  I  later  substituted  the  fem- 
inine "Pussie"  because  so  nicknamed,  much  to  my 
delight,  by  the  tremendously  virile. 

I  later  adopted  "Earl"  primarily  because  it 
rhymes  with  "girl",  the  creature  of  enchantment  that 
I  longed  to  be,  and  secondarily  because  it  arouses  noble 
ideas.  I  adopted  "Lind"  after  Jennie  Lind,  one  of  my 
models. 

Perhaps  these  fancies  about  names  are  proof  of 
insanity.  A  medical  reviewer  of  my  Autobiography 
of  an  Androgyne,  who  devoted  only  five  minutes  to 
the  70,000  words,  declared  me  "clearly  insane." 

When  I  transferred  my  female-impersonations 
from  Mulberry  Street  to  the  Fourteenth  Street  Rialto, 
incredulity  occasioned  my  transliterating  the  fancy 
"Raphael"  to  prosaic  "Raiph." 

As  a  result  of  my  1905  court-martial  making  the 
names  "Ralph  Werther"  and  "Jennie  June"  known 
to  some  army  heads,  I  found  it  advisable,  when  in  1907 
renewing  my  kind  of  army  life  for  seven  years,  to 
choose  new  masculine  and  feminine  names.  I  feared 
it  might  become  known  to  the  army  heads  that  the 
fairie  "Jennie  June"  had  transferred  "her"  stage  for 
female-impersonations  to  a  distant  military  post. 
Hence  the  substitutions  of  "Earl  Lind"  and  "Pussie." 

On  a  single  day  I  have  had  to  sign  myself  with 
four  different  names.  Always  after  writing  my  signa- 
ture, I  must  review  it  painstakingly  to  make  sure  I 
have  put  down  the  proper  one.    Only  once  I  have  made 


Two  Handwritings.  95 

a  mistake.  In  receipting  for  a  registered  letter  ad- 
dressed "Earl  Lind,  General  Delivery,"  I  signed  my 
legal  name.  To  the  clerk's  inquiry  I  replied  that  I 
had  been  authorized  by  Lind.  He  sent  word  to  Lind 
for  written  authorization,  which  was  promptly  des- 
patched. 

I  have  had  to  acquire  two  entirely  distinct  hand- 
writings— the  second  for  my  numerous  love  letters.1 
None  were  ever  written  more  mushy  than  those  of 
"Jennie  June"  and  I  guarded  against  their  ever  being 
traceable  to  the  intellectual  and  puritan  "Ralph 
Werther"  (by  which  name  I  refer  to  my  every-day 
self  in  my  books) .  I  have  often,  within  an  hour, 
written  letters  in  the  two  different  hands. 

Confidants  :  Throughout  the  three  decades  of  my 
double  life,  I  have,  outside  several  physicians,  disclos- 
ed it  only  to  nine  confidants  of  my  every-day  circle. 
One  expressed  his  amazement  that  I  should  disclose  it 
at  all,  affirming  that  even  my  best  friend  would  be  like- 
ly to  get  me  thrown  out  of  my  economic  and  social  posi- 
tion. All  my  lay  confidants,  however,  proved  helpful 
and  compassionate  excepting  one,  who,  while  never  dis- 
closing my  secret,  dropped  me  from  his  friendship,  al- 
though we  had  been  the  very  closest  of  Platonic 
friends.  One  physician  brought  about  my  expulsion 
from  the  university  and  made  me  a  Bowery  outcast 
and  fairie. 

Because  of  the  terrible  persecutions  inflicted  by 
the  criminally-minded  "saints"  who  happened  to  be 
born  sexually  full-fledged,  hardly  a  single  cultured  an- 
drogyne ever  betrays  his  bisexuality  to  a  single  confi- 

i  Non-mushy  specimens  are  given  in  my  AUTOBIOGRA- 
PHY OF  AN  ANDROGYNE.    Its  editor  killed  the  mushy. 


96  Author's  Contribution  to  Sociology. 

dant  of  his  every-day  circle  excepting  the  tremendous- 
ly virile  bachelor  whom  he  may  have  chosen  as  soul- 
mate.  I  am  an  exception  in  outspokenness.  Decades 
ago  I  rose  above  the  prudery  and  bias  with  which  most 
leaders  of  thought  are  to-day  bound  hand  and  foot.  I 
desire  that  men  interested  in  the  improvement  of  the 
human  race,  and  in  the  question  of  justice  to  all  class- 
es, have  the  opportunity  of  getting  at  the  facts  con- 
cerning the  atypic  and  atavic  types  with  whom  I  have 
been  intimately  thrown  through  having  been  foreor- 
dained to  pass  a  large  part  of  my  life  in  the  Under- 
world. 


tltye  Jfzttrie  %o^ 

************ 

I.     Female-Impersonation. 

In  Part  Three,  I  shall  outline  what  kind  of  adult 
career  is  the  natural  sequel  of  the  childhood  and  ad- 
olescence described  in  Part  Two;  what  kind  of  adult 
career  is  bound  up  with  the  physique  and  psyche  with 
which  I  am  endowed.  I  shall  disclose  what  Providence 
had  in  store  for  the  youthful  religious  prodigy  of  the 
Connecticut  hills — the  delicate,  lilliputian,  chicken- 
hearted  girl-boy — after  he  had  been  swallowed  up  in 
New  York's  millions. 

Since  ultra-androgynes  are,  in  a  sense,  instances 
of  dual  personality — a  male  soul  and  a  female  soul 
inhabiting  the  same  brain  and  body — it  is  natural  for 
them  to  live  a  double-life. 

Moreover,  as  the  "classy,"  hypocritical,  and  bigot- 
ed Overworld  considers  a  bisexual  as  monster  and  out- 
cast, I  was  driven  to  a  career  in  the  democratic,  frank, 
and  liberal-minded  Underworld.  While  my  male  soul 
was  a  leader  in  scholarship  at  the  university  uptown, 
my  female  soul,  one  evening  a  week,  flaunted  itself  as 
a  French  doll-baby  in  the  shadowy  haunts  of  night 
life  downtown. 

Since  my  student  and  subsequent  professional 
career  were  prosaic,  I  leave  them  almost  unmentioned 

[97] 


98  The  Fourth  Sex. 

throughout  Part  Three.  I,  however,  always  gave 
them  first  place  in  my  life.  But  I  here  confine  myself 
to  what  I  experienced  and  learned  while  impersonating 
a  French  doll-baby  because  it  constitutes  something 
novel  to  most  readers. 

Indeed  Parts  Three,  Four,  and  Five  portray  the 
social  life  and  diversions  of  the  most  cultured  New 
York  coterie  of  THE  third  sex  during  the  last  decade 
of  the  nineteenth  century.  For,  while  little  has  yet 
been  published  about  instinctive  female-impersonators 
because  of  the  prudery  of  the  sexually  full-fledged, 
they  form  (necessarily  sub  rosa)  quite  a  large  class  of 
society — about  one  out  of  every  three  hundred  physical 
males.  During  the  last  decade  of  the  nineteenth  cen- 
tury, the  Fourteenth  Street  Rialto  was  their  chief 
stamping-ground  in  the  New  York  metropolitan  dis- 
trict. I  became  acquainted  with  them  because  during 
the  decade  indicated,  I  was  myself  in  my  prime  as 
a  female-impersonator  in  two  out  of  the  three  principal 
bright-light  quarters  of  the  metropolitan  district. 

[There  exists  also  A  fourth  sex,  the  gynanders. 
But  experience  has  not  qualified  me  to  describe  them 
in  detail.  That  task  awaits  some  brave,  high-minded, 
and  brilliant  physical  female.  See,  however,  chapter 
on  Gynanders  in  my  Riddle  of  the  Underworld.] 

The  Overworld  has  enjoined  complete  silence 
about  female-impersonators  because  of  their  thorough- 
ly false  view  that  any  adolescent  adopting  the  role  must 
do  so  from  moral  depravity.  They  argue:  "If  I  my- 
self adopted  the  role,  it  could  only  be  through  unspeak- 
able depravity.  Ergo,  the  same  is  true  for  every 
male."      They  overlook  the  fact  that  Nature  did  not 


Female-Impersonation  Instinctive.  99 

make  all  anatomical  males  of  like  passions.  What 
would  be  moral  depravity  for  one  is  not  for  another. 

Instinctive  female-impersonators  are  sexual 
cripples  from  their  mother's  womb.  They  had  no 
choice  in  the  matter.  Thus  they  merit  pity  rather 
than  scorn.  Further,  since  their  impersonations 
occasion  no  detriment  to  any  one,  but  are  a  source  of 
much  entertainment  to  their  sexually  full-fledged 
associates,  they  are  a  positive  ethical  good.  All  benefi- 
cent talents  that  the  Creator  has  distributed  among 
mankind  must  have  been  meant  for  use — not  for 
strangling. 

As  to  the  ethical  question,  I  myself,  who  from  the 
age  of  nineteen  to  thirty-one  had  an  intensive  career 
as  fairie — female-impersonator,  can  truthfully  state, 
on  arrival  in  my  late  forties,  that  I  was  not  once,  dur- 
ing that  career,  guilty  of  an  irreligious  or  unethical 
act — excepting  alone  that  I  seriously  impaired  my  own 
health.  But  it  is  doubtful  whether  the  impairment 
was  permanent.  In  my  late  forties,  my  physical  vigor 
is  not  at  a  lower  level  compared  with  males  of  my  own 
age  than  it  was  during  my  childhood.  My  health  has 
always  been  delicate. 

Numerous  wives  and  mothers  suffer  in  health 
from  the  sex  passion  as  much  as  I.  If  my  having  had 
my  health  wrecked  by  it  proves  it  immoral  for  me  and 
to  be  legally  repressed,  then  the  yielding  to  it  by  wedd- 
ed pairs  is  equally  immoral  and  to  be  interdicted.  If 
it  be  objected  that  the  human  race  is  perpetuated  by 
the  latter,  I  answer  that  this  consideration  would  only 
permit  to  married  couples  a  sex-union  when  off- 
spring was  the  object — that  is,  for  a  cultured  couple, 
from  one  to  three  times  throughout  their  married  life. 


100  Depilation. 

In  the  description  of  my  own  physique  and  psyche, 
I  have  indicated  the  general  characteristics  of  the  ex- 
treme type  of  androgynes  foreordained  to  become 
quasi-public  female-impersonators.  But  the  outstand- 
ing feminesque  physical  stigmata  of  each  "fairie"  (as 
they  are  commonly  called  in  the  United  States)  tend 
to  be  sui  generis.  In  one  it  is  natural  beardlessness 
alone.  In  another,  the  possession  of  female  breasts 
alone.  In  a  third,  the  female  skeletal  shape,  particu- 
larly an  over-long  spine,  short  legs,  and  broad  pelvis. 
In  a  fourth,  natural  soprano  voice.      Etc. 

Whoever  has  beheld  an  instinctive  female-imper- 
sonator when  keyed  up,  must  confess  that  this  type 
are  born  actors — or  "actresses,"  as  they  prefer  to  be 
called.  Their  histrionic  skill  is  not  primarily  the  re- 
sult of  practice  or  instruction. 

Their  audiences  have  marvelled  because  the  im- 
personators' faces  are  devoid  of  any  sign  of  beardal 
hair.  Usually  the  beard  is  eradicated.  It  is  allowed 
to  grow  for  a  full  week  in  seclusion.  By  means  of  a 
mask  of  depilatory  wax,  every  hair  is  then  pulled  out 
by  the  roots,  the  outer  portion  having  become  embed- 
ded, like  hair  in  wall-plaster.  For  three  weeks,  the 
face  is  as  glabrous  as  a  baby's.  Then  the  week's  se- 
clusion and  the  final  excruciatingly  painful  yank  of 
the  wax  mask  all  over  again.  The  process  has  no 
permanent  effect,  either  good  or  bad. 

All  the  impersonators  adopt  a  fancy  feminine 
name,  as  Pansy,  Daisy,  and  Lily.  Often  the  names 
of  living  star  actresses  are  adopted  and  "dragged 
into  the  mud,"  as  people  say.  For  while  the  career 
of  a  female-impersonator  is  a  purely  physiological  and 


Obedience  to  Nature  Gave  Peace.  101 

psychological  phenomenon,  it  is  incorrectly  regarded 
as  deep-dyed  immorality. 

All  impersonators  belonging  to  the  middle  and 
upper  classes  also  choose  a  masculine  alias,  represented 
in  the  Underworld  to  be  their  legal  name.  They  do 
not  wish  to  risk  disgrace  to  their  family  name.  More- 
over, on  their  sprees  in  the  bright-light  districts,  they 
are  careful  to  wear  nothing  containing  their  every- 
day initials. 

Except  for  a  few  weeks,  I  myself  was  only  an 
avocational  impersonator.  I  gave  to  it  only  three 
hours  a  week,  as  compared  with  109  waking  hours  to 
my  student  (or  later,  professional)  life.  I  did  not 
adopt  the  avocation  until  near  the  close  of  my  sopho- 
more year.  Almost  throughout  the  preceding  twenty- 
four  months,  however,  I  had  fought  violently  against 
almost  irresistible  tendencies  to  disappear  for  an 
evening  in  the  Underworld  on  a  female-impersonation 
spree.  But  my  ultra-puritan  education  had  injected 
into  me  such  a  moral  horror  of  female-impersonation 
that  I  was  able  to  resist  the  tendencies  for  two  whole 
years  after  the  date  that  Nature  ordained  them  to 
begin. 

The  "French  doll-baby"  spirit  had  dwelt  in  my 
brain  since  birth.  Throughout  my  life  down  to  nine- 
teen, it  had  manifested  itself  strongly,  although  after 
fourteen  I  had  struggled  to  crucify  it.  At  nineteen,  it 
refused  longer  to  be  suppressed.  I  (the  puritan,  book- 
worm spirit  in  me)  had  to  arrange  a  compromise.  I 
promised  to  yield  my  physical  and  mental  powers  to  it 
only  one  evening  each  week.  And  the  doll-baby  spirit 
was  satisfied.  Previously  I  had  been  the  most  melan- 
choly person  in  the  university.     But  dating  from  the 


102  My  Dual  Personality. 

compromise,  my  life  flowed  on  peacefully  and  blissfully. 
Only  occasionally — moments  while  suffused  with  ambi- 
tion to  make  a  name  for  myself  in  the  intellectual  and 
philanthropic  world — would  I  turn  against  the  doll- 
baby  spirit  with  abhorrence,  and  ask  myself  how  I 
could  ever  give  place  to  it. 

For  the  serious  work  of  life,  I  realized  that  I  must 
practically  strangle  the  feminine  side  of  my  duality 
outside  the  three  hours  a  week  during  which  I  con- 
ceded to  it  full  possession  of  my  personality.  While 
at  my  every-day  tasks,  I  sought  to  forget  the  doll-baby 
spirit  that  dwelt  in  my  brain  side  by  side  with  the 
scholar  spirit. 


The  Fairie  Boy.  103 


II.     A  Typical  Female-Impersonation  Spree. 

The  one  evening  a  week  on  which  I  (the  scholar- 
spirit)  surrendered,  I  called  "going-  on  a  female-im- 
personation spree."  The  typical  spree  did  not  occur 
until  the  December  (1894)  of  my  senior  year.  I  had 
become  somewhat  adept  in  the  art  of  impersonation 
through  a  year's  apprenticeship  in  the  Mulberry  Street 
Italian  quarter.  As  that  training  has  been  detailed 
in  my  Autobiography  of  an  Androgyne  and  The 
Riddle  of  the  Underworld,  I  omit  it  here. 

On  the  afternoon  preceding  a  spree,  I  would  be 
overwhelmed  with  dread  and  melancholia.  I  dreaded 
disclosure,  which  I  realized  would  mean  expulsion 
from  the  university  because  of  the  full-fledged  man's 
horror  of  a  sexual  cripple.  I  dreaded  possible  dis- 
figurement by  blows — or  even  murder — by  one  of  the 
numerous  prudes  who  detest  extreme  effeminacy  in  a 
male  (supposed).  I  was  melancholy  because  about  to 
embark  on  something  that  my  puritan  training  had 
impressed  me  as  in  the  highest  degree  disgraceful,  and 
that  I  secretly  wished  I  did  not  have  to  undertake. 
But  to  be  contented  and  even  happy  for  the  following 
week  and  to  guarantee  that  tranquillity  necessary  for 
the  best  scholarly  success,  the  weekly  spree  was 
unavoidable. 

Only  a  handful  of  upper-class  female-imperson- 
ators adopt  feminine  attire  for  street  wear.  For  my- 
self (being  a  university  student,  and  subsequently  an 
honored  member  of  a  learned  profession)   it  was  too 


104  Fairies  Are  Extreme  Dressers. 

risky.  I  merely  kept  some  feminine  finery  locked  up 
in  my  room  for  occasional  decoration  of  my  person 
while  I  gazed  in  the  mirror.  But  during  the  eighteen 
months  that  my  sprees  were  staged  in  the  Fourteenth 
Street  Rialto  and  the  six  years  on  or  near  military  res- 
ervations in  New  York's  suburbs,  my  attire  was  as 
fancy  and  flashy  as  a  youth  dare  adopt.  Fairies  are 
extreme  dressers  and  excessively  vain.  To  strange 
adolescents  whom  I  passed  on  the  street  I  proclaimed 
myself  as  a  female-impersonator  through  always  wear- 
ing white  kids  and  large  red  neck-bow  with  fringed 
ends  hanging  down  over  my  lapels. 

I  would  set  out  from  my  lodgings  with  the  feelings 
of  a  soldier  entering  a  terrific  battle  from  which  he 
realizes  he  may  never  return.  As  the  car  carried  me 
farther  and  farther  from  where  I  staged  the  puritan 
student  life  and  nearer  and  nearer  to  where  I  staged 
the  "French  doll-baby"  life,  my  overwhelming  melan- 
cholia would  gradually  give  way  to  a  sense  of  gladness 
that  in  a  few  minutes  I  would  find  myself  again  on 
"Jennie  June's"  stamping-ground.  I  had  left  at 
home  all  my  masculinity  (a  very  poor  variety) .  The 
innate  feminine,  strangled  for  a  week  in  order  that  I 
might  climb,  round  by  round,  the  ladder  to  an  honored 
place  in  the  learned  world,  now  held  complete  sway. 

During  the  last  decade  of  the  19th  century,  the 
Fourteenth  Street  Rialto  ranked  second  only  to  the 
"Tenderloin"  as  an  amusement  center  in  the  entire 
metropolitan  district.  While  it  still  holds  the  same 
rank  in  1921,  its  present  night  life  is  only  a  shadow  of 
what  it  was.  A  quarter  of  a  century  ago,  New  York 
was  wide-open,  whereas  for  more  than  a  decade,  the 
lid  has  been  down  tight.     Promenading  the  Rialto  on 


Fourteenth    Street    Rialto,    Stamping-Ground    of    the 
Hermaphroclitoi 


Stuyvesant  Square,  One  of  Jennie  June's  Stamping- 

Grounds 

(Usually  the  evening  was  spent  on  the  bench  where  two  girls 
are  seated  in  picture.) 


106  The  Fourteenth  Street  Rialto. 

an  evening  of  1921,  the  pedestrian  would  conclude  that 
no  such  phenomenon  as  sex  attraction  existed.  But 
during  the  period  that  I  was  an  habitue,  the  Four- 
teenth Street  Rialto  was  as  gay  as  European  bright- 
light  districts,  which  I  was  fated  to  explore. 

The  Rialto  is  confined  principally  between  Third 
Avenue  and  Broadway.  While  I  was  an  habitue, 
theatres,  museums  for  men  only,  drinking  palaces, 
gambling  joints,  and  worse  abounded. 

On  pleasant  evenings,  when  the  sidewalks  were 
thronged  with  smartly  dressed  adolescent  pleasure 
seekers,  I  would  promenade — up  and  down,  up  and 
down — until  I  chanced  to  meet  a  coterie  of  young 
bloods  who  invited  me  to  join  them.  Our  evenings 
would  be  spent  in  pool-rooms,  gambling  joints,  beer 
gardens  of  ill  repute,  or  worse  resorts.  Nature  made 
me  proof  against  the  vices  I  there  witnessed.  My 
only  weakness  was  the  craze  for  female-impersonation. 
My  greatest  joy  was  to  flaunt  myself  as  a  bisexual  be- 
fore those  who  did  not  know  my  identity.  I  realized 
that  every  soul  among  my  Rialto  associates  was  turn- 
ing his  or  her  back  on  the  Creator.  But  I  was  always 
determined  to  give  Him  first  place  in  my  affections. 
However,  for  fear  of  bringing  reproach  on  religion  if 
/  made  myself  its  representative — /,  a  misunderstood 
female-impersonator,  whom  even  the  Underworld  in 
general  regarded  as  one  of  the  most  impious  of  hu- 
mans— I  never  mentioned  the  theme  except  under  ex- 
traordinary circumstances. 

If  the  weather  were  bad,  I  would  immediately 
enter  a  beer  garden  and  call  for  sarsaparilla.  I  would 
consume  it  in  driblets  while  watching  for  the  oppor- 


Female-Impersonators  Popular.  107 

tunity  to  join  some  tremendously  virile  bachelors  out 
for  a  lark. 

On  the  typical  evening  I  have  chosen  to  describe 
of  my  many  passed  in  the  Rialto,  I  happened  to  run 
across  several  youthful  Lotharios  waiting  in  front  of 
a  theatre  for  something  "to  turn  up".  Only  one  ad- 
olescent "male"  out  of  three  thousand  in  New  York 
City  adopts  the  role  of  quasi-public  female-imperson- 
ator. A  Rialto  habitue  therefore  does  not  often  run 
up  against  one.  Judging  by  my  own  experience,  a 
female-impersonator  proves  an  attraction  of  the  first 
order  for  young  bloods  having  time  hanging  heavy  on 
their  hands.  Thus  this  coterie — as  many  others  have 
done — called  out  jubilantly  on  catching  sight  of  me: 

"Hello    Jennie    June !" "Hello    sweetheart !      That 

is  what  you  want  us  to  call  you,  isn't  it?". .  .  .  "Let  me 
introduce  you  to  Mr.  A  and  Mr.  B.  They  have  never 
met  a  female-impersonator,  and  are  dead  anxious  to 
see  you  take  off  a  girl." 

"And  you  are  Jennie  June,  are  you?"  A  and  B 
exclaimed.  "We  have  heard  a  lot  about  you  and 
longed  to  meet  you." 

"Bon  soir,  messieurs,"  I  replied.  I  had  a  liking 
for  addressing  chance-met  beaux  in  a  foreign  tongue. 
I  happened  to  be  the  foremost  linguist  among  the  uni- 
versity students. 

"Bon  soir,  Jennie,  bon  soir!" 

"Meine  sehr  geliebten  junge  Herren,  wie  geht's 
bei  Ihnen  ?"    I  continued  with  a  twinkle  in  my  eye. 

"Ganz  gut,"  sounded  the  reply.    New  York  is  a 
Babel.    On  an  hour's  promenade  in  the  Rialto,  conver- 
sation in  a  score  of  languages  would  impinge  on  one's 


108  Female-Impersonators  Gifted. 

ear.  Bright  young  men  brought  up  in  a  New  York  for- 
eign colony  acquire  a  score  of  the  commonest  expres- 
sions in  several  languages. 

"I  miei  amici,  siete  amati  da  me,"  I  next  declared 
in  a  third  language. 

"Pee-an-gou,  savez?  We  don't  understand  Dago, 
Jennie.    Tell  us  in  American  how  much  you  love  us." 

I  reply  in  Spanish :  "Esto  es  lo  mejor  que  pode- 
mos  hacer.    Hablemos  ingles." 

"Bert,  Jennie  seems  to  be  a  bright  fellow — or  girl 
— doesn't  she?  All  these  impersonators  seem  to  be 
brainy.  Jennie,  I  don't  know  whether  to  call  you  a 
fellow  or  a  girl.    Which  is  proper?" 

"Girl,  of  course,"  I  replied  with  a  smile. 

"Well,  fellows,  Jennie"  June  is  part  he  and  part 
she.  He  wears  trousers,  but  she  has  breasts  just  like 
a  woman  and  wants  us  fellows  to  regard  her  as  a  girl." 

"Well,  Jennie,  if  you  are  a  girl,  why  do  you  wear 
breeches?  And  why  don't  you  let  your  hair  grow 
long?" 

"Because  I  have  the  misfortune  to  be  only  part 
girl.  I  am  only  a  girl  incarnated  in  a  boy's  body.  But 
besides  my  girl's  mind,  my  entire  body  is  shaped  very 
much  like  a  girl's  and  I  possess  her  bone  and  muscular 
systems.  Because  I  am  part  boy,  the  law  prohibits 
to  me  my  natural  or  instinctive  apparel.  But  you  will 
be  so  kind  as  to  overlook  my  not  appearing  before 
you  in  gown  and  picture  hat,  won't  you  ?  I  will  make 
up  for  that  lack  by  outwomaning  woman  in  my  actions. 
It  is  my  nature  to  give  up  all  I  have,  and  do  all  I  can, 
for  the  entertainment  of  heroes — as  you  manly  fellows 
seem  to  be." 


The  Hotel  Comfort.  109 

"Jennie,  let's  walk  around  to  the  ladies'  parlor 
of  the  Hotel  Comfort1  and  have  a  few  drinks." 

We  arrived  in  an  artistically  furnished  room  25 
feet  by  75.  At  one  side  was  a  bar  from  which  waiters 
continuously  carried  drinks  to  the  fifty-odd  couples 
seated  around  the  small  ornamental  tables  which  oc- 
cupied most  of  the  floor.  Nearly  all  the  patrons  were 
under  thirty,  and  absolutely  all,  highfliers  sexually. 
The  vast  bulk  merely  smoked,  drank,  and  "chinned." 
Only  a  few  were  playing  cards  for  money.  All  were 
refined  and  orderly.  I  have  never  circulated  among 
more  delightful  people  than  I  met  frequently  at  the 
Hotel  Comfort. 

I  had  become  well  acquainted  with  the  proprietor 
and  all  his  employees.  For  more  than  a  year  the 
"hotel"  was  substantially  the  home  of  my  feminine 
personality,  "Jennie  June."  But  this  refined  and  lux- 
urious "hotel"  would  have  tolerated  only  a  cultured 
and  outwardly  modest  female-impersonator.  Most  ex- 
amples of  that  biological  sport  were  far  below  the 
standards  of  the  Hotel  Comfort,  and  would  have  been 
barred.  But  I  was  looked  upon  as  a  personality  likely 
to  attract  a  pecuniarily  desirable  class  of  patronage. 

My  five  companions  and  I  spent  an  hour  sipping 
beverages. 

[While  during  my  twelve  years  as  quasi-public 
female-impersonator,  my  companions  always  drank  in- 
toxicants, I  always  called  for  non-alcoholics.  The  lat- 
ter's  price  was  double  in  order  to  discourage  the  con- 
sumption of  temperance  drinks.  I  had  been  brought 
up  to  loathe  alcoholics,  and  during  my  twelve  years 

1  Substitute  for  the  real  name  of  the  pseudo-hotel. 


110  No  Alcohol,  No  Venereal  Disease. 

intimacy  with  heavy  drinkers,  came  to  a  more  and 
more  rational  loathing. 

Alcoholics  are  by  far  the  greatest  curse  of  the 
Caucasian  race.  I  have  had  almost  unequalled  oppor- 
tunities for  studying  venereal  diseases.  My  twelve 
years  of  having  roues  and  filles  de  joies  for  bosom 
friends  taught  me  that  the  presence  of  alcohol  in  the 
blood  is  the  sine  qua  non  of  venereal  disease.  Perhaps 
my  greatest  contribution  to  the  betterment  and  hap- 
piness of  humanity  is  the  epigram  original  with  my- 
self:  No  Alcohol,  No  Venereal  Disease.  But  it  is 
necessary  to  be  a  total  abstainer.  Mere  moderation 
does  not  confer  immunity.  The  total  abstainer  may 
possibly  contract  venereal  disease,  but  it  is  sure  to  be 
benign,  almost  negligible,  and  inflicting  no  permanent 
injury.  Dr.  Robert  W.  Shufeldt,  who  as  army  surgeon 
had  extensive  experience  in  the  treatment  of  venereal 
disease,  wrote  in  the  Journal  of  Urology  and  Sex- 
ology, 1917,  page  458 :  "In  my  opinion,  alcohol  bears 
the  responsibility  more  than  any  other  single  agent — 
indeed  more  than  all  the  others  put  together — for  en- 
suring venereal  infection."] 

"Jennie,  why  not  take  a  cocktail  instead  of  a. 
lemonade?  We  want  to  warm  you  up.  Then  you  will 
give  us  some  of  your  recitations  and  songs.  Won't 
you  drink  a  few  cocktails  for  my  sake?" 

"I  would  not  put  the  poison  into  my  system  for 
anybody !  I  do  not  need  that  kind  of  stimulant.  You 
know  what  kind  I  need  to  get  warmed  up  to  declaiming 
and  singing! 

"  'I  am  a-thirst,  but  not  for  wine ; 

The  stimulant  I  long  for  is  divine; 

Poured  only  from  your  eyes  in  mine ! 


Female-Impersonate  Intoxication.  Ill 

I  am  a-cold,  and  lagging  lame ; 
Life  creeps  along  my  chilled  frame ; 
Your  love  will  fan  it  into  flame. 

I  am  a-hungered,  but  the  bread  I  want ; 
The  food  that  e'er  my  thoughts  doth  haunt; 
Is  your  sweet  speech,  for  which  I  pant !'  *n 

"If  that  is  all  the  stimulant  you  need,  Jennie,  it 
can  easily  be  supplied." 

We  were  the  merriest  party  in  the  parlor.  The  at- 
tentions of  my  beaux  were  having  their  usual  effect. 
To  achieve  my  best  success  at  female-impersonation, 
the  stimulus  of  an  appreciative  and  responsive  au- 
dience of  youthful  Lotharios  was  necessary.  Our 
hilarity  was  more  and  more  attracting  the  eyes  and 
ears  of  all  other  guests.  Some  recognized  me  as  a 
female-impersonator.  Calls  began  to  reach  me:  "O 
you  Jennie  June,  give  us  an  impersonation  of  a  prima 
donna!"  The  old-timers  were  remarking  to  new 
patrons  of  the  "hostelry" :  "The  little  fellow  with  the 
red  bow  is  a  fairie !" 

Hypnotized  by  the  adulation  of  those  whom  I 
looked  upon  as  demigods,  as  well  as  by  the  well-dis- 
posed attention  of  the  other  hundred-odd  guests  at- 
tracted by  my  unique,  yet  fairly  modest,  behavior,  I 
broke  into  the  "Old  Oaken  Bucket" — a  song  affording 
unusual  opportunity  to  display  my  masculine-feminine 
tones:  below  middle  A,  baritone;  from  A  upward, 
alto;  with  an  occasional  soprano  and  tenor  modulation 
thrown  in  just  to  excite  wonder.  I  fancy  my  singing 
voice  is  unusual  in  its  variety  of  possible  modulation 

i  Decades    ago    I    read    in    a    newspaper    this    imperfectly 
remembered  lyric.     Name  of  poet  not  published. 


112  Man  and  Woman  in  One  Body. 

as  a  result  of  my  body  being  both  male  and  female. 
In  my  singing  voice  particularly,  these  two  elements 
are  ever  striving  for  the  upper  hand.  One  stanza  each 
of  several  songs  then  in  vogue  followed:  "After  the 
Ball  Was  Over";  "Sweet  Rosy  O'Grady";  "Just  Tell 
Them  That  You  Saw  Me" ;  etc. 

Next  I  recited  a  dialogue,  my  naturally  bland,  sen- 
timental, and  caressing  voice  now  aping  a  cry-baby 
mademoiselle,  and  now  a  stern,  hoarse-voiced  he-man. 
Now  I  burlesqued  feminine  airs  and  cadences ;  and  now 
strove  after  the  most  virile  and  dare-devil  effects. 

I  was,  while  the  focus  for  all  eyes,  conscious  only 
of  the  joy  of  being  alive  and  in  the  midst  of  an  admir- 
ing group.  I  experienced  a  feeling  of  exultation  that 
for  a  brief  spell  I  was  looked  upon  under  my  real  char- 
acter— a  bisexual.  I  was  intoxicated  with  delight  be- 
cause emancipated — though  only  for  a  few  moments — 
from  a  hated  dissimulation  and  disguise,  and  enabled 
to  be  myself.  Assuredly  another  personality  than  that 
of  my  every-day  book-worm  self  was  in  possession  of 
my  body  and  faculties.  I  realized  I  was  the  same  / 
who  was  one  of  the  leaders  in  scholarship  at  the  uni- 
versity. At  the  same  time,  I  realized  I  was  doing 
things  incongruous  with  that  position. 

At  midnight,  I  bade  my  convives  a  reluctant  adieu. 
Before  boarding  an  elevated  train,  I  turned  several 
corners  abruptly  and  hid  in  the  first  dark  doorway  to 
make  sure  of  not  being  dogged.  But  no  Rialto  asso- 
ciate ever  did.  After  alighting  from  the  train,  I 
adopted  the  same  strategy,  to  make  assurance  doubly 
sure.1 

1  I   was   dogged   only   three   times   in   my   many   years   of 
leading  a  double  life:    (1)   Several  Stuyvesant  Square  clubmen 


Being  "Dogged".  113 

Arrived  in  my  room,  I  first  dropped  to  my  knees 
to  thank  Providence  for  restoration  to  my  every-day 
world.  I  rejoiced  that  the  ordeal  of  a  female-imper- 
sonation spree  was  over  for  a  week.  But  the  following 
days,  while  resting  my  mind  for  a  moment  from  hard 
study,  I  gloated  over  the  memory  of  my  latest  asso- 
ciations, as  a  member  of  the  gentle  sex,  with  the  tre- 
mendously virile  type  of  adolescent. 

succeeded,  unbeknown  to  me,  in  boarding  the  same  elevated 
train.  I  discovered  them  only  after  I  had  descended  to  the 
street.  My  refusal  to  proceed  to  my  lodgings  so  incensed  them 
that  they  disfigured  my  face  with  blows.  (2)  I  was  dogged 
again  by  several  other  Stuyvesant  Square  clubmen.  I  discovered 
them  before  I  boarded  the  train.  Again  my  refusal  to  proceed 
angered  them  to  giving  me  a  beating.  [They  beat  me  because 
they  had  been  taught  that  androgynes  are  monsters  of  depravity. 
All  were  around  twenty  years  old.]  (3)  I  was  dogged  in  1918 
by  a  ruffian  of  twenty-two,  with  whom  I  had  talked  confidential- 
ly, but  finally  forsook  because  my  usual  test  had  shown  him  un- 
trustworthy. He  followed  me  for  more  than  a  mile,  although  I 
turned  several  corners  suddenly  and  stood  in  a  doorway  and 
watched.  But  he  had  reckoned  on  my  doing  just  that,  and  in 
some  mysterious  way  guarded  against  my  discovering  him. 
He  was  evidently  a  super-crafty  criminal.  On  straight  stretches 
of  street,  I  lookea  back  half-a-dozen  times,  but  saw  nothing  of 
him.  (Because  he  had  always  taken  the  opposite  side  of  the 
street  and  kept  such  a  distance  behind  I  could  not  recognize  him, 
while  his  own  eyesight  carried  further  than  mine.)  When  I 
arrived  at  my  goal  (fortunately  this  time  an  amusement  resort 
and  not  my  home),  he  gave  me  one  of  the  surprises  of  my  life 
by  coming  up  to  me.    I  fled  from  him  in  irrational  terror. 

Note.— See  "Memories"  in  Part  VIIL 


114  The  Fairie  Boy. 


HI.    The  Gambler. 

"Where  is  my  wandering  boy  to-night — 

The  boy  of  my  tenderest  care, 
The  boy  that  was  once  my  joy  and  light, 

The  child  of  my  love  and  prayer?" 

In  chapter  III  I  shall  portray  one  of  the  most 
remarkable  of  the  Adonises  that  I  met  during  my  18- 
months  Rialto  career,  to  which  the  present  Part 
Three  is  devoted,  and  in  chapter  IV,  the  most  remark- 
able youthful  Hercules.  Other  Adonises  of  the  Rialto 
are  protrayed  in  my  Riddle  of  the  Underworld. 
The  remainder  of  the  present  book,  to  the  end  of  Part 
V,  will  describe  some  of  the  most  remarkable  ultra- 
androgynes  (female-impersonators)  that  I  met  in  the 
Rialto.  For  a  description  of  my  most  noteworthy 
"fallen  angel"  confidants,  I  refer  to  my  Riddle,  and 
to  my  fourth  book,  now  in  preparation,  Susa,  which 
gives  the  entire  life  of  the  Queen  of  the  Rialto  of  the 
middle  of  the  last  decade  of  the  nineteenth  century. 
As  I  was  fated  to  become  the  most  widely  known 
female-impersonator  of  the  Rialto,  Susa  was  the  most 
widely  known  vampire.  Two  detested  and  cordially 
loathed  types,  but  actually  not  a  hundredth  as  bad  as 
they  had  the  name  of  being ! 

Numerous  Rialto  pals  were  adolescent  profes- 
sional gamblers.  Because  of  that,  I  have  chosen  to 
devote  an  entire  chapter  to  a  characterization  of  the 
type.  More  than  that,  the  young  blood  forming  the 
subject  of  the  present  chapter  was  my  "No.  1"  friend 
among  the  couple  of  hundred  Lotharios  with  whom  I 


New  York's  Beau  Brummel.  115 

mingled  in  the  Rialto.  He  became  my  favorite  be- 
cause he  was  the  most  elegantly  dressed — and  close  to 
the  handsomest — adolescent  I  ever  met.  Above  all, 
he  possessed  the  most  genial  disposition. 

Has  the  reader  ever  remarked  that  just  that  kind 
of  disposition  generally  goes  hand  in  hand  with  deceit 
and  hypocrisy?  Later — to  my  bitterest  sorrow — the 
hero-boy  now  being  described  was  discovered  to  be 
the  greatest  hypocrite  I  ever  met.  In  January,  1895, 
I  made  his  acquaintance.  For  half-a-year  he  manifest- 
ed the  greatest  affection — all  feigned  as  I  later  found. 
When  he  had  wrung  me  dry,  he — entirely  unexpectedly 
— flourished  a  loaded  revolver  around  my  head,  and 
cried :  "If  you  ever  speak  to  me  again,  or  even  come 
into  the  same  room,  I  will  put  a  bullet  through  your 
head !" 

This  quondam  soul-mate  had  such  a  craze  for  ac- 
quiring money — generally  by  foul  means — as  I  have 
never  witnessed  in  another.  He  made  it  a  condition 
of  our  spending  a  couple  of  hours  together  that  I  put 
into  his  palm  a  five-dollar  bill.  But  though  I  could 
get  plenty  of  other  company  of  his  type  gratis,  I  was 
so  fascinated  with  him  that  I  never  gave  a  second 
thought  to  the  self-sacrifice  that  such  gifts  demanded 
during  my  student  days.  While  promenading  the 
streets  with  him,  I  would,  every  other  minute,  glance 
into  his  face,  reflecting:  "The  handsomest  and  best 
dressed  young  fellow  of  the  Rialto  is  mine."  While 
we  were  seated  in  a  theatre  together,  I  would  often 
gaze  into  his  face  instead  of  at  the  players,  reflect- 
ing: "New  York's  Beau  Brummel  is  my  soul- 
mate."  For  no  soft  hair,  no  rosebud  cheeks  in  a 
Note.— See  "Recollection"  in  Part  VIII. 


116  Apostrophe  to  Lost  Soahnate. 

male,  no  arched  eyebrows — ever  surpassed  those  of 
the  Adonis  now  being  described.  He  was  perfection 
in  face,  head,  and  body.  He  was  perfection  in  dress. 
He    was    perfection    in    disposition — ONLY    he    was 

ULTRA-DECEITFUL. 

********  *  * 

Buddie  McDonald!  Whom  for  over  twenty- 
five  years  I  have  not  seen  or  had  news  of !  I  am  here 
addressing  you  because  it  is  the  only  possible  way  to 
get  through  a  message.  If  these  lines  should  ever 
fall  under  your  eyes,  and  you  should,  in  this  chapter, 
recognize  yourself — somewhat  covered  in  order  to  hide 
our  identities — I  wish  to  tell  you  that  I  have  through 
the  years  always  granted  you  first  place  in  my  heart 
after  my  mother  alone,  and  if  we  could  ever  run  across 
one  another,  I  still  stand  ready  to  enslave  myself  to 
you,  notwithstanding  you  doubtless  have  lost  (because 
age  deals  no  differently  with  you  than  with  all  other 
sons  and  daughters  of  Adam)  nearly  all  your  litheness 
and  charm.  But  I  still  love  you  for  what  you  were 
in  your  earlier  twenties.  Throughout  a  quarter  of  a 
century  I  have  been  longing  and  waiting  for  a  chance 
encounter  with  you.  Many  times  have  I  eyed  every 
man  passed  in  New  York's  crowds  hoping  to  recognize 
your  face.  Nothing  would  I  like  better  than  to  spend 
my  declining  years  knit  to  your  genial  personality  and 
heroic,  grand-aired  spirit.  I  freely  pardon  your  past 
treachery — though  it  almost  drove  me  insane — if  only 
you  would  condescend  to  let  my  soul  be  knit  to  yours 
until  death  do  us  part! 

Buddie  McDonald!  The  most  precious  of  all 
names !     If  it  were  my  idol's  legal  name,  I  would  not 


The  Gambler's  Antecedents.  117 

disclose  it.    It  was  the  alias  he  used  in  the  Rialto  and 
the  only  name  I  knew  him  by. 

Buddie  told  me  that  he  was  born  and  brought  up 
on  a  farm  near  Lake  Ontario.  His  people  were  Metho- 
dists. He  had  always  gone  to  Sunday  school  and  Ep- 
worth  league,  because  his  parents  required  it.  For 
he  was  a  black  sheep  by  birth — the  only  one  in  his  little 
rural  community.  When  nineteen,  the  seventeen-year 
daughter  of  a  neighbor  appeared  with  her  parents  be- 
fore a  justice  of  the  peace.  Buddie  lived  with  his  child- 
wife  only  three  days  and  then  stole  away  for  parts  un- 
known. What  pangs  the  poor  girl  must  have  suffered 
thus  to  lose  a  genuine  Adonis — in  beauty  one  man  out 
of  a  thousand — to  the  arms  of  the  demimonde!  She 
had  doubtless  been  comforting  herself  and  congratu- 
lating herself  that  she  had  won  for  life  as  her  help- 
meet the  most  bewitching  young  blood  of  the  com- 
munity. And  after  just  three  days  to  be  forever  left 
in  the  lurch ! 

"Buddie  McDonald"  immediately  bobbed  up  in  the 
Rialto  under  that  alias.  In  the  Rialto !  At  that  time 
one  of  the  two  chief  amusement  and  gambling  centers 
of  the  Western  Continent,  the  magnet  for  the  black 
sheep  of  pious  families  all  over  the  United  States. 
He  immediately  adopted  the  profession  of  card  sharp- 
er, being  endowed  with  the  peculiar  mentality  neces- 
sary. 

While  we  were  pals,  he  was  twenty-two — just 
a  year  older  than  myself.  From  ten  to  midnight  one 
evening  each  week,  I  dogged  him  in  one  of  the  half- 
dozen  gambling  joints  among  which  he  divided  his 
"working"  hours. 


118  Fairie  a  Bachelor  of  Arts. 

I  was  too  much  of  a  goody-goody  ever  to  gamble 
myself.  I  would  merely  sit  for  hours  as  spectator.  It 
was  intense  pleasure  merely  to  have  under  my  eyes  the 
type  of  adolescent  that  sows  wild  oats. 

Among  my  associates  in  the  Rialto  resorts  were 
youthful  actors  playing  at  the  several  theatres,  race- 
track book-makers,  wealthy  adolescents  who  spent 
their  evenings  sipping  gross  pleasures,  and  high-fliers 
of  the  feminine  persuasion — at  that  date  as  thick  in 
the  Rialto  as  flies  in  summer  around  an  open  jug  of 
molasses. 

I  was  now  in  my  third  year  of  leading  a  double 
life.  My  every-day  circle  was  without  suspicion. 
Outside  my  one  evening  per  week  in  the  Rialto,  I  led 
a  most  industrious  student  life,  even  winning  prizes. 
I  had  already  been  awarded  the  bachelor's  degree  cum 
laude  and  was  in  my  first  year  of  graduate  study.  Of 
course  I  had  never  revealed  to  any  Rialto  associate 
that  I  was  a  university  student.  I  was  known  there 
merely  as  "Jennie  June,"  while  the  few  who  took  the 
trouble  to  inquire  my  legal  name  never  questioned 
"Ralph  Werther."  And  my  three  most  intimate 
Lothario  friends  of  the  Rialto  were  too  busy  evenings 
— Martin  and  Paul,1  chasing  chippies,  and  Buddie, 
victimizing  youthful  greenhorns — to  investigate  where 
I  spent  my  time  while  not  in  the  Rialto.  They  have 
each  asked  me  where  I  lived.  I  gave  a  fictitious  ad- 
dress, hoping  they  would  not  investigate.  And  they 
never  did.  And  my  three  most  intimate  androgyne 
friends — Roland  Reeves,  Eunice,  and  Phyllis — were, 
like  myself,  living  a  double  life  incognito,  and  thus 

i  Martin  and  Paul  are  depicted  in  THE  RIDDLE  OF  THE 
UNDERWORLD. 


"Things  Are  Not  What  They  Seem."  119 

were  the  more  inclined  to  respect  my  disinclination  to 
refer  to  my  every-day  life. 

To  the  university  circle  I  thus  continued  the  "in- 
nocent" from  whose  view  Heaven  had  mercifully  shut 
off  the  seamy  side  of  life,  particularly  the  Underworld. 
They  declared  they  never  saw  any  one  with  such  weak 
sexuality!  But  I  actually  knew  a  thousand  times  as 
much  about  passion  and  crime  as  any  one  of  them. 
Some  complained  because  I  "never  associated  with 
men  and  learned  human  nature" !  But  I  secretly  knew 
human  nature  far  better  than  any  of  them.  They 
thought  that  my  feminine  predilections  and  lack  of 
worldly  wisdom  (seeming)  were  due  to  my  being  a 
recluse !  And  I  was  a  recluse  so  far  as  concerned  uni- 
versity social  affairs.  For  I  elected  to  take  my  diver- 
sions as  a  mademoiselle — not  as  a  gallant. 

But  to  return  to  Buddie  :  I  have  picked  out  for 
description  that  one  of  my  numerous  evenings  spent 
in  part  with  him  which  best  illustrates  his  character 
and  our  relations.  Afternoons  and  evenings  he  hung 
around  fashionable  hotel  lobbies  and  exhibition  halls 
to  scrape  acquaintance  with  moderately  wealthy  and 
sportily  inclined  Reubs  making  their  first  trip  to  New 
York.  With  his  unmatched  geniality  and  hypocrisy, 
he  was  decidedly  successful  in  getting  a  line  aboard 
some  "sport"  from  upstate,  and  taking  him  in  tow. 
For  with  Buddie,  it  was  "Brother,  this"  and  "Brother, 
that".  A  large  proportion  of  the  Reubs  whom  Buddie 
condescended  to  buttonhole  congratulated  themselves 
doubtless  on  their  good  luck  in  happening  on  such  a 
friendly  New  Yorker — a  gentleman  of  leisure  and  a 
big  roll  of  yellow  backs  (which  Buddie  always  took 
pains  to  wave  before  the  eyes  of  Reubs,  a  manoeuvre 


120  Gambling  a  Master  Passion. 

tending  to  hypnotise  them)  who  condescended  to  show 
them  the  sights  of  the  metropolis,  and,  above  all,  take 
them  where  they  could  quadruple  and  quintuple  their 
funds  in  a  single  evening.  The  passion  for  enrichment 
by  a  stroke  of  luck  is,  after  woman  and  wine,  the  chief 
pitfall  for  "he-men. "  An  appeal  to  this  craze  in  Reubs 
ambitious  to  be  "sports"  has  good  prospects  of  success 
for  brainy  metropolitan  prestidigitators. 

On  Buddie's  and  my  entering  into  a  solemn  con- 
tract— very  similar  to  a  marriage  bond — to  be  "best 
friends,"  he  agreed  to  reserve  one  entire  evening  each 
week  for  me  alone.  But  it  was  only  the  fourth  that  I 
had  to  sit  in  a  Fourteenth  Street  restaurant  for  two 
long  hours  waiting  in  vain.  I  was  -wiping  my  tear- 
bedimmed  eyes  four  times  a  minute.  Other  diners 
probably  thought  I  was  experiencing  some  overwhelm- 
ing bereavement. 

At  ten  I  made  the  rounds  of  the  gambling  joints 
frequented  by  my  soul-mate.  I  finally  caught  sight 
of  his  wondrous  blonde  hair  and  peachlike  cheeks  in 
the  very  last — as  always  happens — of  his  half-dozen 
stamping-grounds.  In  the  last  decade  of  the  nine- 
teenth century,  it  was  pre-eminently  New  York's 
Monte  Carlo  (which  name  I  give  it  in  this  book) .  The 
walls  were  paneled  in  rosewood.  Every  six  feet  a 
heavy  gilt-framed  plate-glass  mirror  reached  halfway 
tt>  the  15-foot  ceiling.  The  latter  was  painted  with 
Cupids  and  Venuses,  in  all  sorts  of  poses,  amid  fleecy 
clouds  floating  in  such  a  blue  sky  as  is  actually  beheld 
only  in  Italy.  The  myriads  of  crystal  prisms  pendent 
from  the  huge  chandeliers  emitted  all  the  colors  of  the 
spectrum.  The  floor  was  mosaic — in  such  exquisite 
patterns  that  it  seemed  a  sin  to  set  foot  on  it.     The 


In  New  York's  Monte  Carlo.  121 

ebony  furniture  was  inlaid  with  mother-of-pearl  in 
floral  patterns. 

I  rushed  to  Buddie's  side  noiselessly  because,  with 
three  other  smartly  dressed  young  bloods,  he  was  ab- 
sorbed in  a  game.  I  knelt  beside  my  hero-boy  with 
head  against  his  arm. 

When  the  hand  was  played  out,  Buddie,  throwing 
at  me  the  sweetest  of  smiles,  addressed  the  only  one  of 
the  four  who  was  a  stranger:  "Mr.  Myers,  let  me  in- 
troduce Jennie  June,  the  female-impersonator.  I  am 
used  to  her  hanging  around  while  we  fellows  are  play- 
ing. Do  not  let  her  presence  distract  you.  Jennie 
and  I  call  each  other  'Best  Friend.'  Perhaps  you 
never  before  ran  up  against  a  person  who  is  one-third 
man,  one-third  woman,  and  one-third  infant.  Thst 
explains  why  she  nestles  up  against  me  so  affection- 
ately." 

But  Mr.  Myers  appeared  to  be  unutterably  shock- 
ed. Particularly  since  I  was  in  male  attire.  He  ap- 
peared incredulous.  He  had  never  even  dreamed  that 
a  third  sex  exists. 

After  an  hour  Buddie  said :  "Jennie,  take  my  keys, 
go  to  my  room,  and  wait  for  me  there.  Because  I  will 
not  get  home  until  long  after  midnight." 

On  arrival  he  exclaimed:  "Jennie,  what  do  you 
think  of  your  new  friend,  Mr.  Abraham  Myers,  the 
Beau  Brummel  of  Myersville  upstate,  who  is  enjoying 
his  first  visit  to  our  village?" 

"I  think,  Buddie,  that  before  to-night  he  had  never 
been  in  any  place  worse  than  a  church  social.  His 
evening  in  the  Monte  Carlo  must  have  been  an  eye- 


122  Crooks  Are  Boastful. 

opener.  Whenever  my  gaze  fell  on  the  poor  innocent, 
the  words  of  the  Bible  went  through  my  head :  'He  is 
led  as  a  lamb  to  the  slaughter !  And  as  a  sheep  before 
her  shearers  is  dumb,  so  he  openeth  not  his  mouth !'  I 
am  sorry  my  hero-boy  stoops  to  take  advantage  of  an 
unsophisticated  Reub !  ' 

While  we  ate  our  midnight  lunch,  Buddie  confided 
his  evening's  adventure.  I  was  always  inquisitive 
about  the  ways  and  habits  of  the  tremendously  virile — 
how  they  looked  upon  the  mystery  we  call  "life" — and 
habitually  put  to  my  numerous  soulmates  a  long  list  of 
questions  in  case  they  did  not  spontaneously  overflow. 
But  it  is  an  earmark  of  crooks  to  be  garrulous  with 
their  soulmates.  The  former  are  proud  of  their 
sharpwittedness  and  gloat  in  unburdening  their  minds 
to  some  one  they  think  they  can  trust.  Their  charac- 
teristic bragging  to  confidants  is  one  of  the  chief  means 
by  which  many  of  them  finally  fall  within  the  toils  of 
the  law. 

Secondly,  Buddie  was  my  soulmate.  At  that 
date,  we  felt  ourselves  husband  and  wife.  For  I 
am  myself  fundamentally  a  woman,  though  pos- 
sessing the  male  primary  determinants.  The  re- 
lationship of  knit  souls — amalgamation  of  two 
separate  personalities  of  opposite  sex  into  ONE 
human  being — I  have  discovered  tends  to  mutual 
confidences.  I  had  already  several  times  been 
in  Buddie's  presence  when  he  had  an  intended  victim 
(always  a  Reub)  in  tow,  and  saw  through  everything 
even  if  he  had  not  told  me.  If  it  be  asked  how  I,  pre- 
tending to  be  of  high  morals,  could  associate  with 
sharpers,  I  answer :  Love  IS  BLIND.  In  my  subsequent 
Bowery  period,  described  in  my  Autobiography  of  an 


Fairies  Best  Stool  Pigeons.  123 

Androgyne  and  The  Riddle  of  the  Underworld,  I 
was  knit  into  one  being  with  youthful  burglars,  who, 
to  whet  my  admiration  for  themselves,  have  enter- 
tained me  with  accounts  of  their  burgling  houses  and 
demonstrated  their  truthfulness  by  exhibiting  terrible 
scars  from  gunshot  wounds  suffered  as  they  were 
fleeing  from  a  burglary  they  had  "made  a  mess  of." 
I  would  never  have  thought  of  contributing  in  any  way 
to  bring  them  to  justice;  first,  because  I  slavishly 
adored  them,  and  secondly,  because  I  knew  I  would  be 
murdered  if  they  should  ever  entertain  the  least  sus- 
picion that  I  would  "peach." 

Experience  taught  me,  during  my  six  years  in 
New  York's  Underworld,  that  crooks  are  particularly 
prone  to  confess  to  a  fairie  intimate.  For  they  con- 
sidered fairies  (under  the  legal  ban  of  ten  years'  im- 
prisonment in  New  York)  far  worse  criminals  and  far 
worse  defiers  of  the  law  than  themselves.  Fairies — 
they  thought — would  not  dare  "peach." 

Fairies  would  serve  as  the  best  stool  pigeons  for 
ferreting  out  thieves,  just  as  keen  filles  de  joie  are  em- 
ployed as  detectives. 

Buddie  McDonald  had  already  received  many 
proofs  that  I  idolized  him  and  would  never  do  anything 
to  his  detriment.  True:  five  months  later  he  did 
"shake"  me  definitely  and  emphatically.  But  this  was 
because  he  had  discovered  he  had  wrung  out  of  me  all 
the  money  he  could;  he  had  become  financially  inde- 
pendent beyond  his  wildest  dreams ;  and  I  had  come  to 
be  a  terrible  bore  through  hanging  around  his  room 
several  times  a  week  and  demonstrating  myself  in- 
satiable. 


124  The  Abraham  Myers  Adventure. 

I  summarize,  as  nearly  as  I  can  recollect,  Buddie's 

account  of  the  Abraham  Myers  adventure. 
********  *  * 

It  was  on  account  of  my  roping  Abraham  in, 
Jennie,  that  I  had  to  cause  you  that  terrible  crying 
spell  at  the  restaurant.  But  you  will  sure  forgive  me 
when  you  come  to  realize  that  it  is  not  every  afternoon 
that  a  fellow  comes  across  a  hundred-dollar  wad  on  the 
floor  of  Madison  Square  Garden  waiting  for  some 
bloke  to  pick  her  up. 

While  Abe  and  I  were  watching  the  poor  devils 
spinning  around  the  track,  I  slyly  pumped  out  that  he 
is  the  only  son  and  hope  of  Jonathan  Myers,  owner  of 
the  knitting-mill  that  put  Myersville  on  the  map. 
Having  once  been  a  hayseed  myself,  Jennie,  I  know 
what  pulls  strong  with  them.  So,  to  get  a  line  aboard 
Abe,  I  first  gave  him  an  hour  of  soft  soap.  "Yes, 
brother,  I  spent  the  summer  of  1892  up  in  Squeedunk 
in  your  part  of  the  state.  It  sure  is  a  garden  of  Eden. 
.  .  .  .How  did  this  year's  potato  crop  pan  out?.  .  .  .And 
I  myself  know  everything  from  A  to  Z  about  breaking 
in  a  colt.  I  was  raised  on  a  farm  up  in  New 
Hampshire." 

After  Abe  showed  he  thought  I  am  the  best  fellow 
ever  and  I  had  found  him  to  be  an  easy  mark,  it  was 
time  to  discuss  money.  "Money,  brother!  You  have 
a  little  and  you  love  it.  If  only  a  fellow  has  money, 
he  can  go  everywhere  and  have  everything.  Wouldn't 
you  like  me  to  show  where  you  can  take  your  money, 

AND    IN    THE    SHAKE    OF    A    LAMB'S    TAIL    MAKE    MORE 
MONEY   OUT   OF   IT?" 

Abraham  right  away  bit  hard.  So  I  dropped  the 
subject  for  an  hour.      I  didn't  want  him  to  smell  a 


Blarney  Triumphant.  125 

rat.  And  my  silence  would  all  the  more  make  him 
hanker  after  the  magic  place  where  one  could  see  his 
dough  swell  five-fold  at  a  sitting. 

After  the  first  hour  of  blarney,  I  asked  Abe  to  let 
me  show  him  some  of  the  sights  of  the  Tenderloin, 
which  all  red-blooded  Reubs  hanker  to  see.  "I  swan !" 
he  exclaimed.  "I  never  believed  such  charming  and 
handsome  ladies  existed!"  I  next  took  him  to  the 
Waldorf  to  dine.  Of  course  I  did  not  let  him  pay  out  a 
cent.  Only  one  red-blooded  hay-seed  out  of  a  hundred 
will,  at  the  last,  balk  at  sitting  down  at  the  card  table, 
where  I  can  get  every  penny  back  with  interest  at 
10,000  per  cent.  We  sharpwitted  fellows  have  to  take 
those  chances,  Jennie. 

As  we  swilled  such  grub  as  Abe  had  never  even 
smelled  of,  he  rubbernecked  at  the  wonderful  frescoes 
and  stared  at  the  polished  marble  columns  which 
made  the  great  dining-room  like  a  forest.  "This  place 
is  like  what  I  have  dreamed  heaven  to  be!"  he  broke 
out  over  and  over  again.  He  was  so  soft!  "You  are 
awful  good,  Mr.  McDonald,  to  bring  me  to  see  all  these 
heavenly  things.  I  never  believed  there  lived  such  an 
awf ul  good  fellow !"....  Hah-hah-hah,  Jennie !  He 
was  clean  daft ! 

But,  Jennie,  I  would  never  humbug  a  friend  that 
way.  Specially  you,  because  you  and  I  are  "best 
friends."  You  see,  Jennie,  Abe  Myers  was  a  stranger 
with  a  big  wad.  I  was  loading  him  with  favors  and 
pulling  the  wool  over  his  eyes  because  my  plan  was  to 
wring  him  dry  before  I  let  him  get  out  of  my  hands. 
Such  tricks  are  what  we  smarter  straight  men  of 
Fourteenth  Street  are  for.  We  have  to  live  off  the 
greenhorns 


126       How  They  Milk  Cows  on  Fourteenth  Street. 

Don't,  don't  begin  to  chew  the  rag,  Jennie!  My 
only  sorrow  is  that  I  haven't  enough  dough.  Abe 
Myers'  old  man  has  barrels  full.  Abe  will  not  suffer 
more  than  a  few  hours  on  account  of  the  eighty-odd 
bucks  I  wrung  out  of  him. 

At  nine  we  boarded  a  car  for  Fourteenth  Street. 
We  went  into  the  bar-room  of  the  Monte  Carlo  and 
sent  a  few  glasses  of  champagne  chasing  after  the 
many  already  swallowed.  The  poor  innocent  said 
his  head  swam !  Hah-hah !  He  acted  bashful-like  as 
if  he  had  never  before  tasted  a  drop.  But  he  was  too 
scart  of  being  set  down  as  a  sissie  to  balk  at  another, 
and  still  another,  glass  while  I  waited  for  Pedro  and 
Tracy.  For  I  had  phoned  them  to  meet  me  at  the 
Monte  Carlo  at  nine  to  milk  a  cow.  For  they  are  my 
regular  partners,  Jennie.  They  haven't  the  brains 
to  get  a  line  aboard  a  Reub,  but  know  the  ropes  when 
I  am  at  their  elbow  to  give  them  their  cue.  We  have 
an  understanding  that  I  will  later  make  good  their 
evening's  losses,  or  take  my  share  of  the  winnings 
that  I  throw  into  their  hands.  I  guarantee  that  they 
will  each  be  to  the  good  by  one-tenth  of  the  night's 
clean-up;  my  share,  for  furnishing  the  brains  and 
taking  all  the  risk,  being  eight-tenths. 

Of  course  we  made  it  look  as  if  Pedro  and  Tracy 
dropped  in  by  chance.  All  three  of  us  did  our  best 
to  give  Abraham  the  happiest  hour  of  his  life.  When 
the  time  was  ripe,  I  said:  "Fellows,  what  do  you  say 
to  a  hand  at  cards?" 

Pedro  and  Tracy  seconded  my  motion.  I  watched 
Abe's  face  to  learn  what  I  could  count  on  and  how  far 
I  dared  go.  It  looked  awful  sheepish,  as  you  said, 
Jennie.     But  I  must  say  for  Abraham  that  he  is  red- 


A  "Reub"  Seeing  New  York.  127 

blooded  and  would  not  back  down  in  any  manly  under- 
taking. Like  ninety-nine  out  of  every  hundred  Reubs 
wanting  to  be  sports,  Abe  Myers  wouldn't  balk  even 
though  he  felt  in  his  bones  he  was  being  led  down  to 
hell.  But  he  barely  lagged  after  us  into  the  card-room. 
But  this  was  probably  on  account  of  his  Methodist 
bringing  up,  like  my  own.  He  could  not  possibly  have 
thought  we  were  plotting  to  fleece  him.  As  we 
swilled  grub  in  the  Waldorf,  I  had  given  his 
hand  a  hearty  shake  when  he  told  me  he  was  a 
member  of  the  Epworth  League.  I  said  I  also  was, 
as  really  when  I  lived  back  home.  Besides  all  three  of 
us  had  patted  him  on  the  back  and  lionized  him. 
There  were  aristocrats  all  about.  And  the  Monte 
Carlo  is  such  a  high-class  joint,  decorated  like  Vander- 
bilt's  palace.  Abe  probably  thought — like  he  said 
about  the  ceilings  in  the  Waldorf :  "Sure  I  ought  not  to 
mind  the  loss  of  a  few  bucks.  It  is  worth  that  to  see 
all  this  heavenly  art,  so  much  beyond  anything  I  ever 
believed  existed  on  earth.  Besides  Mr.  McDonald 
has  been  awf  ully  good  !  Spent  a  mint  of  money  on  me ! 
He  sure  couldn't  let  any  harm  befall  me !" 

For,  Jennie,  just  that  is  the  secret  of  getting  the 
best  of  strangers.  Treat  them  just  lovely  until  the 
moment  comes  to  pluck  out  their  feathers. 

We  were  soon  buried  in  faro,  as  you  saw  while 
with  us,  Jennie.  I  played  the  banker  and  the  others 
staked  their  money  against  me  upon  the  order  in  which 
the  cards  would  lie  as  dealt  from  the  pack.  The  play 
ran  on  for  over  two  hours.  We  spoke  hardly  a  word. 
First  along  we  each  staked  a  dollar  on  each  lay- 
out. But  later  five.  For  the  first  hour — while  you  were 
watching,  Jennie — I  turned  things  Abe's  way  a  little. 


128  "Death  to  the  Traitor." 

I  wanted  to  get  him  awfully  interested.  When  the 
time  came  to  throw  things  in  the  other  direction,  I 
had  to  send  you  home,  Jennie,  for  fear  you  would  make 
some  remark  about  my  sleight-of-hand  that  would  put 
everything  in  bad.  Of  course  if  Abe  had  not  been 
awful  green  at  cards,  he  would  have  got  wise  too. 

And,  Jennie,  I  remind  you  this  once  for  all  time. 
The  saying  is:  "Death  to  the  traitor!"  And  I  know 
that  you  love  life  better  than  death.  See  how  easy  it 
would  be  for  me  to  grab  your  throat  and  in  a  few  min- 
utes you  would  be  a  goner  without  being  able  even  to 
make  a  whisper.  But  I  know  you  could  never  do  any- 
thing but  help  along  your  "hero-boy." 

After  midnight,  Jennie,  there  happened  what  I 
had  been  looking  for.  With  trembling  hands,  Abe 
opened  up  his  wallet  to  let  us  see  the  three  one-dollar 
bills  still  lining  it.  He  said  awful  plucky:  "Fellows, 
I  am  almost  at  the  end  of  my  tether.  I  need  this  bit 
until  I  can  get  some  dough  from  dad."  I  felt  sorry 
for  the  poor  kid,  patted  him  on  the  back,  and  handed 
him  ten  dollars  from  my  own  wad.  I  said  we  would 
play  till  he  won  back  his  losses.  But  at  last  he  balked. 
So  I  said :  "Let's  go  to  the  bar-room  and  have  a  drink." 

Pedro,  Tracy,  and  myself  spit  out  soft  soap  over 
our  drinks  for  a  few  minutes.  For  some  time  I  had 
seen  that  Abraham  was  awful  worried.  He  now  hard- 
ly opened  his  mouth  except  to  answer  a  question.  He 
looked  as  if  he  were  all  the  time  saying  to  himself: 
"I'll  never  get  into  another  scrape  like  this  again !" 
But  he  did  not  dare  even  breathe  a  whisper  about  us 
being  sharpers.  We  were  three  against  him  alone,  and 
even  sweller  dressed.  Besides,  being  a  stranger  in  New 
York,  he  lacked  sense. 


A  Sadder,  but  Wiser  "Reub."  129 

I  judged  it  time  to  escort  him  to  his  hotel,  because 
he  needed  some  one  to  steady  him.  He  looked  a  wreck. 
Because  he  was  not  used  to  champagne  and  all.  We 
shook  hands  with  Pedro  and  Tracy,  and  boarded  a  car 
for  the  Grand  Union,  where  all  the  middle-class  Reubs 
put  up.  Even  when  we  were  alone  in  front  of  his 
hotel,  he  did  not  have  the  nerve  to  call  me  down.  I 
have  fleeced  Reubs  who  have  given  me  a  good  punch 
in  the  mug  when  they  got  me  alone.  Abe  must  have 
thought  I  am  straight. 

I  shook  his  hand  good-night,  patted  him  on  the 
back  for  the  last  time,  and  said  I  would  call  this  coming 
evening  to  give  him  a  chance  to  win  back  his  money. 
Of  course  I  never  expected  to  keep  the  engagement. 
I  don't  suppose  Abe  did  either.  As  soon  as  he  got 
inside  his  hotel,  I  sneaked  away  as  fast  as  my  legs 
would  carry  me.  For  a  week,  I  shall  have  to  keep 
away  from  the  Monte  Carlo. 


130  The  Fairie  Boy. 


IV.     A  Stuyvesant  Square  Pick-up. 

It  is  August,  1895 — several  weeks  after  Buddie 
McDonald  had  left  me  in  the  lurch,  as  he  had  his  legal 
wife,  and  as  he  probably  through  life  went  on  desert- 
ing quondam  soulmates  when  having  no  more  use  for 
them.  Furthermore,  during  this  single  summer  that 
I  frequented  the  Rialto,  I  found  it  a  barren  stamping- 
ground  for  myself.  Nearly  all  my  Lotharios  were  of 
the  moneyed  class  that  go  out  of  the  city  for  the  heated 
term,  or  at  least  while  away  their  evenings  at  a  shore 
resort  in  the  suburbs.  For  I  did  not  drift  with  solid 
business  young  men,  but  with  those  who  sought  an 
easy  life.  The  book-makers  were  at  Saratoga,  the 
vaudeville  artists  at  seaside  theatres.  Even  profes- 
sional gamblers  preferred  Saratoga  or  Long  Branch 
during  the  months  that  fools  with  money  to  burn  went 
to  those  places  rather  than  ,to  little  old  Fourteenth 
Street. 

But  in  June  I  was  fortunate  in  being  introduced 
to  some  refined  "young  fellows"  living  near  Stuy- 
vesant Square,  five  minutes  walk  from  the  Rialto. 
Business  or  a  slim  pocketbook  kept  them  in  the  city. 
I  therefore  formed  the  habit  of  staging  my  imperson- 
ation sprees  in  the  Square — a  park  of  about  six  acres. 
Within  four  weeks  I  had  been  introduced  to  several 
score  young  bloods — so  many  because  all  belonged  to 
a  neighboring  club  the  talk  of  which  I  came  to  be  on 
my  advent  because  of  my  ultra-androgynism  and  fe- 
male-impersonation.     The  majority  liked  to  flirt  with 


An  Unrivaled  Hercules.  131 

me  an  hour  in  the  park  as  if  I  were  a  full-flecl^ed 
mademoiselle.  I  was  always  clothed  as  a  youth,  al- 
though exceptionally  loud,  as  fairies  are  wont.  But 
the  present  work  will  pass  over  my  relations  with  the 
Stuyvesant  Square  club-men  because  described  in  my 
Autobiography  of  an  Androgyne. 

In  that  August  occurred  one  of  the  most  eventful 
evenings  of  my  twelve  years'  career  as  overt  female- 
impersonator.  I  had  promenaded  every  path  in  the 
Square  without  running  across  any  clubman — very  un- 
usual on  a  balmy  evening.  Therefore  just  before  dark 
I  seated  myself  next  to  the  most  attractive  stranger  in 
the  park,  where  two  thousand  people  were  enjoying 
the  cool  of  a  scorching  day.  He  looked  to  be  twenty, 
was  rather  shabbily  clad,  but  clean.  It  was  not  his 
features,  but  his  powerful  and  well  proportioned  fig- 
ure, that  attracted  me.  His  hair  was  red — a  favorite 
color  for  neckties,  but  the  very  last  I  would  choose  for 
a  beau's  chevelure.  His  face,  while  well  formed,  was 
close  to  the  very  worst  among  the  more  than  one 
thousand  young  bachelors  with  whom  I  have  coquetted. 
His  eyebrows  and  lashes  were  blonde  and  barely  vis- 
ible. His  complexion  resembled  a  sheet  of  faded 
pink  muslin — a  solid  color  all  over,  not  rosebud  or 
peachlike,  as  the  lamented  Buddie  McDonald's.  Par- 
ticularly his  cheeks  were  covered  with  pimples, 
common  in  redhaired  men,  so  that  one  wonders  how 
they  shave.  But  because  of  his  unapproached  bone 
and  muscular  development  visible  even  through  his 
clothes,  I  did  not  like  him  a  whit  the  less  on  account 
of  his  pigmentary  defects. 

For  several  months  after  that  night,  I  fell  in  love, 
at  first  sight,  with  nearly  every  red-headed  adolescent 


132  Influence  of  Environment. 

I  ran  across,  particularly  if  his  cheeks  were  covered 
with  pimples. 

In  order  to  ascertain  the  trustworthiness,  good- 
heartedness,  and  liberalmindedness  of  the  Hercules,  I 
first  drew  him  out  craftily  by  a  long  series  of  ques- 
tions. Even  people  in  my  every-day  world  have  given 
me  the  palm  for  inquisitiveness.  I  expected  to  put 
myself  in  the  power  of  Hercules  and  needed  to  find 
out  all  about  him.  I  was  always  ultra-wary  about 
falling  into  a  trap,  as  I  already  had  several  times  in 
the  Underworld.  Androgynes  are  murdered  every 
few  months  in  New  York  merely  because  of  intense 
hatred  of  effeminacy  instilled  by  education  in  the 
breasts  of  full-fledged  males. 

I  learned  Hercules'  entire  history — providing 
what  he  narrated  was  true.  To  my  joy  he  told  me  he 
had  been  reared  in  a  village  in  the  Mohawk  valley. 
Through  heart-to-heart  talks  with  hundreds  of  strange 
young  bloods  in  New  York's  Underworld  I  discovered 
that  boyhood  environment  makes  a  vast  difference  in 
adult  honesty  and  altruism.  The  country-bred  adoles- 
cent manual-laborer  is  apt  to  be  far  less  vile-mouthed 
and  pugnacious,  and  far  less  likely  to  assault  and  rob 
one  of  Nature's  step-children  than  a  young-blood  prod- 
uct of  city  slums. 

Only  after  I  had  been  able  to  form  a  favorable 
judgment  of  Hercules'  disposition,  I  began  to  disclose, 
by  my  talk,  that  I  was  an  androgyne.  From  my  dress 
and  mannerisms,  however,  any  city-bred  youth  would 
have  already  judged  my  sexual  status.  Hercules  later 
told  me  he  had,  but  had  feared  saying  something  offen- 
sive. He  said  he  had  been  impatient  for  me  to  declare 
myself. 


Author's  Flirtations  Mushy.  133 

The  following  conversation  serves  to  illustrate 
and  analyze  the  hero-worship  of  the  androgyne.  It 
is  admittedly  mushy.  The  question  is  whether  the 
reader  wants  the  mushy  or  the  untrue.  Ordinarily 
conversation  with  a  sexual  counterpart  made  me  silly. 
All  my  flirtations  were  mushy.  The  following  phrase- 
ology is  very  close  to  the  actual  except  that  I  have 
semi-translated  Harvey's  dialect  into  ordinary  Eng- 
lish. Further,  the  reader  must  educate  himself 
to  judge  justly  even  that  with  which,  as  he  reads,  he 
does  not  like  to  identify  himself  or  make  his  own  sen- 
timent. For  example,  two  confidential,  Platonic  lit- 
erary friends  told  me  that  my  original  songs  published 
in  my  Autobiography  of  an  Androgyne  were 
"sickening."  They  could  not  sympathize  with  the  an- 
drogyne sentiments  and  therefore  the  songs  were 
"shoddy."  Likewise  the  following  conversation  must 
be  judged  objectively  and  the  reader's  verdict  be  based 
on  absolute  reason,  not  on  personal  bias — not  on  the 
basis  of  the  reader's  ability  to  put  himself  in  the  place 
of  the  Hercules  or  myself.  It  is  a  conversation  to  be 
analyzed  scientifically. 

"Beau,  see  how  much  bigger  your  hands  are  than 
mine!  And  how  horny  the  palms!  I  bet  you  would 
give  a  good  account  of  yourself  in  a  fight!" 

"I've  had  lessons  in  pugilism.  Besides  I  come 
from  a  strong-built  family.  Me  father's  piano -mover 
and  me  only  brother  steeple-Jack.  Meself  has  worked 
as  riveter  on  sky-scrapers." 

"So  you  have  wielded  a  sledge-hammer!"  I  ex- 
claimed enthusiastically  because  of  his  more  and  more 
marvellous  revelations. 


134  Hero-worship. 

"All  day  long  while  steel-worker's  helper  on  the 
sky-scrapers." 

"O  you  are  such  a  wonderful  young  fellow! 
Wonderful  alone  in  your  being  brave  enough  to  mount 
the  sky-scraper  skeletons!  And  still  more  wonderful 
in  possessing  the  muscle  necessary  for  wielding  a 
sledge-hammer  all  day !  May  I  feel  your  biceps  ?  I  am 
anxious  to  have  my  hands  on  the  very  muscle  that 
slung  the  sledge-hammer !" 

"Anything  at  all !" 

"0  what  a  biceps!  Like  a  tremendous  boil  pro- 
truding out  of  your  arm  except  that  it  is  hard  as  steel. 
Among  the  scores  of  Strong  Hanses  whose  biceps  I 
have  been  privileged  to  pinch,  you  are  the  muscular 
prodigy!1  You  must  be  a  terrible  slugger!  I  pity 
your  opponent!  Only  a  pyramid  of  jelly  after  you 
got  through  with  him!  Do  you  know,  Mr.  Strong 
Hans,  that  I  have  fallen  in  love  with  your  biceps?" 

"That's  a  funny  thin'  ter  fall  in  love  with!  But 
just  feel  me  chest  muscles  and  leg  muscles." 

"They  are  steel !"  I  cried  in  ecstacy.  "Because  of 
your  being  a  muscular  prodigy,  I  am  driven  beside  my- 
self in  hero-worship !  Do  you  know  what  the  word 
'worship'  means?  It  means  that  I  could  prostrate  my- 
self with  lips  to  your  dirty  shoes,  and  cry  out,  over  and 
over  again,  forever,  forever,  your  wonderful  endow- 
ments!     I    could    forever    call    you    Sledge-hammer 

1  In  the  summer  of  1921  I  twice  saw  moving  pictures  of 
Jack  Dempsey  arching  his  naked  biceps.  I  was  thirty  feet 
away  and  his  size  was  magnified  at  least  twice.  I  carefully 
watched  for  comparison  with  Harvey  Green.  The  protuberance 
was  not  equal  to  Harvey's,  who  was  far  from  being  approached 
by  any  of  the  scores  of  sluggers  whose  biceps  I  have  pinched. 
I  can  never  forget  Harvey's  mountains  of  biceps. 


A  Rare  Find.  135 

Wielder!  Personification  of  Strength!  Incarnation 
of  Power!  Man  of  Iron!  Mighty  Man  of 
Valor !  Mighty  Man  of  Renown !  Heaven  wills  that 
I,  a  poor  weakling,  bow  low  in  adoration  of  a  muscular 
prodigy!" 

"You  said  it !  I've  got  the  build  of  a  pugilist.  But 
it's  meself  as  needs  ter  go  ter  the  dentist  ter  git  me 
teeth  filled  and  have  n't  the  price." 

"I'll  attend  to  that.  Because  you  are  a  rare  find, 
Mr.  Strong  Hans!  You  are  one  young  fellow  out  of 
ten  thousand.  I  must  n't  lose  track  of  you.  Let  me 
tell  you  the  plans  that  have  been  going  through  my 
head  since  I  met  you.  Nature  has  made  it  impossible 
for  me  ever  to  marry  a  woman.  For  I  am  myself  real- 
ly a  girl  whom  Nature  has  disguised  as  a  fellow.  I 
only  dress  as  a  fellow  because  the  law  ignorantly  re- 
quires it.  Nature  meant  that  I  should  go  through  life 
with  a  husband — not  a  wife,  as  ignorant  society  com- 
mands. For  some  years  it  has  been  my  dream  to  take 
to  live  under  the  same  roof,  as  long  as  God  leaves  me 
in  this  world,  a  young  fellow  who  approaches  my 
ideal.  And  you  do  as  hardly  another  I  ever  met.  And 
I  want  you  to  live  with  me  as  my  husband.  When  you 
reach  twenty-five,  you  may  also  marry  a  physical 
woman,  and  she  will  keep  house  for  us.  I  shall  always 
regard  your  and  her  children  as  my  own.  God  has 
given  me  much  above  the  average  brain  power,  and  I 
can  earn  money  enough  to  support  all.  You  will  never 
have  a  care.  You  need  never  work  unless  you  want 
to.  For  I  will  be  your  slave.  Because  you  possess  in 
by  far  the  highest  degree  the  bodily  and  mental  en- 
dowment that  are  for  me  a  magnet.    You  will  be  pay- 


136     Full-fledged' s  Instincts  Equally   Unxsthetic. 

ing  for  all  I  do  by  merely  allowing  me  to  gaze  at  your 
marvellous  build  a  few  minutes  every  day. 

"You — like  every  one  else — probably  think  I  am 
a  very  bad  sort  of  person.  But  perhaps  you  will  dis- 
cover some  counterbalancing  good  qualities.  In  reality 
my  bad  side  is  no  worse  than  that  [sexuality]  of  all 
other  men.  The  virile  call  me  'Child  of  the  Devil!' 
The  pot  has  always  liked  to  call  the  kettle  black.  A 
person  always  considers  right  and  highminded  what- 
ever he  himself  is  inclined  to,  and  wrong  and  devilish 
whatever  others  are  inclined  to.  Because  people  are 
thus  in  love  with  themselves  and  their  own  tendencies, 
they  will  not  forgive  my  own  bad  side.  Not  because 
it  is  in  any  way  harmful;  merely  because  it  is  so  ex- 
ceptional. 

"I  have  the  means  to  support  you  from  this  even- 
ing on.1  I  guarantee  you  as  good  a  start  in  life  as 
young  fellow  ever  had.  Wouldn't  you  like  to  become 
a  lawyer  or  physician?  Then  why  not  tell  me  your 
true  name  and  address,  lest  I  lose  you?  Because  until 
I  know  you  thoroughly,  I  can  not  reveal  my  own  legal 
name  and  where  I  live.  Because  people  misunderstand 
so  terribly  women-men  like  myself." 

"Harvey  Green,  Eagle  Hotel,  Third  Avenue." 

"I  detest  'Harvey'  because  two  acquaintances  of 
that  name  were  such  poor  specimens  of  men.  Since 
you  are  to  be  my  own  personal  sledge-hammer-slinger, 
I  change  your  name  to  'Tom.'  That  is  the  most  mascu- 
line of  names,  and  because  you  are  the  most  masculine 
of  young  fellows — indeed  the  Supreme  Man — you  must 

1  I  had  graduated  more  than  a  year  before  and  was  earning 
a  good  salary  during  this  summer  vacation  between  my  first 
and  second  post-graduate  years. 


Common  Type  of  Sexual  Insanity.  137 

be  decorated  with  it.  For  you  appear  to  be  even  more 
than  man.  A  wonderful  visitant  from  some  other 
world.    A  super-man ! 

"I  am  afraid,  Tom,  you  may  be  only  a  dream.  I 
am  afraid  you  may  be  only  an  apparition  with  me  a 
brief  hour,  then  to  return,  like  Lohengrin,  to  the 
heavenly  realm  where  the  hero  is  immeasurably  be- 
yond anything  we  have  on  earth. 

"So  from  to-night  on,  your  legal  first  name  is 
Tom.'  And  after  I  have  tried  you  out,  you  will  take 
my  own  legal  surname.  But  my  pet  name  is  'Prince 
Wonderful!'  Can  you  feel,  Prince  Wonderful,  that 
you  charm  me  as  a  serpent  a  bird  that  it  creeps  upon 
in  order  to  swallow?  I  know  I  am  doing  something 
crazy  in  letting  you  swallow  me;  in  turning  my  back 
on  all  my  own  pleasures  and  prospects  in  order  that 
you  may  get  more  out  of  life.  For  I  would  rather  be 
the  instrument  through  which  a  demigod  like  yourself 
enjoys  some  good  before  my  eyes  than  myself  to  enjoy 
it.  It  is  crazy  of  me ;  but  my  instincts  lead  that  way, 
and  I  have  the  will  to  act  that  way.  Muscular  prodigy  I 
Sky-scraper  dare-devil!  Your  prodigious  strength 
and  muscles  cement  me  to  you  as  with  hoops  of  steel !" 

We  soon  took  a  stroll  of  half-a-mile  to  the  East 
River,  to  a  neighborhood  of  gas-houses,  closed  factor- 
ies, and  storeyards.  No  one  ventured  here  after  dark 
except  homeless  gutter-snipes  in  summer  to  sleep.  I 
myself  would  not  have  ventured  at  night  anywhere 
near  these  dingy  and  desolate  blocks  except  under  the 
protection  of  a  Strong  Hans. 

On  female-impersonation  sprees  in  the  Rialto  and 
Stuyvesant  Square,  I  was  always  richly  clad  and  wore 
jewelry.     While  during  my  year's  female-impersona- 


138  The  Ultra-Unexpected  Happens. 

tion  apprenticeship  on  Mulberry  Street  my  pockets 
were  rifled  every  night,  I  had  not  now  for  nearly  a 
year  suffered  the  theft  of  even  a  copper.  And  why 
should  I  entertain  even  the  shadow  of  a  suspicion  of 
"Tom"  whom  I  wholeheartedly  accepted  as  an  un- 
sophisticated youth  recently  from  the  Mohawk  valley 
and  to  whom  I  had  pledged  the  usufruct  of  my  fairly 
good  earning  capacity  to  enable  him  to  live  like  a 
nabob?  For  more  than  an  hour,  on  the  park  bench,  he 
had  demonstrated  himself  supergenial.  He  had 
seemed  so  glad  and  so  grateful  over  what  I  had  prom- 
ised :  To  lift  him  from  the  slums  to  an  honored  pro- 
fessional career.  The  story  of  his  life  did  contain 
some  inconsistencies  but  I  realized  it  only  too  late. 

As  soon  as  we  arrived  in  an  unlighted  stone-yard 
and  there  was  not  another  soul  within  hearing — at 
least  we  had  seen  no  one  for  the  last  five  hundred  feet 
— Harvey  Green  suddenly  changed  to  just  the  opposite 
of  his  supergenial  and  ultra-grateful  mask.  Only  at 
the  moment  that  he  had  me  completely  at  his  mercy 
did  he  disclose  himself  as  a  dyed-in-the-wool  criminal 
— a  fiend  who  would  never  give  a  second  thought  to 
having  just  committed  a  murder. 

Since  I  had  expected  to  take  him  under  my  own 
roof  and  acquaint  him  with  my  every-day  professional 
personality,  I  had  not  gone  to  the  extremes  of  frivolous 
female-impersonation  customary  before  young  bloods 
who  would  never  meet  me  in  every-day  life.  I  had 
feared  I  would  forfeit  his  respect.  Thus  I  had  bidden 
him  call  me  "Ralph" — not  "Jennie." 

"Ralph,  what  a  ya  think  when  I  say  I've  served 
time  in  Elmira  Reformatory?  I  kin  prove  what  kinder 
man  I  am !    Reach  your  hand  here  and  feel  this  terrible 


A  Seance  with  a  Burglar.  139 

scar.  And  then  reach  it  here  and  feel  this  other. 
Ralph,  I  got  these  scars  from  bein'  shot  while  runnin' 
away  after  havin'  made  a  mess  of  burglin'  houses  in 
villages.  For  it's  better  ter  be  shot  than  caught.  And 
I  did  n't  dare  go  ter  any  doctor.  My  pal  dressed  the 
wounds  the  best  he  could,  and  it  hurt  awful — I  tell 
you !  And  both  times  the  buggers  bled  and  bled  till 
I  close  ter  croaked.  But  luck  was  with  me;  me  guts 
escaped  the  pepperin'.  And  after  I  recovered  from 
loss  of  blood  and  after  the  wounds  began  ter  heal,  I 
was  as  strong  and  husky  as  you  see  me  to-night. 

"But  just  to-night  I  happened  ter  be  broke.  I  was 
just  loafin'  in  the  park  waitin'  for  a  sissie  like  you, 
Ralph,  ter  walk  inter  me  trap,  so  I  could  git  hold  of 
some  dough." 

"Harvey,"  I  could  only  stammer,  being  next  to 
speechless  because  of  surprise  and  terror,  "I  am 
stunned  at  what  you  say.  I  never  believed  you  could 
so  deceive  me.  Can  I  say  nothing  to  bring  you  to 
your  senses?  Don't  you  realize  you  have  ten  thousand 
times  more  to  gain  by  being  my  friend?" 

"Ralph,  did  n't  yez  ever  hear  a  bird  in  hand's 
worth  two  in  bush?  Besides  I  could  never  be  friend 
ter  feller  of  your  nature,  Ralph!  My  hand's  agin' 
you,  Ralph!  Because  I've  a  criminal  record,  Ralph, 
every  man's  hand's  agin'  me.  And  my  hand's  agin' 
every  man.  I'm  a  man  without  any  heart.  I'd  as  soon 
put  a  bullet  through  a  bloke  as  look  at  him. 

"No,  Ralph,  the  burglar's  life  I've  chosen  kin  alone 
afford  the  excitement  I  need.  Up  me  sleeve,  I  did  n't 
take  the  least  stock  in  all  your  soft  soap  as  we  sat  in 
the  park.  Your  pet  names  and  promises  mean  nothin' 
ter  me  at  all !    You  sure  must  take  me  for  a  softy  in 


140 


Method  of  Robbery. 


me  promisin'  ter  live  with  a  feller  like  yourself! 
You're  now  goin'  ter  have  a  taste  of  what  use  I  have 
for  that  kind  of  feller !  Hand  out  your  money !  Hand 
out  your  money!" 

As  he  spoke,  he  clutched  a  shoulder  with  one  hand 
and  clenched  the  other  in  my  face.  I  handed  over  my 
wallet. 

"Here!  I'll  relieve  yez  of  that  watch  and  chain. 
....  And  off  with  that  ring ! .  .  .  .  Now  take  off  every 
stitch  so  I  kin  see  if  you've  any  concealed  bills." 

"You're  welcome  to  all  I  have  on  me,  Harvey,  and 
I  love  you  too  much  to  prosecute.  Only  please,  please, 
let  me  depart  unharmed!  I  forgive  everything!  If 
only  you  will  let  me  depart  unharmed,  I  will  immedi- 


Neighborhood    Where    Harvey    Green    Thought    He 
"Finished"  Jennie  June 


Author  Robbed  Two  Hundred  Times.  141 

ately  take  you  around  to  my  room  and  put  into  your 
hand  a  hundred  dollars  I  have  locked  in  my  desk." 

"I  could  n't  do  that.    It'd  be  too  risky." 

While  we  argued,  I  undressed  meekly  and  in  un- 
speakable terror.  I  realized  I  might  be  experiencing 
my  last  five  minutes  of  life.  I  took  as  much  time  as 
possible  in  the  hope  that  a  watchman  might  chance 
along.  But  why  a  watchman  in  a  store-yard  of  paving 
stones? 

"I  guess  now  I've  got  everythin'  of  value,  though 
not  as  much  as  expected.  You  sneak,  why  did  n't  yez 
have  more  bills  onter  your  carcass?" 

On  female-impersonation  sprees  in  Stuyvesant 
Square,  I  carried  less  than  ten  dollars.  But  judging 
from  my  rich  attire  and  not  knowing  I  had  set  out 
from  home  just  for  such  a  spree,  Harvey  must  doubt- 
less have  thought  I  had  on  me  a  big  roll.  The  present 
is  only  one  of  the  most  remarkable  of  about  two  hun- 
dred adventures  I  have  had  with  robbers,  the  thievishly 
inclined  regularly  preying  on  androgynes  because 
knowing  the  latter  are  themselves  outlaws  and  thus 
unable  to  complain  to  the  police. 

Incensed  over  the  disappointing  size  of  his  haul, 
Harvey  continued :  "And  now,  you  sneak,  I've  got  yez 
at  me  mercy!  There's  not  a  man  within  hearin' !  Shut 
your  d —  throat,  or  you'll  be  worse  off  yet !  Hold  down 
your  hands  from  in  front  of  your  mug!  Hold  down 
your  hands !  You  bastard !  You  cannibal !  Your 
nature's  so  disgustin'  that  every  rightminded  man 
would  agree  your  face  oughter  be  used  as  a  butcher's 
choppin'  block !  And  it's  me  own  great  joy  ter  do  the 
job!" 

Only  about  so  much  of  the  fiend's  ranting  was  I 


142  Experiencing  Death. 

able  to  catch.  After  I  had  received  several  sledge- 
hammer blows  in  the  face,  fallen  to  the  ground,  been 
kicked  and  stamped  upon,  I  entirely  lost  consciousness. 
Even  while  I  still  heard  his  ranting,  I  hardly  noticed 
any  pain.  I  merely  thought  I  was  dying.  I  was  fully 
reconciled,  and  prayed:  "Father,  into  Thy  hands  I 
commend  my  spirit !" 

The  next  thing  of  which  I  was  conscious  was  vio- 
lent retching — due  to  internal  injuries.  In  his  youth- 
ful verdancy,  the  fiend  had  probably  thought  he  had 
finished  me.  But  Providence  overruled,  as  in  a  number 
of  subsequent  similar  assaults  when  I  was  snatched 
from  the  very  jaws  of  death,  whereas  every  few 
months  I  see  in  the  papers  that  some  less  fortunate 
androgyne  has  not  lived  to  tell  the  tale. 

I  was  at  first  puzzled  as  to  whether  I  was  waking 
up  on  the  earthly  plane  or  in  another  world.  Until 
I  fully  recovered  my  senses,  I  lay  inert.  Then  I  slowly 
dressed  and  limped  away,  having  to  rest  on  the  curb 
every  five  hundred  feet.  I  searched  out  a  street  foun- 
tain to  bathe  my  bloodstained  face  and  try  to  counter- 
act the  swelling  and  discoloration.  For,  most  of  all, 
I  feared  arousing  the  suspicions  of  my  every-day  circle. 

I  then  boarded  a  car  for  home,  begging  my  fare. 
In  its  regular  hiding  place  in  a  stone  wall  of  a  neigh- 
boring park,  I  obtained  the  key  to  the  street  door  of 
my  boarding  house.1  Fortunately  without  encounter- 
ing anybody,  I  mounted  the  several  flights  of  stairs 
and  secured  my  room-key  from  its  hiding  place.     On 

1  On  one  spree,  when  I  left  the  key  in  my  pocket,  it  had 
been  stolen  out  of  meanness,  necessitating  the  embarrassment, 
and  risk  of  suspicion,  of  having  to  ring  at  midnight  for 
admission. 


Struggling  to  Save  Reason.  143 

arrival  in  my  own  snug  harbor,  the  first  thing  I  did — 
as  always — was  to  fall  to  my  knees  and  bless  Provi- 
dence for  permitting  me  to  see  home  again. 

For  several  hours,  I  could  not  sleep.  Every  mo- 
ment I  felt  as  if  I  would  lapse  into  insane  raving. 
Every  moment  I  besought  God  to  show  mercy  on  a 
persecuted  outcast.  I  reflected  on  my  lot :  To  go 
through  life  as  a  cordially  hated  bisexual.  That  was 
my  cross,  and  I  repeated  over  and  over  again — in  my 
struggle  to  save  myself  from  insanity — the  identic 
prayer  that  I  had  at  fifteen  repeated  over  and  over 
again  on  the  night  I  had  consecrated  myself,  and  been 
consecrated  by  the  brethren  of  the  puritan  church  to 
which  I  then  belonged,  to  be  a  preacher  of  the  Gospel : 

"Jesus,  I  my  cross  have  taken, 

All  to  leave  and  follow  Thee ; 
Naked,  poor,  despised,  forsaken, 

Thou  from  hence  my  all  shalt  be: 
Perish  every  fond  ambition, 

All  I've  sought  and  hoped  and  known ; 
Yet  how  rich  is  my  condition, 

God  and  heaven  are  still  my  own !" 

Immediately  following  later  similar  assaults,  I 
have  had  to  have  my  wounds  dressed  by  a  physician 
before  seeking  my  room,  and  on  one  occasion  had  to 
enter  a  hospital.  But  on  this  occasion  I  waited  until 
the  following  morning  to  summon  my  physician.  He 
made  one  significant  remark:  "It  would  be  worse 
than  useless  for  you  to  try  to  prosecute  your  assailant. 
The  court  would  immediately  turn  around  and  prose- 
cute you  as  a  felon !" 

For  two  weeks  I  had  to  keep  to  my  room.    Never 


144  My  Visage  the  Most  Marred. 

in  all  my  life  have  I  seen  such  a  swollen  and  discolored 
face;  with  one  exception,  and  that  exception  died  a 
few  days  later  as  a  result  of  his  terrible  blows  in  the 
face.  I  told  my  landlady  I  had  been  in  a  fight  defend- 
ing a  woman  from  her  drunken  husband.  I  telephoned 
my  office  that  I  was  slightly  indisposed.  Thus  empha- 
sized so  no  business  associate  would  call.1 

After  two  weeks,  when  my  face  had  become 
somewhat  presentable,  I  ventured  to  the  office  still 
retaining  only  a  black  eye.  "In  my  room  in  the  dark, 
I  struck  the  edge  of  the  eye-socket  on  a  chair  spindle." 
I  doubt  whether  all  believed  me,  but  none  proved  so 
impolite  as  to  ask  embarrassing  questions.2 
********  *  * 

But  Harvey  Green!  I  here  address  you  in  case 
your  eyes  should  ever  fall  on  these  lines.  I  shall  re- 
member you  to  my  dying  day  as  occupying  third  or 
fourth  place  among  the  hundreds  of  hero-boys  with 
whom  Providence  permitted  me  to  commune.     I  never 

1  In  a  later  catastrophe,  one  did  call.  I  was  compelled  to 
tell  the  truth,  but  he  proved  sympathetic  and  respected  my 
confidences.  He  subsequently  asked  his  physician  about  homo- 
sexuality and  was  informed  it  was  deepest  moral  depravity 
and  merited  no  sympathy.  He  himself  happened  to  be  one  of 
the  most  broadminded  of  men.  He  remarked  that  physicians 
as  a  class  are  narrow-minded  since  most  have  not  taken  a 
liberal-arts  course. 

2  In  a  later  scrape,  after  being  laid  up  for  a  week,  I  ven- 
tured to  my  large  publishing  office  with  practically  no  skin  on 
my  nose,  that  member  having  a  week  before  been  badly 
smashed.  My  physician  had  furnished  me  with  the  explanation 
that  he  had  applied  a  mustard  plaster  for  a  cold  and  the  nose 
resulted!  But  the  better  joke  was  that  simultaneously  another 
university-trained  androgyne  working  in  the  same  room  was 
limping  around  with  a  crutch.  He  said  he  had  been  thrown  off 
a  horse,  but  I  never  doubted  he  had  been  crippled  by  some 
sexually  full-fledged  brute  as  a  punishment  for  his  androgynism. 


Apostrophe  to  the  Supreme  Man.  145 

met  your  equal  in  strength  and  muscle.  Whenever  I 
think  of  you,  the  words,  Supreme  Man,  come  into  my 
mind.  If  I  ever  run  across  and  recognize  you  after 
the  lapse  of  more  than  a  quarter  of  a  century,  I  shall 
merely  step  up  behind — where  your  eyes  can  not  recog- 
nize me — and  call:  "Supreme  Man!"  "Supreme 
Man!"  Then,  without  yet  seeing  me,  you  will 
recognize  "Ralph"  to  be  behind  you ;  because  no  one 
else  has  probably  thought  to  call  you  "Supreme  Man" ; 
because  no  one  else  could  ever  have  worshipped  you 
as  I! 

Poor  deluded  youth  that  you  were  in  1895!  I 
almost  weep  whenever  I  reflect  what  you  have  missed 
in  life  through  your  poor  judgment  in  robbing,  and 
even  aiming  to  murder,  your  would-be  benefactor.  For 
a  few  dollars  worth  of  trinkets  and  for  the  satisfac- 
tion of  torturing  effeminacy,  you  turned  your  back  on 
benefits  to  which  could  be  attributed  a  money  value  of 
at  least  ten  thousand  dollars.  But  I  freely  forgive. 
Like  the  soldiers  who  crucified  the  world's  Savior,  you 
did  not  know  what  you  were  doing. 


146  The  Fairie  Boy. 


V.     Evenings  at  Paresis  Hall. 

During  the  last  decade  of  the  nineteenth  century, 
the  headquarters  for  avocational  female-impersonators 
of  the  upper  and  middle  classes  was  "Paresis  Hall," 
on  Fourth  Avenue  several  blocks  south  of  Fourteenth 
Street.  In  front  was  a  modest  bar-room;  behind,  a 
small  beer-garden.  The  two  floors  above  were  divided 
into  small  rooms  for  rent.  In  1921  I  visited  the  site, 
as  well  as  that  of  the  "Hotel"  Comfort  (the  two  Rialto 
resorts  with  which  I  was  most  intimately  identified) 
in  order  to  take  photographs  for  publication  in  this 
book,  but  found  both  structures  supplanted. 

Paresis  Hall  bore  almost  the  worst  reputation  of 
any  resort  of  New  York's  Underworld.  Preachers  in 
New  York  pulpits  of  the  decade  would  thunder  Philip- 
pics against  the  "Hall,"  referring  to  it  in  bated  breath 
as  "Sodom !"  They  were  laboring  under  a  fundamen- 
tal misapprehension.  But  even  while  I  was  an  habitue, 
the  church  and  the  press  carried  on  such  a  war  against 
the  resort  that  the  "not-care-a-damn"  politicians  who 
ruled  little  old  New  York  had  finally  to  stage  a  spectac- 
ular raid.  After  this,  the  resort,  though  continuing 
in  business  (because  of  political  influence),  turned  the 
cold  shoulder  on  androgynes  and  tolerated  the  presence 
of  none  in  feminine  garb. 

But  there  existed  little  justification  for  the 
police's  "jumping  on"  the  "Hall"  as  a  sop  to  puritan 
sentiment.  Culturally  and  ethically,  its  distinctive 
clientele  ranked  high.     Their  only  offence — but  such 


Is  Bisexuality  the  Worst  of  Crimes?  147 

a  grave  one  as  to  cause  sexually  full-fledged  Pharisees 
to  lift  up  their  own  rotten  hands  in  holy  horror — was, 
as  indicated,  female-impersonation  during  their  even- 
ings at  the  resort.  A  psychological  and  not  an  ethical 
phenomenon !  For  ethically  the  "Hall's"  distinctive 
clientele  were  congenital  goody-goodies,  incapable  (by 
disposition)  of  ever  inflicting  the  least  detriment  on  a 
single  soul.  They  were  of  the  type  in  the  United 
States,  by  every-day  associates  totally  ignorant  of  the 
secret  sexual  practices  of  Nature's  step-children,  de- 
nominated "innocents ;"  and  in  France,  "little  Jesuses" 
even  though  in  that  country  their  sexual  character  is 
an  open  book,  since  there  the  sexual  appetite  is  re- 
garded as  no  more  shameworthy  than  the  alimentary. 
But  the  "Hall's"  distinctive  clientele  were  bitterly 
hated,  and  finally  scattered  by  the  police,  merely  be- 
cause of  their  congenital  bisexuality.  The  sexually 
full-fledged  were  crying  for  blood  (of  innocents),  as 
did  the  "unco'  good"  in  the  days  of  witch-burning. 
Bisexuals  must  be  crushed — right  or  wrong !  The  sub- 
ject does  not  permit  investigation !  The  fact  that  it 
is  race  suicide  justifies  the  denial  of  all  mercy!  Let 
Juggernaut's  car  crush  out  their  lives! 

It  was  Nathan's  parable  of  the  ewe  lamb  all  over 
again.  (Second  Book  of  Samuel,  chapter  12.)  The 
full-fledged  had  innumerable  opportunities  for  the  sat- 
isfaction of  their  instincts.  Androgynes  had  only  "the 
Hall"  with  the  exception  of  three  or  four  slum  resorts 
frequented  by  only  the  lowest  class  of  bisexuals  who 
had  never  known  anything  better  than  slum  life. 

Why  deprive  cultured  androgynes  of  their  solitary 
rendezvous  in  the  New  York  metropolitan  district  and 


148     Homosexuals  No  Worse  Than  Heterosexuals. 

give  carte  blanche  to  the  thousands  of  similar  hetero- 
sexual resorts? 

Paresis  Hall  was  as  innocuous  as  any  sex  resort. 
Its  existence  really  brought  not  the  least  detriment  to 
any  one  or  to  the  social  body  as  a  whole.  More  than 
that  :  It  was  a  necessary  safety-valve  to  the  social 
body.  It  is  not  in  the  power  of  every  adult  to  settle 
down  for  life  in  the  monogamous  and  monandrous 
love-nest  ordained  for  all  by  our  leaders  of  thought. 
For  example :  The  existence  of  Paresis  Hall  was  due 
chiefly  to  the  fact  that  in  about  one  out  of  every  one- 
hundred-and-fifty  presumed  males,  the  internal  testic- 
ular secretion  has  failed  to  be  of  the  right  consistency. 

While  in  this  book  I  use  the  resort's  popular  name, 
androgyne  habitues  always  abhorred  it,  saying  simply 
"the  Hall."  The  full  nickname  arose  in  part  because 
the  numerous  full-fledged  male  visitors — it  was  one  of 
the  "sights"  for  out-of-towners  who  hired  a  guide  to 
take  them  through  New  York's  Underworld— thought 
the  bisexuals,  who  were  its  main  feature,  must  be  in- 
sane in  stooping  to  female-impersonation.  They  un- 
derstood "paresis"  to  be  the  general  medical  term  for 
"insanity."  The  name  also  in  part  arose  because  in 
those  days  even  the  medical  profession  were  obsessed 
with  the  superstition  that  a  virile  man's  association 
with  an  androgyne  induced  paresis  in  the  former,  it 
not  yet  having  been  discovered  that  this  type  of  in- 
sanity is  a  rare  aftermath  of  syphilis. 

By  means  of  an  introduction  of  the  reader  to  sev- 
eral androgyne  patrons  of  Paresis  Hall,  I  aim  to  dem- 
onstrate that  instinctive  female-impersonation  has  no 
relation  to  brain  lesions,  dementia  praecox,  or  other 
psychic   disease.     The  prevalent  diagnosis,  by  phy- 


Cause  of  Androgynism.  149 

sicians,  of  androgynism  as  insanity  is  as  rational  as 
for  a  male  alienist  to  pronounce  all  women  insane  be- 
cause their  psyche  differs  radically  from  his  own.  As 
already  stated,  androgynism  is  a  mere  matter  of  ar- 
rested development,  due  to  imperfect  internal  testicu- 
lar secretion,  in  the  natural  sex  differentiation  that 
begins  in  the  early  foetus  and  ends  at  puberty.  This 
arrest  has  for  its  result  an  adult  homo  more  or  less 
bisexual — a  sexual  intermediate,  whose  existence  the 
bigotry  of  the  leaders  of  thought  has  hitherto  prevent- 
ed their  recognizing. 

At  the  university,  the  student  is  taught  all  about 
the  anatomy  of  the  frog,  but  the  prevalent  view  among 
the  leaders  of  thought  that  everything  connected  with 
sex  is  taboo  has  prevented  even  the  professors  of  phy- 
siology from  investigating  androgynism,  which  touch- 
es the  social  body  so  intimately.  They  have  turned 
their  backs  because  "the  subject  leaves  a  bad  taste  in 
the  mouth !" 

You  milk-and-water  hypocrites!  Is  it  nothing  to 
you  that  innocent  androgynes  are  pining  in  prison  an 
aggregate  of  thousands  of  years,  and  being  continually 
murdered  by  prudes,  like  Harvey  Green,  because  you 
have  taught  them  that  no  punishment  is  too  bad  for 
so-called  "homosexuality"?  For  prudery  is  common 
to  some  ultra-criminals  and  to  the  leaders  of  thought.1 
In  the  sight  of  God,  you  latter,  when  deliberately  re- 
fusing to  hearken  to  the  wailing  of  bitterly  persecuted 

1  Prudery  is  one  of  the  foremost  earmarks  oi  anaphrodites 
and  the  mildly  virile,  to  which  classes  nearly  all  the  leaders  of 
thought  belong.  The  trait  is  completely  absent  from  the  more 
virile,  as  well  as  androgynes.  Some  of  the  more  virile,  as 
Harvey  Green,  are  prudes  only  as  to  homosexuality  because 
taught  that  fellators  ought  to  be  killed. 


150  Leaders  of  Thought  Are  Murderers. 

androgynes,  are  morally  on  a  par  with  Harvey  Green 
and  the  murderers  of  X,  Y,  and  "Jimmie  Q",  the  latter 
being  three  bisexuals  whose  cases  are  outlined  at  the 
close  of  this  volume. 

Paresis  Hall  was  never  my  own  headquarters.  I 
visited  it  only  now  and  then.  I  had  too  early  become 
wedded  to  the  "Hotel"  Comfort.  Moreover,  I  wandered 
more  widely,  and  in  some  respects  flaunted  my  andro- 
gynism  to  a  greater  extent,  than  any  other  female- 
impersonator  of  my  day.  I  took  greater  chances  than 
any  other,  except  in  the  appearing  in  public  places  in 
feminine  apparel,  but  was  never  arrested  in  the  Rialto 
because  always  careful  never  to  render  myself  liable. 
Never  for  a  moment  did  I  forget  the  possibility  of 
being  arrested.  I  was  even  hypersensitive  in  this  mat- 
ter. A  common  dream  was  that  of  being  arrested. 
But  this  hypersensitiveness  probably  saved  me,  since 
others  of  my  type  were  continuously  being  arrested 
and  sent  to  the  penitentiary.  But  the  cultured  andro- 
gyne is  almost  never  caught  by  the  police.  Only  those 
of  poor  mentality. 

On  one  of  my  earliest  visits  to  Paresis  Hall — about 
January,  1895 — I  seated  myself  alone  at  one  of 
the  tables.  I  had  only  recently  learned  that  it  was  the 
androgyne  headquarters — or  "fairie"  as  it  was  called 
at  the  time.  Since  Nature  had  consigned  me  to  that 
class,  I  was  anxious  to  meet  as  many  examples  as  pos- 
sible. As  I  took  my  seat,  I  did  not  recognize  a  single 
acquaintance  among  the  several  score  young  bloods, 
soubrettes,  and  androgynes  chatting  and  drinking  in 
the  beer-garden. 

In  a  few  minutes,  three  short,  smooth-faced  young 
men  approached  and  introduced  themselves  as  Roland 


Earmarks  of  Androgynism.  151 

Reeves,  Manon  Lescaut,  and  Prince  Pansy — aliases, 
because  few  refined  androgynes  would  be  so  rash  as 
to  betray  their  legal  name  in  the  Underworld.  Not 
alone  from  their  names,  but  also  from  their  loud  ap- 
parel, the  timbre  of  their  voices,  their  frail  physique, 
and  their  feminesque  mannerisms,  I  discerned  they 
were  androgynes.  Indeed  effeminacy  stuck  out  all 
over  Prince  Pansy.  Manon  Lescaut's  only  conspicu- 
ous anatomical  feminesqueness  was  extraordinary 
breadth  of  hips.  While  Reeves'  trunk  and  legs  were 
not  so  feminine,  he  excelled  in  womanly  features,  with 
such  marine-blue  eyes  and  pink-peony  cheeks  as  any 
beholder  regretted  should  be  wasted  on  a  member  (?) 
of  the  sterner  sex.  Moreover,  Reeves  alone,  of  the  two 
score  ultra-androgynes  that  I  at  different  times  met 
at  Paresis  Hall,  was  naturally  beardless. 

While  Roland,  Manon,  and  the  "Prince"  looked 
to  be  between  twenty  and  twenty-five,  I  later  ascer- 
tained the  first  mentioned  was  thirty-seven.  As  al- 
ready observed,  perennial  youth  is  an  earmark  of 
ultra-androgynism. 

Roland  was  chief  speaker.  The  essence  of  his 
remarks  was  something  like  the  following:  "Mr. 
Werther — or  Jennie  June,  as  doubtless  you  prefer  to 
be  addressed — I  have  seen  you  at  the  Hotel  Comfort, 
but  you  were  always  engaged.  A  score  of  us  have 
formed  a  little  club,  the  Cercle  Hermaphroditos. 
For  we  need  to  unite  for  defense  against  the  world's 
bitter  persecution  of  bisexuals.  We  care  to  admit  only 
extreme  types — such  as  like  to  doll  themselves  up  in 
feminine  finery.  We  sympathize  with,  but  do  not  care 
to  be  intimate  with,  the  mild  types,  some  of  whom  you 


152  The  Cercle  Hermaphroditos. 

see  here  to-night  even  wearing  a  disgusting  beard! 
Of  course  they  do  not  wear  it  out  of  liking.  They 
merely  consider  it  a  lesser  evil  than  the  horrible  razor 
or  excruciating  wax-mask. 

"We  ourselves  are  in  the  detested  trousers  because 
having  only  just  arrived.  We  keep  our  feminine  ward- 
robe in  lockers  upstairs  so  that  our  every-day  circles 
can  not  suspect  us  of  female-impersonation.  For  they 
have  such  an  irrational  horror  of  it !" 


On  the  basis  of  different  visits  to  an  upper  room 
permanently  rented  by  the  Cercle  Hermaphroditos,  I 
am  going  to  build  up  a  typical  hour's  conversation  in 
order  to  disclose  into  what  channels  the  thoughts  of 
ultra-androgynes  run  when  half-a-score  find  them- 
selves together.  The  reason  for  its  unnatural  ring  is 
that  I  omit  the  nine-tenths  that  were  prattle,  retaining 
only  the  cream  that  I  consider  of  scientific  value. 

It  was  about  eight  o'clock  on  an  evening  of  April, 
1895.  Some  of  the  hermaphroditoi  were  still  in  male 
apparel ;  some  changing  to  feminine  evening  dress  and 
busy  with  padding  and  the  powder-puff ;  some  in  their 
completed  evening  toilette  ready  to  descend  to  the 
beer-garden  below  to  await  a  young-blood  friend. 

I  do  not  recall  that  a  single  hermaphroditos  was 
man  enough  to  use  tobacco,  or  even  to  spit.  They  af- 
fected foreign  languages,  particularly  French.  I  re- 
call one  whose  favorite  method  in  beginning  a  conver- 
sation was :  "Mes  cheris,qu'  est  ce  que  c'  est  que  vous 
savez  de  nouvelles?" 

A  second:  "Have  you  observed  the  new  styles? 


Androgyne  Talk.  153 

Very  narrow  skirts,1  and  very  large  hats.      The  ma- 
terial saved  on  the  skirt  goes  into  the  chapeau." 

"Nothing  could  be  more  beautiful,"  Angelo-Phyl- 
lis,  the  most  effeminate  of  the  hermaphroditoi,  opined 
softly  and  sweetly,  "than  a  feminine  face  framed  in 
a  picture  hat  set  sidewise,  with  rim  reaching  below  the 
shoulders.  How  I  do  like  to  stalk  Fourteenth  Street 
myself  with  such  a  chapeau  !2  How  the  young  fellows 
stare  and  throw  remarks  after  me!  I  am  glad  the 
petite  turbans  are  going  into  the  rag-bag.  And  what 
low  necks  and  short  arms  the  new  evening  dresses  are 
showing !  And  the  material  hardly  more  than  cobweb ! 
One  could  almost  hide  an  up-to-date  corsage  in  the 
fist." 

"You  seem,  Phyllis,  to  be  an  expert  on  lingerie." 
"My  woman  friends  tell  me  I  have  the  best  eye  for 
color  effects  they  ever  heard  of.  Millinery  happens  to 
be  my  business.  A  star  actress  whom  I  happen  to 
know  always  asks  me  to  accompany  her  to  the  mod- 
iste's. I  must  practically  pick  out  all  her  robes,  as 
well  as  hats — including  the  way  they  are  to  be  made 
up.  Just  the  sight  of  the  artistic  fabrics,  as  they  are 
unrolled  by  the  saleswoman,  is  an  exquisite  delight. 
My  mind  becomes  crowded  with  emotions,  and  on  the 
spur  of  the  moment  I  could  pen  a  lyric  sur  les  etoffes 
jolies  that  any  ladies'  magazine  would  publish ....  The 

1  In  the  last  decade  of  the  nineteenth  century  also,  there 
existed  a  feminine  craze  for  skirts  as  narrow  as  a  pant-leg. 
"Merry  Widow"  hats  also  had  their  day  then.  But  in  1921  for 
the  first  time  in  Christendom,  respectable  women  have  been 
crazy  to  display  their  bare  breasts,  bare  arms,  and  next-to-nude 
legs  in  the  crowded  streets.  Respectable  women  have  to-day 
adopted  for  street  wear  the  garb,  for  exclusive  brothel  wear, 
of  filles  de  joie  of  a  quarter  of  a  century  ago. 

2  See  "French  Doll  Baby"  in  Part  VIII. 


154  A  Gynander's  Fate. 

stupidity  of  some  women!  This  actress  has  just  di- 
vorced her  husband  and  is  looking  around  for  a  new 
alliance.  If  I  happened  to  have  been  born  a  marrying 
man,  I  could  make  her  my  wife,  although  all  the  front- 
row  bald-pates  are  crazy  after  her.  She  has  given 
every  hint — everything  except  an  actual  proposal. 
But  if  I  did  let  her  marry  me,  the  morning  following 
the  bridal  night,  she  would  apply  to  the  court  for  an 
annulment.  She  does  not  even  suspect  the  existence  of 
pseudo-men." 

Another :  "It  is  strange  how  often  a  girl  falls  in 
love  with  us  women-men.  I  myself  have  had  three 
proposals.  Girls  are  particularly  prone  to  fall  in  love 
with  members  of  their  own  sex  disguised  as  men.  Of 
course  we  are  really  only  girls  ourselves  whom  Nature 
has  disguised  as  men.     Particularly,  rather  mannish 

women  fall  in  love  with  us  Mollie  Coddles." 

*         *        *  *         *  *         *  *  *         * 

Phyllis:  "That  reminds  me  of  a  young  heiress1 
whom  I  knew.  Perhaps  you  read  in  the  papers  two 
years  ago  how  a  New  York  young  woman  disappeared, 
and  the  utmost  efforts  of  the  police  were  not  rewarded 
with  the  least  trace.  She  was  of  that  mannish  type. 
For  months  she  was  the  pest  of  my  life.  I  still  have 
a  big  pack  of  letters  and  poems — all  sickening — which 
she  mailed  me. 

"I  myself  have  no  doubt  of  the  fate  of  the  poor 
girl.  When  the  papers  were  full  of  rumors  and  hy- 
potheses about  her,  I  repeatedly  wrote  my  theory  to 
her  father.     When  he  ignored  my  letters,  I  gave  the 

1  This  anecdote  deals  with  only  one  of  a  number  of  similar 
occurrences  in  New  York.  Gynanders,  as  well  as  androgynes, 
are  doomed  to  suffer  murder  at  the  hands  of  hare-brained 
prudes  because  of  the  false  teaching  of  the  leaders  of  thought. 


Gynanders  Love  Androgynes.  155 

police  my  theory.  They  likewise  thought  it  absurd 
and  refused  to  investigate  along  the  lines  I  suggested. 

"When  some  mannish  women  find  it  impossible 
to  marry  an  effeminate  man,  they  adopt  some  petite 
cry-baby  woman  as  their  soul-mate.  The  papers  sta- 
ted that  the  last  trace  of  Mollie  Dale  was  her  carrying 
away  from  O'Neil's  several  purchases.  The  latter 
immediately  struck  me  as  such  alone  as  a  gallant  would 
buy  to  present  his  lady-love.  When  I  told  the  police, 
they  said:  'Absurd!  Who  ever  heard  of  one  woman 
being  in  love  with  another!' 

"On  leaving  O'Neil's,  Mollie  Dale  absolutely  drop- 
ped out  of  sight  for  all  time.  It  was  as  if  the  earth 
had  suddenly  yawned  for  her  body  and  closed  again  so 
rapidly  as  to  be  unseen  by  the  people  nearby.  Or  as 
if  she,  absent-minded,  had  stepped  into  an  open  sewer 
man-hole  and  no  one  happened  at  the  moment  to  have 
his  eyes  on  the  spot. 

"My  theory,  hermaphroditoi,  is  that  Mollie  went 
right  from  O'Neil's  to  her  cry-baby  chum's.  Probably 
within  walking  distance,  because  every  soul  in  New 
York  was  asked  through  the  newspapers  over  and  over 
again  if  they  had  met  on  any  public  conveyance  the 
morning  of  Mollie's  dropping  out  of  sight  a  young  lady 
of  her  description,  so  detailed  as  to  give  even  the 
pattern  of  her  shoes,  besides  her  much  published 
photographs.  Her  disappearance  was  at  the  time  the 
seven-days  wonder  of  New  York  and  every  one  was 
discussing  it. 

"The  rule  with  men-women1 — as  with  us  women- 

1  The  scientific  names  "androgyne"  and  "gynander"  evidence 
a  blunder  of  their  coiner.  The  order  of  their  components  is 
the  reverse  of  their  English  colloquial  equivalents. 


156  Solution  of  Mollie's  Disapvearance. 

men — is  never  to  breathe  to  any  one  of  their  every-day 
circle  a  word  about  their  sweethearts  because  of  the 
misunderstanding  and  horror  evidenced  by  people  ig- 
norant of  psychology.  As  a  rule  the  soul-mates  of  us 
better-class  bisexuals  belong  to  a  much  lower  social 
stratum.  Very  likely  Mollie's  lived  in  one  of  the  thou- 
sands of  tumbledown  tenements  within  walking  dis- 
tance of  O'Neil's. 

"According  to  my  theory,  hermaphroditoi — and  I 
have  seen  a  hundred  times  more  of  life  than  the  aver- 
age man,  and  possess  some  sense  notwithstanding 
people  not  knowing  me  well  set  me  down  as  only  a 
high-grade  idiot  because  of  my  outward  frivolousness 
and  an  unfortunate  infantile  carriage — the  cry-baby's 
husband  or  father  had  only  just  learned  of  what  he,  as 
well  as  ninety-nine  out  of  every  hundred  men,  mis- 
takenly regarded  as  the  horribly  corrupting  influence 
of  the  poor  martyr  Mollie  on  the  hare-brained  cry- 
baby. Ignorant  that  men-women  are  victims  of  birth 
and  that  their  so-called  'depravity'  brings  not  the  least 
harm  to  any  one,  and  insanely  angry  with  Mollie  into 
the  bargain,  he  that  very  morning  bludgeoned  her  in 
his  apartment.  And  he  happened  to  succeed  in  dis- 
posing of  the  corpse. 

"I  thought  of  Mollie  when  last  week  the  papers 
told  about  an  unrecognizable  female  body,  bent  double, 
having  been  found  in  a  trunk  filled  with  salt  that  for 
two  years  had  rested  unclaimed  in  the  trunk-room  of 
the  third-class  Hotel  X — just  the  type  that  a  tenement- 
dweller  would  select  to  harbor  such  a  trunk.  The 
murderer  was  evidently  a  meat-packer,  familiar  with 
the  processes  of  salting  down. 

"In  such  strange  ways  a  continuous  string  of  both 


Man's  Prudery  Causes  Many  Murders.         157 

men-women  and  women-men  are  being  struck  down  in 
New  York  for  no  other  reason  than  loathing  for  those 
born  bisexual.  And  public  opinion  forbids  the  publi- 
cation of  the  facts  of  bisexuality,  which,  if  generally 
known,  would  put  an  end  to  these  mysterious  murders 
of  innocents." 

********  *  * 

"Hello,  Mith  Nighty!"  several  called  as  one  of 
the  tallest,  oldest,  and  most  brunette  of  the  hermaphro- 
ditoi  entered  the  Cercle's  dressing-room.  The  andro- 
gyne who  had  adopted  the  name  of  a  romantic  woman 
had,  during  his  twenties,  before  becoming  thick-set, 
been  a  female-impersonator  on  the  vaudeville  stage. 

"Mith  Nighty !"  one  of  the  youngest  hermaphro- 
ditoi  shouted  in  a  falsetto.  "Queenie  and  I  want  you 
to  coach  us  in  female-impersonation.  Next  Friday  at 
the  Masked  Ball  we  make  our  debut  as  public  female- 
impersonators." 

A  senior:  "The  world  would  call  our  hobby  in- 
sanity. But  the  explanation  is  that  we  were  created 
psychic  females,  who  yearn  for  the  dress  and  role  of 
that  sex — to  feel  skirts  flapping  about  our  ankles — 
and  nevertheless  Nature  has  been  so  cruel  as  to  incar- 
nate our  woman-souls  in  the  abhorred  male  body." 

Another:  "But  other  than  in  us  women-men,  the 
male  figure  is  infinitely  more  artistic  than  the  female. 
The  only  disgusting  thing  in  man  is  the  beardal 
growth.  I  can  tolerate  in  a  beau  a  small  moustache 
only,  but  prefer  him  clean-shaven.  But  feminine 
breasts  are  the  very  badge  of  beastliness!  You,  of 
course,  excepted,  Ralph-Jennie.  The  short,  fat,  knock- 
kneed  feminine  legs  are  monstrosities !     If  you"ll  par- 


158  Common  Androgyne  Practices. 

don  me  for  saying  it,  Phyllis.  On  the  other  hand,  the 
muscles  of  an  athlete  compel  the  attention." 

Later  it  chanced  that  Roland  Reeves  and  myself 
entered  into  a  soft-spoken  dialogue:  "Ralph,  do  you 
know  any  woman-man  whom  we  ought  to  get  into  the 
Cercle?" 

"Four!  But  they  do  not  realize  anybody  is  wise 
outside  the  young  athlete  each  has  selected  as  chum. 
No  one  but  another  woman-man,  or  a  full-fledged  man 
who  had  read  Krafft-Ebing,1  would  ever  suspect  them. 
Their  public  conduct  is  always  the  height  of  propriety. 
One  of  them  even  makes  it  a  practice  to  boast  of  ex- 
cesses cum  femina — to  ward  off  suspicion,  for  he  has 
always  shunned  females  as  one  would  the  plague.  But 
on  the  basis  of  self-knowledge,  we  women-men  easily 
recognize  our  own  kind.  I  need  only  hear  the  voice 
and  glimpse  the  features  and  figure. 

"But  none  of  the  four  ever  visits  the  Underworld. 
They  do  not  feel  the  need.  Their  being  so  fortunate 
as  to  have  secured  soul-mates  among  their  every-day 
circle  has  proved  their  safety-valve.  You,  Roland, 
and  I  have  simply  been  denied  by  Providence  a  hero- 
confidant  from  among  our  every-day  circle.  More- 
over, we  have  been  unwilling  to  risk  betrayal  to  that 
circle.  We  are  not  hunting  for  high-figured  blackmail 
and  possibly  years  in  prison. 

"One  is  a  university  student.  The  college  body 
refers  to  his  ultra-virile  room-mate  and  himself  as  "X 
and  wife."  But  no  user  of  the  phrase  ever  dreams  of 
its  real  significance,  not  knowing  of  the  existence  of 
intermediates.      Of  course  they  have  heard  of  homo- 

1  Havelock  Ellis's  works  on  sex — the  foremost  in  the 
English  language — had  not  yet  been  published  in  1895. 


An  Androgyne  Outcast.  159 

sexuality,  but  think  only  the  scum  of  mankind  could 
be  guilty.  Impossible  in  the  case  of  a  high-minded 
intellectual ! 

"Here's  Plum.  Plumkin,  you  look  as  if  you  had 
lost  your  last  friend!" 

The  23-year  Mollie  Coddle  sobbed:  "Everything 
looks  dark.  Two  days  ago  I  was  fired.  I  have  hardly 
slept  a  wink  since.  I  have  hope  for  the  future  only  in 
the  grave.  Some  bigot  denounced  me  to  the  boss.  He 
called  me  into  his  private  office.  As  this  had  never 
happened  before,  I  guessed  the  reason " 

Plum  outlined  his  conference.  I  have  listened  to 
several  similar  confessions.  The  following  is  a 
composite. 

Plum:  "I  confess  to  being  a  woman-man  and 
throw  myself  upon  your  mercy." 

Fairsea :  "That  confession  is  sufficient,  and  proves 
you  an  undesirable  person  to  have  around!" 

Plum:  "It  will  be  hard  to  find  a  new  job,  since 
I  have  been  with  you  for  five  years  and  must  depend 
on  your  recommendation." 

Fairsea :  "Knowing  your  nature,  Plum,  I  could  not 
recommend  you  even  to  shovel  coal  into  a  furnace  I" 

Plum:  "But  you  have  steadily  advanced  me  for 
five  years!  Why  should  to-day's  discovery  make  any 
difference  in  your  opinion  of  my  business  ability?" 

Fairsea  with  a  sneer:  "An  invert  ought  to  leave 
brain  work  for  others !  He  ought  to  exhaust  himself 
on  a  farm  from  sunrise  to  sunset  so  that  the  psychic 
movings  would  be  next  to  non-existent.  He  should  pass 
his  life  in  the  back  woods;  not  in  a  city.      He  has  no 


160  Bigotry  Unparalielled. 

right  in  the  front  ranks  of  civilization  where  his  ab- 
normality is  so  out  of  place!" 

Plum:  "You  mean  that  he  should  commit  intell- 
ectual and  social  suicide  in  obedience  to  the  aesthetic 
sense  of  Pharisees?" 

Fairsea :  "Certainly !  The  innate  feelings  and  the 
conscience,  as  well  as  the  Bible,  teach  that  the  invert 
has  no  rights!  I  myself  have  only  deep-rooted  con- 
tempt for  him!  Every  fibre  in  my  body,  every  cell 
in  my  tissues,  cries  out  in  loud  protest  against  him! 
He  is  the  lowest  of  the  low!  I  dare  say  that  at  the 
bottom  of  your  heart,  Plum,  you  are  thoroughly 
ashamed  of  the  confession  you  made  a  moment  ago?" 

Plum:  "By  no  means.  I  have  learned  to  look 
upon  bisexuality  as  a  scientist  and  a  philosopher.  But 
you  have  just  shown  yourself  to  be  still  groping  in 
the  Dark  Ages. 

"No,  Mr.  Fairsea,  I  can  hardly  bring  myself  to 
be  ashamed  of  the  handiwork  of  God.  A  bisexual 
has  no  more  reason  than  a  full-fledged  man  or  woman 
to  be  ashamed  of  his  God-given  sexuality. 

"You  appear,  Mr.  Fairsea,  to  be  unable  to  get  my 
point  of  view.  All  in  my  anatomy  and  psyche  that  you 
gloat  in  calling  depraved  and  contemptible  I  have  been 
used  to  since  my  early  teens.  If  your  views  have  any 
justification  in  science  or  ethics,  I  am  unable  to  see  it. 
Although  it  almost  breaks  my  heart  to  be  made  an  out- 
cast and  penniless  by  yourself,  I  prefer  that  lot,  know- 
ing I  am  in  the  right,  than  to  be  in  the  wrong  even  if 
sitting,  as  yourself,  in  the  chair  of  president  of  the 
X Company. 

"How   do   you   define   'depraved',    Mr.    Fairsea? 


Reasons  for  Non-Segregation.  161 

If  in  such  a  way  as  to  exclude  Socrates,  Plato,  Michael 
Angelo,  and  Raphael,  then  you  exclude  me  also." 

Fairsea :  "But  the  phenomenon  works  against  the 
multiplication  of  the  human  race.  Nature,  with  this 
in  view,  instilled  in  all  but  the  scum  of  mankind  this 
utter  disgust  for  the  invert.  To  the  end  of  the  con- 
tinued existence  of  the  race,  he  must  be  condemned 
to  a  life  of  unsatisfied  longing.  For  this  reason  he 
should  be  imprisoned  for  life,  not  for  only  ten  or 
twenty  years  as  the  statutes  now  provide ! 

"We  strictly  segregate  diphtheria  and  scarlet 
fever,  Plum.  Why  should  we  not  similarly  quarantine 
against  inversion?" 

Plum :  "Because  there  is  a  vast  difference.  Con- 
tagious disease,  if  not  strictly  segregated,  would 
occasion  death  and  acute  suffering  to  many  additional 
persons.     Whereas  the  bisexuals'  being  at  liberty 

OCCASIONS  NOT  THE  LEAST  DETRIMENT  TO  ANY  INDI- 
VIDUAL, NOR  TO  THE  RACE  AS  A  WHOLE. 

"A  second  reason:  The  quarantining  of  conta- 
gious disease  is  only  a  matter  of  shutting  up  a  few 
persons  for  a  few  weeks  in  their  own  homes.  It 
causes  no  serious  privation  or  suffering.  Whereas 
the  segregation  of  bisexuals  would  affect  for  a  lifetime 
tens  of  thousands  of  our  most  useful  members  of 
society.  It  would  occasion,  among  these  already  ac- 
cursed by  Nature,  additional  intense  mental  suffering, 
despair,  and  suicide. 

"Any  one  who  can  suggest  the  latter  segregation 
is  unable  to  see  farther  away  than  the  end  of  his  nose. 

"And  as  to  race  suicide,  Mr.  Fairsea.  You  should 
be  the  very  last  to  lecture  anybody  on  that  subject! 
You  are  the  father  of  only  two  children  and  have  put 


162  Leaders  of  Thought  Ignore  Evidence. 

three  wives  under  the  sod  through  your  beastly,  ex- 
cessive demands! 

"Can  it  be  that  you  shut  your  eyes  to  all  evidence? 
Do  ocular  proofs  count  for  nothing?  Hasn't  the 
human  race  survived  the  best  decades  of  classic 
Greece?  While  the  Greeks  are  acknowledged  by  all 
modern  historians  to  have  attained  the  highest  devel- 
opment of  mind  and  body  ever  known,  they  at  the 
same  time  gave  to  the  women-men  who  happened  to 
be  born  among  them — as  among  all  races  of  all  ages — 
an  honorable  place.  And  by  far  more  place,  both  in 
their  personal  and  social  life,  than  in  the  case  of  any 
other  nation  of  the  ancient  or  modern  world." 

Fairsea :  "But  I  had  hoped  that  the  human  race 
had  evolved  above  this  phenomenon !  I  hate  to  believe 
it  of  the  human  race!  Because  the  phenomenon  low- 
ers humanity  down  to  the  lowest  levels  of  animal  life ! 
I " 

Plum:  "So  does  eating!" 

Fairsea:  "I  detest  it!  My  disgust  is  innermost 
and  deepseated !  To  begin  now  to  show  any  mercy 
to  the  invert,  after  having  for  two  thousand  years 
confined  him  in  dungeons,  burned  him  at  the  stake, 
and  buried  him  alive,  would  be  a  backward  step  in  the 
evolution  of  the  race ! 

"Plum,  the  invert  is  not  fit  to  live  with  the  rest  of 
mankind !  He  should  be  shunned  as  the  lepers  of 
biblical  times!  If  generously  allowed  outside  prison 
walls,  the  law  should  at  least  ordain  that  the  word 
'unclean'  be  branded  in  his  forehead,  and  should  com- 
pel him  to  cry:  'unclean!  unclean!'  as  he  walks 
the  streets,  lest  his  very  brushing  against  decent 
people  <  ontaminate  them !" 


Bias  Rules  in  Sex  Domain.  163 

Plum :  "All  that  is  only  bigotry  and  bias !  Nearly 
every  man's  conduct  is  still  governed  by  bias !" 

Fairsea:  "I  even  acknowledge  that  it  is  bias! 
For  bias  is  justifiable  in  matters  of  sex!. . .  .You  say 
that  medical  writers  have  declared  inverts  irrespon- 
sible! That  declaration  proves  that  they  know  noth- 
ing about  them!  You  say  inverts  are  assaulted  and 
blackmailed!  They  deserve  to  be!  It  would  be 
wrong  for  any  one  at  all  to  show  any  leniency !  Their 
existence  ought  to  be  made  so  intolerable  as  to  drive 
them  to  lead  their  sexual  life  along  the  lines  followed 
by  all  other  men !  Your  case,  Plum,  fills  me  with  such 
disgust  that  I  could  not  rest  knowing  you  were  around 

the  office  I" 

*         $        $  $$  $         $  $  *         $ 

Roland  brought  the  conversation  to  a  close: 
"Mankind  are  so  steeped  in  egotism !  Whatever  they 
are  not  personally  inclined  to  is  always  horribly  im- 
moral !  Whatever  they  are  instinctively  inclined  to  is 
always  supremely  right! 

"Why  not  go  to  the  root  of  the  matter  and  take 
revenge  on  Nature,  instead  of  her  irresponsible  and 
pitiable  step-children?  Nature  alone  is  to  blame  for 
the  existence  of  sexual  cripples.  Why  not  marshal 
every  son  and  daughter  of  Adam  for  the  work  of 
honeycombing  the  entire  crust  of  the  earth  with  gal- 
leries to  be  filled  with  dynamite?  And  then  set  off  the 
world-wide  charge  simultaneously  so  as  to  destroy  all 
terrestrial  Nature  at  one  coup,  humanity  included. 
This  would  constitute  man's  sole  logical  vengeance  on 
bisexuality. 

"But  man  is  truly  a  passional,  rather  than 
a  rational,  being." 


164  The  Fairie  Boy. 


VI.     Thoughts  Suggested  by  the  "  Hermaphroditoi " 
in  General. 

I  associated  with  the  hermaphroditoi  less  than  a 
year.  Paresis  Hall  then  happened  to  be  raided  by 
the  police  and  the  hermaphroditoi — who  happened  to 
be  the  police's  chief  quarry — afterward  gave  the  re- 
sort a  wide  berth  for  fear  of  arrest. 

The  hermaphroditoi  numbered  about  a  score. 
All  were  highly  cultured  ultra-androgynes  varying  in 
age  from  eighteen  to  forty.  Half-a-score  have  given 
me  their  life-story.  But  the  careers  of  only  two  were 
particularly  tragic.  I  have  therefore,  in  Parts  Four 
and  Five,  detailed  the  life-stories  of  these  two  as  near- 
ly as  I  can  remember,  having  of  course  taken  no  notes 
at  the  time. 

In  the  lives  of  some  hermaphroditoi,  nothing  par- 
ticularly remarkable  had  ever  transpired  beyond  their 
chronic  female-impersonation  sprees.  For  example, 
Roland  Reeves,  the  most  brilliant,  was,  in  every  act, 
moderate  and  sensible.  He  was  of  the  type  of  cross- 
dressing  androgyne  that  possesses  little  animality.  He 
was  by  no  means  a  coquette — as  were  most  of  the 
hermaphroditoi.  People  would  say  that  he  had  more 
self-restraint  and  moral  backbone  than  the  coquettes. 
But  my  unusually  wide  observations  have  taught  me 
that  sexual  moderation  is  as  a  rule  due  to  weak  instinct 
when  not  to  lack  of  opportunity. 

A  prime  regulator  of  the  sexual  intensity  of  the 
adult  androgyne — as  probably  of  all  humans — consists 


The  Author  at  Thirty-four 
(Amateur  Photo) 


Parents,  Take  Time  for  Your  Children!        165 

of  the  influences  toward  sexual  expression  during 
childhood.  My  own  adult  career  had  its  prototype  in 
my  intense  fairie-ism  from  two  until  seven.  Sexual 
impressions  of  early  childhood  have  often  a  powerful 
influence  down  through  middle  life.  In  large  measure 
they  determine  the  course  to  be  taken  by  the  adult 
sexual  life.     Parents  can  not  be  too  watchful  of 

THE  SECRET  PRACTICES  OF  SMALL  CHILDREN,  AND  OF 
THE  INFLUENCE  OF  SERVANTS. 

Androgynes,  during  childhood,  are  particularly 
prone  to  fall  into  bad  habits  (fellatio ;  or  pathicism  in 
psedicatio)  because  always  confined  with  their  sexual 
opposites.  What  would  one  expect  of  the  chastity  of 
a  high-strung  girl  of  twelve  marooned  for  a  summer  on 
an  island  with  merely  a  dozen  ultra-virile  youths? 
That  is  the  identical  situation  of  youthful  androgynes. 
As  a  rule,  when  an  androgyne  reaches  the  middle 
thirties,  the  instinct  to  dress  and  pose  as  a  mademoi- 
selle gradually  becomes  feeble.  Age  sobers  many  and 
they  become  practically  asexual.  I  have  observed  the 
same  thing  in  ultra-virile  men  during  my  twelve  years 
career  as  their  mignon.  Their  craze  for  the  opposite 
sex  is  strongest  from  twenty  to  twenty-five  (just  at 
the  time  when  Christian  custom  interdicts  the  propen- 
sity) after  which  it  gradually  declines.  It  is  the  same 
with  animals.  Poulterers  cut  off  the  heads  of  all 
but  "adolescent"  roosters.  I  have  myself  been  a 
Guinea  pig  fancier.  I  discovered  that  the  males  grad- 
ually lose  their  virility  at  middle  age. 

Indeed  I  have  observed  that  as  androgynes 
approach  fifty,  they  sometimes  become  more  mascu- 
line than  they  ever  were,  and  will  even  marry.  It 
seems  that  in  rare  cases  mild  virility  supplants  sexual 


166  "Change  of  Life"  {Climacteric). 

passivity  as  fifty  is  approached.  On  the  other  hand, 
I  have  heard  of  mildly  virile  men  marrying  in  their 
twenties,  begetting  children,  and  only  after  reaching 
middle  age,  becoming  somewhat  sissified,  acquiring 
horror  feminas,  like  ultra-androgynes,  and  finally  seek- 
ing the  latter's  sexual  role. 

These  changes  in  ultra-androgynes  and  in  the 
mildly  virile  are  like  menopause  in  woman.  There  is 
a  turning  point  in  the  sex  life.  The  hitherto  passive 
ultra-androgyne  occasionally  becomes  active.  The 
mildly  virile  occasionally  develops  a  quasi-feminine 
leaning.  The  latter  class  were  possibly  mildly  andro- 
gynous by  birth,  but  the  idiosyncrasies  did  not  come  to 
the  front  of  the  mental  life  until  the  climacteric  corres- 
ponding to  menopause. 

In  my  Autobiography  of  an  Androgyne,  I  said 
nothing  about  my  personal  "menopause"  because  it 
came  at  about  the  close  of  my  writing  that  book,  and 
I  did  not  recognize  it  as  such  until  after  the  latter's 
publication.  On  page  197,  I  described  how,  at  the  age 
of  forty-two,  my  weight,  stripped,  within  six  weeks, 
jumped  from  133  to  160.  For  ten  years,  it  had  been 
stationary  at  133.  For  the  following  five  years,  it  has 
been  stationary  at  160.  I  now  attribute  the  change  to 
"menopause."  Moreover,  a  few  months  after  the  in- 
crease in  weight,  I  kept  company  with  a  young  lady  for 
half-a-year.  I  drifted  into  it  almost  unconsciously 
and  involuntarily.  I  paid  her  gallantries  immeasurably 
beyond  any  other  incident  of  my  life.  I  even  regarded 
a  Platonic  marriage  as  a  possibility,  though  not  a 
probability. 

But  I  was  too  extreme  an  androgyne,  in  addition 
to  my  having  been  castrated.     The  virility  that  occa- 


My  Personal  Menopause.  167 

sionally  for  the  first  time  surges  up  in  ultra-andro- 
gynes at  "the  change  of  life"  could  not  go  very  far 
with  me.  After  six  months,  I  renounced  the  pseudo- 
courtship  entirely,  with  disgust  at  the  feminine  sex, 
but  particularly  with  the  young  female  who  had  done 
her  best  to  rope  me  in  as  her  husband.  For  she  did 
most  of  the  courting.  I  merely  let  myself  almost  fall 
into  her  trap. 
***  *         #  #         *  *  ** 

Even  in  my  twenty-second  year — the  period  when 
I  belonged  to  the  Cercle  Hermaphrodites — I  had  al- 
ready written  a  brief  Autobiography.  But  the  bigot- 
ry of  cultured  man  made  me  wait  twenty-three  years 
for  publication.  Already — because  I  happened  to  be  an 
ultra-androgyne  myself — I  had  selected  androgynism 
as  my  special  field  in  science  and  literature.  I  there- 
fore desired  to  collect  all  the  data  possible,  although 
not  yet  having  acquired  the  habit  of  note-making. 

In  order  to  draw  out  atypic  individuals — particu- 
larly androgynes — I  made  it  a  practice  first  to  reveal 
my  own  secrets.  This  frankness  generally  led  them 
to  confide  to  me  what  they  never  breathed  to  another — 
people  in  general,  and  particularly  cultured  andro- 
gynes, having  an  absurd  reluctance  to  discuss  the 
sexual  side  of  their  lives.  (Androgynes  for  fear  of 
persecution  and  prosecution,  not  by  reason  of  prude- 
ry.) And  the  human  race  has  suffered  so  greatly  as 
a  result  of  this  obsession ! 

When  God  created  human  nature,  his  handiwork 
was  so  horrible  that  mankind,  as  soon  as  they  reached 
the  stage  of  civilization,  have  thrown  a  blanket  over 
their  own  nature,   after  the   example   of   Shem  and 


168  Man  Ashamed  of  His  Nature. 

Japheth  with  their  father  Noah's  drunken  nakedness. 
Cultured  man  has  interdicted  human  nature's  coming 
out  into  the  light  of  day  because  of  its  inexpressible 
ugliness. 

Even  in  the  twentieth  century  in  the  English- 
speaking  world,  next  to  nothing  is  known  about  human 
sexuality.  At  least  with  the  exception  of  a  handful 
of  sexologists.  Each  individual  simply  knows  his  own 
sexual  life,  refuses  to  divulge  it  because  of  its 
"nastiness,"  and  is  unable  to  overcome  his  shame  to 
inquire  whether  other  humans  (men  and  women,  res- 
pectively) are  of  like  passions  with  himself.  He 
assumes  yes.  But  the  truth  of  the  matter  is  that  on 
the  sexual  side  of  life,  every  individual  is  sui  generis. 
And  if  a  man  or  woman  does  chance  to  discover  that  an 
associate  is  different  "  from  me,"  right  away  he  or  she 
is  crazy  to  murder  the  associate  for  daring  to  be  dif- 
ferent! On  no  side  of  life  is  charity  so  much  needed 
as  on  the  sexual. 

But  Frank  White  (or  Eunice) — whom,  out  of 
deference  to  the  predilections  of  the  general  reader,  I 
am  going  to  let  tell  "his-her"  own  story  in  Part  Four 
— needed,  by  exception,  little  urging  to  draw  him  out. 
He  told  me  piecemeal.  But  I  hand  it  on  to  my  readers 
without  a  break.  Moreover,  I  endeavor  to  reproduce 
his  unconscious  hifalutin,  Johnsonese  style  of  ex- 
pression. 

At  the  time  he  epitomized  his  life  for  me,  Frank- 
Eunice  (as  he  was  known  in  the  Underworld)  was  a 
comely  blonde  around  forty,  and  five  feet  five  tall.  His 
physique  was  not  noticeably  feminine.  He  possessed 
merely  a  small-boy  air  and  appearance,  notwithstand- 
ing his  hair  was  nearly  white,  though  not  thin.      The 


Frank  White  Introduced.  169 

beardal  growth  was  sparse,  always  clean-shaven,  and 
for  special  occasions,  eradicated.  The  amative  side 
of  life  ("erotic  ardor",  as  he  phrased  it)  was  his  only- 
fault.  In  leisure  hours  he  could  talk  of  little  else  than 
modern  exemplars  of  adolescent  Adonis  or  Hercules. 
In  this  respect  he  was  one  of  the  two  or  three  extreme 
hermaphroditoi. 


Bowery,  in  the  Nineteenth  Century  America's  Main 

Red-Light  Street,   and   Stamping-Ground  of 

Frank-Eunice,    Angelo-Phyllis,    and 

Ralph    Werther-Jennie    June 


•Jjfari  ,3fowr: 

I.     Debut  as  Adult  Female-Impersonator. 

Ralph,  I  was  ushered  into  this  mundane  sphere  in 
the  year  of  our  Lord  1854.  I  was  a  lucky  dog  to  be 
brought  up  on  the  upper  West  Side  a  few  blocks  from 
Central  Park  [New  York  City].  As  a  diminutive 
urchin,  I  dolled  myself  up  in  feminine  habiliments 
at  every  opportunity.  Eunice  was  my  favorite  play- 
mate. I  opined  her  appellation  the  most  melodious 
that  ever  impinged  upon  my  eardrums  and  regretted 
it  was  not  mine  personally.  Whenever  I  flaunted  my- 
self in  skirts,  I  adopted  it. 

In  my  early  teens,  father  escorted  me  to  a  phy- 
sician that  the  latter  might  query  me  concerning  my 
feminine  predilections  and  ridicule  me  out  of  same. 
Simultaneously  father,  through  severe  castigation,  im- 
posed a  finis  to  female-impersonation  in  my  own  clique. 
I  therefore  commenced,  during  periods  of  special  ob- 
session to  be  a  puella,  the  practice  of  perambulating 
the  slums,  first  by  daylight,  and  later  after  the  shades 
of  night  had  fallen.  During  these  insensate  peregrin- 
ations, there  would  swarm  through  my  mind  visions 
of  flirtations  with  the  ruffians  around  my  age  that  I 
encountered.  These  "huskies"  riveted  my  gaze. 
They  fascinated  me.     But  not  until  the  fifth  or  sixth 

»  [170] 


The  Pugilists'  Haven.  171 

peregrination  could  I  screw  up  courage  to  insinuate 
myself  into  the  confidence  of  one  of  these  magical 
intelligences. 

I  chanced  for  the  first  time  to  run  across  a  Bowery 
bar-room,  the  "Pugilists'  Haven,"  which,  I  had  read  in 
the  papers,  was  the  rendezvous  of  prize-fighters, 
gamblers,  and  gun-men  [the  most  desperate  type  of 
gangster  who  will  murder  for  pay].  The  press  ad- 
vocated its  obliteration.  Curious  that  just  because 
of  this  reputation,  I  was  immediately  insane  to  enter. 
For  it  was  unholy  ground.  I  reflected :  "In  this  lowest 
of  dives,  they  may  accept  me  as  a  puella,  although 
superficially  a  boy."  Because  all  early  influences, 
Ralph,  had  made  me  opine  that  taking  the  part  of  a 
girl  was  the  very  lowest  thing  a  boy  could  descend  to. 
I  further  pondered:  "Between  the  luxurious  mansion 
of  pater  familias  and  this  dingy  dive,  give  me  the 
latter!  For  here  alone  I  might  be  able  to  pass  as  a 
puella.  In  my  own  cultured,  Christian  circle,  female- 
impersonation  is  castigated.  But  would  not  the  atti- 
tude of  the  offscouring  of  our  mundane  sphere — the 
Pugilists'  Haven  gunmen — be  different?" 

And  how  crazy  I  was  to  insinuate  myself  with  the 
adolescent  gunmen,  whom  I  had  only  read  about !  The 
very  supposition  of  their  presence  just  within  that 
latticed  door  attracted  me  as  a  potent  magnet  snatches 
steel  filings  to  itself.  I  passed  and  repassed  the  dive, 
continuously  imagining  what  would  transpire  if  I 
should  penetrate  this  unholy  of  unholies,  and  having 
delectable  visions  of  every  species  of  flirtation  with  the 
demigods  who  made  the  saloon  their  rendezvous. 

I  finally  emboldened  myself  to  thrust  aside  a  leaf 
of  the  latticed  portal.     It  was  my  first  appearance  in- 


172  "A  Cat  in  a  Strange  Garret." 

side  a  saloon,  and  I  never  had  tasted  any  intoxicant. 
In  my  diffidence  and  ignorance  of  the  proper  course  to 
pursue,  I  subsided  into  the  first  vacant  fauteuil.  For, 
on  one  side,  against  the  wall,  were  rude,  wooden  faut- 
euils,  almost  all  occupied  by  middle-aged  cherry-nosed 
individuals.  Extending  the  full  length  of  the  other 
side  was  a  bar  crowded  with  fast-looking  younger  men, 
each  with  a  glass  before  him.  Doubtless  because  of 
my  verdancy,  several  commenced  eyeing  me,  making 
remarks,  and  laughing.  The  nearest  bar-tender  im- 
mediately inquired :  "Doll-baby,  what'll  yer  have  ter 
drink?" 

"Nothing." 

"Jackass!  Every  bloke  dat  comes  inter  dis  here 
joint  has  ter  take  somethink!" 

"Then  give  me  a  glass  of  beer,"  I  replied  hardly 
above  a  whisper.  In  my  embarrassment,  I  imbibed 
the  beverage  almost  at  a  swallow.  That  gave  all  the 
witnesses  hysterics.  They  assured  me:  "We  only  sip 
it!"  They  addressed  me  as  "Siss!"  "Pet!" 
"Fairie!"  I  did  not  immediately  perceive  the  signi- 
ficance of  the  last  appellation.  I  was  encircled.  Par- 
ticularly two  sailors  ingratiated  themselves.  They 
requested  me  to  purchase  "schnapps"  for  them  because 
impecunious.  I  provided  glass  after  glass,  for  they 
were  bewitchingly  gallant.  All  the  other  individuals 
were  kidding  me :  "The  doll-baby  likes  the  blue-jackets, 
sure  Mike !"  "Sailor-boy,  take  off  your  suit  and  make 
it  a  present  to  her !"  "How  I  wish  I  was  one  of  Uncle 
Sam's  boys  and  I'd  git  steeped  in  schnapps  too !"  I  was 
mortified  by  such  observations,  and  as  soon  as  the 
sailor-boys  invited  me,  departed  under  their  escort. 

I  hired  a  chamber  at  a  third-class  hotel  nearby. 


A  Transformation  Not  Bargained  For.  173 

I  gave  them  funds  to  secure  another.  For  we  did  not 
desire  that  the  clerk  perceive  that  we  were  all  to  occupy 
the  identic  room.  We  pretended  the  sailors  and  I 
were  unacquainted 

They  finished  by  inserting  a  handkerchief  into  my 
buccal  cavity,  tying  a  strip  of  the  bed  linen  over  it, 
binding  my  hands  behind  my  back,  and  fastening  my 
lower  extremities  to  the  bed  springs  so  that  I  could  not 
even  kick.  They  then  departed  with  my  wallet  and 
outer  clothing. 

After  an  hour  of  helplessness,  I  discovered  that 
the  partition  to  the  adjacent  chamber  was  scarcely 
more  than  card-board.  Because  I  perceived  sounds  of 
the  entrance  of  an  individual.  I  could  even  hear  his 
breathing.  I  discerned  the  words :  "How  I  wish  I  had 
three  hundred  dollars !" 

I  commenced  a  continuous  jouncing  up  and  down. 
The  uninterrupted  tintinnabulation  of  the  springs 
attracted  the  individual's  attention  and  he  addressed 
me.  I  could  respond  only  with  a  low  gurgling.  The 
clerk  soon  liberated  me.  I  had  to  confess  everything. 
But  he  manifested  sympathy  and  donated  a  nickel  for 
carfare. 

One  blue-jacket  was  of  about  my  own  measure- 
ments. Evidently  he  intended  to  desert.  For  he  had 
abandoned  his  uniform.  I  was  compelled  to  attire  my- 
self therein  and  boarded  a  car  for  my  domicile. 

My  house-key  had  remained  in  my  appropriated 
habiliments.  How  to  enter  was  my  problem.  If  I 
rang,  my  arrival  at  midnight  costumed  as  a  sailor 
would  disclose  everything.  I  hoped  the  butler  had  ne- 
glected to  secure  the  covering  of  the  coal-hole  in  front 
of  the  basement  windows. 


174  Androgynes  Resourceful. 

Every  one  had  retired.  Able  to  raise  the  cover- 
ing, I  dropped  to  the  coal-pile.  I  discovered  that  the 
door  at  the  head  of  the  cellar  stairs  was  also  fortu- 
nately unsecured.  With  trepidation  and  in  absolute 
silence,  I  ascended,  in  stocking  feet,  to  my  chamber 
and  devoutly  thanked  Providence  for  restoration  to 
my  family  without  a  hair  injured. 

I  had  only  recently  purchased  the  appropriated 
habiliments.  The  subsequent  day  I  visited  the  same 
establishment  and  succeeded  in  securing  an  exact  du- 
plicate so  that  my  family  would  not  observe  the  dis- 
appearance of  the  original. 


Frank — Eunice.  175 


II.    The  Pug  Heaven. 

I  henceforth  visited  the  Pugilists'  Haven  one  eve- 
ning each  week.  After  the  appropriation  of  one  good 
suit,  I  always  attired  myself  rather  shabbily.  After 
seven  o'clock  dinner,  I  would  change  to  the  cast-off  ap- 
parel and  noiselessly  glide  down  the  two  flights  of 
stairs  from  my  chamber.  Fortunately  father  always 
had  prayers  after  dinner.  While  the  family  were  in  the 
prayer-room  and  all  the  servants  in  their  dining-room, 
I  succeeded  in  engineering  my  exit  for  an  evening's 
revel  with  little  risk,  in  my  poverty-stricken  disguise, 
of  encountering  any  individual  in  the  halls.  No  one 
ever  suspected  the  reason  for  my  absences.  It  was 
several  times  remarked  that  I  had  been  out  late.  But 
I  threw  the  observer  off  the  scent  by  the  pretext  of  a 
perambulation  to  obviate  insomnia. 

As  I  proceeded  rapidly  from  my  domicile,  I  would, 
if  I  detected  a  familiar  figure  advancing,  cross  to  the 
other  side  of  the  street  and  make  a  feint  of  ringing  a 
doorbell.  In  order,  in  my  dilapidated  apparel,  to  avert 
the  danger  of  encountering  on  the  public  conveyance 
some  one  acquainted  with  my  identity,  I  would  peram- 
bulate more  than  a  mile  in  order  to  attain  the  Bowery 
by  an  east-side  car.  On  the  way  I  would  conceal  my 
house-key  and  an  emergency  greenback  in  a  crevice 
in  the  Central  Park  stonewall — always  the  identic 
cavity  in  order  to  be  regained  with  ease. 

At  Pug  Heaven — as  my  dive  was  nicknamed — I 
was  universally  given  a  hearty  welcome  and  secured 


176  A  Female  with  Male  Genitals. 

the  society  of  adolescent  ruffians  fairly  clean  and 
sprucely  attired.  Of  course  they  always  ransacked  my 
pockets  the  first  chance  that  offered.  Before  it  could 
happen,  I  had  treated  liberally  half-a-dozen  of  the 
handsomest,  and  thus  insinuated  myself  into  their 
good  graces.  I  always  kept  a  reserve  five-dollar  bill 
sewed  in  the  waistband  of  my  trousers — a  pair  worn 
on  these  sprees  alone  because  too  shabby  to  be  a  temp- 
tation for  appropriation. 

On  my  second  appearance  at  Pug  Heaven,  the 
heroic  gunmen  entertained  me  with  episodes  about 
other  female-impersonators  they  had  encountered.  I 
particularly  remember  stories  about  the  "Duchess 
of  Austria,"  from  whom,  they  recounted,  "some  lucky 
guys  had  pumped"  hundreds  of  dollars.  One  narrated 
anecdotes  of  a  physician  located  south  of  Fourteenth 
Street.  Young  fellows  would  visit  his  office  to  be  medi- 
cated and  he  would  reveal  his  own  bisexuality.  My 
pals  did  not  marvel  at  all  over  my  strange  appetencies. 
They  entreated  me  to  bring  around  other  female-im- 
personators. They  were  merely  anxious  for  the  money 
it  would  bring  them.  When  I  apologized  for  my  queer 
penchant,  they  said :  "It  is  nothing.  It  is  Nature." 
Ralph,  those  adolescent  Pug  Heaven  sluggers  knew 
more  about  the  psychology  of  instinctive  female-im- 
personators than  all  the  M.  D.'s  in  America  combined ! 
From  that  single  hour's  conversation,  I  ascertained 
more  about  my  own  personality  than  in  my  prior  four- 
teen years  pilgrimage  on  this  planet.  For  the  first 
time,  the  riddle  of  my  existence  was  solved;  I  per- 
ceived that  I  had  been  born  a  biological  sport — a  fe- 
male with  male  genitals. 

I  soon  acquired  half-a-dozen  permanent  favorites. 


Impersonators  Expert  Actors.  177 

These  adolescent  sluggers  and  gunmen  lost  no  time  in 
assuring  me :  "You're  only  a  doll-baby,  Eunice,  and  so 
need  us  big,  strong  fellows  to  fight  your  battles.  But 
you  must  stay  with  our  gang!  If  we  should  catch 
you  running  around  with  any  other,  we'd  murder  you !" 

I  coveted  to  be  their  slave,  Ralph,  and  did  all  I 
could  for  them  without  disclosing  that  I  belonged  to 
a  wealthy  family,  because  a  female-impersonator  of  a 
higher  social  stratum  associating  incognito  with  gang- 
sters must  conceal  his  status.  At  Pug  Heaven,  I  be- 
came an  expert  detective  and  actor — an  accomplish- 
ment requisite  for  every  upper-class  impersonator 
destined  to  sprees  in  the  Underworld. 

A  thousand  times  I  desiderated  female  corporeali- 
ty so  that  I  could  have  married  one  of  these  magic 
gunmen.  How  I  have  envied  many  a  young  mother 
before  my  eyes  with  babe  in  arms !  How  could  a  God 
of  love  have  created  me  physically  a  male  when  I  have 
always  so  coveted  personal  female  corporeality,  and,  in 
adulthood,  the  mothering  of  offspring ! 

These  weekly  female-impersonation  explosions 
continued  more  than  two  years,  when  my  father 
relegated  me  to  a  university  several  hours  from  New 
York.  I  leave  it  nameless — to  spare  it  the  disgrace  of 
having  once  numbered  "Frank  White"  among  its  stu- 
dents. These  evenings  in  Pug  Heaven  were  the  most 
beatific  feature  of  life.  During  college  vacations,  and 
for  several  years  following  graduation,  I  occasionally 
visited  the  joint.  But  finally,  on  my  return  from  an 
extended  residence  in  Europe,  I  discovered  a  haber- 
dashery occupying  the  site.  I  was  informed  that  an 
application  for  renewal  of  license  had  been  denied. 
Its  habitues  became  thus  scattered. 


178  Frank — Eunice. 


III.    A  University  Friendship. 

Would  it  interest  you,  Ralph-Jennie,  to  hear  how 
I  was  blackmailed  in  college?  The  episode  commenced 
only  in  my  junior  year.  Throughout  the  first  two 
years,  because  of  the  safety-valve  I  possessed  in  the 
Pug  Heaven  gunmen,  I  had  succeeded  in  restraining 
my  appetencies  and  presenting  no  occasion  for  chant- 
age. But  early  in  my  junior  year,  the  janitor  of  my 
dormitory  happened  to  be  an  exquisite  chocolate 
cream-drop.  Only  twenty,  and  with  such  a  "divine" 
countenance!  I  could  have  gazed  into  it  throughout 
eternity  without  a  second's  intermission — until  I  de- 
tected the  rascality  underneath !  Such  dreamy  brown 
eyes!  Perfect,  arched  eyebrows!  Sun-flower  cheeks! 
And  soft  chestnut  hair!  Ralph,  you  never  saw  any- 
thing so  fascinating !  For  weeks  I  experienced  anguish 
at  being  denied  a  declaration  of  my  admiration!  I 
then  commenced  making  the  "divine"  creature  pres- 
ents. And  it  was  then  not  long  before  I  began  inviting 
him  around  to  my  room  after  all  the  other  students  had 
retired  and  there  was  little  risk  of  any  individual  dis- 
covering the  unequal  friendship.  For  I  would  have 
been  ostracized  for  entertaining  a  janitor.  And  again 
it  was  not  long  before  Jack  manifested  a  roguish 
streak  in  his  character,  which  any  one  but  an  intimate 
would  have  opined  equally  beautiful  with  his  counte- 
nance and  figure.  After  I  discovered  his  true  charac- 
ter, my  fascination  died  down.  But  there  was  abso- 
lutely nothing  to  do  but  tolerate  him  up  to  graduation. 


Anglo-American  Law  Unintelligent.  179 

In  the  course  of  my  two  decades  of  adulthood,  I 
have  repeatedly  fallen  victim  to  the  physical  charms 
of  some  adolescent  stalwart  menial  in  my  every-day 
environment.  I  have  lived  much  abroad.  In  the 
United  States  and  Great  Britain,  three  out  of  four,  if 
of  generally  good  reputation,  demonstrate  themselves 
diamonds  in  the  rough.  They  refuse  to  take  advantage 
of  a  step-child  of  Nature  whose  secret  they  happen  to 
unearth.  But  on  the  continent  of  Europe,  the  propor- 
tion is  as  high  as  nineteen  out  of  twenty.  There  a 
correct  knowledge  of  sexual  intermediates  is  widely 
disseminated  and  the  courts  deal  out  justice  to  the 
woman-man.  Even  the  Paris  apache  realizes  that 
these  bisexuals  are  worthy  of  commiseration  and  not 
responsible  for  their  idiosyncrasies.  But  English- 
speaking  countries  give  carte  blanche  to  every  prude 
actuated  to  pillage  and  even  murder  us  women-men. 
We  are  outlaws ;  enjoy  no  police  protection ;  and  are 
denied  recourse  to  the  laws  and  courts.  In  English- 
speaking  lands,  as  already  in  other  civilized  countries, 
even  the  scum  of  society  should  be  educated,  first  by 
newspaper  propaganda  whenever  the  murder  of  an 
intermediate  is  described,  and  then  from  mouth  to 
mouth,  that  the  woman-man  and  the  man-woman  are 
irresponsible  for  their  exceptional  sexuality  and  should 
not  be  tortured  on  account  of  it. 

Notwithstanding  that  I  immediately  entered  into 
an  arrangement  by  which  Jack  benefited  fifty  dollars 
a  month,  I  soon  perceived  evidences  of  whisperings 
that  "Frank  White  is  abnormal!"  An  exasperated 
classmate  once  even  exclaimed  sarcastically:  "You 
are  not  a  proper  person  to  associate  with !" 

In  my  senior  year,  I  failed  of  a  much  coveted 


180  Persecution  of  Androgynes. 

election  to  a  senior  society — an  election  which  many 
indeed  had  prophesied  on  the  basis  of  my  wealth  and 
scholarship.  The  failure  was  explicable  only  in  the 
rumors  apparently  being  circulated.  But  fortunately 
they  were  only  rumors.  In  my  college  days,  I  would 
never  have  been  so  reckless  as  to  have  permitted  any 
individual  ever  to  discover  me,  even  for  a  second,  in 
conversation  with  such  as  Jack.  Thus  Incredulity  fol- 
lowed closely  on  the  steps  of  Rumor.  Because  of  my 
general  goody-goodiness,  the  fellows  probably  thought 
it  impossible  for  me  to  be  so  utterly  depraved!  But 
the  actuality  was  far  beyond  rumor.  The  only  mis- 
take was  the  rumormongers  a  priori  assumption  of 
deepdyed  depravity.  I  was  not  a  whit  more  corrupt 
than  those  Pharisees  themselves!  The  worst  of  the 
matter  was  that  I  am  a  girl  incarnated  in  a  fellow's 
body,  and  nevertheless  doomed  to  be  segregated  exclu- 
sively with  males.  If  the  world  could  only  realize  that 
nearly  all  their  anxieties  and  horrors  are  as  ground- 
less as  this  abhorrence  of  myself  in  the  university ! 

Because  no  busybody  engaged  a  detective  to  ferret 
out  my  secrets,  I  was  privileged  to  graduate.  But 
commencement  day  was  like  that  of  my  own  funeral. 
For  I  realized  I  was  bidding  alma  mater  a  farewell 
forever.  First,  on  account  of  Jack's  treacherous  char- 
acter, who  had  remained  with  the  university  because 
of  his  advantages  with  me;  and  secondly,  on  account 
of  my  questionable  reputation.  Tears  even  trickled 
down  my  cheeks  during  the  commencement  exercises, 
Ralph.  For  I  felt  that  I  was  in  my  death  throes  so  far 
as  the  university  is  concerned.  I  was  compelled  hence- 
forth to  keep  out  of  touch,  including  all  alumni  gather- 
ings.    In  all  class  letters  and  address  lists  published 


Wiles  of  Androgynes.  181 

the  first  five  years,  I  engineered  things  so  that  there 
appeared  after  my  name:  "Whereabouts  unknown." 
Otherwise  Jack  might  have  ferreted  me  out.  The 
Pharisees  doubtless  concluded  my  "depravity"  had 
wrecked  my  life.  But  the  fact  was  that  I  rose  rapidly 
in  my  business  career. 

Primarily  in  -order  to  give  Jack  the  slip,  I  spent 
the  year  after  graduation  in  Europe — for  the  most 
part  in  Paris.  I  despatched  Jack  several  cards  in 
order  to  put  him  on  a  false  scent. 

On  resuming  residence  in  New  York,  I  had  to 
make  the  best  of  its  Overworld.  I  ascertained  that 
they  are  incredibly  bigoted  as  compared  with  the 
liberalism  of  continental  Europe.  Only  a  person  who 
has  resided  there  has  acquired  the  acuteness  of  vision 
to  discern  the  legend  on  the  hatbands  of  upper-class 
New  Yorkers :    "I  am  holier  than  thou !" 

I  had  heard  that  the  Rialto  is  New  York's  stamp- 
ing-ground for  amateur  female-impersonators.  Ac- 
cordingly I  commenced  devoting  one  or  two  evenings  a 
week  to  its  resorts.  As.  soon  as  I  learned  that  "the 
Hall"  is  the  home  of  cultured  female-impersonation, 
I  made  it  my  own  headquarters. 


182  Frank — Eunice. 


IV.    The  Masked  Ball. 

You  inquire,  Ralph-Jennie,  if  I  have  been  black- 
mailed during  my  business  career.  I  confess  I  have 
been  more  negligent  than  most  cultured  women-men, 
and  as  a  punishment,  have  suffered  more  blackmail. 
I  have  insanely  betrayed  my  secret  to  several  dishonest 
young  bloods  who  knew  who  I  am  and  therefore  forced 
large  sums  out  of  me.  I  shall  describe  the  most  re- 
markable case. 

But  first,  why  have  I  been  the  victim  of  black- 
mail? Because  my  strongest  passion  is  to  get  into 
feminine  finery  now  and  then  and  play  the  coquette. 
I  also  occasionally  yield  to  instinct  in  the  way  Nature 
ordained  for  me.  But  in  all  this  I  transgress  not  in 
the  least  against  God  or  man.  Of  course  I  have  of- 
fended against  laws  that  are  a  legacy  from  the  Dark 
Ages. 

No  man  should  cast  a  stone  at  me  who  indulges 
in  marital  joys  more  than  once  a  week.  For  since  my 
Pug  Heaven  apprenticeship,  I  have  not  myself  aver- 
aged once  a  week.  True  I  have  changed  partners 
about  thirty  times.  But  if  circumstances  had  rendered 
it  possible,  I  would  have  been  satisfied  with  a  solitary 
permanent  one.  But  in  the  case  of  women-men,  there 
do  not  exist  the  reasons  for  monandry  and  the  per- 
manency of  the  bond. 

But  while  I  have  been  guilty  of  nothing  to  be 
ashamed  of  in  the  eyes  of  the  All-Wise,  I  have — owing 
to  irrational  laws,  fear  of  imprisonment,  and  particu- 


Androgynes'  Families  Unsuspicious.  183 

larly  of  bringing  bitter  disgrace  and  sorrow  on  my 
family — suffered  myself  to  be  bled  unmercifully. 

Ever  since  resuming  residence  in  New  York,  I 
have  taken  advantage  of  all  the  public  masked  balls 
to  gratify  my  instinct  to  pose  as  a  belle.  Even  those 
under  the  humble  auspices  of  the  Draymen's  Union, 
the  "Tonsorial  Artists,"  and  the  "Societe  Universelle 
des  Cuisiniers." 

A  particularly  great  event  has  been  the  annual 
Masked  Ball  of  the  Philhedonic  Society.  Every  pair 
of  trousers  may  attend  which  can  scrape  together 
$10  for  self  and  "lady."  The  patrons  range  from 
scions  of  the  aristocracy  out  for  a  lark,  to  crooks  bent 
on  thievery.  For  conditions  at  the  Philhedonic  Ball 
are  ideal  for  the  light-fingered  fraternity,  particularly 
because  every  patron  is  in  disguise,  with  a  mask  cover- 
ing at  least  the  upper  third  of  the  face,  and  the  million- 
aire and  the  thief  dance  and  flirt  together. 

Our  families  have,  of  course,  no  suspicion  that  we 
hermaphroditoi  are  only  pseudo-men.  While  marvel- 
ling because  we  have  never  courted  a  girl,  they  have 
not  been  so  far  enlightened  as  to  discern  what  that 
signifies.  That  they  may  always  remain  in  their  ignor- 
ance, we  hermaphroditoi — as  you  are  aware — set  out 
from  our  respective  domiciles  for  a  public  Masked  Ball 
in  masculine  attire.  Later,  with  hired  masculine  es- 
cort, we  depart  from  [Paresis]  Hall  bewigged,  bepad- 
ded,  bepowdered,  bejewelled,  and  begowned  to  shine 

as  belles  on  the  bewaxed  floor  of  X Garden.    After 

arrival  there,  we  associate,  without  waiting  for  an  in- 
troduction, with  whatever  pair  of  trousers — that  is, 
presumably — appears  fair  to  look  upon.  We  hermaph- 
roditoi do  our  best  to  converse  like  real  belles.    An  ac- 


184  America's  Most  Impious. 

cidentrl  gruff  note  does  sometimes  betray  us.  But 
usually  the  gallant  comprehends,  sympathizes,  and 
merely  laughs  at  a  good  joke  on  himself. 

The  Philhedonic  Ball  is  the  spectacle  of  a  lifetime. 
I  do  not  approve  all  that  transpires.  The  two  large 
orchestras,  playing  alternately,  pour  forth  continuously 
into  the  inebriated  ears  of  the  three  thousand  revellers 
the  thrilling  music  of  the  most  voluptuous  dances, 
rightly  tabooed  by  all  decent  society.  The  revellers  are 
as  impious  a  crowd  as  ever  gathers  in  America.  I 
would  approve  the  police's  radically  restricting  the 
present  license.  I  am  sure  we  hermaphroditoi  are  not 
among  those  who  give  the  ball  a  bad  name. 

Some  of  the  costumes  have  been  ordered  from 
Paris  and  London.  Many  have  already  graced  the 
Mardi  Gras  of  New  Orleans  or  Nice.  Practically 
every  romantic  or  grotesque  character  ever  heard  of 
is  on  the  floor:  monkeys,  parrots,  geese,  yellow  kids, 
foxy  grandpa,  Happy  Hooligan,  Cupid,  Mephistophe- 
les,  and  a  thousand  others. 

At  a  Philhedonic  Ball  of  about  ten  years  ago — at 
which  the  most  remarkable  blackmail  episode  of  my 
life  had  its  origin — I  impersonated  Euterpe.  Down  to 
my  debacle,  money  fortunately  came  easy  with  me.  I 
therefore  endeavored  to  adorn  every  Masked  Ball  with 
the  most  elaborate  feminine  costume  on  display  there. 
My  Euterpe  gown,  terminating  at  the  knees,  was  of 
turquoise  satin.  It  was  ornamented  with  several 
flounces  of  miniature  sleigh  bells  washed  in  gold. 
Whenever  I  moved,  they  emitted  a  melodious  jingle. 
My  silk,  open-work  stockings  were  of  an  azure  hue, 
and  the  pumps  of  purple  kid,  with  mother-of-pearl 
buckles.     My  chevelure  was  surmounted  with  a  gold- 


The  Belle  of  the  Ball.  185 

plated  lyre,  studded  with  hundreds  of  Paris  diamonds, 
which,  under  the  myriad  gas  flames,  scintillated 
dazzlingly.  I  had  had  my  beardal  hair  eradicated  so 
that  I  could  glory  in  a  countenance  of  an  infantile  soft- 
ness and  an  exquisite  glabrity. 

Until  about  three,  everything  transpired  after  a 
beauteous  fashion.  My  unrivalled  costume  had 
attracted  a  score  of  flirts,  begging  a  dance  with  me. 
I  finally  fell  to  chattering  with  an  individual  in  a  bear- 
skin. He  soon  declared  his  conviction  that  I  was 
merely  a  female-impersonator.  But  by  exception  he 
manifested  irritation  at  being  hoodwinked,  and  nausea 
at  the  very  idea  of  cross-dressing.  A  panic  supervened 
upon  his  strident  tones.  I  was  overwhelmed  with 
mortification  and  trepidation  on  discovering  myself  in 
the  clutches  of  what  I  supposed  one  of  those  charlatans 
who  attend  the  function  in  order  to  unearth  a 
moneyed  female-impersonator  of  some  prominence 
with  chantage  as  objective.  I  lost  all  heart  for  mim- 
icking a  belle.  Most  terrible  of  all,  the  fellow  next 
denuded  my  face  of  the  mask.  Horrified  lest  my 
identity  be  disclosed,  I  pressed  the  lacerated  fabric  to 
my  countenance  and  proceeded  toward  the  dressing- 
room. 

In  the  corridor,  the  fellow  blurted  out :  "I  think  I 
know  you.  Those  eyes  of  yourn — how  far  apart  they 
are!  They  give  you  a  queer  look  that  no  guy  kin  for- 
git  who  has  seen  you  several  times.  Any  bloke'd  re- 
cognize you  anywhere,  even  with  a  girl's  wig  on.  I 
have  often  passed  you  down  on  Wall  Street." 

Though  actually  employed  a  stone's  throw  from 
that  street  and  promenading  it  almost  every  lunch 
hour,  I  responded  almost  inaudibly,  I  was  in  a  state  of 


186  Tony  Neddo. 

such  trepidation :  "You  are  in  error.  I  am  employed 
on  42d  Street." 

"Don't  think  I'm  a  fool!  I'm  so  sure  of  meself 
that  I'm  goin'  to  hang  'round  Wall  Street  till  I  run 
into  you  agin .  And  I'm  sure  comin'  up  to  say 
'Hoddo!'  Sure  I  remember  your  sissie  stride 
and,  most  of  all,  the  way  you  stare  at  young 
fellers  as  if  you  were  goin'  to  eat  them  up !  I  work 
on  that  street  meself;  elevator  man  in  the  Z — 
Buildin'.  Me  name  is  Tony  Neddo.  I'm  not  ashamed 
to  let  any  one  know  who  I  am!  But  you!  Do  you 
know  you've  done  an  awful  dirty,  disgustin'  thin'  in 
comin'  to  the  ball  in  a  girl's  rig?  For  this  you'll  have 
to  pay  dear!  But  if  you  know  on  which  side  your 
bread  is  buttered,  no  guy  '11  ever  be  the  wiser  on  ac- 
count of  what  I've  just  found  out. 

"But  get  rid  of  your  tremblin'  !  You  needn't  be 
'fraid  of  me.  I  ain't  the  mean  guy  you  think.  When 
you  meet  me  in  my  every-day  clothes,  you  kin  see  for 
yourself.  You'll  see  I'm  a  young  feller  of  strong,  pure 
manhood.  You'll  see  I've  the  build  of  a  pugilist.  Who- 
ever you  are,  Mr.  Skirt,  I  know,  from  the  diamonds  in 
your  harp,  you're  rich!  On  the  other  hand,  I  know  I 
kin  do  for  you  far  more  than  you  kin  for  me.  Any 
how,  let's  you  and  me  be  best  friends?  We'll  part  now, 
but  you'll  sure  see  me  comin'  up  to  you  on  Wall  Street 
soon.    Bye-bye,  sweetheart!" 

O  Ralph-Jennie,  the  fellow  was  really  cute  as  he 
took  his  departure.  He  captivated  me  by  his  good- 
humored  farewell.  It  dissipated  all  my  depression. 
While  I  realized  he  would  descend  to  chantage,  I  al- 
ready perceived  he  possessed  innumerable  compensat- 
ing characteristics.     Every  individual  is  derelict  in 


Infatuation.  187 

some  respect.  Tony  had  never  been  enlightened  on 
the  immorality  of  chantage.  So  I  hardly  devoted  a 
second  thought  to  his  cupidity.  At  the  time  I  possessed 
no  "best  friend" — no  "adopted  son",  as  we  older 
hermaphroditoi  designate  our  sweethearts.  I  im- 
mediately commenced  to  gloat  over  Tony  as  my  con- 
quest— my  boy!  How  proud  I  already  was  of  him, 
although  not  yet  having  visioned  his  countenance! 
But  he  had  strutted  away  in  such  a  manly  fashion  and 
possessed  such  a  deep  bass,  ultra-masculine  voice!  I 
could  perceive  he  was  athletic  and  a  little  larger  than 
the  average  man.  And  I  was  particularly  obsessed 
with  his  blatant,  nonchalant  description  of  himself : 
"Strong,  pure  manhood" ! 

Henceforth  my  stream  of  thought  was  surfeited 
with  visions  of  conversing  with  him  again.  But  the 
opportunity  did  not  supervene  until  two  awfully  long 
hours  -in  the  closing  half -hour  of  the  ball.  The  floor 
was  ankle-deep  with  confetti,  rendering  further  danc- 
ing impracticable.  A  goodly  proportion  of  the  revellers 
were  anyway  too  tipsy  or  too  fatigued  to  be  on  their 
feet.  The  hundreds  promenading  the  arena,  besides 
the  couple  of  thousand  in  the  boxes  and  balconies, 
were  sprinkled  with  red,  white,  and  blue  confetti  and 
wound  round  and  round  with  paper  streamers  of  all 
colors.  A  steadily  flowing  river  of  humanity  was  dis- 
charging into  the  street.  I  would  myself  have  already 
taken  my  departure,  but  had  devoted  the  last  half- 
hour  to  dragging  myself  wearily  to  every  nook  and 
corner  in  search  of  my  bear. 

Finally,  in  the  main  corridor,  a  handsome  adoles- 
cent stepped  smilingly  out  of  the  stream  of  humanity 


188  Chantage. 

slowly  moving  streetward :  "Are  you  looking  for  me, 
sweetheart?    I  am  Tony  Neddo." 

He  dared  excuse  himself,  for  a  moment  or  two, 
from  his  "lady" — considering  to  what  class  she  be- 
longed! We  withdrew  out  of  her  hearing.  I  was 
tickled  to  death  on  now  beholding  what  I  had  drawn  in 
the  lottery.  I  had  known  the  fellow  was  ultra- 
masculine.  But  not  until  that  moment  did  I  discover 
that  he  was  handsome  into  the  bargain.  Indeed  he 
was  indisputably  the  best  looker  of  the  hundreds  of 
young  fellows  who,  with  their  "ladies,"  streamed  by 
as  we  whispered  together. 

"How  old  are  you  ?"    I  began. 

"Nineteen  is  all." 

"Eleven  years  younger  than  myself.  Just  my 
ideal  age  for  a  young  man  to  be  adopted  as  my  son. 
Tell  me  frankly:  Did  anybody  ever  tell  you  that  you 
are  unusually  good-looking?" 

"That's  not  for  me  to  say.  But  you  yourself  see 
me  now  when  I  have  my  own  clothes  on.  I  don't  look 
as  if  I  belonged  to  the  weak,  crippled  sex — as  you  do 
yourself — do  I?  I  look  to  be  a  he-man,  don't  I? 
While  you  are  one  of  those  awful  she-men !  Mr. 
Skirt,  just  think  of  your  own  shameful,  disgustin' 
nature !  Your  secret  and  character  have  come  into  me 
power.  And  it  wouldn't  do  you  any  good  to  hit  back. 
I  have  nothin'  at  all  to  lose. 

"But  I'm  only  talkin'  business  now.  Every  bloke 
puts  his  foot  into  it  now  and  again.  And  I  did  at  our 
first  meetin'.  Because  I  was  then  just  crazy  for 
money.  That's  all.  But  it  only  looks  as  if  I'm  after 
your  money.  What  I  really  and  truly  want  is  the 
chance  to  make  your  life  happy.      I  want  to  be  your 


Boon  of  an  "Adopted  Son."  189 

best  friend.  Just  let  me  see  what  you  would  do  for  a 
young  feller  who  would  give  himself  to  you,  body  and 
soul.  No  one  is  poorer  than  me  these  days.  All  I 
got  is  the  suit  on  me  back.  I  only  rented  that  bear 
rig  for  the  evenin V 

"Well,  Tony,  how  much  would  you  expect?" 

"Two  hundred  bucks  a  month." 

I  argued  for  one  hundred — all  that  at  the  time  I 
cared  to  part  with,  although  my  infatuation  soon  after 
augmented  so  that  I  voluntarily  presented  him  three 
times  my  first  offer.  But  on  this  first  night  I  repeat- 
edly assured  him  coaxingly,  though  sincerely,  that  he 
was  just  the  type  of  young  fellow  that  appealed  to  me. 
Over  and  over  again  he  replied :  "I  wouldn't  sell  me 
goodwill  so  cheap !  All  your  fine  talk,  Mr.  Skirt, 
doesn't  get  us  anywhere.  It  doesn't  have  the  least 
effect  on  me.  Only  money  talks.  If  you'll  part  with 
two  hundred  bucks,  I'll  know  you  think  that  much  of 
me.  Besides,  if  we  don't  fix  up  matters  now,  don't 
ever  show  your  face  again  on  Wall  Street !" 

But  when  he  had  bluffed  to  his  limit,  he  accepted 
my  first  offer.  And  I  didn't  mind  the  promise  of 
that  stipend  to  him — so  winsome  and  handsome  and 
assuring  me  he  would  be  my  soul-mate. 

Because  his  "lady"  was  dancing  attendance,  our 
conversation  had  to  be  broken  off  before  the  end  of 
five  minutes.  In  parting,  I  said:  "The  more  I  have 
heard  you  converse,  the  better  I  like  you,  Tony.  You 
are  a  pretty  smart  boy.  I  would  be  glad  to  give  you 
an  education,  so  that  you  can  rise  to  my  own  social 
level  instead  of  continuing  in  the  servant  class.  We 
shall  not  regard  our  agreement  as  blackmail.  Instead 
I  now  adopt  you  as  my  sole  well-beloved  son.      I  will 


190  Now  Man;    Now  Woman. 

even  be  your  slave.  We  shall  enjoy  together  all  the 
good  things  of  life.  But,  remember,  you  must  never 
do  anything  to  betray  my  character  and  our  relations 
to  anybody.  And,  Tony,  always  call  me  'Frank.' 
I  would  prefer  that  in  private  you  called  me  'Eunice,' 
but  if  you  acquired  the  habit,  you  would  sometimes 
make  a  break  before  people." 


Frank — Eunice.  191 


V.     Frank-Eunice's  Indiscretion. 

Would  you  like,  Ralph-Jennie,  to  be  enlightened 
as  to  how  I  came  to  reside,  five  years  of  my  prime, 
within  prison  walls?  You  have  censured  me  for 
black-guarding  the  Church  and  religious  people.  But 
do  you  marvel  thereat  after  I  disclose  that  it  was  they 
who  were  instrumental  in  robbing  me  of  five  years  of 
man's  all  too  brief  sojourn  on  earth?  In  my  youth,  I 
was  naturally  religious.  While  no  longer  a  church 
member,  not  a  Sunday  passes  but  I  attend  morning 
service.  I  continue  to  be  a  disciple  of  Christ  in  my 
own  way,  and  estimate  church  attendance  as  one  of 
the  greatest  privileges  of  existence.  But  religious 
people,  the  Church,  and  the  Bible  have  occasioned  me 
such  terrible  persecution  that  I  can  no  longer  do  aught 
than  revile  them  for  their  hypocrisy.  And  the  aver- 
age preacher,  while  meaning  well,  is  so  bigoted !  Only 
recently  I  heard  one  declaim  about  the  deluge:  "God 
then  drowned  humanity  as  rats  with  the  exception  of 
Noah's  family  because  MONSTERS  were  being  born 
in  considerable  numbers."  He  claimed  that  "monsters" 
is  the  correct  translation  for  "giants"  of  King  James' 
version.  And  he  made  evident  that  he  understood  by 
"monsters"  us  bisexuals.  Must  we  poor  sexual 
cripples  bear  the  blame  not  alone  for  the  decline  and 
fall  of  nations,  but  also  for  the  Noachian  deluge? 

You  ask,  Ralph-Jennie,  my  philosophy  of  life. 
First :  To  brighten  the  lives  of  unfortunates.  Second- 
ly: To  get  out  of  existence  all  the  good  times  one  can 
without  transgressing  against  any  one  else.      We  are 


192  Making  a  Misanthrope. 

certain  of  nothing  in  this  life  except  the  passing 
moment.  I  even  do  not  know  that  you  exist,  Ralph, 
otherwise  than  as  a  percept  in  my  stream  of  thought. 
My  incarceration  supervened,  but  not  immediate- 
ly, upon  my  reception  of  Tony  Neddo  as  adopted  son. 
Nature  created  me  impotent.  I  could  never 
possess  wife  and  children.  And  for  the  reason  that 
I  accepted  the  only  alternative  of  an  adopted  son, 
society  incarcerated  me!  Ralph,  do  you  call  that 
Christianity  and  enlightenment?  You,  Ralph,  recog- 
nizing that  I  am  a  congenital  goody-goody,  are  in  con- 
dition to  accept  my  declaration  that  I  have  never  in 
all  my  earthly  pilgrimage  transgressed  against  a  sol- 
itary individual.  In  addition,  Mother  Nature  endowed 
me  with  such  cerebral  capacity  that  at  the  univer- 
sity I  was  one  of  the  leaders  in  scholarship.  Never- 
theless policemen  and  jailers — who  of  course  are  not 
responsible  for  their  meager  education  in  the  rural 
districts  of  Ireland,  where  they  were  instructed  merely 
to  spell  out  the  primer  and  scrawl  their  own  names — 
have  tyrannized  over  me,  handcuffed  me,  and  compelled 
me,  when  absolutely  guiltless  of  any  offence  against 
the  Deity  or  society,  though  having  transgressed 
against  mediaeval  jurisprudence,  to  accompany  them 
whither  I  strenuously  did  not  desire,  and  to  perform 
hard  labor  for  years  without  remuneration,  and  to 
abide  in  a  cell,  amid  vermin,  and  subsist  on  disgusting 
nourishment!  Do  you  marvel  that  such  impositions, 
continued  for  years,  have  rendered  me  a  misanthrope? 
For  while  I  sympathize  with  and  alleviate  the  suffer- 
ings of  humanity  up  to  my  capacity,  I  experience  only 
detestation  for  hypocritical  humanity  surfeited  with 
exuberant  health  and  in  influential  positions. 


Androgynes  Nabobize  Menials.  193 

After  the  Masked  Ball  of  ten  years  ago,  Tony 
Neddo  continued,  for  a  longer  period  than  any  other 
young  fellow,  to  be  my  adopted  son  and  soul-mate. 
With  the  exception  of  his  initial  roguery,  he  rang  true. 
Of  course  the  consideration  that  I  loaded  him  with 
benefits  exercised  an  enormous  influence.  He  real- 
ized that  solely  by  cultivating  my  affection,  he  could 
play  a  good  thing  for  all  it  was  worth.  My  ambition 
to  educate  him  for  a  profession  was  doomed  to  dis- 
appointment. While  sufficiently  intelligent  in  practi- 
cal affairs,  he  lacked  the  gray  matter  for  acquiring 
book  knowledge. 

The  immediate  reason  for  my  incarceration  was 
merely  an  indiscretion.  I  had  resided  two  years  on  the 
continent  of  Europe,  where  every  individual  compre- 
hends bisexuality  and  nobody  oppresses  those  so  un- 
fortunate as  to  be  afflicted  therewith.  That  tolerance 
unfitted  me  for  residence  in  the  United  States,  where 
the  words  "sex"  and  "sin"  are  synonyms.  I  errone- 
ously opined  I  could  be  as  overt  in  New  York  as  in 
Paris. 

Therefore,  while  continuing  to  reside  with  my 
aged  parents,  I,  soon  after  adopting  Tony  (not  legally 
of  course)  leased  for  him  a  furnished  apartment  at 
a  high-class  residential  hotel.  Two  successive  hostel- 
ries  finally  refused  to  rent  further  to  Tony  and  me. 
In  the  third  year,  we  were  in  our  third  caravansary. 
But  its  personnel  proved  of  unexampled  bigotry — 
because  the  manager  was  a  narrowminded  Methodist. 
He  opined  that  simply  expelling  Tony  and  myself 
ignominiously  was  not  sufficient.  He  was  busybody 
to  the  extent  of  praying  for  my  incarceration.  There- 
fore  he    engaged    an    unusually    handsome    youthful 


194  Immorality  a  Novelty  in  New  York. 

detective  to  enmesh  me.  Attired  as  a  Beau  Brummel, 
the  sneak  first  scraped  acquaintance  and  then  insinu- 
ated himself  into  my  confidence.  Soon  he  succeeded 
in  seducing  me  where  it  was  possible  for  a  confederate 
to  employ  a  camera  without  my  suspecting  anything. 
It  was  on  the  basis  of  that  photograph  that  I  was 
sentenced.  My  accomplice,  who  had  been  the  sole 
occasion  of  the  so-called  felony,  and  who  alone  had 
proceeded  deliberately  and  wilfully,  received  merely 
the  thanks  of  the  court  and  of  society. 

You  inquire  about  the  element  of  suffering  during 
my  incarceration.  The  first  week  in  the  Tombs  jail, 
I  lay  awake  half  of  every  night  in  mental  anguish,  for 
I  realized  I  was  a  martyr.  Every  one  was  accusing 
me  of  deepdyed  depravity  when  my  life  was  actually 
on  a  high  ethical  plane.  All  the  journals  announced 
in  big  headlines  that  I  had  been  surprised  in  a  double 
life — intimating  wilful  immorality.  "Immorality"! 
"Immorality" !  That  was  the  keynote  of  all  news- 
paper accounts  of  myself,  as  if  hitherto  "immorality" 
had  been  an  unknown  quantity  with  Knickerbockers. 
People  could  not  get  through  singing  the  refrain  :  "At 
last  a  New  Yorker  has  been  discovered  who  is  infected 
with  immorality !! !"  The  journals  stated  that  I  had 
been  incarcerated  in  the  Tombs  to  await  trial,  the  evi- 
dence against  me  being  so  incontrovertible  and  the 
felony  charged  so  revolting  that  bail  had  been  refused. 
At  the  time  I  was  unenlightened  as  to  what  that 
evidence  was  and  a  thousand  possibilities  coursed 
through  my  stream  of  thought,  none  of  which,  how- 
ever, emerged  in  my  subsequent  trial. 

I  was  terribly  browbeaten  by  the  plebeian  police. 
They  resorted  to  subterfuge  and  endeavored  by  every 


Intellectual  Aristocrat  Browbeaten  by  Plebeians.  195 

means  to  betray  me  into  confession  of  the  secrets  of 
my  heart  that  they  suspected.  They  adopted  insulting 
language.  They  inquired  point-blank  over  and  over 
again  in  the  common  indecent  expressions  whether  I 
had  not  with  such  and  such  persons  (particularly 
Tony)  been  guilty  of  what  jurists  denominate  ridicu- 
lously, though  solemnly  and  with  bated  breath,  "the 
crime  against  Nature,"  when  in  fact  nothing  is  more 
natural  than  the  conduct  in  question.  It  is  exclusively 
Nature's  feat.  But  I  scrupulously  guarded  myself 
from  making  a  single  incriminating  statement.  I 
refused  in  any  way  to  admit  being  a  bisexual — because 
all  my  inquisitors  presented  evidence  that  they  consid- 
ered that  condition  the  most  horrible  of  crimes. 

This  was  before  I  ascertained  the  existence  of 
the  photograph  and  I  fully  expected  to  elude  incarcer- 
ation. And  the  result  proved  that  they  were  impotent 
to  lay  their  hands  on  any  other  legal  evidence  beyond 
the  detective's  statements. 

That  first  week  in  the  Tombs  I  would  have  com- 
mitted suicide  if  I  had  been  vouchsafed  an  instrument. 
For  I  was  continuously  immersed  in  the  deepest 
melancholia.  But  the  jailers  were  careful  to  deprive 
me  of  my  pocket-knife  and  everything  else  by  which 
it  was  possible  to  do  myself  harm.  Even  while  at 
meals,  I  was  continuously  observed  lest  I  utilize  the 
table  knife  on  my  body. 

"Who  ne'er  his  bread  in  sorrow  ate, 
He  knows  you  not,  ye  heavenly  powers!" 

Before  I  experienced  it,  I  did  not  believe  an 
individual   could   survive   years   of   such    depression. 


196  Absurd  Legal  Superstitions. 

But,  as  you  see,  Ralph,  it  turned  my  hair  white.  For- 
tunately it  has  not  rendered  me  bald  or  wrinkled. 

And  the  judge's  charge  was  so  absurd:  "The 
crime  of  which  you,  Frank  White,  have  been  convicted, 
is  of  such  a  disgusting  character  that  it  can  not  even  be 
defined!" 

To  think  of  relegating  an  individual  to  state's 
prison  on  a  charge  that  no  one  comprehended ;  that  no 
one  had  ever  been  permitted  even  to  investigate — 
•  because  the  subject  is  beyond  investigation,  no  intel- 
lectual even  being  willing  to  define  it ! 

The  judge  said:  "It  is  as  heinous  as  murder, 
because  it  strikes  at  the  very  existence  of  the  race! 
No  one  but  a  criminal  of  the  deepest  dye  could  descend 
to  it !      Frank  White,  you  have  been  convicted  of  the 

awful    felony    of    race    suicide!" Unreason    and 

prejudice!  There  was  hardly  an  individual  within 
the  hearing  of  the  judge  who  had  not  been  guilty  of 
race  suicide,  though  in  a  different  way  from  my  own ! 
And  they  for  the  most  part  deliberately,  whereas  I 
was  compelled  by  Mother  Nature.  They  imprisoned 
me  for  what  they  conceded  to  themselves:  Following 
Nature's  behests  other  than  solely  for  the  perpetuation 
of  the  race! 

And  then  the  day  following  my  sentence,  in  the 
yard  of  the  Tombs  jail,  being  thrust  into  an  iron- 
barred  bus  along  with  a  score  of  hardened  male  crim- 
inals— just  as  if  I  were  myself  a  male! — to  be  driven 
to  the  Grand  Central  to  board  a  train  for  Sing  Sing. 
I,  the  goody-goody  girlboy,  having  evolved  into  a  felon  ! 

But  my  prosecution  by  self-righteous  Christians 
for  what  were  really  offences  against  no  one — simply 
to    satiate    these    Christians'    thirst    for    tormenting 


Publicity  Would  Remove  a  World  of  Woe.       197 

people  whose  views  differed  from  their  own — had  more 
serious  results  than  my  five  years  in  prison.  My  life 
has  been  a  wreck  ever  since.  My  having  been  incar- 
cerated on  a  conviction  so  utterly  loathsome  to  the 
ordinary  mind — because  it  has  never  been  permitted 
access  to  the  truth  of  the  matter  and  is  governed 
solely  by  mediaeval  bias — completely  alienated  every 
member  of  my  family,  who  now  regarded  me  as  dead, 
and  disinherited  me  on  the  ground  of  deepdyed  hy- 
pocrisy and  degeneracy.  If  we  encountered  one  an- 
other on  the  street,  they  would  not  speak. 

When  liberated  from  Sing  Sing,  I  was  compelled 
to  adopt  a  new  appellation  and  strike  out  into  a  new 
field  of  labor,  where  it  has  been  possible  only  with 
difficulty  to  make  ends  meet. 

As  for  Tony,  he  escaped  to  parts  unknown  immedi- 
ately following  my  arrest.  My  deprivation  of  his 
friendship  was  the  severest  blow  of  all,  for  he  had 
shown  himself  so  devoted — but  only,  as  results  dem- 
onstrated, because  of  the  fortune  he  derived  from  me. 
He  merely  left  a  memo  declaring  he  would  write  me 
some  day,  but  never  effectuated  his  promise. 

If  only  the  Javerts  who  prosecute  Nature's  step- 
children realized  the  world  of  woe  they  thereby 
occasion  these  most  unfortunate  of  mankind,  they 
would  reflect  twice  before  inaugurating  the  prose- 
cution. But  society  prohibits  the  reasons  for  the 
conduct  of  bisexuals  becoming  known.  Which  know- 
ledge would  prove  a  death  blow  to  such  prosecution. 


^ngeio — ^P%Uts 

I.     Angelo  Angevine's  Debut  as  Public  Female- 
Impersonator. 

That  fancy  masculine  name  was  only  an  alias, 
androgynes  having  a  penchant  for  such  as  are  musical 
and  of  exalted  connotation.  Further,  its  first  element 
was  after  Michelangelo,  an  arch-bisexualist. 

In  1895,  Angelo-Phyllis  divulged  what  I  have  here 
recorded  as  nearly  as  I  can  remember.  As  I  said  in 
the  first  chapter  of  this  book,  I  remember  only  the 
general  outlines  of  the  originals  of  the  monologues  I 
give.  But  I  have  listened  to  numerous  confessions  of 
the  sort  of  which  I  now  present  a  sample.  Where 
definite  memory  fails  me,  I  have  had  recourse  to  my 
sea  of  general  memories  of  the  way  the  hermaphroditoi 
talked,  how  they  looked  upon  life,  what  they  did,  and 
what  befell  them.  I  aim  at  a  fairly  full,  but  essentially 
true,  portrayal  of  the  inner  history  and  life  experience 
of  cultured  female-impersonators  who  were  my  bosom- 
friends  during  my  own  heyday  in  that  avocation  in  the 
Rialto.  In  order  to  economize  the  reader's  attention, 
I  present  all  of  Angelo-Phyllis's  life  story  as  if  con- 
fessed to  me  at  one  sitting. 

In  referring  to  Frank  White  it  seems  more 
natural  to  use  the  masculine  alias  and  pronoun,  but 

[198] 


Cross-Dressing.  199 

the  feminine  with  Phyllis.  For  the  latter  was  con- 
spicuously womanish :  beardal  growth  sparse  and  al- 
ways clean-shaven,  if  not  eradicated ;  breasts  as  large 
as  in  some  women;  hips  very  broad;  spine  dispropor- 
tionately long  and  legs  correspondingly  short.  "His- 
her"  body  approached  the  feminine  to  a  higher  degree 
than  that  of  any  other  androgyne  I  ever  set  eyes  on 
with  the  possible  exception  of  myself.  Phyllis  sur- 
passed me  in  meagreness  of  beardal  growth,  sissie 
voice,  feminine  strut  and  gestures,  and  craze  and  taste 
for  feminine  finery.  As  a  cross-dresser  and  female- 
impersonator,  the  bisexual  now  to  be  portrayed  was 
one  of  the  two  or  three  extreme  hermaphroditoi,  while 
ranking  low  in  erotic  furor. 

[In  a  physical  male,  cross-dressing  is  the  instinc- 
tive wearing  of  feminine  apparel,  or,  in  default,  of 
the  loudest  and  fanciest  male  styles.  In  a  physical 
female,  it  is  similar  adoption  of  masculine  habiliments, 
or  in  default,  of  feminine  attire  and  aspect  approach- 
ing the  masculine  as  nearly  as  possible:  hair  bobbed, 
stiff  linen  collar,  a  man's  neck  scarf,  and  always 
severely  plain  tailor-made  waist  and  skirt.  The  reader 
will  recall  such  photographs  of  brilliantly  intellectual 
women,  particularly  authoresses.  Cross-dressing  is 
generally  an  earmark  of  sexual  intermediacy.  It  is 
not  at  all  due — as  bigots  claim — to  moral  depravity, 
but  entirely  to  irreproachable  instinct.  It  is  not  at 
all  due  to  childhood's  training,  such  as  the  stories  of 
parents'  bringing  up  their  boy  or  girl  as  a  girl  or  a  boy 
when  they  particularly  wished  a  female  or  a  male  heir. 
Such  child,  as  soon  as  he  or  she  became  old  enough, 
would  wholeheartedly  rebel  against  such  a  travesty. 
In  nearly  every  case,  cross-dressing  is  due  to  the  fact 


200  Phyllis's  Antecedents. 

that  Nature  injected  a  psyche  of  the  one  sex  into  a 
corpus  of  the  other.  The  cross-dresser  is  not  usually 
conscious  of  the  oddity  of  taste  for  apparel.  His  or 
her  -manner  of  dressing  indicates  what  he  or  she 
considers  artistic.  All  ultra-androgynes — such  as 
made  up  the  membership  of  the  Cercle  Hermaphrodi- 
tos — would  always,  if  society  permitted,  clothe  them- 
selves as  women.] 

In  1895,  Angelo-Phyllis  was  a  plump  little  body 
looking  to  be  a  decade  younger  than  "his-her"  thirty- 
three,  and  of  decidedly  brunette,  Mediterranean  type. 

Ralphie,  mon  cheri,  the  sexual  cripple  now  speak- 
ing was  born  in  1862  and  brought  up  in  a  town  of 
50,000  within  300  miles  of  New  York  City.  I  did  not 
move  here  until  twenty.  As  soon  as  I  became  finan- 
cially independent  of  father,  I  chose  New  York  as  the 
stage  for  my  career  because  only  in  a  great  city  can 
an  instinctive  female-impersonator  give  his  over- 
whelming yearnings  free  rein  incognito  and  thus  keep 
the  respect  of  his  every-day  circle. 

Father  was  one  of  the  leading  lawyers  in  my  home 
town  and  wanted  me  in  his  office,  for  he  seemed  blind 
to  my  being  a  sissie.  But  just  because  of  this  fate,  I 
could  not  stand  living  in  my  home  town.  Further- 
more, I  had  no  taste  for  law,  and  pined  only  one 
year  in  father's  law  office  after  leaving  high-school. 
I  was  all  for  Art,  with  a  capital  A!  Art!  Art! 
Which  taste  turned  me  into  millinery  channels  as  soon 
as  I  began  life  in  New  York  in  1882. 

Excepting  the  years  that  George  Greenwood  was 
with  me  as  "adopted  son,"  I  have  in  New  York  lived 


Not  Willingly  Half-and-half.  201 

all  by  myself  in  a  5-room  apartment.  Thus  I  have 
been  able  to  transform  myself  into  a  young  woman  and 
set  out  for  a  female-impersonation  spree  without  any 
one  getting  wise. 

If  I  had  had  my  say  at  birth,  Ralphie,  my  lot 
would  have  been  that  of  a  full-fledged  woman,  or,  less 
to  be  wished,  a  virile  man.  Not  half-and-half.  But 
at  twenty  I  cut  out  the  foolishness  of  all  the  time 
shedding  tears  over  my  fate.  Those  tears  were  chief- 
ly due  to  the  world's  forbidding  a  bisexual's  living 
according  to  his-her  nature.  I  could  not  assume  the 
responsibilities  of  a  man  and  pay  court  to  women — 
an  ordeal  so  horrible,  but  expected  of  me  if  I  stayed 
in  my  home  town.  I  balked  at  having  my  life  forced 
into  a  masculine  groove.  In  New  York  one  can  live 
as  Nature  demands  without  setting  every  one's  tongue 
wagging. 

I  was  unconscious  ■  of  sex  until  my  fourteenth 
year.  Up  to  that  age,  I  went  to  pay  school.  My  dozen 
schoolmates — including  four  sisters — were  all  of  the 
goody-goody  type.     No  one  ever  tried  to  seduce  me. 

From  fourteen  to  eighteen  I  went  to  public  high- 
school.  Several  boys  hugged  and  kissed  me  now  and 
then.  While  I  liked  this,  I  shrunk  away  for  shame. 
Now  for  the  first  time  I  felt  sorry  I  was  a  boy.  I  stole 
a  sister's  discarded  garb,  from  corset  to  hat,  which  I 
kept  under  lock  and  key  in  my  room  and  put  on  now 
and  again  in  order  to  strut  before  a  full-length  mirror 
and  feast  my  eyes  on  myself  as  female-impersonator. 
Because  of  shame,  I  never  told  a  soul. 

So  counter  to  the  fate  of  most  hermaphroditoi,  I 
was  a  virgin  until  the  beginning  of  my  female-imper- 


202  Dressing  for  a  Spree. 

sonation  sprees.  Because  in  high-school,  morbid 
bashfulness  kept  me  from  becoming  well  acquainted 
with  a  single  boy.  Down  to  twenty  I  lived  as  sheltered 
a  life  as  any  girl.  I  had  really  never  been  under  any 
kind  of  temptation. 

Ralphie,  mon  cheri,  I  can  never  forget  the  entire 
day  spent  in  getting  together  my  woman's  wardrobe 
on  arrival  in  New  York.  I  went  to  a  ladies'  store  in 
the  Ghetto.  I  lacked  the  cheek  to  buy  feminine  finery 
uptown.  I  gave  the  Russian  Jewess  the  usual  hoax 
of  amateur  theatricals.  And  women  are  so  dense  as 
to  believe  it!  She  helped  hugely  to  the  end  of  my 
being  able  to  turn  myself  into  a  stunning  soubrette. 

An  evening  or  two  later,  in  my  flat,  I  dressed  for 
my  first  spree.  I  touched  up  eyebrows  with  a  stick 
of  charcoal  and  cheeks  with  rouge;  applied  padding 
where  needed,  laced  on  a  corset,  and  adjusted  a  sou- 
brette's  wig.  Lastly  I  put  on  my  art  gown,  pinned  on 
a  picture  hat,  threw  an  opera  cloak  about  me,  and  was 
ready  to  set  out. 

On  my  sprees  I  have  always  been  careful  to  avoid 
a  clue  to  my  identity.  No  one  would  have  ever  learned 
who  I  really  am  even  if  I  had  been  sent  to  Sing  Sing. 
Since  the  world  thinks  female-impersonation  utterly 
disgraceful,  I  had  to  spare  my  family  all  risk. 
Furthermore,  they  themselves  would  disown  me  if 
they  ever  learned  of  my  mania  for  cross-dressing  and 
female-impersonation. 

It  is  bitter  to  be  so  misjudged !  And  people  balk 
at  being  set  right!  While  I  get  much  joy  out  of  life, 
I  often  feel  crushed  to  earth  when  seeing  how  I  am 
scorned,  and  now  and  again  weep  a  full  hour.     When, 


The  Bowery  a  Magnet.  203 

in  the  pride  of  their  manly  vigor,  the  virile  throw  at 
me  a  glance  full  of  hatred  or  of  ridicule,  I  feel  like 
killing  myself! 

I  always  closed  my  hall-door  noiselessly  and  used 
the  stairs.  The  elevator  boy  might  have  recognized 
me  in  my  disguise.  If,  on  the  several  flights,  I  heard 
an  approaching  footstep,  I  would  slink  for  a  moment 
to  a  dark  corner  of  the  spacious  hall.  Reaching  the 
street,  I  had  my  regular  hiding  place  for  my  key  and 
a  yellow  back.  It  was  most  necessary  to  be  able  to 
let  myself  in  on  my  late  return,  when  the  street  door 
was  locked,  instead  of  ringing  up  the  janitor. 

On  my  first  spree,  Ralphie — as  on  all  for  several 
years — I  boarded  an  elevated  train  and  alighted  at  a 
Bowery  station.  Several  times  in  later  years,  I  spied 
acquaintances  of  my  every-day  world  either  on  the 
train  or  on  the  Bowery.  I  always  gave  them  a  wide 
berth,  although  having  a  great  advantage  in  means  of 
recognition. 

And  why,  on  my  very  first  spree,  did  I  seek  the 
Bowery,  Ralphie?  Because  only  a  few  weeks  before, 
in  my  home  town,  I  had  seen  a  comic  opera  staged  on 
that  avenue,  its  keynote  the  oft  repeated  refrain : 

"The  Bowery!     The  Bowery! 
There  they  say  such  things! 

And  they  do  such  things! 

The  Bowery!     The  Bowery! 

I'll  never  go  there  any  more!" 

So  I  was  dead  crazy  to  bring  to  pass  there  the  fe- 
male-impersonation sprees  of  which  I,  for  several 
years,  had  had  merely  waking  dreams  in  my  home 
town.    Such  realization  was  why  I  moved  to  New  York. 


204  The  Goody-Goody  Transformed. 

It  was,  mon  cheri,  all  because  I  wanted  to  live  within 
half-an-hour's  journey  of  the  enchanting  old  Bowery! 

On  my  first  spree,  I  made  my  way  up  and  down 
the  crowded  sidewalks  for  an  hour,  staring  with  all 
my  eyes  at  the  brilliantly  lighted  fronts  of  beer-gar- 
dens, the  many  gaudily  dressed  girls  strutting  up  and 
down  all  alone,  but,  most  of  all,  the  sporty-looking 
youthful  laboring  men  seeking  their  evening's  fun. 
How  longingly  and  beseechingly  I  gazed  into  the 
latter's  eyes!  A  hundred  times  I  had  accosting 
words  on  the  end  of  my  tongue.  I  but  barely  lacked 
the  brass  for  utterance,  notwithstanding  that  in  my 
every-day  life  I  had  always  been  morbidly  bashful. 
How  I  wished  I  were  acquainted  with  at  least  one  of 
these  powerfully  built — and,  to  me  at  least,  bewitch- 
ingly  handsome — foreign-looking  young  fellows! 

Who,  mon  cheri,  that  knew  me  as  a  goody-goody 
boy  in  my  home  town,  always  going  to  Bible  school 
twice  on  Lord's  day,  and  not  merely  once  as  nearly 
all  children  of  pious  parents,  would  have  foretold 
that  some  day  I  would  be  tapping  the  sidewalks  of 
America's  greatest  red-light  district  as  a  common 
strumpet?1 

Doctors  claim  to  understand  such  as  me  a  priori 
and  are  too  squeamish  to  investigate.  They  would  say 
I  am  insane.  I  have  never  shown  any  sign  of  a 
diseased  brain,  nor  has  there  been  any  taint  of  insanity 

1  In  the  year  of  writing  (1921)  sight-seeing  busses  feature 
the  Bowery  at  night.  Years  ago  that  formerly  quaintest  of 
New  York's  streets  lost  most  of  its  character  as  red-light  and 
amusement  center  for  New  York's  manual-laborer  foreign 
stock.  For  a  brief  history  of  New  York's  bright-light  districts 
since  1800,  see  the  author's  RIDDLE  OF  THE  UNDERWORLD, 
in  its  Table  of  Contents. 


The  "Rabbit:'  205 

in  my  family.  Ours,  mon  cheri,  is  simply  the  case 
of  half-and-half  as  to  sex.  The  only  taint  in  my 
family  is  that  father  is  somewhat  womanish :  falsetto 
voice,  sissie  mannerisms,  and  never  any  mind  for 
things  thoroughly  masculine.  He  ought  never  to  have 
married  to  perpetuate,  and  probably  strengthen,  his 
own  mild  sexual  intermediacy. 

As  I  walked  the  Bowery  on  that  first  spree,  I 
was  puzzling  my  mind  as  to  which  of  the  brightly 
lighted  dance-halls  or  the  dark  and  fearsome  dives — 
through  whose  doors  I  saw  pass  only  sailors,  gutter- 
snipes, and  slovenly  gangsters — would  be  the  best 
stage  for  my  virgin  effort  at  female-impersonation. 
At  last  I  slipped  into  the  least  prosperous-looking  and, 
to  the  stranger,  most  uninviting,  dance-hall,  the  no- 
torious "Rabbit."  And  why  the  "Rabbit"?  Because 
it  looked  to  be  the  most  crime-inviting  of  all  the 
dance-halls.  I  had  stood  and  watched  as  there  passed 
in  and  out  the  most  criminal-faced  of  the  Bowery  boys : 
coal-heavers,  dock-rats,  and  fierce-and-cruel-stalking 
gunmen — not  to  speak  of  the  poor,  deluded  "fallen 
angels." 

I  dropped  into  a  chair.  Almost  in  less  time  than  I 
can  tell  it,  four  youthful  coal-heavers  came  up  grin- 
ning :    "Hello  Bright  Eyes !" 

Those  three  words  were  the  most  soulful,  the  most 
infatuating,  that  had  ever  fallen  on  my  ears.  I  was 
also  delighted  because  so  lucky  as  to  take  in,  right  off, 
some  of  the  many  bewitching  Bowery  boys  I  had 
stared  at  that  night,  and  cement  them  to  myself.  I 
smiled  back :  "Hello !" 

For  the  next  few  hours,  I  was  in  hitherto  un- 
dreamed-of bliss  because  of  being  wooed  by  all  four  in 


206  Phyllis  Finds  "Herself." 

their  delightfully  wild  and  rough  way.  Ever  since 
my  later  teens,  I  have  always  yearned  to  be  treated  by 
young  fellows  as  a  girl,  and  on  my  female-impersona- 
tion sprees  now  and  again,  I  have  had  such  yearnings 
fully  met.  On  that  debut  at  the  "Rabbit,"  I  was  for 
the  first  time  in  my  life  with  sexual  counterparts 
before  whom  I  could  be  myself  because  they  did  not 
know  who  I  was.  And  they  treated  me  as  their  sexual 
opposite.  They  danced  with  me  in  turn.  Only  after 
four  hours,  I  had  to  own  up  that  I  was  not  an  out-and- 
out  female.  But  that  knowledge  seemed  to  count  for 
nothing  with  these  lovesick  coal-heavers. 

Already  two  hours  before,  I  had  felt  that  I  had 
had  more  than  enough  flirtation  for  one  night.  All  my 
efforts  to  get  away,  however,  were  useless.  At  two 
A.  M.,  the  "Rabbit's"  doors  were  locked.  I  had  to 
allow  one  of  my  beaux  to  escort  me  somewhere:  to 
the  Grand  Central  waiting-room,  for  there  I  would  be 
safe.  I  now  warned  my  beau  that  if  he  did  not  leave 
me,  I  would  sit  there  for  a  week.  But  it  took  him  two 
more  hours  to  give  up  all  hope  of  my  yielding  to  his 
goodhearted  pleas.  1 

Five  minutes  after  he  left,  I  sought  the  street. 
I  turned  half-a-dozen  corners,  lurking  a  minute  around 
each  to  see  if  the  coast  was  clear.  I  then  boarded  a 
car.      I  slowly  dragged  myself  up  the  three  flights  of 

i  A  warning  to  any  unsophisticated  androgyne  who  may  be 
moved  to  an  impersonation  spree  in  a  red-light  district.  It  is 
necessary  to  go  slow  and  be  ultra-cautious.  Numerous  andro- 
gynes have  been  murdered  by  gangsters.  Frank-Eunice, 
Angelo-Phyllis,  and  myself  were  exceptionally  fortunate.  Every 
time  an  androgyne  puts  himself  in  the  power  of  a  stranger 
gangster,  it  is  at  the  risk  of  murder.  Several  times  I  myself 
have  been  half-murdered.  A  poverty-stricken  aspect  and  con- 
cealment of  one's  culture  constitute  the  best  protection.  By  no 
means  show  fight  if  assaulted. 


Leader  of  a  Bowery  Gang.  207 

stairs  and  noiselessly  let  myself  into  my  flat.  Tired 
out,  I  threw  myself  on  the  bed  only  half  undressed 
and  slept  until  noon. 

But,  mon  cheri,  I  had  now  found  myself.  For 
seven  years  afterward,  I  sought  the  "Rabbit"  or  the 
"Squirrel"  once  every  other  week,  giving  the  rest  of 
my  time  to  business  or  self -culture.  One  evening  out 
of  fourteen  was  all  I  could  spare  for  the  female  side 
of  my  being.  But  the  balance  of  my  waking  hours 
were  filled  with  blissful  thoughts  of  my  flirtations — 
memories  which  will  last  as  long  as  I.  These  sprees 
have  been  to  me  the  first  thing  in  life.  I  would  have 
given  up  anything  else  for  them.  When  now  and  again 
something  has  blocked  my  fortnightly  spree,  I  would 
be  the  most  melancholy  person  in  New  York. 

On  the  Bowery,  I  always  went  with  the  same  gang 
of  about  a  dozen  savages.  If  any  one  took  a  look  at 
me,  Ralphie — so  soft-spoken,  so  chicken-hearted,  so 
wishy-washy — they  wouldn't  set  me  down  as  leader 
of  a  Bowery  gang,  would  they?  But  that's  just  what 
I  once  was.  All  the  members  of  my  gang  were  of 
foreign  parentage,  sturdy,  possessed  of  well  chiselled 
features,  and  tolerably  clean.  I  found  nothing  dis- 
gusting about  them.  None  had  had  more  than  three 
years'  schooling,  or  the  least  training  in  morality  or 
religion.  Nevertheless  they  were  not  a  bad  lot;  far 
from  being  as  evil-minded  as  the  upper  class  would 
judge  from  the  outside.  None  was  more  than  twenty- 
five  while  a  member  of  my  gang,  and  none  bright 
enough  to  earn  his  bread  at  an  occupation  of  higher 
grade  than  coal-heaver. 

The  average  age  remained  low  because  one  after 
another  settled  down  in  marriage,  having  brought  to 


208  Androgynes'  Favorites  Fortunate. 

an  end  his  sowing  of  wild  oats,  and  some  budding 
gangster  took  his  place  with  me. 

On  my  fortnightly  hegiras,  I  was  well  supplied 
with  money  so  that  I  could  give  all  a  first-rate  treat 
in  exchange  for  their  wonderful  kindness.  They  kept 
good  friends  because  I  loaded  them  with  gifts.  Only 
after  seven  years,  a  born  criminal,  who  had  happened 
to  worm  his  way  into  my  gang,  now  and  again  sought 
to  dog  me  home.  Twice  I  had  to  sit  for  an  hour  in 
the  Grand  Central  waiting-room  to  get  him  off  my 
trail.  Up  to  that  time  no  one  had  broken  my  firm 
command  that  I  should  not  be  tracked  the  moment  I 
chose  to  fade  away  for  a  fortnight.  For  I  was  like 
a  good  fairy — in  the  twinkling  of  an  eye  bobbing  up 
in  the  midst  of  my  gang,  gathered  by  appointment  in 
the  "Rabbit,"  and  a  few  hours  later  as  wierdly  drop- 
ping out  of  sight.  Of  course  I  could  not  let  any  of 
the  gangsters  find  out  in  what  part  of  the  city  I  lived. 
At  last,  to  put  a  stop  to  high-handed  and  high-figured 
blackmail  by  this  one  rascal,  and,  most  of  all,  to 
escape  murder,  I  was  forced  to  say  good-by  forever  to 
the  whole  Bowery.  Of  course  I  did  not  dare  let  even 
the  most  trustworthy  gangster  know  that  I  was  never 
to  see  him  again.  It  pained  me  fearfully  to  leave  them 
in  the  lurch,  but  I  could  do  nothing  else. 

I  henceforth  made  the  Rialto  my  stamping-ground 
when  yielding  my  bisexual  body  to  the  woman  in  me. 
And  fortunately,  for  I  thus  met  Roland  and  the 
other  hermaphroditoi  who  had  likewise  turned  to  the 
Rialto  to  blow  off  now  and  again  their  ordinarily  pent 
up,  but  at  last  overwhelming,  craze  for  female-imper- 
sonation. 


Angelo — Phyllis.  209 


II.     Jailed  for  Wearing  Petticoats. 

A  scrape  that  I  like  to  tell  about,  mon  cheri, 
although  very  bitter  in  the  happening,  is  my  only 
arrest  for  flaunting  myself  in  feminine  finery.  Don't 
you  think  a  jail  a  queer  home  for  a  wishy-washy 
gentleman  and  art  connoisseur?  A  softy  whose  swat- 
ting a  fly  was  the  worst  act  he  was  ever  guilty  of,  and 
he  almost  had  to  weep  when  he  did  that. 

Ever  since  driven  from  the  Bowery  six  years  ago, 
I  have,  one  evening  out  of  fourteen,  clad  in  my  beloved 
feminine  finery,  tried  to  get  on  the  string  strange 
young  fellows  in  the  Rialto  ladies'  parlors.  My  nerves 
need  such  a  lark  now  and  again.  Otherwise  years 
ago  I  would  have  gone  crazy  or  killed  myself.1  In 
my  later  teens,  while  living  in  my  home  town,  where 
I  had  to  crucify  my  cross-dressing  and  female-imper- 
sonating instincts,  I  was  its  most  melancholy  being. 
Because  I,  a  female  soul,  was  imprisoned  in  a  male 
body.  How  dark  life  looked  from  inside  my  male 
prison !  How  I  pined  to  be  free !  To  have  my  soul 
wholly  clothed  in  woman's  bone  and  flesh  instead  of 
man's  for  the  most  part — the  latter  so  hated  in  my  own 
body,  but  slavishly  worshipped  when  breathing  out 

1  Just  the  day  I  retyped  the  above  (Jan.  24,  1921)  I  read 
how  a  girl-boy  of  eighteen  committed  suicide  in  New  York  City 
by  jumping  from  a  thirty-five  foot  bridge  upon  railroad  tracks. 
Adolescent  androgynes  are  continually  putting  an  end  to  their 
lives  because  bitterly  persecuted  merely  on  account  of  their 
bisexuality  and  most  unfeelingly  told  by  their  closest  associates 
that  they  are  deeply  depraved,  and  because  prohibited  by  the 
leaders  of  thought  from  acquiring  scientific  knowledge  of  their 
idiosyncrasy. 


210  Regimentals  Over 'powering. 

yells  of  joy  in  sport  or  the  cry  to  battle  and  the  clash 
of  arms! 

One  evening  five  years  ago  in  the  Rialto  I  ran 
across  two  youthful  artillerymen  from  Fort  Q  and 
spent  the  evening  with  them.  Regimentals  have  al- 
ways overpowered  me.  Even  when  I  was  as  young  as 
ten,  when  an  acquaintance  enlisted  in  the  national 
guard,  his  mere  donning  the  regimentals  brought 
about,  in  my  eyes,  a  magic  transformation.  If  already 
handsome,  the  young  fellow  became  supremely,  un- 
earthly enchanting.  If  plain  and  unattractive  in 
civilian  dress,  he  grew  handsome.  Blue  clothing  and 
brass  buttons  surely  bring  out  whatever  charm  was 
born  in  a  young  fellow.  Furthermore,  his  taste  for 
warfare,  shown  by  his  volunteering,  proves  him  a 
demigod.  For  I  think  warfare  the  highest  function 
of  the  real  man. 

Whenever  I  catch  sight  of  a  youthful  soldier, 
I  rivet  my  gaze  every  second  possible,  even  halting  at 
the  curb  to  look  back  at  the  wonderful  vision.  I  yearn 
to  fling  myself  at  the  soldier's  feet  and  cry  out  my 
worship  of  all  his  magic  traits.  As  the  vision  fades 
away,  a  pang  goes  through  my  heart  that  he  must  pass 
out  of  my  life  forever  and  I  never  be  able  to  make 
known  to  him  that  for  the  rest  of  my  days  I  shall  be 
continuously  burning  incense  in  my  heart  to  his  mem- 
ory. 

0  Ralphie,  I  am  overwhelmed  when  I  call  to  mind 
the  hundreds  of  the  cream  of  physical  youngmanhood 
with  whom  I  have  flirted,  and  whom  I  wholeheartedly 
loved!  I  have  to  weep  at  thinking  that  the  way  the 
world  is  made,  I  must  be  forever  barred  from  them. 
In  spirit,  I  am  eternally  joined,  knit,  dovetailed  to 


Eternally  Dovetailed.  211 

every  man  of  them,  but  in  the  flesh,  must  never  lay 
eyes  on  the  demigods  again.  How  I  wish  I  could  have 
continued  to  heap  blessings  upon  them  and  make  their 
sojourn  on  earth  happy!  But  I  am  not  God!  In  the 
next  world,  how  I  wish,  as  a  reward  for  my  always 
having  tried  in  this  to  make  my  associates  happy,  I 
might  be  placed  by  Providence  in  the  position  of  a  sort 
of  sub-deity  to  the  hundreds  of  rough,  uncultured 
young  bachelors  whom  I  have  made  proteges  in  this 
life,  in  order  that  I  might  be  the  means  of  affording 
each  the  eternity  of  bliss  I  so  covet  for  them!.  .  .  . 

I  do  not  lose  an  opportunity  to  see  a  parade  of  the 
national  guard,  and  particularly  of  regular  soldiers, 
marines,  and  blue- jackets.  I  do  not  give  a  straw  to 
see  any  other  type  of  men  marching.  But  while  wit- 
nessing warriors  stalk  by,  I  am  seized  with  a  craze 
to  prostrate  myself  in  the  roadway  and  have  those 
fierce,  pugnacious  young  tigers — as  they  tramp,  tramp, 
tramp ! — trample  upon  me  until  dead. 

The  two  artillerymen  I  met  in  the  Rialto  begged 
me  to  make  an  hegira  out  to  the  barracks  to  give  a 
female-impersonation  before  their  buddies.  One  after- 
noon I  made  the  hour's  journey,  clad  as  an  extreme 
dresser  of  the  gentle,  and  at  the  same  time  hare- 
brained, sex. 

Around  five  P.  M.,  I  knocked  at  my  friends'  bar- 
racks. Being  in  woman's  garb,  I  would  not  step  in- 
side, but  jollied  with  them  on  the  large  porch.  The 
news  spread  that  I  was  only  a  female-impersonator 
and  half-a-hundred  crowded  around,  flirting  for  all 
they  were  worth.  That  was,  mon  cheri,  my  apotheosis 
— far  above  all  other  adventures.  I  was  overjoyed  at 
hearing  at  one  time  from  half-a-hundred  demigod? 


212  Female-Impersonate  Intoxication. 

cries  of  admiration  and  affection.  For  I  would  sacri- 
fice myself  more  for,  and  give  more  richly  to,  youthful 
common  soldiers  than  any  other  class  of  men. 

When,  after  half-an-hour,  the  bugle  sounded  re- 
treat, how  overwhelming,  how  unearthly,  how  infinite 
and  divine,  its  notes !  The  bugle-call,  because  closely 
associated  with  the  clash  of  arms  and  with  that  type 
of  human  who  shine  as  demigods,  always  lifts  me  up 
into  an  unutterably  blissful  female-impersonate  and 
cross-dress  intoxication.  I  seem  to  be  raised  to  the 
very  zenith  of  the  universe  as  the  supreme  woman, 
the  fairie  QUEEN,  and  to  have  all  the  fighting  men 
that  ever  lived  bowing  low  in  worship  of  my  feminine 
attributes.  During  the  minute  that  the  bugle-call  re- 
sounds and  reverberates,  I  live  infinitely!  I  live  out 
a  whole  eternity ! 

But  to  come  down  to  earth  again,  Ralphie :  When 
I  went  away  at  the  supper  call,  my  two  friends  said 
they  would  meet  me  in  a  beer-garden  in  a  neighboring 
village.  It  was  the  favorite  evening  resort  of  the  com- 
mon soldiers.  My  two  friends  arrived  with  four  bud- 
dies. Of  the  half-a-hundred  patrons,  none  else,  ex- 
cepting several  additional  soldiers  of  my  friends' 
company  who  happened  to  drop  in,  knew,  up  to  the 
very  last,  that  I  was  only  impersonating  a  female. 

Bu+  toward  eleven,  some  of  my  party  had  drunk  a 
drop  too  much.  Their  behavior  became  boisterous  and 
improper.  When  the  waiters  tried  to  curb  them,  a 
terrible  fight  started.  The  waiters  were  themselves 
ex-soldiers  and  born  fighters.  Heavy  glass  schooners 
were  thrown  back  and  forth.  I  had  to  get  under  a 
table. 

After  several  minutes,  two  constables  burst  in  and 


The  Woman-Man.  213 

put  all  my  party  under  arrest.  I  had  now  to  'fess  up 
that  I  was  not  really  a  girl.  My  faltering  words  filled 
the  constables  with  disgust  and  hatred.  This  is  not 
to  be  wondered  at,  because  village  constables  do  not 
know  psychology  like  Bowery  and  Rialto  policemen. 

The  seven  of  us  were  locked  up  for  the  night.  The 
next  morning  the  Justice-of-the-peace  discharged  my 
companions  with  a  mere  reprimand  because  members 
of  the  army.  But  he  was  wild  to  punish  me  for  putting 
on  woman's  garb.  He  sent  a  constable  with  me  to  the 
White  Plains  jail,  where  I  was  to  spend  thirty  days, 
or  until  I  could  pay  a  hundred  dollars  fine.  The  Jus- 
tice thought  I  was  a  low-down  poverty-stricken  fairie 
from  New  York's  worst  slums.  I  did  not  have  the 
brass  to  tell  him  I  was  really  a  person  of  good  charac- 
ter, a  regular  church  attendant,  well  educated,  and 
able  to  pay  the  fine. 

The  jailer,  however,  was  sorry  for  me.  I  felt  safe 
in  telling  him  the  worst  of  my  secrets.  I  let  him  feel 
my  woman's  breasts.  That  made  him  my  best  friend 
and  he  helped  me  get  into  communication  with  my 
New  York  lawyer.  After  only  a  second  miserable 
night  in  a  cell,  the  lawyer  paid  my  fine  and  escorted 
me  back  to  the  city — even  in  my  feminine  "regimen- 
tals," as  he  had  forgotten  to  bring  along  one  of  my 
male  outfits. 

After  that  scrape,  I  made  an  hegira  to  the  bar- 
racks now  and  again,  but  always  in  male  garb.  The 
whole  fort  marvelled  at  the  "woman-man,"  as  they 
called  me.  They  always  gave  me  a  great  time.  Noth- 
ing would  I  have  liked  better  than  to  live  with  them  in 
the  barracks  as  their  most  devoted  slave.  Because 
they  were  my  farthest  opposites. 


214  Angelo-Phyllis. 


III.    George  Greenwood.1 

Ralphie,  I  am  now  going  to  tell  you  about  the 
foremost  specimen  of  young  manhood  I  ever  met.  If 
a  man  show  had  been  held  five  years  ago,  on  the  model 
of  the  horse  show,  the  young  fellow  I  am  going  to  tell 
you  about  would  have  won  first  prize. 

You  know  that  most  of  us  hermaphroditoi  have  a 
single  soul-mate.  Of  course  they  are  uncultured. 
Mere  diamonds  in  the  rough.  For  the  past  four  years, 
George  Greenwood,  whom  you  have  seen  with  me,  has 
been  my  own  soul-mate.  For  while  I  have  flirted  with 
many  others,  he  alone  has  been  like  an  adopted  son — 
as  we  older  hermaphroditoi  look  upon  our  soul-mates. 
At  present,  George  is  twenty-nine,  and  in  outer  at- 
tractiveness, only  a  wreck  of  what  he  was  when  I 
"adopted"  him. 2 

1  The  reader  might  omit  this  chapter  because  thinking  it 
not  a  propos.  It  is  given  because  describing  an  actual  episode 
in  the  life  of  the  sexual  cripple  being  depicted.  It  also  paints 
the  type  of  fast  young  bachelor  after  whom  the  cultured  ultra- 
androgynes  of  New  York  commonly  "run."  To  avoid  any 
chance  of  a  suit  for  slander,  I  merely  substitute  the  real  name  of 
one  of  my  own  half-dozen  New  York  favorites — the  half-dozen 
who  will  live  forever  in  the  sanctum  sanctorum  of  my  memory 
— that  one  favorite  who  physically  much  resembled  Phyllis's 
"adopted  son,"  but  whose  character  was  ideal.  The  real  George 
Greenwood — of  immaculate  beauty  and  charm,  and  unsurpassed 
friendliness  to  a  sexual  cripple  like  myself.  In  the  words  of 
Phyllis,  I  am  "continuously  burning  incense  in  ray  heart  to  his 
memory."    I  would  wish  to  confer  on  him  immortality. 

2  At  the  time  I  knew  him  slightly,  he  was  very  bald  and 
possessed  a  rather  "passe"  countenance.  He  was  nearly  six 
feet  tall,  perfectly  proportioned,  and  had  a  negroid  complexion, 
charcoal  eyes,  and  the  blackest  of  curly  hair — that  is,  what  was 
left  of  it.  He  was  apparently  of  Spanish  extraction.  Only 
when  he  had  his  hat  on  was  he  still  of  entrancing  appearance. 


George's  Antecedents.  215 

I  must  explain,  mon  cheri,  that  George  is  not  well 
bred.  About  twelve  years  ago  a  portrait  painter  of 
my  acquaintance  ran  across  him  selling  papers  on 
Broadway.  George  was  then  only  seventeen.  At  first 
sight,  the  artist  felt  George's  unique  beauty  and  asked 
him  to  pose.  Later  other  artists  did  George  in  oils 
and  with  the  chisel. 

He  has  never  known  who  his  parents  were.  For 
he-  was  a  foundling.  When  discharged  from  the 
orphan  asylum  at  fourteen,  he  was  apprenticed  to  an 
upholsterer.  But  on  account  of  George's  quick  temper 
and  nasty  tongue,  he  could  hold  no  position  more  than 
a  month.  When  my  friend  ran  across  him,  George's 
thoroughly  bad  record  had  left  him  only  one  means  of 
earning  his  bread :  selling  papers.  But  ever  since  his 
ideal  physique  was  discovered  by  my  friend,  George's 
path  through  life  has  been  strewn  with  roses. 

Four  years  ago  I  happened  to  lay  eyes  on  George 
as  he  posed  in  my  friend's  studio.  Right  away  his  lines 
of  face,  head,  limbs,  and  body — hitherto  even  un- 
dreamed of — held  me  spell-bound  and  I  took  him  into 
my  home.  For  I  thought  George  was  Michelangelo's 
Adam  stepped  down  into  flesh  and  blood  out  of  the 
painting  on  the  ceiling  of  the  Sistine  chapel.  Angelo's 
nude  figures  of  youthful  men  have  alone  approached 
George's  ideal  lines. 

But  he  has  been  such  a  drunkard  and  high-liver 
in  general  that  his  beauty — particularly  his  head  and 
face — is  now  far  below  par.  For  two  years  he  has 
not  been  hired  as  a  model.  And  he  does  not  want  to 
earn  in  any  other  way.  He  has  leaned  wholly  on  me 
to  keep  up  his  life  in  the  Rialto  as  all-around  sport. 


216 


Michelangelo's  Adam. 


I  breathe  to  you,  Ralphie,  under  pledge  to  keep 
it  forever  locked  in  the  chambers  of  your  heart,  that 
George's  face  and  figure,  once  driving  me  beside  my- 
self, have  become  hideous  and  loathsome.  How  I  hate 
his  billiard-ball  head !    In  order  to  stand  his  presence, 


Androgyne  Platonic  Marriage.  217 

I  have  to  ask  him  to  keep  his  hat  on.  And  a  man's  wig 
disgusts  me  even  more  than  a  bald  pate.  Three 
months  ago  we  stopped  living  together.  I  could  no 
longer  put  up  with  his  all  the  time  scolding  and  cursing 
me,  and  spitting  tobacco  juice  and  vomit  on  the  rugs. 
While  we  see  each  other  now  and  again — because  he 
wants  a  few  yellow  backs — we  have  come  to  hate  the 
very  sight  of  one  another. 

Ralphie,  I  heartily  wish  I  were  forever  rid  of  the 
brute  beast!  It  now  comes  hard,  when  I  see  nothing 
of  the  hero  in  him,  to  fork  over  a  roll  of  bills  every 
few  days.  Our  relations  the  past  year  have  been  hard- 
ly more  than  a  case  of  blackmail.  I  do  not  wholly  drop 
him  for  fear  of  his  telling  abroad  how  I  pass  now  as 
a  man  and  now  as  a  woman. 

Most  of  all  I  want  to  get  out  of  George's  clutches 
because  five  months  ago  I  met  a  wonderful  young  fel- 
low whom  I  plan  legally  to  adopt.  When  I  took  George 
Greenwood,  I  planned  the  same  thing.  But  his  char- 
acter proved  so  terrible !  I  am  now  getting  on  in  life, 
mon  cheri,  and  my  health  is  delicate.  I  need  a  close 
intimate  in  my  home  to  wait  on  me  during  my  many 
sick  days.  It  is  difficult  for  any  of  us  hermaphroditoi 
to  take  a  wife.  One  hates  so  to  explain  to  a  woman 
that  after  marriage,  the  life  must  be  that  of  brother 
and  sister.  And  no  woman — excepting  only  the  most 
old-maidish — would  marry  under  these  conditions.  But 
I  know  one  of  us  hermaphroditoi — before  your  time, 
Ralphie — who  did  marry,  after  thirty,  under  that  ar- 
rangement, and  only  because  he  had  political  ambi- 
tions, and  his  being  known  as  a  married  man  would 
give  pause  to  enemies  who  were  backbiting  him  be- 
cause  of  the  indiscretions  of  his  youth.     This  her- 


218  Androgynes  Wish  a  Wife  for  "Sons" 

maphroditos  was  one  of  the  brightest  of  men  and  rose, 
as  a  result,  to  one  of  the  foremost  posts  in  the  nation. 
But  if  he  had  not  been  married,  the  politicians  and  the 
voters  would  have  turned  him  down.  A  legal  mar- 
riage surely  covers  a  multitude  of  sins.  But  I  myself 
have  such  a  horror  of  women  that  I  could  not  live  with 
one  even  as  a  sister. 

I  have  a  maiden  sister,  whom  I  could  get  as  house- 
keeper, and  who  would  take  the  best  of  care  of  me. 
But  I  can  not  receive  her  into  my  home  for  fear  she 
might  discover  my  bisexuality.  I  could  not  allow  a 
servant  to  live  in  my  flat  any  more  than  my  sister. 
For  even  at  the  age  of  thirty-three,  I,  although  half 
the  time  almost  too  feeble  to  drag  myself  about,  do. 
not  feel  like  saying  goodby  forever  to  my  female-im- 
personation sprees.  They  are  still  such  fun ;  about  all 
I  have  to  live  for !  And  God  has  made  young  fellows 
so  wonderful,  so  charming!  I  still  admire  their 
beauty  as  much  as  I  did  ten  years  ago.  And  it  is  still  so 
easy  to  get  them  on  the  string,  almost  as  easy  as  it  was 
ten  years  ago.  But  if  I  am  able  legally  to  adopt  Calvin 
— about  whom  I  will  tell  you  in  a  minute — I  feel  that  I 
then  can,  having  him  with  me  always  in  my  home,  al- 
ways in  my  office,  always  travelling  with  me  wherever 
I  go:  I  then  can  say  goodby  forever  to  female-imper- 
sonation sprees.  For  he  would  be  to  me  a  husband  as 
well  as  a  son.  He  would  be  everything  to  me!  I 
would  live  only  in  and  for  him !  Only  to  make  him,  his 
female  wife,  and  his  offspring  happy !  For  I  would  not 
put  anything  in  the  way  of  his  taking  a  full-female  wife 
in  addition  whenever  he  felt  like  it,  because  a  full- 
fledged  young  fellow  is  restless  without  one. 

Of  course  I  could  have  another  hermaphrodites 


Calvin  Luther.  219 

live  with  me,  as  Ruby,  Berenice,  and  the  Duchess  live 
together.  But  it  has  always  been  my  fondest  dream 
to  adopt  as  son  a  young  fellow  who  comes  up  to  my 
ideal. 

For  several  months  I  have  had  my  ideal  under 
my  eyes  every  day  as  stenographer  in  my  millinery 
house.  As  "women's  men"  are  prone  to  take  for  pri- 
vate secretary  the  prettiest  face  or  "divinest"  form 
among  the  gentle  sex,  likewise  /  picked  out  the  appli- 
cant standing  highest  as  an  Adonis.  He  is  only  twenty 
and  possesses  golden  curly  hail ;  deep-set,  marine-blue 
eyes;  and  radiant  red  cheeks.  From  his  having  been 
baptized  "Calvin  Luther"  you  can  tell  what  kind  of 
parents  and  breeding  he  was  blessed  with.  He  is 
thoroughly  pure-minded  and  unspoiled,  having,  until 
fifteen  months  ago,  lived  on  a  farm. 

I  slavishly  worship  the  youth.  The  biased  world 
would  tremble  at  the  thought  of  the  harm  I  would 
surely  (as  they  fancy)  do  this  pearl  of  great  price. 
For  he  is  truly  an  angel ;  God's  child ;  very  religious — 
a  trait  so  rare  among  the  strongly  virile.  I  have  al- 
ready made  something  of  a  confidant  of  him  in  order 
to  learn  his  feelings  toward  a  woman-man.  Most 
young  fellows  with  a  puritan  bringing  up  would  turn 
the  cold  shoulder.  But  I  found  Calvin  Luther  open  to 
reason.  He  told  me  he  has  always,  as  a  good  church 
member,  struggled  against  his  wanting  the  gentle  sex. 
While  at  business  school  in  a  small  city,  he  earned  his 
board  by  delivering  for  a  baker  in  the  early  morning. 
A  natural  thing  followed  upon  his  being  rarely  good- 
looking.  I  barely  wormed  it  out  of  him  when  I  was 
administering  the  third  degree.  He  'fessed  up  that  a 
number  of  servant  girls  where  he  delivered  played  on 


220  Prudery  and  Bigotry  Now  Regnant. 

him  the  trick  of  Potiphar's  wife  on  Joseph.  Twice — 
he  'fessed  up  with  face  as  red  as  a  beet — he  did  not 
show  Joseph's  strength  of  character.  And  I  did  not 
think  the  less  of  him. 

And  you,  Ralphie,  of  course  know  that  I  would 
never  be  guilty  of  anything  that  could  bring  the  least 
harm  to  this  adored  innocent.  His  health  of  body  and 
mind  will  not  be  damaged  a  particle.  I  shall  give  him 
the  best  educational  and  cultural  advantages.  As  I 
have  said,  he  will  some  day  marry  the  girl  of  his  choice, 
and  I  shall  live  with  the  pair  as  a  parent.  He  and  his 
children  will  be  my  heirs. 

Is  such  an  outlook  for  a  poverty-stricken  young 
fellow  just  cause  for  Pharisees  holding  up  their  hands 
in  holy  horror?1     The  sexually  full-fledged  cannot  get 

1  In  the  July,  1921,  number  of  a  prominent  American 
medical  journal,  I  saw  a  tirade  against  androgynes,  whom  its 
author  declared  merited  no  mercy,  but  ought  to  be  crushed  as 
a  social  menace.  The  invective  proved  merely  that  its 
physician-author  clings  to  the  sexual  ethics  of  the  Dark  Ages, 
and  at  the  same  time  belongs  to  the  mildly  virile  type.  That 
type  lacks  a  superfluity  of  sexual  vigor.  It  is  inconceivable 
that  a  young  man  of  that  type  should  be  intimate  with  an 
androgyne  except  for  a  rich  reward — which  ha^  occurred  when 
the  individual  androgyne  was  cut  off  from  all  access  to  the 
ultra-sexed,  toward  whom  alone  he  gravitates  The  mildly 
virile  young  man  shudders  violently  at  the  very  thought  and 
is  confident — a  priori,  as  it  is  only  a  traditional  phantasy — that 
his  vita  sexualis,  health,  and  morals  would  be  seriously  under- 
mined. I  concede,  however,  that  such  might  be  the  case  with 
the  mildly  virile  because  possessing  only  a  modicum  of  sexual 
vigor  (perhaps,  for  example,  merely  enough  for  relations  with 
his  lawful  wife  once  a  fortnight  or  so)  and  because  tending  to 
be  overconscientious.  I  concede  that  the  mildly  virile's  morals 
would  be  damaged,  simply  because  he  fancies  such  relations  the 
unpardonable  sin.  If  once  in  his  youth  overcome  by  the  offer  of 
a  "bonanza,"  he  would  ever  afterwards  regret  the  experience 
and  feel  deep  guilt.  As  I  myself  in  my  youthful  verdancy,  he 
would  cry  out  a  thousand  times:  " 'O  wretched  man  that  I  am, 
who  shall  deliver  me  from  the  body  of  this  death!'  "  And 
because  of  his  meagre  sexual  energy,  he  might  possibly  feel  ill 


Phyllis  "Passes  On."  221 

into  their  heads  that  we  women-men  are  just  as  high- 
minded  and  conscientious  as  themselves.  They  are 
continually  hurling  insults — calling'  us  "degenerates." 
But  my  only  thought  is  to  heap  blessings  on  those 
whom  I  worship.  I  have  always  lived  up  to  the  maxim : 
Act  in  such  a  way  as  would  be  good  if  universally  fol- 
lowed. Those  who  through  self-righteousness  condemn 
and  crush  me  are  a  hundred  times  worse  sinners. 
Perhaps  some  day,  mon  cheri,  the  world  will  come  to 
believe  that  the  actual  presence  of  women-men  in  all 
communities — which  Nature  brings  about — is  a  dis- 
tinct blessing  to  society  in  several  ways. 

Author's  Note. — Within  a  year  of  the  above  con- 
fessions, Angelo-Phyllis  was  found  dead  in  "his-her" 
apartment.  The  skull  had  been  fractured  with  a  ham- 
mer. 

effects  physically.  But  that  by  no  means  proves  that  the  ultra- 
sexed  would  also  feel  them.  And  morally,  the  latter  look  upon 
the  experience  as  entirely  natural  and  sinless — the  same  as  the 
eating  of  a  piece  of  mince  pie.  Instead  of  ever  regretting  it, 
they  look  back  with  satisfaction  that  they  had  the  experience. 

Mildly  virile  writers  on  sex  forget  that  there  exist  tens 
of  thousands  of  men  of  far  superior  sexual  energy.  While 
they  themselves,  for  example,  may  care  for  the  services  of 
their  legal  wife  as  seldom  as  twice  a  month,  the  tremendously 
virile  "fellow"  is  not  satisfied  with  less  than  an  opportunity 
every  night,  and  is  at  the  same  time  "the  husband  of  all 
women."  In  my  opinion,  Philippics  against  the  androgyne  have 
their  basis  only  in  prudery  and  bigotry. 


part  jitx: 
Hefoapaper  Recounts  of  (JHurbcra  of  jAttbroggnes 


Author's  Note. — These  excerpts  from  New  York 
dailies  are  presented  in  order  to  impress  upon  the 
public  that  such  murders  of  inoffensive  androgynes 
are  a  fairly  common  occurrence  because  that  public  has 
tabooed,  on  the  basis  of  prudery  alone,  enlightenment 
of  the  general  reader  on  the  facts  of  androgynism.  I 
withhold  names  of  journals  and  dates  of  issue,  and 
cover  identities,  out  of  respect  for  the  victims  and 
their  families.  But  I  assure  those  families  that  one 
of  my  present  objects  is  to  avenge,  by  enlightening  the 
public,  the  unmerited  assassination  of  their  dear  ones 
and  thus  prevent  in  the  future  such  martyrdom  of  in- 
nocents. The  families  have  my  most  sincere  sympa- 
thy, particularly  because  I  myself  have  several  times 
been  brought  near  death's  door  in  the  manner  in  which 
their  unfortunate — but  not  in  the  least  immoral — rela- 
tives were  put  out  of  the  way. 

Each  of  the  first  three  murders  was  apparently 
the  work  of  some  prude  not  at  all  criminally  minded, 
but  feeling  himself  the  mandatory  of  society  in  ridding 
the  world  of  "a  monster  of  deepdyed  depravity,"  ac- 
cording as  he  was  taught  by  church  and  synagogue. 
The  harebrained  prude  had  been  prohibited  by  public 
opinion  from  learning  the  truth  that  androgynism  is 

[222] 


Androgynes  Not  Sodomites.  223 

solely  a  matter  of  abnormal  psychology  and  anatomy, 
and  not  at  all  immorality.  The  term  which  best  calls 
up  the  sensations  of  revulsion  of  such  a  murderer  is 
"sodomite."  To  its  highly  malodorous  and  fundamen- 
tally false  connotation  and  application  can  be  traced 
every  year,  in  every  corner  of  Christendom  (particu- 
larly puritan),  murders  of  inoffensive  androgynes. 
The  author's  comments  are  in  brackets. 

I.     Two  Murder  Mysteries  Which,  Strangely  Alike  in 
Many  Ways,  Baffled  All  Efforts  to  Solve. 

(Much  condensed,  and  slightly  edited  for  diction,  by 

author  of  The  Female-Impersonators,  from 

article  in  a  New  York  daily.) 

VICTIMS  WERE  TWO  ELDERLY  BACHELORS  OF  MEANS, 
LIVING  IN  THE  SAME  SECTION  OF  CITY — X  AND  Y 
WERE  BOTH  FOND  OF  PERSONAL  ADORNMENT  AND 
DISPLAY  AND  BOTH  HABITUALLY  CHOSE  YOUNG  MEN 
AS  ASSOCIATES — EACH  WAS  SLAIN  IN  HIS  OWN 
APARTMENT — ONLY  TWENTY-NINE  DAYS  SEPARAT- 
ED THE  TWO  MURDERS — MANY  CIRCUMSTANCES  OF 
THE  TWO  CRIMES  BORE  CURIOUS  RESEMBLANCE 

Consideration  of  recent  terrible  crimes  in  New 
York  which  have  halted  agents  of  justice  at  dead  walls 
of  mystery  must  bring  to  mind  the  X-Y  murders  of  a 
little  more  than  a  year  ago.  They  were  committed 
within  five  weeks,  the  scenes  within  a  few  blocks  on 
fashionable  Murray  Hill. 

In  both,  extraordinary  interest  was  stirred  by  the 
maniacal   savagery   unleashed.     The   settings   of  the 


224  Androgynes  Art  Connoisseurs. 

crimes  were  alike  bizarre.  The  characters  of  both 
victims  were  most  peculiar,  yet  alike.  And  the  men 
had  been  friends.  [Androgynes,  in  all  large  cities, 
form  little  cliques  like  the  Cercle  Hermaphroditos.] 

X  was  a  bachelor  of  fifty-six,  an  electrical  expert, 
an  art  connoisseur,  and  collector  of  jewels  and  weap- 
ons. Though  in  more  than  comfortable  financial  cir- 
cumstances, he  resided  entirely  alone,  doing  his  own 
housework  [common  manner  of  life  of  androgynes] 
in  a  6-room  flat  on  the  ground-floor  of  the  Q  Apart- 
ments. [I  know  one  androgyne  who  purposely  chose  a 
ground-floor  apartment  in  a  house  without  hall-boy  so 
he  could  go  and  come  in  his  disguise  with  less  chance 
of  encountering  other  tenants.]  He  had  made  it  his 
home  for  ten  years.  [This  proves  his  outward  decen- 
cy, as  well,  as  liberality  to  blackmailers.]  The  artistic 
luxury  of  its  furnishings  was  striking.  The  walls  were 
galleries  of  fine  old  prints,  original  oils,  and  copies  of 
masters,  and  displayed  a  strange  collection  of  swords, 
sabres,  and  barbarian  spears.  [Well-to-do  androgynes 
possess  the  most  highly  ornamented  homes  of  any 
class  of  society.  While  congenitally  too  "yellow" 
themselves  to  handle  the  weapons  of  warfare,  such  are 
generally  sexual  fetishes  with  them,  being  symbols  of 
the  highest  function  of  the  true  man.] 

In  this  handsome,  lonely  abode,  the  detectives 
made  a  discovery  of  significance:  X  had  lived  in  ex- 
traordinary fear  of  the  lawless  invasion  of  his  rooms. 
[Cultured  androgynes,  realizing  how  bitterly  they  are 
hated  by  prudes,  live  constantly  under  the  sword  of 
Damocles.  Every  night  they  fall  asleep  in  the  fear 
of  being  murdered.  They  are  uncommonly  careful  in 
locking  themselves  in.    The  author  tries  his  locks  twice 


Live  under  Sivord  of  Damocles.  225 

before  retiring.  While  a  child,  he,  every  night  before 
getting  into  bed,  looked  to  see  whether  there  was  not 
a  murderer  under  it.  Androgynes  are  extreme 
cowards.]  For  he  had  used  his  expertness  with  deli- 
cate electrical  devices  to  set  his  rooms  with  a  maze 
of  traps  for  any  person  who  might  try  to  enter  it  by 
force  or  stealth.  Doors,  windows,  etc.,  were  invisibly 
strung  with  delicate  wires.  With  the  controlling  alarm 
device  set,  scarcely  an  article  might  be  touched  without 
the  ringing  of  sharp  bells  of  warning. 

But  that  thieves  were  those  of  whom  he  lived  in 
dread  was  contradicted  by  other  facts.  X,  far  from 
being  a  recluse,  frequented  hotels  and  cafes  and  was 
prone  to  make  chance  acquaintances,  especially  of 
young  men,  while  going  about  extravagantly  bejewelled 
and  habitually  carrying  a  large  roll  of  bills  which 
it  was  a  pet  vanity  to  display. 

His  social  hours  were  spent  almost  entirely  with 
young  men.  He  had  been  known  to  comment :  "I  keep 
young  because  I  associate  with  the  young."  The  Q 
servants  said  these  young-men  callers  never  behaved 
boisterously.  All  were  decorous  and  well  dressed.  [A 
small  proportion  of  cultured  androgynes  who  live  alone 
in  their  own  homes  entertain  there  adolescents  who 
bear  the  earmarks  of  trustworthy  gentlemen.  X's 
murderer  could  have  been  of  no  other  type,  but  was 
in  addition  an  extreme  prude  so  far  as  concerns  homo- 
sexuality. The  cultured  enjoin  extreme  noiselessness 
so  as  not  to  arouse  suspicions  of  co-tenants  of  the  same 
apartment  house.  The  uncultured  commonly  receive 
any  adolescent  at  all  in  their  homes  because  having  no 
fear  of  disgrace  and  blackmail.  By  "young  men"  the 
author   of  the   excerpt   evidently   means   those   from 


22C  Androgyne  Stamping  Grounds. 

eighteen  to  twenty-five,  the  age-group  preferred,  and 
almost  exclusively  cultivated,  by  androgynes.] 

The  Q  servants  further  said  that  X  frequently 
started  alone  on  strolls,  many  times,  however,  return- 
ing with  a  youthful  companion,  who  would  spend  an 
hour  or  two  with  the  elderly  host.  [The  favorite  New 
York  localities  for  evening  "strolls"  of  cultured  andro- 
gynes for  scraping  acquaintance  with  a  strange  Hercu- 
les or  Adonis  are,  in  cold  weather,  the  Broadway  and 
the  Fourteenth  Street  Rialtos  and  cafes;  and  in  sum- 
mer, Madison  Square,  Union  Square,  the  southerly 
quarter  of  Central  Park  (the  three  park  spaces  most 
frequented  at  night  by  idle  adolescents  who  would  be 
glad  to  pick  up  a  few  dollars),  the  Battery  (because 
frequented  by  common  soldiers),  and  other  localities 
frequented  by  uncommissioned  warriors,  the  ideal  oc- 
cupation, as  I  have  already  said,  for  a  real  man  in  the 
eyes  of  androgynes.  In  the  case  of  X,  the  Q  men- 
servants  probably  saw  through  everything.  The  ser- 
vant class  often  respect  a  cultured  moneyed  androgyne 
who  treats  them  well,  and  they  act  only  in  a  protecting 
capacity.] 

Of  woman  visitors,  there  could  be  recalled  but  one 
— whitehaired,  a  few  years  older  than  X,  said  to  be  an 
aunt. 

Investigators  were  astonished  by  the  nicety,  the 
fond  care,  with  which  X  had  done  his  own  housekeep- 
ing. Floors,  rugs,  and  every  article  were  flawless  of 
dust.  In  spick  and  span  appearance,  thoughtful  and 
orderly  arrangement  of  utensils,  neatness  of  china 
closets,  refrigerator  and  provision  store-room,  a  fea- 
ture of  which  latter  were  shelves  lined  with  jars  cf 
.homemade    preserves    labelled    in    handwriting,    i;he 


Bent  for  Woman's  Toil.  227 

bachelor's  kitchen  was  fit  to  excite  a  housewife's  envy. 
[Androgynes  take  naturally  to  woman's  tasks.] 

Discovery  of  the  Murder 

It  was  not  discovered  until  many  hours  after  com- 
mission. At  noon  of  [date  omitted  by  author  of  The 
Female-Impersonators]  the  Q  janitor  saw  a  light 
shining  out  of  a  transom  of  X's.  He  was  immediately 
convinced  such  a  methodical  man  would  not  have  gone 
away  leaving  the  light  turned  on.  He  tried  X's  en- 
trance and  found  it  unlocked.  He  went  to  the  room 
where  the  light  was  burning.  Stretched  on  the  floor 
beside  a  divan,  with  a  couch  pillow  resting  on  the  face, 
was  X.  A  few  feet  away  was  the  sabre  with  which  he 
had  been  murdered. 

The  divan  covers  were  half  ripped  off  where  the 
falling  man  had  clutched  them  as  he  was  repeatedly 
felled — repeatedly,  for  it  was  evident  X  had  fought 
hard  for  his  life  against  the  sabre-armed  assassin.  The 
sabre  had  been  ripped  off  the  wall  of  the  hall-way  of 
the  apartment.  The  retaining  wires  were  strong  and 
the  hand  must  have  been  strong  that  snapped  them. 
[Androgynes  cultivate  only  the  best  physically  de- 
veloped.] 

The  deduction  was  made  that  the  assassin  had  not 
entered  X's  home  with  the  intent  to  murder.  He  was 
pictured  as  having,  in  all  probability,  left  his  host  in 
the  "den"  and  started  down  the  hall  to  make  his  exit 
from  the  flat  when  the  resolution  to  attack  and  kill — a 
resolution  which  the  weapons  on  the  wall  may  have 
suggested — came  suddenly  upon  him.  Ripping  the 
weapon  from  the  wall,  he  is  pictured  as  having  dashed 
back  to  the  "den"  and  surprised  X  with  a  fury  of  mur- 


228  Prudery  Gone  Insane. 

derous  attack.  [X  probably  entertained  at  his  home 
for  the  first  time  that  night  his  well  dressed  and  ap- 
parently trustworthy  assassin.  Only  when  the  two  ad- 
journed to  the  "den"  did  X  probably  disclose  his  de- 
sire, so  nauseating  to  the  unsophisticated  and  those 
ignorant  of  abnormal  psychology.  Doubtless  a  minute 
after  the  disclosure,  the  prude  left  X's  side  in  insane 
disgust,  and  on  passing  through  the  hall  entertained 
his  first  thought  to  do  his  "duty  by  society  and  put 
this  monster  where  he  could  corrupt  no  more  young 
men" — an  absolutely  unfounded  way  of  looking  at  the 
matter.  I  have  myself  scraped  acquaintance  with  a 
youthful  Hercules,  who  would  lead  me  on  hypocriti- 
cally, and  when  he  got  me  where  there  could  be  no 
witnesses,  has  half-murdered  me  because  of  disgust  at 
androgynism.  My  adventure  with  Harvey  Green  is 
an  example.] 

Physical  examination  disclosed  that  despite  his 
fifty-six  years,  X  possessed  the  preservation  of  a  man 
of  thirty-five.  [Perennial  youth  is  an  earmark  of 
ultra-androgynism.] 

The  autopsy  showed  that  every  character  of  blow 
had  been  inflicted — deep  stab  wounds,  slashes,  and 
fracturing  strokes  on  the  skull  either  with  the  broad 
side  or  dull  back  of  the  sabre.  The  coat  of  X,  who  was 
fully  clothed  when  killed,  had  been  slashed  to  tatters. 
[The  assassin  wished  not  merely  to  kill,  but  to  hack 
X  to  pieces  because  of  his  loathing  of  androgynism.  I 
myself  have  not  alone  been  half -murdered,  but  mutila- 
tion has  been  practiced  for  its  own  sake.  See  page 
132  of  my  Autobiography  of  an  Androgyne.] 


Murdered  by  a  Guest.  229 

A  Midnight  Caller 

X's  condition  of  being  fully  clothed  proves  of 
course  that  he  had  not  yet  retired.  [It  also  indicates 
that  his  assassin  had  repulsed  his  amorous  advances 
immediately  after  the  pair  entered  the  "den."  On  such 
occasions,  androgynes  usually  undress.]  Further  evi- 
dence was  that  his  web  system  of  alarms  had  not  been 
set.  It  was  his  invariable  custom,  on  retiring  or 
when  he  went  out,  to  do  this.  There  was  no  sign  of 
forcible  entrance  of  the  ground-floor  apartment. 
Therefore  X  is  believed  to  have  freely  admitted  the 
man  who  was  to  murder  him — probably  such  a  chance 
acquaintance  as  he  appears  frequently  to  have  made  in 
his  saunterings  through  the  city's  streets  and  visits 
to  its  resorts. 

The  examination  of  medical  experts  resulted  in 
the  hour  of  the  crime  being  placed  between  nine  and 
eleven  of  the  evening  previous. 

Made  No  Outcry 

It  being  evident  that  X  had  survived  the  first  at- 
tack at  least  for  a  few  minutes  before  he  finally  suc- 
cumbed under  the  raining  blows  of  the  sabre,  the  police 
were  puzzled  to  understand  why,  with  his  life  at  stake, 
the  man  did  not  make  an  outcry.  There  was  only  a 
single  wall  separating  the  scene  of  combat  from  the 
public  lobby  where  were  stationed  throughout  the 
night  a  telephone  operator  and  an  elevator  attendant. 
Tests  made  showed  that  a  shout  of  medium  volume 
from  the  "den"  could  be  distinctly  heard  in  the  lobby. 
The  attendants  were  positive  they  had  heard  no  calls 
for  help. 


230  Death  Preferred  to  Disclosure. 

One  of  the  puzzles,  therefore,  was  to  determine 
the  character  of  X's  murderous  guest  and  the  circum- 
stances of  his  visit.  Had  X  reason  so  grave  for  con- 
cealment of  the  presence  of  his  slayer  as  to  prevent 
him  from  calling  for  aid  even  with  death  immediately 
upon  him?  [X's  consciousness  of  being  a  sexual  eccen- 
tric would  likely  be  an  inhibition  to  his  alarming  those 
who  lived  in  the  same  house.  He  probably  did  not  sus- 
pect that  the  servants  saw  through  everything.  Be- 
tween death  and  the  disclosure  to  his  co-tenants  that 
he  was  a  sexual  eccentric,  he  probably  chose  the  form- 
er.] None  of  the  wounds  was  in  his  throat.  The  blow 
that  fractured  his  skull  must  have  been  among  the  last 
as  indicated  by  the  evidence  that  X  had  fought  his 
slayer  long  and  hard. 

Motive  Not  Clear 

A  diamond  ring,  whose  value  must  have  been  close 
to  $1,000,  habitually  worn,  together  with  X's  gold 
watch  and  chain,  were  taken.  Very  little  money  was 
found  in  his  clothing,  whereas  it  was  known  he  usually 
carried  large  sums.  But  there  were  at  hand  heavy 
solid  silver  articles,  and  gold  ornaments,  and  valuable 
jewelry  in  a  frail  desk — none  of  which  had  been  taken. 
Only  X's  body  had  been  stripped.  The  police  were 
convinced  that  the  robbery  was  committed  to  conceal 
another  deeper  motive,  as  suggested  by  the  savage 
maltreatment  of  X's  body. 

Whatever  the  motive,  the  murderer  entered  the 
apartment  unseen  that  night  and  departed  unseen. 
The  police  made  haste  to  interview  all  persons  whom 
they  could  trace  as  having  been  associated  with  X. 
There  was  a  young  sailor  whom  X  had  lately  befriend- 


A  Secret  Guest.  231 

ed  and  who  had  been  his  guest  for  several  days.  This 
youth  was  traced  to  his  ship  and  his  presence  aboard 
the  night  of  the  murder  established. 

One  clue  was  a  bit  of  cardboard  on  which  was 
scribbled,  in  X's  handwriting,  the  latter's  address.  It 
looked  as  if  made  hastily  for  the  guidance  of  the 
stranger  guest  to  X's  apartment.  [And  in  the  apart- 
ment thrown  away  as  being  no  longer  of  use.] 

No  slightest  clue  to  the  identity  of  the  slayer  was 
uncovered. 

THE  MURDER  OF  Y 

On  the  night  of  [date  omitted  by  author  of  The 
Female-Impersonators]  just  twenty-nine  days  after 
the  murder  of  X,  Y  was  slain  in  his  home  nearby.  The 
two  murders  instantly  linked.  For  the  two  crimes  pre- 
sented an  almost  perfect  parallel.  The  scene  was  the 
same — an  elaborately  furnished  "den."  As  with  X, 
Y's  murderer  had  been  his  guest.  A  secret  guest — in 
that  nobody  saw  him  enter  Y's  residence,  no  sound  be- 
trayed him  in  the  act  of  killing,  and  he  managed  to 
leave  the  "den"  and  Y's  house  unobserved. 

Of  astonishingly  the  same  stamp  were  X  and  Y. 
Both  were  elderly  bachelors  and  art  connoisseurs. 
[The  latter  an  earmark  of  cultured  androgynism.] 
Both  had  specialized  in  the  collection  of  ancient  and 
curious  weapons.  Both  were  addicted  to  an  extrava- 
gant display  of  jewelry  on  their  persons.  [Andro- 
gynes are  loud  dressers.]  Both  lived  in  dread  of  at- 
tack in  their  homes  and  had  made  elaborate  prepara- 
tions against  the  possibility.  Inspection  of  the  lives 
of  both  found  them  oddly  empty  of  attachment  to  or 


232      Loathing  of  Androgynes  a  Murder  Motive. 

association  with  women.  Both  had  a  disposition  for 
the  society  of  much  younger  men,  and  had  many  such 
acquaintances. 

Living  in  the  same  neighborhood,  frequenting  the 
same  hotels  and  restaurants,  visiting  the  same  art  gal- 
leries and  antique  shops  as  they  were  tireless  in  doing, 
it  was  rather  to  be  expected  that  they  were  found  to 
have  been  close  friends. 

The  indicated  motive  for  both  murders  was  rob- 
bery but  in  both  cases  only  the  valuables  used  in  per- 
sonal adornment  were  stolen,  while  other  jewels,  and 
silver  and  gold  objects  of  art  and  service,  plainly  in 
sight,  were  ignored.  [Robbery  being  only  a  blind, 
loathing  of  sexual  eccentricity  being  the  true  motive.] 

In  only  two  particulars  did  the  crimes  differ :  X 
was  hacked  to  death;  Y  was  strangled  by  the  bare 
hands  of  his  assailant.  The  marks  of  relentless  fingers 
were  deeply  imbedded  in  the  victim's  neck.  The  other 
difference  was  that  in  Y's  case,  there  had  been  no 
struggle.  He  had  had  no  chance  to  put  up  a  fight  for 
his  life.  He  had  been  taken  by  surprise  and  the  stran- 
gler's  grip  been  clamped  on  his  throat  before  he  could 
make  outcry. 

Y  was  fifty-nine  years  old,  and  a  native  of  rural 
Illinois.  He  had  prospered  as  owner  of  a  fashionable 
ladies'  dress-making  concern  in  New  York.  But  he 
had  retired  and  at  the  time  he  was  murdered  was  rent- 
ing an  ex-mansion  of  a  millionaire,  where  he  conducted 
a  boarding-house  of  the  highest  class.  There  were 
twenty  lodgers,  but  scores  of  additional  persons  living 
in  the  aristocratic  neighborhood  took  their  meals  at 
Y's.  He  frequently  organized  card  parties  and  dances 
for  his  guests,  and  to  these  were  always  invited  freely 


Murderer  Mandatory  of  Society!  233 

young  men  in  war  service  on  leave  in  New  York. 
[Warriors  are  androgynes'  special  heroes.  A  common 
soldiers'  and  sailors'  club  was  situated  next  door, 
where  Y  apparently  made  many  acquaintances.] 

Y's  body  was  found  at  seven  A.  M.  [date  here 
omitted]  by  George,  one  of  Y's  eleven  negro  servants. 
[Y  conducted  his  establishment  on  the  plan  of  a  multi- 
millionaire's residence.]  It  was  George's  daily  duty 
to  go  to  his  employer's  room  on  the  first  floor,  directly 
over  the  kitchen,  awaken  him  at  seven,  and  serve  him 
breakfast  in  bed.  On  that  morning,  George,  receiving 
no  reply  to  his  knock,  pushed  the  door  open  and  entered 
the  elaborately  furnished  "den"  and  bedroom. 

Strangled  to  Death 

The  bed  was  in  order,  and  the  body  of  Y  on  the 
floor  nearby  was  clad  only  in  pajamas.  [Apparently 
the  assassin  had  pretended  he  was  going  to  retire  with 
Y.  Therefore  Y  got  into  his  night  clothes,  as  also 
probably  the  assassin.  But  just  before  the  bed  covers 
would  have  been  turned  down  the  latter  fulfilled  his 
mandate  from  society  by  "ridding  New  York  of  the 
monster!"]  An  autopsy  showed  that  indubitably  Y 
had  been  strangled  to  death.  The  deep,  purple  marks 
on  his  throat  were  valueless  as  furnishing  finger-print 
evidence,  but  they  did  stamp  the  murderer's  hands  as 
large  and  very  strong.  [Androgynes  cultivate  only  the 
best  physically  developed.]  Y  had  been  suddenly  at- 
tacked by  the  strangler  and  immediately  choked  into 
helplessness,  for  nothing  in  the  room  had  been  dis- 
turbed. He  had  been  borne  down  to  death  on  the  very 
spot  where  seized. 


234  A  Trusted  Murderer. 

Y's  "den"  was  the  scene  of  many  late-hour  parties, 
in  which  young  men  figured  exclusively  as  guests. 
Frequently  also  he  returned  very  la+p  with  a  single 
companion.  His  late-hour  guests  were  never  boister- 
ous and  never  gave  caus£  for  complaint  by  Y's  refined 
lodgers. 

As  in  the  case  of  X's  apartment,  Y's  house  gave 
no  evidence  of  a  forcible  entry.  Physicians  determined 
that  Y's  death  had  occurred  at  eleven  the  night  before 
the  body  was  discovered.  At  that  hour  the  outer  doors 
of  the  house  were  always  locked.  Many  of  the  lodgers 
and  some  of  the  negro  servants  had  not  yet  retired,  and 
must  have  heard,  it  would  seem,  a  ringing  of  the  door- 
bell.   None  did. 

Probably  an  Expected  Guest 

The  conjecture  was  consequently  made  that  Y  had 
appointed  a  late  meeting  with  his  murderous  guest  and 
given  him  a  key  to  his  house  that  he  might  enter  quiet- 
ly. Of  fully  twenty-five  persons  in  the  house  at  the 
time,  not  one  heard  the  slighest  sound  of  distress  or 
noise  of  any  kind  from  the  "den"  at  the  hour  of  the 
murder. 

Even  more  futile  than  in  the  case  of  X  were  the 
efforts  of  the  investigators  to  round  up  the  many 
young  men  [evidently  bachelors  from  eighteen  to  twen- 
ty-five] whose  acquaintance  Y  was  constantly  making. 

Three  diamond  rings  of  a  value  of  $2,000  had  been 
stripped  from  the  dead  man's  fingers,  and  his  gold 
watch  and  chain  were  taken.  But  as  at  X's  assassina- 
tion, many  articles  of  jewelry  and  of  gold  and  silver 
easily  accessible  were  not  touched. 


A  Conscientious  Murderer.  235 

Alike  in  mystery,  the  cases  of  both  X  and  Y  mani- 
fest the  strong  likelihood  that  the  same  man  effected 
both  murders,  with  a  suggestion  of  a  deeper  motive 
than  robbery,  of  a  desire  to  do  violence  aroused  to 
frenzy,  judging  by  the  stark  ferocity  with  which  both 
crimes  were  committed. 

[The  motive  of  course  was  to  rid  New  York  of 
androgynes ;  at  least,  extensively  promiscuous  ones.  It 
is  quite  likely  the  same  prude  was  guilty  of  both  mur- 
ders. Perhaps  at  first  the  assassin  had  known  merely 
through  hearsay  that  both  X  and  Y  were  sexual  ec- 
centrics. But  he  was  reasonable  and  merciful  enough 
not  to  put  them  out  of  the  way  until  he  possessed  ocu- 
lar evidence.  (I  have  myself  associated  with  torturers 
who  would  act  only  on  such.)  For  X's  and  Y's  mur- 
derer was  solemnly  and  conscientious1  y  acting  as  the 
mandatory  of  socisty. 

[From  the  murder  of  X  he  had  learned  that  an 
androgyne  might  put  up  resistance.  Therefore  in  the 
case  of  his  second  quarry,  Y,  he  must  adopt  a  safer, 
more  sudden,  and  an  absolutely  noiseless  means  of  exe- 
cution. In  sabre-slaughtering,  there  was  too  much 
risk  of  the  victim  calling  for  help.  Moreover,  X  lived 
all  by  himself,  whereas  Y's  residence  was  alive  with 
people.  Androgynes  like  to  be  treated  by  their  virile 
associates  as  if  women,  and  the  ultra-virile  always 
humor  that  liking.  The  assassin  probably  started  in 
with  a  pretended  "love"  embrace,  and,  before  Y  could 
realize,  turned  it  into  a  strangling  death-grip. 

[I  will  admit  that  X  and  Y  were  extensively  pro- 
miscuous. But  they  could  not  have  been  particularly 
intemperate  because  my  own  experience  proved  that 
excessive  venery  soon  wrecks  the  health  of  an  andro- 


236  X  and  Y  Offenceless. 

gyne.  As  both  were  close  to  sixty,  their  lives  had 
doubtless  been  temperate.  They  had  probably  in- 
dulged (the  more  humiliating  role  in  fellatio)  not  more 
than  once  a  week  throughout  their  adulthood.  But  al- 
though they  apparently  sought  intimacy  with  almost 
every  adolescent  Adonis  or  Hercules  (only  one  out  of 
every  twenty  adolescents  could  qualify  under  either  of 
these  types)  whose  acquaintance  they  made,  they 
harmed  these  youthful  rakes  not  in  the  least;  nor  did 
they,  throughout  their  lives,  bring  detriment  to  any 
one  else  since  all  androgynes  possess  the  inoffensive 
psyche  of  women.  For  proof  of  the  harmlessness 
to  an  adolescent  of  an  androgyne  intimate,  I  refer  to 
my  Autobiography  of  an  Androgyne,  pages  88,  89, 
and  194. 

[Far  from  the  adolescent  suffering  harm,  he  is 
loaded  with  material  benefits  by  the  well-to-do  andro- 
gyne who  worships  him.  He  is  pre-eminently  a  "lucky 
dog." 

[X  and  Y  were  entirely  irresponsible  for  being  an- 
drogynes and  sexual  eccentrics.  Absolutely  no  harm 
came  to  any  individual  or  to  society  collectively 
through  their  condition  or  instinctive  functioning. 
They  did  not  deserve  that  any  one  interfere  with  their 
life,  liberty,  and  pursuit  of  happiness.] 


Newspaper  Accounts  of  Murders.  237 


II.    Z  Mystery  Baffles  Inquiry  at  Every  Angle. 

(Much  condensed,  and  slightly  edited  for  diction,  by 
author  of  The  Female-Impersonators,  from 
article  in  a  New  York  daily.) 

NO  PROOF  OF  SUICIDE  AND  NO  MOTIVE  FOR  MURDER 
FOUND  IN  CASE  OF  YOUTH  STRANGLED  ABOARD  HIS 
OWN  POWER  YACHT — FRIENDS  INSIST  DEATH  WAS 
AN  ASSASSIN'S  WORK — DRESSING  OF  THE  BODY  IN 
WOMAN'S  CLOTHING  FURNISHES  NO  CLUES  TO 
FAMILY  OR  POLICE— FULL  DETAILS  FOR  STUDENTS 
OF  CRIME  TO   STUDY 

After  two  weeks  of  many-sided  investigation,  the 
death  of  Z  remains  as  great  a  mystery  as  on  the 
evening  of  [date  omitted  by  author  of  The  Female- 
Impersonators]  when  his  mother  discovered  him 
strangled  aboard  his  power  yacht  in  New  York  Harbor 
dressed  in  woman's  apparel. 

"No  reason  for  suicide  and  no  motive  for 
murder — no  proof  of  suicide,  no  positive  evidence  of 
murder."  Such  is  the  conclusion  reached  by  the  po- 
lice, private  investigators  employed  by  Z's  family,  and 
by  newspaper  reporters  who  have  worked  on  the  baf- 
fling case  unique  for  its  mass  of  contradictory  theories 
and  circumstances. 

[And  to  the  present  writer,  himself  an  androgyne 
and  instinctive  cross-dresser,  the  strongest  of  reasons 
for  suicide  and  the  strongest  of  motives  for  murder! 
Androgynes,  because  so  terribly  misjudged  by  their 


238  A  Psychopathic  Individuality. 

associates,  are  the  most  melancholy  and  prone  to 
suicide  of  any  class  of  mankind.  Moreover,  they  are 
often  murdered  on  the  strong  motive  of  intense  loath- 
ing felt  by  prudes  ignorant  of  abnormal  psychology,  in 
whose  eyes  the  androgyne  is  a  "sodomite,"  with  all 
the  terrible,  though  false,  connotation  of  that  term. 
Such  prudes  believe  themselves  mandatories  of  society 
to  rid  the  world  of  the  "monster."  The  present  writer 
did  some  detective  work  in  this  case  "on  his  own  hook." 
He  ascertained  that  in  the  circle  of  those  who  knew  Z 
by  sight  but  were  not  personal  friends,  he  had  the 
reputation  of  being  a  fellator.  I  interviewed  several 
of  this  circle,  but  did  not  dare  thrust  myself  into  that 
of  Z's  close  friends.] 

The  view  of  the  police  generally  is  that  the  death 
was  clearly  suicide.  But  as  to  how  the  suicide  was 
accomplished,  police  officers  hold  theories  no  two  of 
which  agree. 

Family  Sure  Z  Was  Murdered 

Z's  family,  his  closest  chum,  and  his  friends  gen- 
erally, maintained  from  the  first,  and  still  believe,  that 
Z  was  murdered  aboard  the  yacht  by  an  assassin  who 
secreted  himself  in  one  of  the  cabins  and  afterwards 
escaped  in  a  fashion  equally  mysterious. 

The  fact  that  young  Z  wore  woman's  clothing  is 
to  the  police  the  strongest  evidence  of  suicide  and 
supplies  to  them  evidence  of  a  psychopathic  individu- 
ality. [That  fact  is  to  myself  the  strongest  evidence 
of  murder  since  I  have  repeatedly  witnessed  the  in- 
tense revulsion  of  prudish  bigots  at  any  cross-sex 
phenomenon,  and  have  been  myself  half-murdered 
solely  on  this  incentive.] 


Families  Ignorant  of  Bisexual  Members.        239 

Opposed  to  this  is  the  most  positive  assertion 
from  Z's  family  and  friends:  (1)  That  he  was  a 
normal  boy  in  every  respect.  [In  nearly  every  case 
of  a  cultured  androgyne  in  the  past,  his  family  have 
never  suspected  anything  because  of  the  veil  of  silence 
that  the  deluded  public  has  insisted  be  thrown  over 
the  phenomenon  of  androgynism  and  the  consequent 
absolute  ignorance  of  the  truth  about  this  phenomenon 
on  the  part  of  the  entire  Overworld  excepting  a  hand- 
ful of  sexologists.  Just  to  throw  their  associates  off 
the  scent,  some  cultured  androgynes  purposely  do  some 
courting  of  females,  and  have  even  contracted  a 
marriage  (of  course,  Platonic)  as  mentioned  by 
Phyllis  in  the  last  chapter  of  Part  Five.  Moreover, 
some  androgynes  are  psychic  hermaphrodites  and 
capable  of  sincerity  in  courting  a  girl,  while  at  the 
same  time  Nature  insists  on  occasional  female-imper- 
sonation sprees.  Z  might  have  been  a  psychic 
hermaphrodite.] 

(2)  That  he  had  never  shown  any  suicidal  tenden- 
cies. [Readers  of  my  Autobiography  of  an  Andro- 
gyne know  that  I  probably  showed  more  suicidal  ten- 
dencies than  almost  any  one  else  who  has  failed  to  carry 
them  out;  yet  I  always  hid  them  absolutely  from  my 
family  and  every-day  associates.  Androgynes,  because 
they  do  not  want  their  friends  to  become  aware  of  the 
cause  of  their  melancholia  (fearing  it  would  alienate 
them,  as  at  present  no  one  can  forgive  cross-sexism  in 
an  intimate)  habitually  suffer  in  silence  and  seclusion 
the  most  intense  mental  torture.] 

(3)  That  no  kind  of  woman's  wear  was  ever 
known  to  be  in  his  possession.  [For  years  together  I 
have  myself  kept  woman's  wear  under  lock  and  key 


240        Many  Female-Impersonation  Explosions. 

and  occasionly  put  it  on,  but  none  of  my  every-day 
associates  ever  discovered  these  facts.  Cultured 
androgynes  always  conceal  such  practices  because 
their  every-day  bigoted  circles  would  make  them 
pariahs.] 

And  as  yet  nobody  has  been  able  to  find  where  Z 
got  the  feminine  apparel.  [It  was  later  discovered 
he  had  bought  it  of  a  ladies'  outfitter.]  Nearly  every 
article  found  on  him  was  soiled  and  showed  unmistak- 
able signs  of  wear.  [He  had  probably  worn  the 
articles  on  scores  of  female-impersonation  sprees. 
Cultured  androgynes  never  let  their  families  get  an 
inkling  of  these  psychic  explosions.] 

Z  was  twenty-one.  The  boy  received  a  common- 
school  education,  but  left  high-school  in  the  second 
year  to  work  in  the  large  manufacturing  establishment 
of  his  father.  He  had  a  strong  bent  for  mechanics. 
He  took  care  of  the  family's  three  automobiles,  as  well 
as  a  motor-cycle.  Three  years  ago  his  father  gave 
him  a  motor-yacht,  which  he  himself  took  care  of. 

During  the  World  War,  Z  enlisted  as  mechanician 
in  the  navy,  but  was  assigned  to  shore  duty  near  New 
York  throughout  the  war.1  [There  exist  all  degrees 
of  psychic  effemination  in  androgynes.  I  estimate  my 
own  proportions  as  woman,  80  per  cent;  man,  20. 
Evidently  Z  was  around  60,  woman  and  40,  man, 
judging  by  his  willingness  to  take  a  fire-arm  into  his 
hands,  a  thing  which  I  would  never  do,  even  as  a  child 
shrinking  from  a  cap-pistol.  X  and  Y  likewise  were 
less  extreme  effeminants  than  myself.  They  would 
put  up  a  resistance  if  attacked,  whereas  I  depended  for 
escape  merely  on  entreaty  or  flight  (Nature  gave  me 

1  See  note  beginning  bottom  page  254. 


Androgyne  Expedients.  241 

the  legs  of  a  gazelle)  ;  or  if  they  failed  me,  I  pretended 
loss  of  consciousness  after  the  first  terrific  blow. 
Through  this  complete  passivity,  I  came  out  far  better 
than  if  I  had  shown  fight,  and  probably  saved  myself, 
on  several  occasions,  from  being  one  hundred  per  cent 
murdered.] 

Z  often  practiced  with  a  revolver  at  a  target  in 
the  basement  of  his  home.  [He  was  pay-master  in 
his  father's  factory  and  often  had  in  his  possession 
large  sums,  and  had  to  know  how  to  defend  himself 
from  robbers.]  His  rifle  was  found  on  his  boat, 
together  with  cartridges,  on  the  day  of  his  death. 
Why,  if  he  intended  suicide,  did  he  not  use  his  revolver, 
or  else  the  rifle  that  was  handy  at  the  time  on  the  boat  ? 
[This,  to  me,  is  conclusive  evidence  of  murder  or  man- 
slaughter.] 

Z  possessed  the  only  key  to  the  cabin  of  the  boat. 
The  family  say  there  were  originally  two  keys,  but 
the  duplicate  was  "lost"  about  a  year  ago.  [Possibly 
Z  staged  all  his  female-impersonation  sprees  on  his 
yacht  and  so  gave  the  duplicate  to  an  idol  before  whom 
he  regularly  posed,  just  as  I  have  given  a  trusted  idol 
a  key  to  enter  my  own  apartment  whenever  he  felt 
like  it.] 

In  High  Spirits 

On  the  afternoon  preceding  the  day  of  his  death, 
Z  took  his  motor-cycle  apart  in  order  to  renew  some 
mechanism.  On  his  last  evening  alive,  he  was  in  high 
spirits,  setting  every  one  of  his  circle  laughing.  So 
far  from  being  depressed,  he  seemed  flushed  with 
happiness  at  the  prospect  of  future  success  in  business, 
having  only  just  received  a  promotion.      [His  unusual 


242  Androgynes  Compelled  to  Fabricate. 

happiness  on  the  very  eve  of  the  murder  might  indicate 
that  he  had  just  succeeded  in  coming  to  terms  with  a 
new  idol,  who,  however,  the  next  afternoon,  on  dis- 
covering how  "deeply  depraved"  Z  was,  strangled  him 
with  the  rope.  I  myself  have  several  times  been 
half-murdered  under  similar  circumstances.  I  have 
also  been  elevated  into  the  third  heaven  of  bliss  on 
receiving  a  favorable  message  from  an  idol.] 

On  the  morning  of  the  day  of  Z's  death,  he  called 
on  a  friend  who  was  to  give  a  party  in  a  few  days, 
and  assured  the  latter  he  would  be  present.  He  then 
ate  noon  lunch  with  his  family.  It  was  his  father's 
birthday,  and  Z  promised  to  take  the  family  out  for  an 
automobile  ride  in  the  late  afternoon.  Right  after 
lunch,  Z  remarked :  "I'll  first  make  a  trip  to  the  boat 
to  pump  the  water  out.  It  hasn't  been  touched  for  a 
week,  and  you  know  how  the  water  accumulates  under 
the  engine.  I  won't  be  gone  long."  [It  was  two 
miles  from  Z's  residence  to  the  boat;  twenty  minutes, 
by  motor-cycle,  to  get  on  board.  The  reason  given 
impresses  me  as  a  mere  pretext  to  hide  his  appoint- 
ment on  the  launch  and  prospective  female-imperson- 
ation— because  the  pretext  sounds  just  like  me.  I  am 
one  who  has  been  compelled  to  falsify  much  because  if 
my  associates  had  been  granted  the  truth,  they  would 
have  impiously  crushed  me.  In  my  university  course 
in  ethics,  I  was  taught  that  it  is  proper  to  tell  a  lie  if 
the  persons  deceived  have  no  right  to  the  truth.  Al- 
ways those  whom  I  deceived  had  no  right,  because  the 
truth  would  have  rendered  them  insanely  cruel.] 

In  a  jovial  mood  [because  about  to  meet  his  idol, 
I  suspect]  Z  departed  on  his  motor-cycle  at  1 :30.  On 
the  way  he  stopped  at  a  dealer's — full  of  laughter 


Probably  Man-Slaughter.  243 

here  also — and  filled  his  cycle  tank  with  a  gallon  of 
gasoline.  [Two  indications  against  suicide.]  At  the 
wharf,  he  was  seen  to  take  oars  out  of  his  locker  and 
row  to  his  power-boat  anchored  fifty  yards  out.  He 
was  next  seen,  by  two  men  on  a  yacht  anchored  fifty 
feet  from  his  own,  to  disappear  down  into  his  cabin. 
[The  last  declaration  by  any  one  of  having  seen  Z 
before  discovered  dead  in  his  cabin.]  These  two  men 
remained  on  the  deck  of  their  anchored  launch  all  the 
afternoon  until  5  :30,  and  both  are  positive  that  Z  did 
not  reappear  on  his  deck.  They  are  equally  positive 
that  no  one  came  from  or  went  to  Z's  launch. 

The  owner  of  the  power-boat  continuously  anch- 
ored on  the  other  side  of  Z's  was  aboard  from  2 :30 
until  4 :30,  and  is  positive  no  one  approached  Z's  boat 
from  that  side.  The  owner  of  a  third  power-boat 
continuously  anchored  thirty-five  feet  from  Z's  in  an- 
other direction  also  spent  the  afternoon  on  board,  and 
tells  the  same  story.  Two  men  [custodians  and  rent- 
ers of  boats]  busy  all  the  afternoon  around  the  wharf 
fifty  yards  away  saw  no  one  go  to  or  come  from  Z's 
launch. 

[To  me  the  most  probable  solution  of  Z's  death 
is  that  it  was  neither  murder  nor  suicide,  but 
accidental  man-slaughter.  Perhaps  Z  had  the  habit, 
to  satisfy  his  mania  for  female-impersonation,  of  tak- 
ing on  his  yacht  as  an  audience  young  bachelors  who 
owned  launches  usually  anchored  near  his  own.  Per- 
haps a  launch,  on  that  Sunday  afternoon  ideal  for 
yachting,  was  kept  at  anchor  near  Z's  because  its  own- 
er had  plotted  to  teach  Z  a  lesson,  with  the  "good" 
intention  of  curing  him  of  his  habit  of  female-imper- 
sonation,   believing — as    nearly    every    one  'does    at 


244  Torturing  an  Androgyne. 

present  because  prohibited  by  public  opinion  from 
learning  the  truth — that  it  is  a  wilful  bad  habit. 
When  Z  had  rigged  himself  in  feminine  garb  (because 
the  female  side  of  his  duality  demanded  it),  one  or 
more  of  the  young  men  from  one  of  the  anchored 
yachts — according  to  my  theory — had  tied  ropes 
around  him,  even  around  his  neck,  the  latter  merely 
in  order  to  frighten  him  and  prevent  his  calling  for 
help.  The  newspapers  stated  that  only  a  "seaman" 
could  display  such  skill  in  tying  ropes,  and  these 
yachtsmen  were  amateur  seamen.  They  then,  late  in 
the  afternoon,  after  they  had  had  their  "fun"  with  the 
pitiable  androgyne,  went  ashore,  having  no  thought 
that  the  rope  around  the  throat  would  tighten  suffi- 
ciently to  strangle  Z.  They  designed  merely  to  punish 
him  for  his  androgynism  (1)  through  his  being  com- 
pelled to  lie  helpless  on  the  cabin  floor  for  several 
hours,  with  a  rope  tight  around  his  neck  to  prevent 
him  calling  for  help,  and,  (2)  more  than  that,  through 
humilating  him  before  his  family,  who  finally,  anxious 
over  his  not  returning  home,  would  visit  the  yacht  and 
discover  him  in  his  most  ignominious  garb  and  predica- 
ment. 

[But  Z,  in  his  writhings  to  free  himself  from  his 
bonds,  unfortunately  tightened  the  rope  about  his  neck 
and  was  fatally  strangled,  the  young  men  having  de- 
parted and  no  one  being  at  hand  to  succor  him  in  his 
death  agony.  Z  was  only  one  more  of  the  many 
martyrs  to  the  public's  prohibition  of  the  showing  up 
of  the  myth  that  bisexuals  are  monsters  of  depravity, 
deserving  the  crudest  forms  of  torture  and  even 
murder.  Those  guilty  of  Z's  death — under  the  theory 
now  being  propounded — were  fundamentally  irrespon- 


Church  and  Public  Opinion  Guilty.  245 

sible.  The  guilt  lies  with  the  Church  and  public 
opinion,  both  of  which  teach  that  no  punishment  is 
too  bad  for  an  androgyne. 

[A  few  days  after  Z's  death,  I  wrote  letters  to  Z's 
father  giving  all  my  theories.  I  desired  to  do  all  I 
could  to  avenge  my  brother  in  calamity  by  bringing 
his  assailants  to  justice.  It  would  not  be  surprising 
if  Z's  father  was  disinclined  to  press  matters  because 
of  shame  over  the  son's  being  an  androgyne  combined 
with  the  public's  so  terribly  misjudging  androgynism. 
Z's  near  neighbor,  a  young  college  graduate  whom  I 
"pumped,"  told  me  first  that  the  fact  at  the  bottom  of 
Z's  death  "was  of  such  nature  that  it  could  not  be 
discussed"!  I  could  get  at  the  truth  only  by  putting 
repeated  frank  questions,  since  he  labored  under  the 
terrible  delusion  that  sex  is  a  subject  beyond  dis- 
cussion. This  college  man  expressed  the  opinion  that 
Z  was  wilfully  depraved  and  "got  all  that  was  coming 
to  him."  I  interviewed  several  others  who  knew  the 
Z  family  merely  by  sight  and  reputation.  They  all 
showed  intense  antipathy,  being  of  the  opinion 
that  a  family's  having  an  androgyne  relative  was 
sufficient  cause  for  its  ostracism. 

[A  personal  parallel :  To  only  one  member  of  my 
own  family — a  brother — have  I  ever  confessed  my 
addiction  to  female-impersonation  sprees.  I  did  it 
twenty  years  ago,  at  the  age  of  twenty-seven,  because 
I  then  had  enemies  at  Ft.  X  (at  the  time  my  regular 
stamping-ground)  who  hated  androgynism  so  fiercely 
as  to  be  capable  of  murdering  an  individual  in  whom 
the  phenomenon  cropped  up.  I  therefore  explained 
matters  to  a  brother:  that  if  ever  I  was  found  mur- 
dered, to  look  for  my  assassin  among  the  common 


246    Androgynes'  Relations  Ashamed  to  Prosecute. 

soldiers  of  Ft.  X.  He  replied :  "Ralph,  if  you  are  ever 
murdered  on  one  of  your  female-impersonation  sprees, 
the  family  would  be  too  much  ashamed  ever  to  take 
the  first  step  to  bring  your  murderer  to  justice!"] 

At  the  supper  hour,  Z's  mother  telephoned  to  the 
wharf  and  was  informed  her  son  had  not  returned 
from  his  yacht.  Fearing  he  had  met  with  an  accident, 
she  and  her  daughter  went  by  automobile  to  the  wharf, 
arriving  at  6  :30.  It  was  then  almost  dark.  A  boat- 
man rowed  the  mother,  shivering  nervously,  to  the 
launch.  As  Mrs.  Z  descended  the  forward  hatch,  her 
foot  struck  a  human  body  lying  at  the  foot  of  the 
steps,  face  downward.  She  felt  the  hands,  which 
stuck  out  above  the  body,  and  found  them  cold. 

"Linnie  has  fainted!"  Mrs.  Z  exclaimed.  She 
hastily  lighted  a  lantern,  while  the  boatman  remained 
at  the  top  of  the  short  flight  of  stairs,  apparently 
paralyzed  with  fear.  But  having  a  light,  Mrs.  Z 
discovered  the  inert  body  to  be  clothed  in  a  long  blue 
dress,  while  the  head  was  covered  with  a  black  oilcloth 
hag.  [Such  covering  of  the  head  indicates  non- 
suicide.  The  man-killer  covered  Z's  head  because, 
before  abandoning  him  with  the  rope  around  his  neck, 
he  (or  they)  tormented  and  tortured  Z.  I  have  myself 
had  a  handkerchief  thrust  into  my  mouth  to  prevent 
an  outcry  and  been  thereupon  tortured  merely  because 
of  insane  loathing  of  androgynism.] 

Mrs.  Z  now  exclaimed:  "Why,  it's  a  woman! 
She's  been  strangled,  and  Linnie's  not  here !" 

Overcome  with  terror,  she  left  the  boat  without 
further  examination.  Mr.  Z,  when  his  wife  greeted 
him  with  the  f ranctic  cry :  "A  woman  has  been  strang- 
led on  our  yacht!"  immediately  visited  it.      He  re- 


Father's  Assertions  Discarded.  247 

moved  the  hood  from  the  form  on  the  cabin  floor,  and 
in  amazement  recognized  the  face  of  his  son.  Around 
the  neck  was  a  tightened  noose  of  Manila  rope  tied 
with  a  hangman's  knot.  Mr.  Z  is  positive  the  knot 
was  at  the  back  of  the  neck.  [This  position  is  an  in- 
dication of  non-suicide.  A  suicide  would  naturally 
have  placed  the  knot  in  front.]  Unable  to  loosen  the 
knot,  Mr.  Z  cut  the  rope.  He  noticed  that  both  his 
son's  hands  were  behind  the  back,  apparently  tied  with 
a  sash  cord,  although  he  did  not  think  to  make  sure 
both  were  tied.  For,  finding  the  body  cold,  he  was 
convulsed  with  grief  and  immediately  left  without 
making  further  examination. 

The  next  arrivals  were  policemen. 

The  Homicide  bureau  contends  that  although 
there  was  a  slip-knot  around  the  left  hand,  the  right 
was  free  and  Z  used  one  or  both  hands  to  draw  the 
hangman's  noose  about  his  neck.  This  theory  pre- 
supposes that  the  knot  was  at  the  throat,  and  discards 
the  father's  assertion  that  it  was  at  the  back  of  the 
neck. 

Z's  ankles  were  tied  together  with  rope,  as  were 
his  knees  and  arms.  [A  queer  way  to  commit  suicide 
for  the  victim  to  take  the  greatest  pains  to  make 
people  think  he  had  been  murdered !  And  when  there 
were  a  rifle  and  cartridges  on  board  the  launch !  And 
only  an  hour  or  two  before  in  a  jovial  mood,  and  laying 
in  a  supply  of  gasoline !]  A  medical  examiner  calcu- 
lated that  death  had  occurred  between  four  and  five 
P.  M.  The  two  men  on  the  deck  of  the  power-boat  on 
one  side  of  Z's  launch  had  gone  ashore  at  5.30,  and  the 
single  man  on  the  power-boat  on  the  other  side,  at  4.30. 
None  had  heard  any  cry  or  other  sound  from  the  Z 


248  Z's  Woman's  Apparel. 

launch  [35  to  50  feet  distant  and  on  an  ultra-still 
Sunday  afternoon  when  sounds  carry  unusually  well.] 
When  these  witnesses  went  ashore,  Z's  rowboat  was 
fastened  to  his  launch — in  the  same  position  as  when 
his  mother  arrived. 

The  woman's  apparel  in  which  Z  was  found  clad 
consisted  of  a  chemise;  corset;  corset-cover  with  rose- 
colored  baby  ribbon  running  through  the  lace;  a  pair 
of  pink  bloomers  with  ruffles  at  the  knees ;  high  black 
stockings  fastened  by  garters  to  the  corset;  a  pair  of 
high  laced  woman's  shoes,  with  French  high  heels; 
and  finally,  the  blue-checked  gingham  dress.  All  the 
apparel  fitted  Z  well. 

The  clothing  in  which  Z  had  left  home  was  found 
on  a  bunk  in  the  cabin — excepting  an  overshirt,  which 
was  pinned  over  the  porthole  nearest  the  launch  fifty 
feet  distant  on  whose  deck  two  men  spent  the 
afternoon.  Aside  from  this  circumstance,  the  police 
discovered  no  sign  of  disorder  in  any  part  of  the 
launch.  They  discovered  no  other  articles  or  circum- 
stances having  a  bearing  on  the  case.  [Androgynes 
are  in  general  non-resistant.  Z  probably  did  not 
struggle  against  his  tormentor,  as  I  myself  have  always 
been  absolutely  passive  on  such  occasions.  Any  way 
he  probably  did  not  even  imagine  that  he  was  under 
any  risk  of  death.  He  probably  expected  to  return 
home  within  an  hour — as  he  had  previously  done  after 
dozens  of  female-impersonation  explosions.} 

But  reporters,  who  later  examined  the  boat,  found 
a  thick  hickory  club  in  a  drawer.  [My  theory  is  that 
Z  was  accustomed  to  entertain  on  the  boat,  in  the 
absence  of  any  of  his  family,  adolescents  before  whom 
he  had  a  craze  to  impersonate  a  mademoiselle — the 


Assassins  of  High  Morality.  249 

common  practice  of  the  more  extreme  type  of  an- 
drogyne. He  probably  entertained  only  one  at  a  time. 
Fearing  he  might  be  attacked  by  one  of  these  perhaps 
doubtful  characters,  he  kept  the  club  for  self-defence, 
as  well  as  the  rifle  already  mentioned.  The  fact  that 
he  did  not  attempt  to  avail  himself  of  these  weapons 
on  this  occasion  indicates  that  his  assailants  were 
young  men  whose  high  morality  was  known  to  Z.] 
In  a  chest  in  an  out-of-the-way  place,  the  reporters 
found  a  bundle  of  wrapping  paper  stained  and  torn. 
Inside  was  a  metal  shoe-horn.  [My  theory  is  that  Z 
stored  his  feminine  wardrobe  in  this  paper  and  chest. 
The  paper  was  probably  that  in  which  the  feminine 
outfit  had  originally  been  brought  to  the  launch  and 
was  preserved  for  possible  use  in  carrying  it  away.] 

The  Z  family  kept  a  supply  of  beer  on  the  yacht, 
but  affirmed :  "Linnie  hated  beer  and  never  learned  to 
drink  it."  [Very  androgynesque.  Girl-boys  are  in- 
clined to  be  puritans  in  every  respect  except  female- 
impersonation  and  coquetry.] 

The  only  feminine  article  that  Z  wore  which  the 
family  recognized  was  a  multi-colored  silk  ribbon  fast- 
ened around  his  waist  and  belonging  to  a  sister. 

The  autopsy  showed  that  death  had  resulted  solely 
from  strangulation.  All  the  ropes  used  in  binding  Z 
belonged  to  his  yacht.  [The  reason  Z  was  done  to 
death  with  ropes  is  that  there  naturally  were  many  on 
board  a  yacht  and  it  was  a  noiseless  death.  There  was 
a  loaded  rifle  on  the  yacht.  That  a  noiseless  method 
was  chosen  indicates  murder  rather  than  suicide.  The 
use  of  ropes  also  indicates  a  yachtsman  as  author  of 
the  crime — because  accustomed  to  handling  ropes.  He 
lives  and  breathes  ropes.] 


250  Z  of  Androgyne  Physique. 

Z  was  five  feet  four  in  height  and  weighed  145 
pounds.  [Short  and  plump  build  characteristic  of 
androgjmes.]  The  city  medical  examiner  noted  that 
the  lower  ribs  were  "retracted,  possibly  due  to  the  use 
of  corsets."  He  also  noted  that  "the  beard  and 
moustache  are  scanty."  [Meaning  if  not  shaven  close. 
Such  scantiness  is  common  in  androgynes.] 

If  the  murder  theory  is  true,  the  assassin  must 
have  planned  to  murder  with  great  care.  [It  was  all 
done  on  the  spur  of  the  moment,  and  the  death 
probably  an  accident.]  He  must  have  had  an  accom- 
plice who  brought  him  to  the  boat  before  the  murder, 
and  took  him  away  afterward,  and  he  must  have 
known  in  some  mysterious  way  that  Z  was  going  to 
visit  the  boat  that  Sunday  afternoon.  [If  Z  was 
murdered,  he  had  had  an  appointment  on  the  yacht 
with  his  assassin.  The  latter  must  have  arrived  before 
the  yachtsmen  who  spent  the  afternoon  on  the 
closely  encircling  decks,  and  watched  that  they  go 
ashore  before  himself.  At  dusk  he  could  have 
swum  away  without  being  seen.  At  that  hour  on  a 
Sunday,  there  were  many  desolate  points  on  the  nearby 
shore  at  which  he  could  have  unobservedly  emerged. 
But  the  most  daring  criminal  would  hardly  have  com- 
mitted a  murder  with  several  men  only  a  few  feet 
away  on  the  decks  of  the  encircling  yachts.  A  single 
shriek  from  the  victim  would  have  immediately 
brought  several  men  on  board.] 

The  care  with  which  the  clothing  was  put  on  cer- 
tainly seems  to  indicate  that  Z  himself  put  it  on,  every 
article  being  properly  adjusted. 

[The  authorities,  because  ignorant  of  androgyne 
psychology  and  habits  and  despising  a  bisexual  (my- 


Author's  Oivn  Foretaste  of  Z's  Fate.  251 

self)  too  much  to  listen  to  his-her  theories,  were  on  a 
false  scent.  At  the  date  this  volume  goes  to  press 
(December,  1921) ,  the  Z  mystery — as  well  as  the  X,  Y, 
and  Q — has  not  been  cleared  up  by  the  authorities, 
although  none  of  the  four  is  much  of  a  problem  to 
myself,  knowing  how  the  world  treats  androgynes. 

[It  is  a  strange  coincidence  that  about  a  score  of 
years  before  Z  was  strangled,  within  two  miles  of  his 
yacht's  point  of  anchorage,  in  a  large  patch  of  woods 
at  night,  I  was,  as  an  aftermath  of  a  female-imperson- 
ation, being  roughly  teased  by  six  "young  fellows." 
To  cap  the  climax,  they  led  me  toward  a  tree  and  said 
they  were  "going  to  get  a  rope  and  hang"  me.  Horri- 
fied, I  feigned  an  epileptic  fit  to  save  myself.  See  my 
Autobiography  of  an  Androgyne,  page  208. 

[While  I  have  never  believed  Z  a  suicide,  it  is  a 
possibility.  A  new  idol  with  whom  he  had  had  an 
appointment  on  the  yacht  that  afternoon  might  have 
shown  utter  disgust  at  Z's  revelations — as  I  have 
myself  witnessed  in  a  confidant — and  pitilessly  aban- 
doned him.  This  misguided  attitude  might  have 
brought  on  Z  a  sympathetic  disgust  with  himself  as 
female-impersonator  and  cross-dresser.  According  to 
this  theory,  Z  wished  to  punish  and  heap  indignities  on 
his  own  body — just  as  I  have  myself,  in  my  verdant 
middle  teens,  taken  a  whip  and  chastised  my  own 
body  because  lustful,  homosexual  thoughts  had  invaded 
my  mind,  while  crying  out :  "  'O  wretched  man  that  I 
am,  who  shall  deliver  me  from  the  body  of  this  death !'  " 
Perhaps  Z  wished  to  punish  his  own  body  by  depriving 
it  of  breath  while  in  female  garb  and  so  publish  to  the 
world  the  despicableness  of  his  own  physical  person- 
ality.     In  no  other  way  could  Z's  spiritually  minded 


252  Suicide  Theory. 

psyche  better  revenge  itself  on  his  carnal  body  than 
to  have  the  latter's  grossness  proclaimed  on  the 
housetops. 

[In  case  Z  was  a  suicide,  the  idol  who  had  only  a 
few  minutes  before  pitilessly  scorned  his  advances  was 
very  likely  an  adolescent  spending  that  afternoon  on 
one  of  the  three  nearest  yachts.  As  I  have  said,  the 
case  came  to  a  curious  abrupt  ending  in  the  papers,  as 
if  the  entire  solution  had  become  known  to  those 
immediately  interested,  but  the  public  was  not  let  into 
the  secret  in  order  to  shield  unblameworthy  parties. 

[If  Z  was  a  suicide,  I  have  myself  passed  through 
a  very  similar  experience.  (See  my  Autobiography 
of  an  Androgyne,  page  235.)  Because  heartlessly 
jilted  by  a  new  idol  and  afraid  I  would  as  "a  monster 
of  depravity,"  be  cast  out  of  the  caravan  with  which  I 
was  travelling  in  an  uninhabited  region  of  the  Rockies, 
I  walked  away  in  the  forest  alone  at  dusk  a  mile  from 
camp  having  in  mind  suicide  by  being  torn  to  pieces 
by  bears,  with  which  the  forest  abounded,  and  several 
of  which  I  saw  that  night  roaming  within  a  hundred 
feet.  Like  Z,  I  had  not  left  behind  a  single  oral  or 
written  word  as  to  suicide.  I  was  acting  on  the  spur 
of  the  moment.  For  several  hours  I  experienced  such 
depths  of  sorrow  as  not  one  human  out  of  ten  thousand 
ever  tastes.  Continuously  for  an  hour,  out  of  hearing 
of  the  camp,  I  wailed  at  the  top  of  my  voice  over  my 
terrible  lot  in  life — that  of  a  despised,  hated,  and  out- 
lawed "degenerate"  (as  the  hypocritical  nine-tenths  of 
civilized  humanity  delight  to  call"  me) — and  over  the 
possibly  impending  unfathomable  disgrace  among  a 
party  of  rough  men  with  whom  I  must  travel  until  we 
got  back  to  a  railroad.     I  experienced  a  violent  desire 


Author's  Attempt  at  Suicide.  253 

to  be  devoured  by  bears.    But  the  All-Seeing  overruled 
that  they  did  not  attack  me.] 1 

1  I  had  fully  described  this  adventure  in  my  AUTOBIO- 
GRAPHY OF  AN  ANDROGYNE,  but  the  details  were  cut  out 
by  its  editor.  I  append  them  here  because  tending  to  show  that 
the  sparser  the  population  of  a  district,  the  greater  the  renug- 
nance  of  civilized  young  roues  to  androgynism  and  the  rarer 
is  the  latter  phenomenon  per  thousand  males.  In  other  words: 
My  conclusion  from  extensive  travel  and  intimate  mingling, 
as  an  ultra-androgyne,  with  native  adolescent  roues  in  every 
corner  of  the  United  States  and  Europe  is  that  among  civilized 
nations,  the  frequency  of  male  bisexuals  per  thousand  inhabi- 
tants and  their  tolerance  by  the  full-fledged  are  in  general  in 
direct  proportion  to  the  density  of  population. 

I,  a  woman-soul,  but  reputedly  a  young  man,  was  delegated 
to  write  up  an  unusual  affair  transpiring  in  a  Rocky  Mountain 
wilderness.  I  was  in  a  caravan  with  fifty  men  of  the  roughest 
type,  cowboys,  miners,  etc.  All  were  bachelors  or  grass-widow- 
ers. Day  in  and  day  out,  they  hardly  talked  of  anything  but 
prostitutes,  some  of  whom  enlivened  every  mining  or  lumbering 
camp  of  any  permanence,  although  their  rates  were  seven  times 
city  prices  and  they  laid  away  fortunes.  Some  of  the  decidedly 
lucky  prospectors,  as  well  as  occasional  city-ites  on  hunting 
trips,  were  always  accompanied  by  their  mistresses — the  city- 
ites  doubtless  glad  to  get  away  from  "friend  wife"  for  a  few 
weeks. 

I  found  the  adolescent  cowboys  and  miners  of  the  Rockies 
the  most  prejudiced  against  effeminate  males  of  any  of  the 
hundreds  of  circles  of  adolescent  roues  with  which  I  have 
mingled  as  a  girlboy.  The  first  hour,  when  I  had  not  compro- 
mised myself  in  any  way,  they  began  to  heap  up  insults,  par- 
ticularly taking  pains  to  refer  to  me  within  my  hearing  by 
the  obscene  term  most  often  used  by  roughs  for  a  girl-boy. 
(My  own  age  was  then  thirty-three,  but  my  friends  told  me  I 
looked  to  be  only  twenty-five.  I  still  possessed  the  "small-boy" 
aspect  common  among  ultra-androgynes.)  I  feared  my  forced 
sojourn  with  those  who  so  despised  effeminacy  would  be  intol- 
erable. 

But  my  plan  to  win  their  respect  succeeded.  I  exhibited  my 
credentials  as  representative  of  a  journal  of  national  reputation. 
They  never  again  insulted  me  and  I  even  became  popular. 
The  more  sensual  began  to  resort  to  terms  of  endearment  and 
embraces.  But,  while  fascinated  by  these  attentions,  I  distrust- 
ed them  to  the  extent  of  not  disclosing  my  secret  desires.  I 
knew  that  prudes  occasionally  murder  bisexuals  in  cities.  In 
the  wilds  of  the  Rockies  these  same  prudes  (only  so  far  as 
concerns    homosexuality)     could    so    easily    push    me    over    a 


254     Murdering  Androgynes  Not  Now  Necessary. 

precipice  after  tempting  me  to  a  stroll,  and  no  one  ever  learn 
my  fate.  The  tradition  is  wide  spread  that  bisexuals  must  be 
murdered.  Perhaps  the  practice  of  murdering  is  akin  to  that 
prevalent  among  some  savage  tribes  of  children  killing  their 
parents  as  soon  as  the  latter  become  too  feeble  to  hunt  and  work. 
It  was  racial  economy  to  put  out  of  the  way  those  who  could  not 
contribute  their  share  to  the  food  supply,  as  well  as  those 
impotent  to  procreate  children.  But  as  civilized  man  no 
longer  finds  it  necessary  to  the  continued  life  of  the  nation  to 
knock  in  the  head  all  citizens  as  they  reach  the  age  of  rixty, 
equally  there  is  now  no  call  for  murdering  (or  even  chastising) 
individuals  incapable  of  generation. 

But  sleeping  in  the  same  tent  and  continuously  having  to 
listen  to  confessions  of  their  amorous  adventures,  I  became 
wrought  up  as  rarely  in  my  life.  Therefore  after  a  week  of 
continuous  Platonic  association  with  the  cowboy  who  seemed 
naturally  the  most  high-minded  and  trustworthy,  I  invited  him 
for  an  evening's  stroll  in  the  forest  primaeval.  He  had  been 
brought  up  on  a  Wyoming  ranch,  never  been  inside  of  a  church, 
never  heard  a  word  read  out  of  the  Bible,  and  could  not  read 
nor  write.  He  asserted  he  had  once  been  a  rough  rider  in 
Buffalo  Bill's  show,  and  my  test  of  his  descriptions  of  the  sur- 
roundings of  Madison  Square  Garden  in  New  York  evidenced 
his  truthfulness.  I  worshipped  the  very  soil  on  which  this 
"Nature's  nobleman"  trod.  For  he  was,  in  addition,  the  hand- 
somest adolescent  in  the  caravan.  On  our  stroll  I  confessed  my- 
self an  "hermaphrodite,"  using  that  inaccurate  term  because 
it  is  known  to  every  rough  (though  by  them  always  pronounced 
incorrectly).  He  would  not  have  understood  "androgyne." 
Since  he  was  only  a  servant  in  the  caravan,  I  offered  a  large 
bill.  But  much  to  my  surprise  and  almost  to  my  death,  he 
abruptly  jilted  me  with  an  unparalleled  display  of  horror.  But 
he  promised  to  keep  the  incident  locked  in  a  chamber  of  his 
brain,  and  events  proved  him  true  blue.  My  desolate  stroll 
in  the  bear-infested  wilderness  followed  immediately. 

If  these  cowboys  and  miners,  as  well  as  all  other  men, 
instead  of  having  been,  from  boyhood,  fed  on  the  most  crime- 
provoking  of  falsehoods,  namely,  that  homosexuals  (so  called, 
though  psychicly  and  often  in  part  physically  belonging  to  the 
opposite  sex)  are  monsters  of  depravity  for  whom  no  punish- 
ment is  too  severe,  had  been  taught  that  these  sexual  cripples 
merit  only  compassion,  I  would  myself  have  been  spared  those 
hours  of  excruciating  anguish  in  the  forest,  and  hundreds  of 
youthful  androgynes  would  not  have  committed  suicide. 

Note  to  page  240. — This  comment  so  developed  that  I  was 
compelled  to  make  it  a  footnote.  The  assignment  to  shore 
duty  might  indicate  that  Z's  immediate  superiors  might  have 
noticed    that    he    was    of    soft    disposition,    an    earmark    of 


Visit  to  Fort  "Y"  in  1921.  255 

androgynism.  An  androgyne  acquaintance,  though  perfectly 
sound  physically,  was  rejected  in  the  World  War  draft  merely 
on  account  of  his  softspokenness  and  generally  "soft"  manner- 
isms. Another  young  androgyne  acquaintance  enlisted  in  the 
Hospital  Corps  during  the  war  so  as  to  be  able  to  pass  all  his 
time  among  idols.  Moreover,  androgynes  long  to  serve  as 
nurses  to  wounded  virile  young  men,  as  did  Walt  Whitman  dur- 
ing the  American  War  of  the  Rebellion.  Androgynes  make  the 
best  nurses  of  youthful  warriors  because  they  slavishly  adore 
them.  From  an  eyewitness  I  heard  of  a  third  androgyne  who 
was  drafted  in  the  World  War  and  "bobtailed"  out  of  the  army 
because  discovered  to  be  addicted  to  fellatio.  From  another 
eyewitness  I  heard  of  a  fourth  androgyne  who  was  similarly 
"bobtailed",  and  as  a  result  of  the  indignities  heaped  upon  him 
at  the  time,  immediately  committed  suicide.  Of  course  those 
who  heaped  up  the  indignities  thought  the  sexual  cripple 
wilfully  depraved.  From  still  another  eyewitness  I  heard  of 
another  drafted  androgyne  who,  on  the  eve  of  his  first  battle 
in  France,  ate  the  heads  off  matches  so  as  to  assure  getting  back 
into  the  hospital  while  his  virile  "buddies"  were  valiantly 
"going  over  the  top."     Virility  confers  bravery. 

At  the  date  of  writing,  I  still  "pal"  only  with  regular 
soldiers,  but  am  instinctively  such  an  industrious  worker  that 
I  go  into  any  kind  of  fellowship  only  about  once  a  fortnight. 
I  still  look  upon  youthful  regular  soldiers  as  magic  demigods 
to  whom  I  wish  to  enslave  myself.  Two  days  before  the  present 
writing,  I  happened  to  take  a  walk  to  Fort  Y,  which  plaved  a 
large  part  in  my  AUTOBIOGRAPHY  OF  AN  ANDROGYNE, 
and  which,  from  1902  to  1905,  I  visited,  in  the  role  of  female- 
impersonator,  one  evening  out  of  fourteen,  and  where  I  was 
acquainted  with  practically  every  one  of  the  four  hundred  men 
not  above  the  grade  of  sergeant.  That  of  two  days  ago  was 
only  my  second  trip  there  in  the  past  sixteen  years.  Because 
it  is  inconveniently  located  for  a  visit.  After  sixteen  years,  I 
happened  to  be  recognized  by  one  soldier  who  had  stuck  to  that 
post  and  risen  to  the  rank  of  sergeant.  He  told  me  there  were 
still  only  about  four  at  the  fort  who  served  there  when  I  had 
the  honor  to  be  "the  daughter  of  the  regiment."  He  expressed 
his  amazement  at  my  being  so  well  preserved,  saying  I  look 
twenty  years  younger  than  I  am.  He  told  me  that  only  four 
or  five  fairies  had  run  after  the  men  of  that  fort  in  the  past  six- 
teen years.  That  small  number  is  due  to  the  remoteness  of  Fort 
Y  from  the  city.  At  two  other  forts  formerly  frequented  by  me 
as  a  female-impersonator  which  are  right  in  the  city,  androgyne 
cultivators  of  the  common  soldiers  are  numerous.  A  man 
serving  at  one  of  these  forts  told  me  that  common  soldiers 
often  speak  with  one  another  about  their  "fairies."  Whenever 
any  one  of  the  former  appears  with  a  new  watch,  ring,  etc.,  a 
common  query  of  his  "buddies"  is:  "Did  your  fairie  give  it  to 


256         Author's  Conversations  with  Opposites. 

you?"  Seven  out  of  ten  common  soldiers  appear  exceedingly 
glad  to  have  a  prosperous  young  androgyne  in  their  midst, 
particularly  because  he  showers  them  with  gifts  and  entertain- 
ment. Only  one  out  of  ten  is  such  a  prude  as  to  walk  away 
from  the  circle  of  which  I  have  hundreds  of  times  had  the 
privilege  of  being  the  star.  Some  of  these  prudes  would 
murder  an  androgyne  but  for  fear  of  being  punished. 

Because  of  this  remoteness  of  Fort  Y,  however,  I  had  found 
there,  during  the  hey-day  of  my  career  as  female-impersonator, 
a  specially  hearty  welcome  and  specially  rich  pickings. 

(See  "Emotion"  in  Part  VIII.) 

The  sergeant  I  met  two  days  ago — as  common  soldiers  in 
general — was  very  much  interested  to  hear  the  experiences  of 
an  androgyne  as  I  narrated  my  life-story  for  the  sixteen  years 
since  I  talked  with  him.  I  habitually  tell  soldier  associates  the 
complete  story  of  my  life,  and  all  who  stay  in  the  circle  to 
listen  appear  very  glad  for  the  chat.  Of  course  I  never  use 
any  indecent  language,  although  dealing  frankly  with  sex 
questions.  I  am  a  lecturer  on  sexology  to  them.  Moreover, 
within  three  minutes  after  becoming  acquainted  with  a  com- 
mon soldier,  I  sometimes  ask  him,  if  he  is  beyond  twenty- 
five,  if  he  is  married.  For  I  do  not  care  to  chat  with  married 
men.  I  also  commonly  ask  why  he  never  married.  I  ask  him 
to  enlighten  me  as  to  his  feelings  toward  the  gentle  sex,  and  as 
to  what  transpires  when  he  and  a  girl  are  out  for  an  evening's 
stroll  on  a  rural  road.  They  are  very  frank  in  telling  me  their 
outlook  on  life.  If  there  is  no  opportunity  for  assault  and 
robbery  (A  large  proportion  of  the  uncultured  thinking  the 
first  thing  of  robbing  a  stranger  androgyne,  if  not  of  "beating 
him  up")  I  have,  to  strange  young  soldiers,  confessed  myself  an 
androgyne  within  three  minutes  after  we  exchanged  our  first 
words,  because  their  learning  that  fact  proves,  in  general,  the 
strongest  kind  of  a  drawing  card. 

The  sergeant  of  two  days  ago  wanted  to  make  a  date  with 
me.  I  absolutely  turned  my  back  on  such  a  proposition,  chiefly 
on  account  of  the  dread  of  the  physical  and  mental  debility 
always  supervening  the  following  day.  He  urged  me  to  resume 
my  visits  to  Fort  Y,  to  flaunt  myself  before  all  the  soldiers  as 
female-impersonator,  as  sixteen  years  before.  I  replied  that  I 
was  now  too  old  and  too  feeble.  While  sixteen  years  before  I 
never  left  the  vicinity  of  the  post  without  dalliance  with 
intimates,  two  days  ago  I  did  not  entertain  the  least  idea  of,  and 
hardly  any  wish  for,  such  relations.  Age  has  sobered  me. 
"Intimates"  I  just  wrote — some  of  whom,  however,  I  had  never 
laid  eyes  on  until  three  minutes  before.  Providence  gave  me 
this  wealth  of  one  kind  to  counterbalance  the  almost  unparallel- 
ed anguish  I  have  been  called  upon  to  suffer  because  of  my  fate 
of  being  a  sorely  persecuted  androgyne. 


duihor's  Third  "Adopted  Son."  257 

Lest  I  should  be  misjudged  (the  reader  will  any  way  judge 
me  the  warmest  body  that  ever  breathed,  as  intimates  have 
told  me)  I  further  confess  that  during  the  year  ending  March, 
1921,  I  visited  at  another  fort  about  once  a  fortnight  a  20-year- 
old  private  whom  I  planned  to  adopt  (not  legally)  as  son  to 
live  with  me  the  rest  of  my  life.  I  previously  looked  over,  at 
ball  games  at  the  post,  the  entire  common-soldier  personnel 
of  several  hundred  in  order  to  pick  out  one  of  the  three  or 
four  handsomest.  Even  at  my  first  visit,  one  or  two  of  the 
privates  with  whom  I  exchanged  words  evidently  took  me  for 
an  androgyne  looking  for  a  sweetheart,  and  did  their  best  to 
be  "the  lucky  dog."  But  I  passed  the  poor  fellows  by  until  I 
could  get  intimately  acquainted  with  one  of  the  three  or  four 
pre-eminent  Adonises.  I  later  ascertained  that  the  one  selected 
— greatly  to  his  joy  and  to  the  envy  of  numerous  "buddies" — 
excelled  in  disposition  and  character  as  much  as  in  good  looks. 
I  also  learned  he  had  been  brought  up  in  the  back  woods  and 
had  never  attended  school  a  single  day,  although  he  had  learned 
to  read  and  write  a  little  after  entering  the  army.  After  I  had 
known  him  intimately  for  nine  months,  his  enlistment  expired. 
Only  now  I  disclosed  my  true  name  and  station  and  took  him 
to  live  in  my  own  home,  where  I  had  been  all  by  myself,  doing 
my  own  housework  like  a  woman.  Although  I  had  loaded  him 
with  gifts,  this  my  "third  adopted  son"  took  French  leave 
after  only  three  days'  residence  with  me.  His  "buddies"  told 
me  he  had  gone  away  to  marry  the  girl  with  whom  I  had  known 
he  had  been  corresponding. 

Having  lost  him,  I  immediately  started  in  to  cultivate  at 
the  same  barracks  its  pre-eminent  Adonis,  and  almost  its  pre- 
eminent Hercules,  with  a  view  to  his  non-legal  adoption  to  live 
with  me  as  son  the  rest  of  my  life  after  a  nine-months 
apprenticeship  during  which  he  would  not  know  my  real  name, 
station  in  life,  or  place  of  residence.  It  is  easy  to  conceal 
these  things  from  common  soldiers.  They  are  not  inquisitive. 
They  believe  my  misrepresentations  of  myself — necessary  be- 
cause androgynes  are  the  favorite  victims  of  blackmailers/ 
But  after  a  month,  this  latest  favorite  committed  theft  and  I 
never  saw  him  again.  His  "buddies"  told  me  that  he  had 
stolen  two  blankets,  "government  property,"  and  was  therefore 
sentenced  to  two  years  in  military  prison.  If  I  am  correctly 
informed,  court  martials  often  impose  on  an  enlisted  man  caught 
in  a  misdemeanor  a  prison  sentence  several  times  as  lengthy  as 
would  a  civil  court.  I  take  this  opportunity  to  enter  a  plea  for 
better  treatment  of  common  soldiers,  who  have  been  my  "pals" 
for  a  quarter  of  a  century — particularly  for  punishments  by 
court  martial  no  more  severe  than  by  civil  courts.  Sometimes  I 
have  thought  that  when  an  uneducated  young  man  enlists  to 
defend  his  country  as  a  common  soldier,  he  thereby  forfeits  all 
rights    of    citizenship    and    all    privileges    guaranteed    by    the 


258  An  Adonis  or  a  Hercules? 


American  constitution.  The  cow-boys  of  the  Rockies  have 
mingled  with  common  soldiers  because  of  the  numerous  forts 
scattered  throughout  the  "Indian  country."  I  asked  one  with 
whom  I  was  well  acquainted  why  he  did  not  serve  a  few  years 
in  the  army.  His  words  were:  "Do  you  think  I  want  to  be  a 
slave?"  But  the  lot  of  the  common  soldier  has  steadily  im- 
proved during  my  association  with  him,  excepting  during  our 
war  with  Germany.  In  1921,  he  is  better  treated  by  his  officers 
than  ever  before. 

The  context  of  this  footnote  moves  me  to  reflect:  Do  I 
prefer  an  Adonis  or  a  Hercules  ?  I  incline  to  the  latter  slightly. 
My  first  "adopted  son"  (for  nine  years,  as  described  in  my 
AUTOBIOGRAPHY  OF  AN  ANDROGYNE)  was  an  almost  un- 
matched Hercules  and  at  the  same  time  an  almost  unmatched 
Adonis.  He  was  one  young  man  out  of  ten  thousand.  My 
second  "adopted  son"  (for  only  a  half-year,  as  described  in 
same  work)  was  neither  a  Hercules  nor  an  Adonis.  Not  more 
than  one  out  of  twenty  adolescents  can  qualify  under  either  of 
these  physically  superior  types,  and  I  must  confess  that  these 
types  are  very  much  lacking  in  mental  acumen.  Bright 
intellects  nearly  always  go  hand  in  hand  with  poor  physical 
development.  My  second  "adopted  son"  (while  only  tolerably 
good-looking)  commanded  my  adoration  because  of  his  beautiful 
disposition  and  extreme  passion  for  myself.  My  third  pros- 
pective "adopted  son"  was  a  pre-eminent  Adonis,  and  a  fair 
Hercules. 

There  exist  other  attractive  qualities  in  males  that  knit 
females  to  them.  The  chief  is  intellectual  brilliance.  That  to 
me  has  always  been,  sexually  considered,  decidedly  detractive — 
because  I  am  myself  of  the  intellectual  type.  As  a  rule,  only 
opposites  attract. 


Newspaper  Accounts  of  Murders.  259 


III.    College  Student's  Death  is  Unexplained. 

(The  following  are  excerpts  from  a  New  York 
paper.  Every  few  months  the  press  brings  to  light  a 
similar  death  of  an  androgyne.  All  because  the  world 
misunderstands  and  grossly  misjudges  them,  as  well  as 
because  public  opinion  has  always  deprived  them  of 
the  means  of  coming  to  an  understanding  of  them- 
selves. Bracketed  words  and  italics  are  those  of  the 
author  of  The  Female-Impersonators.) 

STUDENT'S  DEATH  MYSTERY  BAFFLING — NO  KNOWN 
BASIS  IN  Q'S  LIFE  TO  SUGGEST  MURDER  OR  SUICIDE 
THEORY 

Overdone  detective  fiction  seldom  presents  so 
many  significant  but  mostly  inexplicable  circumstances 
surrounding  the  victim  of  death  by  violence  as  those 
developed  concerning  [ Jimmie  Q] ,  twenty,  quiet,  studi- 
ous, religious  [earmarks  of  androgynism] ,  a  [North 
Atlantic]  college  junior,  popular,  not  morbid,  a  clean- 
cut  American  youth,  whose  body  was  taken  from  the 
river  last  Thursday  night 

Q  loved  to  roam  the  slums  of  large  cities.  [An 
earmark  of  cultured  androgynism.  They  thus  roam 
because  realizing  that  in  their  Overworld,  they  are 
prohibited  outlet  for  the  feminine  side  of  their  duality. 
They  roam  with  day  dreams  of  how  they  would  like 
to  impersonate  a  female  in  the  Underworld,  where 
alone  female-impersonators  are  welcome;  and  finally, 
in  many  cases,  they  are  carried  away  by  their  mania 
for   an    actual   female-impersonation    spree.] ....  His 


260  Female-Impersonation  Obsession. 

college  room-mate  commented  on  the  large  number  of 
neckties,  all  Q  had,  which  the  latter  was  taking  along. 
[As  he  said,  for  a  few  days'  visit  to  his  father,  which 
visit  did  not  take  place.  My  theory  is  that  he  went  to 
the  great  city,  in  whose  harbor  his  dead  body  was 
found,  to  spend  an  evening  with  chance-met  gangsters 
in  the  slums,  as  I  have  myself  done,  and  he  took  the 
many  neckties  as  presents  for  them,  just  as  I  myself 
have  carried  neckties  with  which  to  shower  them  and 
thus  win  their  goodwill.  The  androgyne,  of  course, 
wishes  the  gangsters  as  an  audience  for  his  loved  im- 
personations. Androgynes  always  wish  an  audience 
of  tremendously  virile  "young  fellows."] 

Q  did  not  drink  and  never  took  special  interest  in 
any  woman.  But  he  did  like  to  rove  about  in  the  dis- 
tricts of  big  cities  in  which  the  poorest  classes  live 

and  work Whenever  he  was  in  New  York,  he  spent 

most  of  his  time  in  such  districts 

At  the  Morgue,  Mr.  Q  identified  the  effects  of  his 
son.  When  the  body  was  exposed  for  his  inspection — 
it  appeared  to  have  been  in  the  water  about  ten  days — 
the  father  bowed  his  head  and  tearfuly  exclaimed: 
"Poor  Jimmie !     How  you  must  have  suffered !".... 

The  fisherman  who  had  pulled  the  body  ashore 

had  used  a  grappling  hook To  it  they  attributed 

the  incision  which  the  [City's]  Medical  Examiner  had 
reported  to  have  been  made  by  some  weapon.  The 
Medical  Examiner  denounced  this  report  and  suggest- 
ed that  the  police  were  forwarding  a  suicide  theory  to 
escape  responsibility  for  solution  of  a  crime.  He  de- 
clared there  was  evidence  of  hemorrhage  in  this  wound 
not  producible  by  such  an  injury  inflicted  long  after 
death.    He  further  recalled  that  the  left  arm  of  Q  was 


Methods  of  Torture.  261 

dislocated  at  the  elbow,  with  the  arm  muscles  twisted 
— positive  indications  of  external  violence.  [I  myself 
have  been  tortured  by  a  ruffian's  seizing  me  by  the 
wrist  and  twisting  around  my  arm  so  that  I  had  to 
shriek  in  agony.] 

The  Medical  Examiner  declared  the  absence  of 
water  in  the  lungs  developed  by  the  autopsy  showed 
beyond  question  that  Q  was  dead  when  his  body  entered 
the  water He  had  seventy-seven  cents  in  his  pock- 
ets when  his  body  was  found.  [Evidence  of  robbery, 
considering  that  he  was  a  well-to-do  youth  on  a  visit 
to  a  great  city  distant  from  his  college.  My  theory  is, 
on  the  basis  of  intimate  knowledge  of  the  practices  of 
androgynes,  that  he  scraped  acquaintance  with  one  or 
more  gangsters,  while  adopting  a  girl's  role.  Many 
gangsters  cordially  hate  bisexuals.  Because  of  this 
hatred,  as  well  as  to  escape  prosecution  after  robbing 
Q,  the  gangsters  murdered  him  and  threw  his  dead 
body  into  the  river — probably  in  the  vicinity.  Again 
the  fundamental  cause  of  the  death  of  another  andro- 
gyne is  the  terribly  false  teaching  of  the  Church  and 
public  opinion  as  to  the  nature  of  bisexuality.] 


ffltlntnl  Writers  an  ^tibtatggm&m 

************ 

I.    What  a  New  York  Official  Physician  Has  to  Say 
about  Fairies. 

In  Medical  Life  of  December,  1920,  I  had  an 
article:  The  Biological  Sport  of  Fairieism.  Readers 
completely  out  of  touch  with  Underworld  life  evidently 
thought  I  was  telling  a  fairy  tale.  Apparently  the 
editor  of  the  Medical  Review  of  Reviews  appealed 
for  corroboration  to  a  physician  likely  to  be  one  of  the 
best  authorities  in  the  United  States  on  my  subject, 
Perry  M.  Lichtenstein,  M.D.,  Ll.B.,  Physician  to  City 
Prison,  "Tombs"  (New  York's  principal  jail),  House 
of  Detention,  etc.,  all  of  New  York  City.  Apparently 
there  resulted  the  valuable  and  interesting  article,  The 
"Fairy"  and  the  Lady  Lover,  in  Medical  Review  of 
Reviews  of  August,  1921.  Its  writer  has  enjoyed  al- 
most unparalleled  opportunities  for  examination  of  the 
very  fairies  whose  existence  had  been  called  in  ques- 
tion. I  quote  a  small  fraction,  but  the  whole  paper 
should  be  read  by  every  devotee  of  Aesculapius. 
Knowledge  of  its  contents  is  very  necessary  for 
every  practitioner.  I  use  my  spelling  of  "fairie."  My 
own  comments  are  in  brackets.  The  Review  for 
November,  1921,  contained  quite  a  lengthy  reply  of 
mine.     Dr.  Lichtenstein  begins  his  paper: 

"Does  the  'fairie'  or  'fag'  really  exist?  This  ques- 
tion has  been  asked  time  and  again.    There  is  no  doubt 

[262] 


Does  the  Fairie  Really  Exist?  263 

but  that  this  type  of  degenerate  is  a  reality.  [Un- 
prejudiced science  has  not  yet  decided  the  matter  of 
the  degeneracy  of  the  androgyne  in  general,  as  I  have 
already  shown  in  detail.  There  exists  as  much  evi- 
dence that  the  bisexual  is  a  superman  or  genius  as  that 
he  or  she  is  a  degenerate.  The  truth  of  the  matter 
probably  is  that  degenerates  are  no  commoner  per 
thousand  among  bisexuals  than  among  the  sexually 
full-fledged,  but  that  geniuses  occur  far  oftener.]  He 
is  a  freak  of  nature  who  in  every  way  attempts  to 
imitate  a  woman.  In  my  official  capacity  I  have  come 
in  contact  with  several  hundred  of  such  individuals, 
and  have  in  every  instance  felt  sorry  for  the  unfor- 
tunate being.  [Such  sympathy  indicates  that  fairies 
are  not  wilfully  of  that  genre,  and  should  not  suffer 
term  after  term  in  prison,  as  now,  for  acts  that  do  no- 
body harm  beyond  offending  the  aesthetic  sense  of  the 
unsophisticated.  Of  course,  in  the  matter  of  accosting 
on  the  street,  etc.,  they  should  be  treated  the  same  as 
full-fledged  females.  But  their  punishment  should  not 
be  augmented  because  they  are  "homosexuals" — a 
word  that  is  a  misnomer.] 

"In  practically  every  case  I  have  found  the  man  to 
be  a  young  person  of  age  ranging  between  sixteen  and 
thirty.  ["man"! — Only  a  pseudo-man.  Really  a 
woman  whom  Nature  has  disguised  as  a  man;  a 
woman  with  male  genitals.] ....  They  are  by  no  means 
mental  defectives.  Most  of  them  have  had  a  good  edu- 
cation and  come  from  respectable  families.  ..  .Since 
early  childhood  they  have  been  seclusive  and  kept  close 
to  their  mother.  They  are  emotional  and  affective. 
. . .  .They.  . .  .imitate  the  female  as  closely  as  possible. 
They  take  feminine  names,  use  perfume  and  dainty 


264  Artificial  Breasts. 

stationery  which  frequently  is  scented,  and  in  many 
instances  they  wear  women's  apparel. 

"Recently  one  of  these  individuals  was  arrested, 
charged  with  soliciting.  When  he  ["he-she"  would  be 
the  accurate  pronoun]  arrived  in  the  city  prison,  he 
was  searched,  and  on  him  were  found ....  artificial 
busts,  a  wig,  and  a  box  containing  powder  and  rouge. 
This  young  man  ["androgyne"  would  be  the  proper 
term]  was  twenty  years  of  age.  He  was  beardless 
[evidently  natural],  had  an  effeminate  voice,  and  a 
distinctly  feminine  walk.     He   lisped  and  in   speech 

closely  approached  a  bashful  female He.  .  .  .had 

graduated ....  from     high-school He     ran     away 

from  home  and  met  some  boys  ["girlboys"  would  be 
the  proper  term]  whom  he  considered  good  company. 
These  young  men  ["androgynes"  would  be  the  proper 

term]  were  of  the  same  type  as  he In  this  way 

[after  a  fashion,  taking  the  place  of  the  female  of  the 
species] ,  [he]  made  enough  money  to  live. 

"These  individuals ....  of  ten  occupy  handsomely 
furnished  apartments  which  are  paid  for  by  men  who 
patronize  them.  As  a  rule  several  'fags'  occupy  an 
apartment.  On  one  occasion  ten  such  individuals  were 
arrested  in  a  raid  by  the  police I  had  an  oppor- 
tunity to  observe  them  closely.  In  every  respect  they 
resembled  the  female.    The  names  they  used  in  calling 

one   another   were  feminine They  had   a   typical 

feminine  walk [Because  androgyne  legs  are  some- 
times those  of  a  woman.] 

"I  can  distinctly  recall  two  cases  which  occurred 
quite  recently The  first ....  was  arrested  for  so- 
liciting and  was  sent  to  the  female  prison.  This  per- 
son had  wonderful  hair  which  reached  to  the  waist, 


Legal  Persecution  of  Androgynes.  265 

and  it  was  not  false.  His  face  was  as  smooth  as  a 
woman's  [naturally  beardless  evidently] ,  his  voice  was 
distinctly  feminine,  and  his  hands  and  feet  were  small. 
He  wore  high-heeled  shoes.  In  examining  this  person 
the  matron  insisted  that  he  strip.  The  prisoner  re- 
fused, and  thereupon  I  was  notified  to  make  an  ex- 
amination  When  questioned,  he  stated  that  he  pre- 
ferred to  dress  as  a  female  because  he  found  that  he 
was  effeminately  inclined He  was  sent  to  the  work- 
house, and  after  serving  his  time  was  released.  Sev- 
eral months  later  I  learned  that  he  had  again  been  ar- 
rested for  a  similar  offence.  This  time  he  wore  a  wig 
in  addition  to  the  feminine  garb.  [Because  during  his 
prior  imprisonment,  he  had,  under  pressure,  consented 
to  have  his  hair  cut  short,  like  a  man,  and  promised  to 
live  henceforth  as  a  man — a  promise  hard  to  keep  since 
"he"  was  psychicly,  and  in  part  physically,  a  female.] 

"The  next  case ....  was  arrested ....  When  taken 
to  the  female  prison,  he  refused  to  allow  the  matron  to 

search  him I   was   called   in.     I  found  that  the 

prisoner  wore  a  wig  and  artificial  breasts.  Every  bit 
of  his  attire  was  feminine The  voice  and  manner- 
isms were  distinctly  effeminate 

"Many  of  the  so-called  'social  elite'  are  to  be  in- 
cluded among  these  people "     ["Many"  only  in  the 

aggregate.  Proportionately,  only  about  one  out  of 
one-hundred-and  fifty  men.  But  the  ratio  is  probably 
higher  among  the  cultured  than  among  manual  labor- 
ers. They  are  not  at  all  blameworthy,  because  they 
were  born  with  the  strongest  kind  of  instincts  in  that 
direction,  and  do  not  thereby  harm  in  the  least  any  in- 
dividual or  society  as  a  whole.  They  carefully  keep 
their  idiosyncracy  under  cover.] 


266  Medical  Writers  on  Androgynism. 


II.     What  One  of  America's  Foremost  Medical 
Writers  Has  to  Say  about  Fairies. 

Dr.  Robert  W.  Shuf  eldt,  author  of  Studies  in  the 
Human  Form,  has  included  at  least  one  fairie  among 
the  many  human  beings  the  results  of  his  physical  ex- 
amination of  whom  he  has  published.  The  following 
are  excerpts  from  his  valuable  and  interesting  article, 
Biography  of  a  Passive  Pederast,  in  the  October, 
1917,  issue  of  the  American  Journal  of  Urology  and 
Sexology.  I  use  my  own  spelling  of  "fairie."  My 
comments  are  in  brackets.  Those  interested  should 
read  the  entire  original  article.  Particularly  two  pho- 
tographs of  the  subject  are  given,  one  nude  and  the 
other  in  full  feminine  garb. 

"J.  W is  a  fairie  from  the  slums  of  Brooklyn, 

N.  Y twenty-three  years  of  age.    When  fourteen 

.  .  .  .the  lobes  of  his  ears  had  been  pierced.  .  .  .for  ear- 
rings, and  these  ornaments  he  commonly  wears  when 

dressed  in  female  attire He  invited  my  attention 

to  the  fine  development  of  his  breasts,  whereas  there 

was  not  the  slightest  evidence  of  gynecomasty The 

impression  was  left  upon  my  mind  that  he  was  mor- 
phologically   male    in  all    particulars I    became 

thoroughly  convinced  that  the  man  was  laboring  under 

...  .a  most  extraordinary  delusion He  claimed  to 

have  his  menses  regularly  every  month.  . .  .  [Evidently 
bleeding  piles.] 

"In  July  he  admitted  that  he  had  never  been  preg- 
nant; while  in  November,  when  he  brought  with  him 
one  of  his  numerous  'husbands'  or  lovers,  he  claimed 


Yearning  for  Feminine  Attire.  267 

that  he  had  been  pregnant  a  few  years  previously  and 
been  operated  on  in  a  hospital  and  the  conception  re- 
moved 'through  his  side.' ....  I  am  convinced  that  this 
mendacity  is  due  to  his  delusions. 

" .  . . .  While  he  could  sing  soprano  well,  he  could 
not  whistle ....  and  he  threw  a  stone  like  a  girl.  [Com- 
mon earmarks  of  androgynism.]  ....  He  did  not,  as  he 
moved  about ....  give  one  the  impression  that  there 
was  anything  in  his  demeanor  simulating  femininity, 
nor  did  his  behavior  in  any  way  betray  the  remarkable 

manner  in  which  his  sexual  life  was  being  lived 

Apart  from  his  extremely  meagre  education,  he  is  no 

fool  or  dullard  in  other  particulars It  would  seem 

that  his  trade  [professional  female-impersonator  and 

f airie]  is  olied  chiefly  for  the  money  there  is  in  it 

He  claims  he  has  never  been  arrested  or  otherwise 
interfered  with  by  the  police 

" .  .  .  .  He  has  always  been  possessed  of  the  con- 
trary sexual  instinct.    He  always  shunned  women  and 
girls  more  or  less,  while  yearning  at  the  same  time  to" 
assume  female  attire  and  enter  into  their  domestic  vo- 
cations  Believing  himself  designed  by  Nature  to 

play  the  very  part  he  is  playing  in  life,  it  was  truly 
remarkable  to  hear  this  nervous,  loquacious,  foul- 
mouthed,  and  foul-minded  fairie  of  the  most  degraded 
slums  of  the  multi-millioned  city  chatter  about  his  ex- 
periences  

"Few  writers  in  the  field  of  psychiatry  have  en- 
joyed what  I  had  next  the  opportunity  to  observe 

The  putting  on  of  female  attire  by  a  contrary  sexed 
male.  [The  paper  details  the  putting  on  of  the  various 
articles.] ...  .He  became  very  talkative. ...  .telling  of 
some  of  his  recent  escapades ....  gesticulating  as  we 


268         A  "Man"  Transformed  into  a  Soubrette. 

often  see  agitated  girls  do. .  .  .remarking  that  he  was 
very  tired,  owing  to  the  fact  that  he  had  been  'ironing 
all  the  forenoon.*  [Androgynes  gravitate  toward 
peculiarly  feminine  tasks.]  ....  'What  do  you  think  of 
that  hat  ?  Is  n't  it  a  dandy  ?  I  trimmed  it  myself.' .... 
He  was,  without  the  slightest  doubt,  thoroughly  in 
earnest  in  all  he  said  and  did,  and  by  no  means  was 
he  playing  a  part 'Dear  me/  he  said,  'I've  forgot- 
ten my  ear-rings ;  but  you  won't  mind  that  ?'  Upon  my 
assuring  him  that  I  liked  young  girls  better  without 
them,  he  seemed  relieved  and  proceeded  to  fit  to  his 
head  a. .  .  .blonde  wig. . .  .As  he  had  recently  shaved, 
his  face  was  quite  smooth,  and  in  a  twinkling  he  made 
it  up  with.  .  .  .pink  powder,  with  red  pomade  for  the 
lips 'Ha !'  he  said  [after  fully  transformed  out- 
wardly into  a  soubrette,  in  the  style  of  costume  pre- 
valent among  courtesans  at  the  date  of  J.  W's  appear- 
ance before  the  doctor  for  wear  in  their  resorts  only, 
but  in  1921  affected  for  street  wear  by  all  butterflies  of 
fashion]  'I  feel  more  like  myself  now,  and  I  am  ready 
for  the  picture !'...." 


The  first  of  the  following  attempts  to  penetrate  into  Plato's 
"world  of  ideas"  and  get  at  the  real  essence  of  things,  and  then 
to  express  them  in  an  ideal  manner,  was  inspired  by  a  chance 
visit  to  the  Whitestone  station  in  October,  1921.  Subsequently 
I  was  seized  with  the  desire  to  try  out  my  muse  in  incorporating 
some  of  my  other  emotions  and  experiences  in  verse.  I  had 
essayed  no  metrical  composition  since  1905,  the  year  of  writing 
the  last  of  my  Fairie  Songs,  the  best  of  which  were  published 
in  the  Autobiography  of  an  Androgyne. 

I  understand  by  "poetry"  the  version  of  things  seen  in- 
corporeally;  things  spiritualized  or  with  a  halo  around  them; 
things  as  they  exist  in  substance,  in  reality,  back  of  their 
superficial  or  phenomenal  presentation — the  version  of  things 
that  an  individual's  subconscious  or  subliminal  self  utters. 

At  present  when  I  evolve  verse,  I  try  to  lose  myself  to  the 
phenomenal  world — the  domain  of  sensation — and  to  let  down 
my  bucket  into  the  well  of  the  subconscious,  the  subliminal;  to 
peer  into  the  eternal,  the  infinite  world  (the  domain  of  funda- 
mental substance).  The  sensuous,  material  skin  or  crust  of 
this  world  of  ideas  is  all  that  most  children  of  Adam  can 
grasp.  Only  to  poets  and  metaphysicians  has  Nature  given  a 
rope  of  sufficient  length  that  their  buckets  can  reach  as  far 
as  the  water  level  in  the  well  of  ideas.  Nearly  all  poets  even 
of  the  first  rank  manage  to  flop  into  their  buckets  a  few  ex- 
quisite thoughts  as  to  eternal  realities,  and  clothed  in  ap- 
propriate language,  only  about  once  out  of  a  score  of  attempts. 
Nineteen-twentieths  of  their  verse  would  better  have  been  for- 
ever withheld  from  the  public's  eyes,  since  it  is  merely  arti- 
ficial, nonsense  doggerel.  In  that  proportion  of  their  work, 
these  poets  of  the  first  rank  show  themselves  up  merely  as 
bad  rhymesters. 

The  editor  of  The  Female-Impersonators  declared  "the  book 
would  be  better  off  without"  my  verse,  but  has  kindly  humored 
my  wish  to  include  it.  The  reader's  verdict  may  be  that  I,  too, 
am  merely  a  bad  rhymester,  and  thus  put  my  work  on  a  level 
with  the  vast  bulk  of  the  outpourings  and  outdronings  of  our 
best  poets. 

But  I,  as  a  would-be  poet,  labor  under  the  disadvantage 
of  expressing  sentiments  of  an  androgyne.    Even  if  there  should 

[269] 


270  Androgyne  Verse. 

really  be  any  poetry  in  my  own  outdronings,  no  one  but  another 
cndrogyne  could  recognize  the  fact,  since  it  is  next  to  impos- 
sible for  anybody  to  appreciate  any  literature  unless  they  can 
make  its  sentiments  their  own  and  identify  themselves  with 
one  of  the  characters.  And  the  sexually  full-fledged,  who  con- 
stitute more  than  ninety-nine  per  cent  of  the  reading  public, 
are  obsessed  by  an  irrational  horror  of  androgynes. 

I  therefore  beg  the  reader,  in  judging  the  follow- 
ing verse,  to  bear  in  mind  that  it  is  not  written  by  a 
man  about  men,  as  the  reader  first  thinks;  but  about 
men  by  a  pseudo-man;  by  a  physical  "man"  who  is 
psy chicly  a  woman,  and  even  physically  a  woman  at 
least  thirty-three  per  cent. 

I  have  read  some  of  Mary  Baker  Eddy's  verse,  which  her 
disciples  place  on  a  level  with  the  Psalms  of  David.  But  I 
think  the  former  weak  and  the  latter  perfect.  Here  again 
we  see  that  to  judge  verse  to  be  good,  one  has  to  imagine  it 
one's  own  outpouring.  I  therefore  do  not  expect  any  sexually 
full-fledged  person  to  declare  of  my  verse  (even  if  it  were  the 
best  ever  written)  anything  else  than  that  it  is  "far  beneath 
the  worst  doggerel.    The  mere  thought  of  it  is  painful!" 

For — I  repeat — it  is  impossible  for  any  one  to  judge  poetry 
objectively — only  subjectively:  that  is,  not  according  to  the 
merits  of  the  verse,  but  according  to  whether  the  reader  can 
make  the  sentiments  his  own. 

A  sexually  full-fledged  literary  confidant,  who  has  read 
the  first  two  books  of  my  trilogy,  declared  of  my  verse:  "If 
you  publish  it,  it  will  cast  ridicule  and  contempt  on  your  whole 
book.  In  the  book,  you  have  claimed  culture,  but  when  your 
readers  come  to  this  verse,  they  will  say  that  no  one  with  the  cul- 
ture of  a  longshoreman  would  try  to  pass  off  such  stuff  as  verse 
even  in  fun,  and  that  if  you  had  the  slightest  tincture  of  liter- 
ary taste,  you  would  realize  this.  You  will  go  down  to  posterity 
in  ridicule,  and  destroy  all  the  good  your  books  might  other- 
wise do." 

But  I  persist  in  including  the  verse.  If  the  quoted  verdict 
is  correct,  than  I  have  "a  screw  loose"  intellectually,  as  well  as 
being  sexually  and  anatomically  "a  freak  of  Nature."  The  pub- 
lished pieces  show  the  psychologist  what  ultra-androgyne  verse 
is  like.  Besides,  possible  androgyne  readers  may  be  able  to 
appreciate  this  verse. 

As  three  out  of  the  four  following  "attempts"  were  first  con- 
ceived only  in  January,  1922 — after  The  Female-Impersonators 
had  gone  to  press — it  has  been  impossible  that  they  benefit  by 
the  author's  judgment  after  they  have  grown  cold. 


Emotion  *  271 

(Inspired  by  sight  of  Whitestone  station  in  1921.) 

Still  stands  the  selfsame  Whitestone  station, 

So  sombre  as  night's  shades  fall; 
At  its  north  front  do  still  halt  trains, 

While  brakemen  "Whitestone!    Whitestone!"  call. 

My  trysting-place  in  nineteen  three 

With  warriors  of  the  nation, 
When  I  was  frivolous  and  wild, 

Was  this  old  Whitestone  station. 


"Holy  Ground" 

Yea,  holy  ground  its  platform  is; 

It  makes  me  sigh  and  ponder; 
In  my  mind's  eye  those  blue-clad  forms 

Still  wait  for  me  just  yonder! 

1  Attempt  at  poetical   expression  of  experiences  described 
in  prose  on  page  255  following. 


272 


Emotion. 


They  met  me  at  the  train  when  I 
From  New  York  came,  directed 

To  see  and  stroll  about  with  "braves" 
Of  manhood  unsuspected! 

On  balmy  eves  we  stalked  dark  lanes, 
No  other  person  near  us ; 

No  other's  eye  upon  us  gazed, 
No  other's  ear  could  hear  us. 

What  gallant,  passionate  lovers  they! 

Considerate  of  my  pleasure ! 
Uplifting  to  the  highest  bliss 

That  Eve  on  earth  can  measure ! 

Returning  to  the  porte  cochere 
Of  that  selfsame  old  station, 

We  lingered,  till  the  whistle  blew, 
In  blissful  conversation. 


"Old  Porte  Cochere,  with  Memories  Dear  Thou 
Teernest !" 


Emotion. 


273 


What  eyesore  thou,  old  Porte  Cochere, 
To  every  traveller  seemest ! 

To  me,  howe'er,  thou  shelter  gave ; 

With  memories  dear  thou  teemest ! 

The  station's  waiting-room  with  seats 

Extending  all  around  it, 
'Whelms  me  with  recollections  fond, 

Because  unchanged  I  found  it ! 

For  'twas  on  these  rude  benches  there, 
When  winter's  winds  were  hurtling, 

And  travellers  few  and  far  between, 
All  evening  sat  we  flirting. 


The  Unreplaced  Slats  on  Which  the  Author  Communed 


274  Emotion. 

In  words  our  conversation  lagged ; 

In  substance  it  was  silly ! 
For  all  I  said  the  evening  through 

Was:  "How  I  love  thee,  Willie!" 

We  every  confidence  but  breathed, 

Lest  some  strange  ear  o'erhear  us; 

They  guessed  not — travellers — what  we  said; 
There  were  none  very  near  us. 

Whene'er  the  train  I  took  for  town, 
And  we  "Goodnight!"  repeated, 

"Farewell!"  o'erwhelmed  me  as  I  left 
And  in  the  coach  was  seated. 

Once  rode  with  me  a  gallant  three 
To  College  Point,  first  station; 

To  have  with  me  five  minutes  more 
Before  farewell  ovation. 

How  charmed  was  I  that  period  brief! 

Its  memory  ever  lingers; 
As  we  sat  holding  hidden  hands, 

I  felt  their  horny  fingers. 

"Three  cheers  for  Jennie  June !"  they  cried, 
When  finally  they  must  leave  me ; 

"The  soldiers'  friend,  and  sweetheart  too! 
Let  not  our  parting  grieve  thee !" 

Gone  are  ye  from  my  life  for  years, 

You  heroes !  Wonder  boys ! 
In  memory  though  I  hold  you  fast — 

Forever  perfect  joys ! 
Farewell ! 


Recollection  x  275 

O  thou  Fair  as  the  sunrise  on  deep  sea's  green  surge, 

While  the  whitecaps  seem  dancing  all  around ! 
Fair  as  sunset  from  mountain's  sheer  precipice's  verge, 

Seen  o'er  maze  of  high  ridges  snowbound ! 
Even  Fairer  than  the  rose,  of  all  flowers  the  fairest ; 

Beyond  Vatican's  Apollo  Belvedere ; 
Bud  McDonald,  youth's  soulmate,  of  beauty  the  rarest, 

Adolescent  wert  thou  without  peer ! 

First,   Beau   Brummel  wert  thou,   so  fussy  about 
clothes, 

0  immaculate  Buddie  McDee  ! 

Dirt  and  slovenness  cat,  never  more  than  thou,  loaths ; 

Must  be  brushed  every  hour  from  dust  free ; 
Every  lock  of  thine  hair  with  worried  care  laid  in 
place ; 

As  a  girl  didst  thou  prink — I  can  vow! 
But  of  all  the  young  bloods  of  Rialto's  fast  race, 

Not  one  sweller  was  costumed  than  thou ! 

Beheld  one  the  shining  patent  leather  of  thy  shoe, 

And  both  hands  decorated  with  rings ; 
Marked  thy  wiles  through  which  dude  hoi  polloi's  favor 
doth  woo, 

One  would  say :  "All  from  effeminacy  springs !" 
"Not  a  bit!"    I  must  answer.    For  Mack,  Sport  as 
well, 

Was  a  crack  shot  with  pistol  and  ball ; 
How  he  hunted,  coldblooded,  dumb  beasts  he  did  tell ; 

Furry  creatures  clubbed  dead ;  cursed  them  all ! 

1  For  prose  description  of  the  personality  that  I  have  here 
attempted  to  depict  poetically,  see  page  114  following. 


276  Recollection. 

Best  of  all : — an  Adonis  wert  thou,  Bud  McDee, 

With  incomparable  red  peachlike  cheeks ; 
Threads  of  eyebrows  so  cleancut! — in  memory  I  see — 

As  o'er  her  eyes  a  soubrette  alone  seeks ; 
With  thy  pearls  of  teeth,  cherry  lips — beloved  sir — 

And  as  well  chiselled  nose  as  can  be, 
How  I've  wondered  that  thou  and  I  intimates  were ! — 

Explanation : — God  gave  thee  to  me ! 

I  again  in  fond  memory  behold  before  me, 

Pinkish  mountain  of  loveliness  tower ; 
Buddie's  forma  divina,  au  naturel,  see; 

How  his  charms,  yea  unmatched,  did  o'erpower ! 
An  "eyeful"  his  two  breasts,  with  fine  gold  scraggy 
hair ; 

Graceful  curves;  rotund  body  and  limb; 
With  his  robust  ribs  bursting  through  skin  0  so  fair, 

And  his  deep-channeled  back  breathing  vim ! 


Once  Unequaled  "Young  Fellow"!    Six-and-twenty 
long  years 

Now  have  rolled  by  since  thou  wert  All  That  ! 
Art  to-day  gibbering  sot,  maybe  suffering  jeers, 

With  foul  trousers  and  torn  greasy  hat? 
For  the  cup  cherished  thou  that  glad  makes  the  sad 
heart. — 

How  I  wonder!    Where  sleptest  last  night? 
Is  vitality  wasted  ?    In  grave  resting  art  ? — 

Us  together  soon  lead,  Kindly  Light! 


Recollection. 


277 


"The  Boy  of  the  Piave" 
(America's  Gift  to  Italy  in  1921) 


278  Memories  * 

I  dream  to-night  of  the  gay  bright  lights 

Where  I  sought  recreation ; 
While  meek  I  sat  at  feet  of  profs 

To  gain  an  education: 
I  studied  hard  six  dreary  eves, 

But  when  the  seventh  came, 
Bade  "au  revoir"  to  books  and  grind, 

And  skipped  to  Rialto'S  game. 

There  where  lurked  pleasure's  devotees 

Giant  Kill-joy  never  came ; 
I  met  there  New  York's  wildest  swains, 

And  buxoms  of  ill  fame: 
We  revelled  all  the  evening  through — 

Fine  fellowship,  I  say ! 
I  ne'er  happed  on  politer  folk 

Than  in  Rialto  gay. 

And  which  was  I,  kind  sir,  dost  ask  ? 

Was  I  a  bad  roue? 
Or  shameless  demi-virgin  wild, 

In  paint  and  powder  gay? — 
"But  I  was  neither  this  nor  that !" 

Such  answer  here  I  set; 
While  youth  in  form,  I  chose  to  take 

Diversion  as  soubrette. 

The  young  bloods  pardoned  me — they  said- 
For  wearing  hated  breeches ! 

"For  thou  art  not  a  real  male ; 

Thou'rt  like  yon  winking  witches 

1  See  page  103  following. 


Memories.  279 

Who  throng  these  noisy  promenades 

Their  favors  fair  to  sell; 
And  kissing  thee  we  deem  as  sweet 

As  kissing  ma'moiZelle! 

"Lik'st  thou  that  we  thee  sweetheart  call  ? — 

We'll  humor  thy  desire ; 
Sit  on  our  laps  while  we  sip  wine ; 

Let's  flirt  until  we  tire ; 
To  break  thy  shapely  corset  stays, 

We'll  try  our  best,  dear  Jenn ; 
But  thou  must  mimic  maid  thy  best ; 

For  us : — the  part  of  men  !"     .      .     r„    m 

To  have  love  made  by  youthful  swains, 

To  me  was  highest  bliss; 
In  the  bright  dives  where  scores  beheld, 

No, — shrinked  we  not  to  kiss : — 
Of  yore  in  gay  Rialto's  halls 

Knew  folk  no  self-restraint ; 
Insane  e'en  sometimes  acted  fools ! 

Those  dens  no  place  for  saint !     .     w     M     w 

I'm  prone  to-night  to  philosophize : — 

Why  did  I  gravitate 
Toward  Rialto's  racy  denizens 

When  moved  to  dissipate? 
'Twas  just  because  I  sought  and  found, 

In  Rialto's  "swell"  gallants, 
The  opposites  and  complements 

For  whom  my  spirit  pants 


0  comrade  of  Rialto's  halls 

Of  nineties  of  century  past — 


280  Memories. 

Should'st  read  these  lines,  some  former  pal, 
"Jennie  June"  remembered  hast; 

Now  after  twenty-six  years, 

I  hail  thee  with  heartfelt  greeting; 

Beseech  Benediction  on  thine  head, 
In  lieu  of  present  meeting. 


French  Doll  Baby  * 

Young  bloods  prom'nade  Fourteenth  Street's  pave — 

Each  eve  out  for  a  lark ; 
Their  eyes  "peeled"  for  French  doll  babies; 
With  whom  they  sigh  to  spark ; 
Why  admire  the  fraidcat  babies, 

Who  weep  easily? 
The  helpless  crippled  sex  e'en  seek! — 
Harebrained  gentility!     .... 

Cheeks  a  beauteous  red  through  rouge  puff; 
Pink  powder  (pretty,  pretty  !  !  !  )  'pon  nose; 
One  inhales  as  she  nigh  minceth, 

Such  soothing  scent  of  rose! 
Locks — so  silklike — reach  to  shoulders; 

Gown  of  "art"  design; 
Coquette  extreme  must  she  be  sure; 

All  signs  she  doth  combine. 

i  See  THE  FEMALE-IMPERSONATORS,  page  153. 
Second  stanza  is  a  free  translation  from  Beranger.  For 
original,  see  AUTOBIOGRAPHY  OF  AN  ANDROGYNE,  page 
viii. 


French  Doll  Baby.  281 

When  a  young  blood  spieth  dolly, 
Cutely  mincing-  Fourteenth  Street ; 
Then  the  young-  blood  smileth  sweetly, 

And,  stranger  e'en,  doth  greet : 
Replies  she  smilingly  "Good  evening!" 

Surely  she  is  fly! 
Too,  overjoyed  because  of  having 

Bewitched  a  stalwart  "guy." 

"Little  tootsy-wootsy !  "  cries  guy, 

"Art  ravishingly  cute! 
Thou  art,  yea,  a  pretty  Pussie !  Pussie,  Pussie  !  !  ! 

Ne'er  saw  I  such  a  beaut!" 
Answereth  she  in  mellifluous  voice: 

"And  I  'Strong  Hans'  thee  call ! 
Thy  frame  so  large  and  powerful ! 

Not  spindling  thou,  yet  tall !" 

They  acquainted  barely  minute, 

Such  confidences  express! 
As  only  hubby — hidden,  secret — 

Doth  glad  to  spouse  confess: 
Bold  gallant  the  French  doll  calls  "Wifie !" 

While  she  e'en  feels  that  he 
To  her  already  united  is — 

The  twain,  twin  souls,  to  be ! 

Reader,  never  heardst  thou  such  words ! 

Much  mush!  (as"Kiddo!  Kiddo !"— "Kitty !  Kitty!"1) 

1  Seemingly  natural  language  of  "pup  love",  the  girl  re- 
peating the  former  a  hundred  times  in  five  minutes,  and  the 
adolescent  the  latter.  Both  also  cry  these  words  simultaneously 
while  gazing  into  each  other's  eyes. 


282  French  Doll  Baby. 

Passing  strange  the  way  of  young  blood 
With  French  doll  baby  pretty! 

That  sexual  difference  existeth 
Renders  twain  insane; 

Except  for  Nature's  procreative  plan, 

These  instincts — how  inane!     .      .     „ 

Holdeth  French  doll  from  "guy"  a  secret; 

Yes,  surely  she  can  act! 
Only  after  hour's  deception, 

Revealeth  she  the  fact ; 
When  she's  found  that  she  can  trust  him; 

Can  reveal  her  whim : 
In  burst  of  laughter  doth  disclose : 

"My  real,  true  name  is  'Jim'  !  " 


ANNOUNCEMENT  OF  THIRD  OF  TRILOGY 
m\t  JtibMs  of  %  Pttberfoorlb 

Sequel  to  Autobiography  of  an  Androgyne 
and  The  Female-Impersonators 

By  Ralph  Werther — Jennie  June 

Edited  by 

Alfred  W.  Herzog,  Ph.  B.,  A.  M.,  M.  D. 

(Editor  Medico-Legal  Journal) 

To  be  published,  in  the  fall  of  1922,  by  the  MEDICO-LEGAL 
JOURNAL.    At  least  65,000  words  and  a  dozen  illustrations. 
Cloth.      Price    three    dollars,    including    postage    with- 
in United  States.  The  three  volumes  of  the  TRILOGY, 
(an  aggregate  of  over  200,000  words)  ordered  on 
the  same  date,  eight  dollars,  including  postage. 
The  AUTOBIOGRAPHY  OF  AN  ANDRO- 
GYNE,  ordered  on  the  same  date  with 
one  other  of  the  TRILOGY,  six  dol- 
lars.  Price  of  AUTOBIOGRAPHY 
alone,    four    dollars    including 
postage. 

The  author  of  the  Trilogy,  one  of  the  half-dozen 
most  remarkable  bisexuals  known  to  medical  science, 
while  living  in  New  York  City  as  college  student  and 
subsequently  professional  "man,"  had,  incidentally, 
a  six  years'  variegated  experience  (age  nineteen  to 
twenty-five)  in  the  Underworld  of  the  metropolis.    In 

[283] 


284  The  Riddle  of  the  Underworld. 

the  Autobiography,  besides  an  exhaustive  analysis  of 
his  own  intuitions,  beliefs,  courses  of  reasoning,  emo- 
tions, penchants,  and  instincts,  the  author  merely  out- 
lined his  manner  of  life  and  adventures,  particularly 
while  impersonating  a  female.  In  The  Female-Im- 
personators, he  undertook  little  more,  in  description 
of  Underworld  life,  than  to  detail  the  experiences  of 
cultured  ultra-androgynes. 

In  the  Riddle  of  the  Underworld,  the  author  of 
the  Trilogy — 

Gives  the  history  of  New  York's  white-light  and  red- 
light  districts  since  the  beginning  of  the  nine- 
teenth century;  analyzes  the  causes  of  vice  and 
crime  on  the  basis  of  his  intimate  mingling  with 
the  Underworlders ;  shows  why  a  "vicious  tenth" 
exists  in  all  cities,  and  how  the  Overworld  (which 
constitutes  nine-tenths  of  the  population  of 
Christian  lands)  should  regulate  the  former. 

Depicts  life  in  New  York's  poorest  immigrant  quar- 
ters and  tenements — in  its  reality  because  he  saw 
it  as  an  insider,  the  denizens  of  the  slums  and  the 
Underworld  shamefacedly  veiling  the  fundamen- 
tal facts  of  their  existence  from  charity  and  soci- 
ological investigators,  but  admitting  the  author 
to  everything  because  he  mingled  with  them  as  a 
non-intellectual  and  fairie. 

Depicts  life  in  the  lowest  type  of  slum  lodging-house, 
once  the  author's  home,  and  the  night  life  in  gen- 
eral of  the  Bowery  at  the  height  of  the  latter's 
vogue  as  New  York's  principal  red-light  street, 
the  author  at  the  time  being  one  of  its  "filles-de- 
joie." 


The  Riddle  of  the  Underworld.  285 

Depicts,  lastly,  in  great  detail,  his  career  as  female- 
impersonator  in  New  York's  slums  and  red-light 
and  white-light  districts  and  the  life  of  "bosom 
friends"  of  the  Underworld :  Young  bloods  sow- 
ing their  wild  oats ;  middle-aged  extreme  alcoholic 
wrecks;  extreme  drug  addicts;  intellectual  mild 
androgynes  during  the  hours  when  Nature  drives 
them  to  a  double  life  in  the  Underworld ;  low-class 
"fairies";  filles-de-joie  in  their  hey-day;  wrecks 
of  such  in  their  thirties ;  "confidence  men" ;  gang- 
sters, gunmen,  and  burglars  (whom  Providence 
gave  the  author  as  soul-mates) . 

THE  CLOSING  VOLUME  OF  THE  TRILOGY 

DEPICTING  THE  LIFE-EXPERIENCE  OF  A 

BISEXUAL  UNIVERSITY  "MAN" 


INDEX 

(and.,  abb.  for  androgyne  or  androgynism) 


*  *  *  *  * 


Abraham  Myers  adventure,  124 
Abstinence    induces    melanch., 

44,  72 
Absurd  legal  superstitions,  196 
Acquired     or     congenital,     16, 

199 
Actors,  androgynes  as,  87,  97, 

100,  177,  206 
Adam  of  Angelo,  215,  216 
Adonises,   114,   236,   257,   258 
"Adopted  sons",  187,  214,  257, 

258 
Aesthetes  often  effeminate,  25 
Aestheticism  of  and.,   17,  200, 

224,   231 
Age-group  sought,  226 
Age  sobered  me,  256 
Alcoholics,   109 
Aliases,  choosing,  94 

necessity  of,  93 
Ambition,  author's,  79,  83 
American  aboriginees,  47 
AM.   JOURNAL   OF   SEXOL- 
OGY, 266 
An  Adonis  or  a  Hercules?  258 
Anatomy  of  author,  84,  86,  87, 

91 
Alexander   the   Great,    29,    30, 

38 
America's  most  impious,  184 
Anaphrodites,  13 
"Androgyne"   and   "gynander" 

terms,  155 
Androgyne  expedients,  241 
outcast,  159 
Platonic  marriage,  217 
stamping-grounds,  226 
talk,  153 
Androgynes,  15  et  al. 
are  aesthetes,   17,  224 
are  goody-goodies,  51 
banishment  of,  42 
benefactors,  36,  220,  221 
compelled   to   fabricate,   242 


(cultured),    146ff.,    158,    164 

ff .,  198  ff .,  237  ff.,  259 
gifted,  36,  37,  48,  161 
in  war,  255 
linguists,  152 
loud  dressers,  104,  131,  223, 

225,  231 
more  numerous  among  cul- 
tured, 43,  265 
nabobize  menials,  193 
not  Sodomites,  223 
not  to  marry,  20,  205 
resourceful,  174 
wish  wife  for  "sons",  218 
Androgynes'  angelic  dispo.,  38 
families   unsuspi.,   183,  239 
favorites  fortunate,  176,  178, 

193,  208,  256,  257 
one  offence,  50 
relatives  ashamed  to  prose- 
cute, 246 
Androgynism,  causes  of:     See 
Cause  of  and. 
nationally  healthful,  48 
not  degeneracy,  46 
stigmata  of:     See  Stigmata 
of  and. 
Angel  to  fiend,  138 
Angelo-Phyllis,  153,   198  ff. 
Anglo-American  law  unintell., 

179 
Apollo,  25,  26 
Apostro.  to  lost  soulmate,  116 

to  the  supreme  man,  145 
Apotheosis  of  an  and.,  211 
Are  androgynes  supermen?  37 
Army,  bobtailed  from,  255 
Arrest  of  androgynes,  150 
Arrested  development,  49,  149 
Artificial  breasts,  264,  265 
Assassins    of    high    morality, 

249 
Assault    t.nd    battery,    141  ff., 
256,  26: 


[286] 


Index. 


287 


Associates   (author's)  of  Bow- 
ery, 285 
childhood,   54,   59 
Fourteenth  Street,  118,  130, 

215 
Stuyvesant  Square,  113,  130 
Association  of  and.,  146  ff.,  232 
Astigmatism  (mental)  of  and., 

x 
Author   a   repository   for   Un- 
derworld's secrets,  5 
robbed    two   hundred   times, 
141 
Author's    attempt    at    suicide, 
252,  253 
contribution  to  sociology,  96 
conversations      with      oppo- 

sites,  256 
flirtations  mushy,  133 
foretaste  of  Z's  fate,  251 
menopause,  166,  167 
third  "adopted  son",  257 
trilogy,  3 

visage  the  most  marred,  144 
AUTOBIOGRAPHY  OF  AN 
ANDROGYNE,  vii,  x,  xi, 
3,  16,  43,  50,  59,  72,  83, 
86,  89,  92,  93,  94,  95,  103, 
122,  131,  133,  166,  228, 
236,  239,  251,  252,  253, 
255,  258 
Aversion  to  feminine  society, 
75,  119,  183,  201,  231,  260 

B.  A.  a  fairie,  118 
Bacon,  Francis,  34,  35,  49 

Roger,   39,   80 
Badge  of  fairie-ism,  104 
Ball  games,  65,  257 
Banishment  of  and.,  42 
Battery  Park,  226 
Beard  growth  of  author,  84 
Beardless    men    (natural)    19, 

29,  32,  151,  264,  265 
Beard  scanty,  169,  199,  250 
Bears,  252,  254 

Beer-garden  adventure,  212  ff. 
Being  dogged,  112,  113 
Belle  of  the  ball,  185 
Benighted  lawyers,   196 


leaders  of  thought,  41 
physicians,  74,  176,  204,  220 
Bent    for    woman's    toil,    224, 

227,   257,   268 
Bias  rules  in  sex  domain,  163 
Bible  and  sex  instinct,  13,  14, 

15,  44,  73 
on  homosexuality,   51,   160 
Biceps  unrivalled,  134 
Bicycle  race,  six-day,  124 
Bigotry  (sexual),  2,  22,  23,  39, 

41,  51,  52,   72,  73,  74,  80, 

87,  95,  139,  147,  149,  154, 

159  ff.,   160,   167,   168,   180, 

191,    193,    195,     197,    202, 

209,    213,    220,    222,    239, 

240,  245 
"Biog.    of    Passive    Pederast", 

266 
"Biol.  Sport  of  Fairieism",  262 
Blackmail,  viii,  158,  163,  178ff. 

182,  185  ff.,  217,  224,  257 
Blarney  triumphant,  125 
Bobtailed  from  army,  255 
Boon  of  an  "adopted  son",  189 
Bowery,  169,  207 
a  magnet,  203  ff . 
assoc.  of  author,  284,  285 
"boys",    172,    176,    205,   207, 

285 
Brain,  author's,  83 
Breasts    (artificial),   264,  265 
Bright  intellects,  36,  258 
Broadway  Tenderloin,  104,  125, 

226 
Brownies,  89 
Buffalo  Bill's  show,  254 
Bugle,  212 
Burglar  alarm,  225 
Business     career     of     author, 

90  ff.,  253,  255 

Cassar,  31,  37,  38 

"Calvin   Luther",   217,   219  ff. 

Caravan,  253 

Carpenter,  Edward,  17,  37 

Castration,  16,  67 

Catamite,  27 

Cat  in  a  strange  garret,  172 

Cause  of  androgynism,  18,  46, 


288 


Index. 


49,    60,    70,    73,    147,    148, 
149 
female  -  impersonation,    99, 
100,   101,  148 
sex  intensity,  78,  164,  165 
-Central  Park,  226 
Cere.  Herm.,  151  ff.,  200,  224 
Change  of  life,  165,  166 
Chantage:    See   Blackmail 
Chevelure,  feminine,  264 
Chevelure  of  author,  85,  86 
Childhood      female-impersona- 
tion, 62,  66,  170 
Childhood's  sex  influences,  165 
Childlike  and  womanlike,  86 
Childlikeness  of  author,  83,  85, 

88,  91 
"Child  of  the  Devil",  136 
Child    sex   expression,    54,   57, 

59,  60,  61,  64,  78 
Choosing  aliases,  94 
Christians'  morality,  196 
Christine   of   Sweden,   38 
Church     and     public     opinion 

guilty,  245,  261 
Clerical  profession,  42,  43,  44, 

191 
Climacteric,   166 
Coasting,  66 
Coddled  in  college,  85 
College  course,  82 

preparation,  65,  72 
Common  and.  practices,  158 

type  of  sexual  insanity,  137 
Compens.    by    Providence,    83, 

256 
Comstock,  Anthony,  92 
Conclus.  from  life  exp.,  73 
Confessions  to  author,   5,   256 
Confidants    of    every-day    cir- 
cle, 91,  95,  144 
Congen.  or  acquired,  16,  199 
Conscientious  murderer,  235 
Cont.  Europe  contrast,  179 
Conversations,   sample,   107  ff., 
133  ff.,    152  ff.,    188  ff. 
with  sexual  opposites,  256 
Cornbury.  Lord,  38 
Corsets,  250 


Court     empl.     ultra-crim.,     93 

Court-martials,  94,  257 

Cowardice  of  and.,  67,  68,  75, 
224   225 

Cowboys,  253,  254,  258 

"Crime  against  Nature",  195, 
196 

Criminal  prudery,  61 
ultra-,  113,  138  ff. 

Crooks  are  boastful,  122,  123 

Cross,  author's,  143 

Cross-dressing,  62,  66,  67,  75, 
87,  103,  104,  108,  131,  135, 
152,  157,  165,  170,  199, 
200,  201,  202,  209,  211, 
237,  239,  240,  244,  246, 
248,  250,  264,  265,  267 

Cultured  and.,  146  ft".,  158, 
164  ff.,  170  ff.,  198  ff.,  259, 
et  al. 

Cure  for  homosexuality,  16,  20, 

Curiosity,  author  a,  84 

Dalliance,  256 

Damocles,  sword  of,  225,  231 
Dark  ages,  39,  80,  93,  160,  220 
Daughter  of  regiment,  255 
Day  dreams,  113,  170,  203,  259 
Death  experienced,  142 

preferred  to  disci.,  230 

to  the  traitor,  128 
Decline  of  nations,  45 
Degeneracy,  and.  not,  46 
"Degenerates",    49,    221,    252, 

263 
De  Joux,  17 
Depilation,   32,    100,    152,    169, 

185,  199 
"Depraved"  defined,  160 
Detectives,  and.  as,  123, 

author  as,  5,  238,  284 
Development,  arrested,  49,  149 
Disclosure  to  "every-day"  as- 
sociates, 91,  95,  144 
Disposition  of  and.,  38,  51 
Diversions  of  girl-boys,  62,  65, 

66,  68,  71,  72 
Divorce,  7,  12 
Does  fairie  exist?   263 
Dog-faced  boys,  84 


Index. 


289 


Dogged,  113,  208 

Double-life,  97,   101,   104,   118, 

119 
Dressing,  cross:    see  Cross-dr. 

for  a  spree,  202 
Dress-making  of  and.,  68,  232 
Dual  personality,  92,  97,   101, 

102,  112,  119 
"Duchess  of  Austria",  176 

Early  consc.  of  deform.,  74 

Earmarks  of  and.:    See  Stig- 
mata 

Ear-rings,  266 

Effects  of  abstinence,  44,  72 
child  sex-expression,  78,  164, 
165 

Effeminacy    common    in    aes- 
thetes, 25,  231 
that  is  culpable,  47 

Egotism,  163,  168 

Ellis,  Dr.  Havelock,  37,  48,  50, 
158 

Elmira  Reformatory,  138 

Endocrinology's   testimony,  16 

Enemies  of  truth  &  justice,  4 

Enlistment  in  army,  257 

Environment,  infl.,  132 

Epworth  League,  127 

Erotic  pleasure's  value,  72 

Eternally  dovetailed,  211 

Eunice,   168  ff.,   206 

Eunuchs,  20 

Europe,   continental,   179 

Euterpe,  184  ff. 

Everv-day  circle  of  author,  85, 
91  ff.,  95,  102,  118,  119,  144 

Experiencing  death,  142 

Exp.  from  univ.,  author's,  95 

Fabrication  of  and.,  242 

Fags:    See  Fairies 

Fairie       apprenticeship,       au- 
thor's,  103 
bachelor  of  arts,  118 
does  he  really  exist,  263 

Fairie-ism,  badge  of,  104 
"biological  sport  of",  262 

"Fairies",    89,    109,    150,    255, 
262  ff.,  266  ff.,  et  al. 


Fairies  best  stool  pigeons,  123 
extreme    dressers,    104,    131, 
231,  268 

Fairsea,  Mr.,  159  ff. 

"Fairy  and  Lady  Lover",  262 

"Fallen  angels",  114,  118,  205, 
285 

Families  ignorant  of  bisexual 
members,  62,  183,  239 

F'ank,  54,  59,  61 

Faro,  127 

Fasting,  79 

Father's  assert,  disc,  247 

Favorites  of  androgynes,  7, 
107  ff.,  114,  130,  131,  208, 
209  ff.,  214  ff.,  227,  232, 
233,  234,  236,  et  al. 

"Fed  up"  on  falsehoods,  254 

Fellatio,   59,  60,   64,   182,   228, 
23  i,  236,  238,  255,  256 
effects  of,  99,  235,  256 

Female-impersonate  intoxica- 
tion, 104,  106,  111,  212 

Female-impersonation,   32,   46, 
66,  93,  99,  100,  101,  103  ff., 
131,    150,     157,    171,    177, 
183  ff.,   201  ff.,   205  ff.,   209 
ff.,  235,  243,  256,  261,  263, 
267,  et  al. 
cause  of,  99,  100,  101,  148 
in  childhood,  66,  170 
instinctive,  99 
obsession,  260 

sprees,  103  ff.,  170,  175  ff., 
201  ff.,  207,  211  ff.,  218, 
240,  241,  248,  251,  255, 
259 

Female-impersonators,    gifted, 
108 
popular,  107 

Female  with  male  genitals, 
176 

Femin.  anat.  of  and.,  64,  66 

Feminesqueness  of  author 
recognized  by  business  as- 
sociates, 91 

Feminine  chevelure,  264 
figure  recognized,  87 

Firearms,  horror  of,  75 


290 


Index. 


First  real,  of  abnor.,  70,  73 

Flagellation,   79 

Flirtation,  107  ff.,  130,  133  ff., 
166,  207 

Fort  X,  245 
Y   255  ff. 

Fourteenth  St.  Rialto,  98,  104, 
106,  117,  118,  130,  208, 
215,  226 

Fourth  sex,  98 

Piank  White,  168  ff.,  206 

Freaks  of  nature,  84,  263,  270 

French  doll  baby,  91,  97,  98, 
101,  102,  104,  153,  280 

French  leave,  197,  257 

Freq.  of  and.,  17,  18,  253 
fairie-ism,  107 

Frigidity  of  and.  toward  wom- 
en, 226,  231,  260 

Full-fledged  instincts  equally 
unaesthetic,  136 

Gamblers,  114 

Gambler's  antecedents,  117 

Gambling    a    master    passion, 

120 
Gangsters,  171  ff.,  205  ff.,  260, 

261 
Ganymede,  27 
Gas-house  district,  137 
Genius,  36,  263 
George's  antecedents,  215 
Gethsemane,   author's.    77  ff . 
Girl-boy  diversions,  62,  65,  66, 
68,  71,  72 

reasons  for  suicide,  68 
God    will    avenge    androgynes, 

52 
God-intoxicated  youth,  70,  73, 

76,  77,  79,  143 
Goethe,  93 
Goody-good,  of  and.,  51,   180 

a  "fille-de  joie",  204 

transformed,  204 
Grabowsky,  Dr.,  17 
Grand  Central,  206,  208 

Union,    129 
Great  cy.  desir.,  200,  201,  203 

delusion,  the,  168 
Greeks,  27,  47,  48,  162 


Guest  murders,  227,  229,  234, 

250 
Gun-men,  171 
Gynanders,  98,  154  ff.,  199 

love  androgynes,  154,  155 
Gynander's  fate,   154  ff. 

Hacked  to  death,  228 
Half-and-half    as    to    sex,    15, 

19,  22,  201,  205,  209 
Hanging  and.,  251 
Hangman's  noose,  247 
Hare-brained  sex,  211,  280 
Harmlessness  of  and.  and  in- 
version,   viii,    28,    42,    50, 
147,    161,    192,    209,    220, 
221,  236,  263 

Harvey  Green,  131  ff.,  144,  149 
Health  of  author,  99,  235 
Hercules,  236,  257,  258 

an  unrivalled,  131  ff. 
Hermaphrodites,    21 

psychic,  19 
Hermaphroditoi,  151  ff.,   164  ff. 
Hermaphroditos,  27 

Cercle,   151  ff.,  200,  224 
Hero-worship,  134 
Herzog,  Dr.  A.  W.,  i,  vii  ff., 
Hirschfield,  Dr.  M.,  18 
Homocide  Bureau,  247 
Homos,    at   climacteric,   166 

Bible  on,  44,  51,  160 

(chronic)   congenital,  ix,  16, 

20,  46 

cure  for,  16,  20 
"Homosexuals"     a     misnomer, 
254 
no  worse  than  hetero.,  148 
Hon.,    author's    bosom    friend, 

85 
Hotel  Comfort,  109 
Hotel  X,  156 

Housekp.  of  and.,  201,  226,  257 
How  milk  on  14th  St.,  126 
Howard,  Dr.  W.  L.,  27,  37 
Hypocrites,  11,  115.     See  also 
Pharis. 

Immoral,  novelty  in  N.  Y.,  194 
Imprisonment  of  and.,  81,  149, 


Index. 


291 


191  ff.,  209,  213,  263  ff. 
Incognito  necessary,  200 
Indian  country,  258 
Industry  of  author,  255 
Infantilism,  38,  61,  84,  88,  90, 

156 
Infatuation,   187 
Inherited  lechery,  56 
In  high  spirits,  241,  242 
Inquis.   author,   122,   132,   150, 

167 
Instinct,  female-imp.,  99 
Intellect  of  author,  82,  83 

androgynes,  36,  83,  263,  267 
Intellectual     aristocrat     brow- 
beaten by  pleb.,  195 
Intoxication,  female-imperson- 
ate, 104,  106,  111,  212 
Irresponsibility  of  and.,  163 
Is  bisex.  worst  crime?  147 
"I  want  to  die!"  69 

Javerts,  197 

"Jennie  June",  origin,  93 
Jennie  Lind,  94 
Jesus,  15 

Jilted,  115,  138,  251,  252,  254 
Joseph   (of  Egypt),  220 
JOURNAL    OF    SEXOLOGY, 
37,  110 

Kant,  14 

Keep  tots  sexually  clean,  60 

Key  stolen,  142 

Knit  souls,  122,  123,  210 

Krafft-Ebing,  Dr.,  15,  158 

Lake  Ontario,  117 

Law,  Ang.-Amer.,  unintell.,  179 

Law  clerk,  92 

Laws,  change  of,  viii,  1 

Lawyers,  benighted,   196 

Leader  of  a  Bowery  gang,  207 

Leaders  of  th't  benight.,  41 

ignore  evidence,  162 

murderers,  150,  209,  245,  261 
Lecturer  on  sexo.,  author,  256 
Legal  adoption,  217,  218 

persecution    of    androgynes, 
1,  93,   143,   161,   162,   179, 


196,  213,  265 
superstitions,  196 
Leland,  Chas.  G.,  37 
Lichtenstein,  Dr.  P.  M.,  16,  262 
Life  story  told  sweeth.,  256 
Lind,  Earl,  92,  94,  95 
Loathing   of  androgynes,   228, 

238,    242,    245,    246,    251, 

253  ff.,  261 
a  murder  motive,  157,  232 
Lohengrin,   137 
Lotharios,  107  ff.,  118,  130 
Love-letters,   author's,   95 
LOVE'S       COMING-OF-AGE, 

17,  37,  48 
Lumbering  camps,  253 

Madison  Sq.,  226 
Garden,  124,  254 
Male  figure  more  artistic,  157 

qual.  that  knit  fern.,  258 
Man  and  woman  in  one  body, 
112 

ashamed  of  his  nature,  168 

not  rational,   39  ff.,   163 

-slaughter,  243 

transf.   into   soubr.,  268 

woman,  &  infant  in  one,  88 
Man's  prudery  almost  fatal,  80 

causes   many  murders,   157 
Mandatory  of  society,  222,  233, 

235,   238 
Manner   of   life    of   and.,   200, 

224,  257,  264 
"Manon  Lescaut",  151 
Many  fern. -imp.  expl.,  240 
Mardi  gras,  184 
Marriage  covers  sins,  218 

of  and.,  20,  29,  31,  217 
Marry,  androgynes  not  to,  20, 

205 
Martin,  118 

Masked  ball,  157,  182  ff 
Match-heads  eaten,  255 
Maternal  instincts,  177 
McDonald,  B.,  116,  119  ff.,  275 
Medical    exam.,    250,    260,   261 

superstition.  20 
MEDICAL  LIFE,  262 


292 


Index. 


MEDICAL     REV.     OF     RE- 
VIEWS, 262 
MEDICO-LEGAL   JOURNAL, 

viiff.,  4 
Melancholia    of    and.,    44,    62, 

67,    68,    69,    72,     73,    74, 

76  ff.,    80,    101,    103,    104, 

195,    201,    202,    209,    239, 

252,  254 
Menopause,   166 

of  author,  166,  167 
Men-women:     See  Gynanders. 
Methodists,  117,  193 
Method  of  robbery,  140  ff. 
Michelangelo,  32,   37,  38,   161, 

215,  216 
Mildly   androgynous,   18,    151 

virile,  11,  220,  221 
Military  prison,  257 
Millinery  of  and.,  200,  268 
Miners,  253 

Misanthrope,  making  a,  192 
Missionary  work  of  author,  xi, 

1,  2,  81,  167,  245 
Mistresses,  253 
"Mith  Nighty",  157 
Modesty  of  girl-boys,  64,  68 
Mohawk  valley,  132,  138 
Moll,  Dr  A.,  17 
Mollie  Dale,  155  ff. 
Monandry   not  for   and.,   182 
"Monsters",    1,    42,    180,    191, 

222,    233,    238,    244,    252, 

254 
"Monte  Carlo",  120,  126  ff. 
Morality  of  and.,  49,  51,  180, 

222 
of  Christians,  196 
Morgue,  260 
Moron,  83,  90 
Most  and.  ultra-relig.,  43 

shelt.  2  went  to  bad,  55 
Mr.   Skirt,  186  ff. 
Mulberry  St.,  103,  138 
Murder  motive  in  loathing  of 

and.,  157,  232 
Murdered  by  a  guest,  227,  229, 

234,  250 
Murderer   (consc),  235,  249 


mand.  of  soc,  222,  233,  235, 

238 
Murd.  and.  not  necessary,  254 
Murders   of  and.,  viii,   1,   142, 

149,  157,  162,  208,  221  ff., 

227,  231,  235,  237  ff.,  254, 

256,  259  ff. 
Muscles  of  author,  84 
My  life's  motto,  77 

tempta.  hardly  eq.,  78 
Myers,  Abraham,  121,  124  ff. 

Nabob,  by  and.,  236,  256,  257 
Names   of  and.,   93,    100,   101, 

151,  157,  176,  219 
Nathan's  parable,  147 
Nations,  decline  of,  45 
Natural   monogamy,   12 

polygamy,   10 
Nature  indie,  rear,  as  girl,  65 

to  be  blamed,  163 
Nature's  nobleman,  254 
Neckties,  104,  260 
New  York  Harbor,  237 

Beau   Brummel,   115  ff. 
Newton,  Isaac,  14 
No  alcohol,  no  ven.  dis.,  110 
Non-congenital  homos.,  ix 
Non-resist.   of  and.,   206,   241, 

248 
Non-segregation,  161 
Not  cause  decl.  nat.,  47 
Not  willingly  half-and-h.,  201 
Now  man,  now  woman,  3,  190 
Nursing  by  and.,  255 
Nymph,   (psy.),  60,  169,  257 

Obed.  to  Nat.  gave  peace,  101 
Occupations  of  and.,  16,  43 
Onanism,  12,  83 
Onanists    (mutual),  20 
One  offence  of  and.,  50 
Opposites  attract,  258 
Outcast  and.,  159 
Outlook  on  life  at  11,  67 
Overconscientiousness,  71,  220 

Parents  killed  by  offs.,  254 

take  time  for  children!   165 
Parents'  duty,  60,  61 


Index. 


293 


Paresis,  148 

Hall,   146  ff.,   181 
"Pass,  pederast,  biog.  of",  266 
Pathics,  60 

Paul  (author's  soulmate),  118 
Paul,  St.,  14 
Pederasty  (active),  20 

(passive),  20,  266 
Pedro,  126  ff. 
Perennial    youth    of   and.,    91, 

151,  228,  255 
Persecution  of  and.,  149,  180, 

193,    197,    244,    246,    251, 

261 
Personality  (dual),  92,  97,  101, 

102,  112,  119 
Petits-jesus,  51,  147 
Phariseeism    of   public,   4,   11, 

23,  159  ff.,  181,  193,  252 
Phyllis,  153,  198  ff. 
antecedents,  200 
finds  herself,  206,  207 
passes  on,  221 
Physicians 

dicta,    16,   49,   74,    143,    149, 

204,  220  ff. 
narrowminded,  144 
Physique    of    author,    84,    89, 

108 
Plato,  27,  29,  37,  161 
Plat.   mar.   of  and.,   166,   217, 

239 
Plum,   159  ff. 
Plumpness  of  and.,  20 
Policeman,  213,  247,  260 
Portrait  painter,  215 
Potiphar's  wife,  220 
Poultry  bisexuality,  24 
Predest.  of  aut.  to  career,  79, 

80 
Present  soc.  rules  inadeq.,  57 
Prince  Pansy,  151 
Prodigy  (muscular),  134  ff. 
Professional     life     of    author, 

90  ff.,  253,  255 
Promise,  and.,  182,  235,  255 
Prostitutes,  253 
Provid.  compens.  aut.,  58,  256 
praised,  73,  113,  143 


Prudery,  40,  61,  220,  228,  238, 

245    256 
murders,  149,  225,  227,  235, 

245,  253 
Pseudo-hermaphrodites,  21 
Psyche,  author's,  89 
Psych,  effem.,  degrees,  240 

hermaphrodites,  19,  239 
Psychop.  individuality,  238 
Public  opinion  guilty,  245 
Publicity     would     remove      a 

world  of  woe,  197 
Pug  Heaven,  175  ff. 
Pugilists'  Haven,  171  ff . 
Punishments  for  and.,  144 
Puritanism    of    and.,    45,    106, 

118,  249 
Pussie  (origin  of  name),  94 

Q  Apartments,  224 
Q's  murder,  3,  259  ff. 

"Rabbit",  205  ff. 

Race  suicide,  49,  161,  196 

"Ralph    Werther",    origin,    93, 

94 
Raphael,  33,  49,  93,  161 
Rare  find,  135 
Rebellion,  War  of,  255 
Recogn.,  mutual,  of  and.,  158 
Recogn.  after  16  yrs.,  255 
Regimentals         overpowering, 

210 
Rejec.  from  Chr.  ministry,  80 
Relat.  ashamed  prosec,  246 
Religiosity  of  and.,  43,  73,  143, 

191 
Religious  prodigy,  author  was, 

70,  73,  76,  77,  79,  143 
Reporters,  248 
Resourceful  and.,  176,  181 
Reticence,   sex,    167,   168,   222, 

239,  245,  259 
Reubs,  119  ff. 

Rialto:    See   Fourteenth   St. 
RIDDLE  OF  UNDERWORLD, 

4,    59,    98,    103,    114,    118, 

123,  204 
Robbers'  vie.  200  times,  141 
Robbery,  140,  173,  176,  230, 


294 


Index. 


232,  234,  256,  261 
Rockies,  252,  253,  258 
Roland  Reeves,  150  ff.,  158  ff., 

164,  208 
Ropes,  249 

Sadder  but  wiser  "Reub",  129 
Sailors,   172  ff.,  230,  240,  249 
Saint  Paul's  sex  teachings,  14 
School  days   (author's),  63  82 
Seance  with  a  burglar,  139 
Secret  guest,  231 
Segregation  of  and.,  161 
Sex  bigotry:    See  Bigotry 

doctrine  of  Bible,  13,  14,  15, 
44,  73 

domain  ruled  by  bias,  163 

expression  in  childhood,   54, 
57,  59,  60,  61,  64,  78 

fourth,  98 

influences  of  childhood,  165 

instinct's  decline,   165 

intensity,  cause  of,  78,  164, 
165 

scale,  22 
Sexology   tabooed:     See   Ret- 
icence 
Sexual  insanity,  137 

precocity,  64 

the  worst  crippling,  2 
Shakespeare-author,  34,  37,  38 

problem,  35 
Shame  of  and.'s  rel.,  245,  246 
Shufeldt,    Dr.    R.    W.,    82,    89, 

110,  266 
Sikhs,  48 

Simul.  life  as  3  persons,  92 
Sing  Sing,  196,  202 
Skeleton  of  author,  84 
Social  elite,  265 
Sociology,  aut's  contr.,  96 
Socrates,  28,  37,  161 
Sodomites,  45,  146,  223,  238 
Softness  of  and.,  66,  84  ff.,  254, 

255 
Soldiers,  11,  30,  31,  47,  79,  87, 
104,   210,  226,  233,  255  ff. 
"Soldiers'  Friend",  89 
Solut.  of  gyn.  disapp.,  156 


Sons     ("adopted"),    187,    214, 

257,  258 
Songs  of  fairie,  133,  269 
Soprano  voice  of  and.,  267 
Soul-mate  of  author    (lifelong 

in  dreamland),  54 
Spencer,  Herbert,  14 
Spermatorrhea,  83 
Spiritual  auto,  of  author,  73 
"Squirrel",  207 

Stamping  grounds  of  and.,  226 
Stigmata  of  and.,  19,  100,  151, 

199,    231,    250,    255,    259, 

264,  265,  267 
Strangling     of     and.,     232  ff., 

237  ff.,  242,  249 
Struggling  to  save  reason,  143 
Stuyvesant  Sq.,  113,  130  ff. 
Suetonius,  37 
Suicide  of  and.,  viii,  1,  62,  68, 

74,  195,  209,  237  ff.,  251  ff., 

254,  255,  260 
Supermen 

are  and.?  37 
Supreme  man,  136,  145 

woman,  212 
Susa,  114 

Talk  of  and.,  153  ff. 
Temperance  only  salv.,  59 
Tenderloin    (Broadway),    104, 

125,  226 
Testicular  secretion,  16,  149 
Things  not  what  seem,   119 
Throwing  act  of  and.,  65,  67, 

267 
Tobacco,  152 
"Tombs"  (N.  Y.  City),  194  ff., 

262 
Tony  Neddo,  186  ff.,  193,  197 
Torture  of  and.,  method,  244, 

261.     See  also  under  Per- 
secution. 
Tracy,  126  ff. 

Transform,  not  bargained,  173 

Tremend.  vir.,  7,  107,  122,  221 

attitute    toward    and.,     172, 

176,  186  ff.,  201,  206,  221, 

235,  253,  256 
Trilogy  (author's),  3 


Index. 


295 


Trusted  murderer,  234 

26th  to  32d  yrs.  of  aut.,  89  ff. 

Two  handwritings,  95 

Ulrichs,  K.  H.,  38 
Ultra-androgynous,  19 

crim,  court  employee,  93 

unexpected  happens,  138 

virile,  9 
Underworld's  sec.  conn,  aut.,  5 
Union  Square,  226 
University    and.,    103  ff.,    118, 
158,  180 

author  expelled  from,  95 
"Urning"  term,  38 

Value  of  erotic  pleasure,  72 

Village  fairie,  71 

Virile:      See    Tremend.    v.    & 

ultra-v. 
Virility  confers  bravery,  255 
Visage  aut.  most  marred,  144 
Visit  to  Ft.  Y  in  1921,  255 
Voice  of  author,  86,  111 

Walt  Whitman,  30,  36,  37,  255 
War  and  and.,  30,  32,  87,  255 
Warning  to  and.,  206 
Whistling,  267 
Wilde,  Oscar,  18,  28,  49 
Witch-burning,  41 


Weapons  a  fetish,  224 

Wee  girl-boy's  outlook,  62 

"Werther",  origin,  93 

Why  androgynes  are  hated,  45 

an  Underworld,  6 
Wig,  202,  217,  265,  268 
Wiles   of  and.,   158,   181,   239, 

240,  241,  251 
Womanlike,  author,  86,  87 
Woman-man,  the,  213 
Woman-soul,  253 
Woman's   toil,   bent,   227,   257, 

268 
World  War,  255 
Wyoming,  254 

"X  and  wife",  158 
X  offenceless,  236 
X's  murder,  223  ff . 
Xenophon,  29 

Y  offenceless,  236 

Y's  murder,  231  ff. 

Yearning  for  feminine  attire, 
267.  See  also  Cross-dress- 
ing. 

Z  of  and.  physique,  250 

Z's  fate,  aut's  foretaste,  251 

murder,  237  ff. 

woman's    apparel,    248 


